The Moron that is Me

by A writer has no name

"Sasuke Uchiha is the world's biggest prick" according to seventeen year old Naruto Uzumaki. But after a party where some things go down, Naruto finds himself constantly thinking about him. But Naruto knows Sasuke uses people and throws them away without a care. He's not like those moronic girls fawning all over that teme. Definetly not! Not a chance...right?

16. Chapter 15

The Moron that is Me Chapter 15: Which way is up?

"Oi, get the fuck offa me," A grumbly voice growled. I snuggled closer to the warm body, tightening my arms around it in an iron grip. I even laced my fingers together to make it extra hard to pull me off.

Ah, so cozy. The last of my dreams were still trailing off and I hadn't quite woken up. But gosh darn, there was a heater-like thing next to me and it was so nice and warm. Why in the world would I want to move?

"Hey!" The voice said again. Does this person not understand that I am basking in dreams and comfy-ness and warmth right now? Well, apparently not. So, the best option is just to ignore. And, naturally, press myself closer to the heater.

"I", the heater pressed against me shifts. Hm, that's odd. "Said", it pulls away slightly. "Get OFF!" Something wallops into my stomach. Hard.

Pain erupts through my body, my abdomen the center of it all. I open my eyes and glare at the mean person that hit a defenseless sleeping person. Kiba was lying next to me, hair askew, body trying to contort away from me, looking very, very grumpy.

"Kiba you motherfucker. That hurt like a bitch." I tried to growl, but it came out more like a sleepy mumble.

"I told you to get offa me." He says unapologetically. So cold, Kibs. So cold.

Especially to someone who was so warm. Clearly, he had to be the heater since no one else was close to me and I could still feel the heat radiating off his body. I move to sit up and then I lift a hand and rub my eyes. I can feel those little crusty move from the corners of my eyes as my hard rubs at them. Those things are kind of gross. What are they? I bet Shikamaru knows…

When I'm done rubbing, I look at Kiba, who is trying to disentangle himself from the covers and move away. It's not like I smell! At least I hope. I think I applied deodorant after I got out of the hot tub. My nose moves toward my armpit. I take a good whiff. Jeez, I smell like freaking flowers! Well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration but I certainly have deodorant on.

"Kiba," I whine. He turns to shoot me an annoyed look. Making a split second decision, I launch myself at him and wrap myself around his body. "Let's cuddle!" I exclaim, trying to hold back my snickers as his body stiffens. Oh Kiba, he really doesn't handle guy on guy contact well. Personally, I like it. Especially when said person has dark hair, pale skin, muscly physique, dark eyes…shit! Bad Naruto! Stop thinking about the teme! Especially while hugging Kiba. If I go up while cuddling with him things may get slightly awkward (even though I am thinking of Sasuke…not sure if that makes it any better).

Soon his arms are prying at body, trying to peel it away from his. "Get off, idiot!" He hisses. A laugh sounds and I look over to see Temari peering over from the couch with a smile stretching across her face. "It's not funny," Kiba snaps at her, "Get him off".

"Nah, this is funny," she says, not moving an inch. Temari has such a great sense of humor. She always laughs at the stuff I laugh.

"Shut up, you're being annoying," Shikamaru (who apparently is also awake) grumbles to Kiba.

"Just pretend he's Hinata," Temari calls out. Both her and I break out into chuckles. I look up at Kiba and see his face turn a funny shade of pink. "Oh, young love," I sigh dreamily, trying my best to keep all signs of laughter from my voice.

Once he recovers from his embarrassment, he glares down at me. "I'll hit you right on your new piercing," He threatens. NO!

"You wouldn't," I cry, that is such a low blow. My poor belly button is so sensitive at the moment.

"I would," He says gravely. I quickly let go and scramble away from him, one hand hovering protectively over the piercing.

Shikamaru snorts at our antics as Kiba hauls himself up. As he gets up, his boxers peek out from above the waist band of his pajama pants. My eyes zero in on the white dog bones that stand out against the red background.

"Nice, undies, dog-breath. " I tease him.

"Nice pajamas, ramen-freak," Shikamaru says immediately after. Not cool. I glare at him. Jeez Shikamaru, I was teasing Kiba not you. How uncalled for. I look down at pajamas. I am wearing a long sleeved shirt with a big bowl of ramen in the middle and pajama pants with little bowls of ramen all over them. These pajamas are freaking amazing!

"These pajamas are awesome!" I defend. Because they are! Shika is probably jealous. Or an idiot. Everyone with any brain cells knows ramen is the best food out there. Excuse me for expressing my love by wearing pajamas with it on them.

Oh ramen. I love ramen. I wonder if Shikamaru has any here that I can eat before school. Delicious, steaming ramen…

Temari's laugh pulls me from my daydreams of heavenly ramen. I stare at her. She can't be laughing at my ramen pajamas….no wait, she is!

"Ah! You guys suck!" I stand up from my spot and exclaim. With a stomp of my foot. Because gosh darn it ramen is nothing to laugh at. I glance to my left and see Gaara laying sideways, watching us with a blank expression. "I don't need you guys. I'll go cuddle with Gaara." I tell them. I turn to Gaara who is now staring at me in an eerie sort of way. It doesn't bother me in the least.

"Don't even think about it," He says in a deadly calm, serious voice.

I take another step closer. Gaara, old buddy, old pal, you are all I have left. I see him stiffen and suddenly he gets up, his eyes locked on my slowly advancing body.

"Just a hug?" I ask, testing the waters. Hugs in the morning are so nice. Who doesn't like morning hugs?

"No." Apparently, Gaara.

I take another step forward. Am I ignoring Gaara's wishes? No. Am I telling myself that no really means yes?...maybe.

I am within range. I smile at Gaara innocently. Then I pounce.

My forehead smacks into Gaara's outstretched palm. I try to reach his body, but his arms (goddammit) are longer than mine and he's holding me at arm's length.

So cold! Why does everyone hate hugs?!

Thirty minutes later, we all off to school. Mrs. Nara (I seriously love her) had found me some ramen for breakfast which totally brightened my day. Everyone else, being the lame people they are, ate cereal or fruit. We couldn't all fit in one car so Temari, Shikamaru, and Gaara jumped in Temari's car, and Kiba and I went in his truck.

"Do you think Baa-chan will punish Gaara a lot?" I asked Kiba as we pulled into the school parking lot.

Kiba sighed. "I really hope not."

"Me too," I echoed.

"Damn though, I've never seen someone hit Gaara before, let alone match him in a fight." Kiba said. Yeah, that was pretty amazing. They were both so scary and cool. I had a feeling Sasuke was a good fighter, but it was something else to see him match Gaara in a fight.

I nodded, not really knowing what to say. I'm usually overflowing with nonsensical shit to say (yes, I am away of it), what is wrong with me? It's probably because my diet has been off lately. I haven't been having nearly enough ramen.

Kiba parked (nearly hitting the car to our right as he pulled into the spot) and we both hopped out.

"Kiba, carry me!" Ugh, I so don't feel like walking right now. Maybe I ate too much ramen…hah! Such a thing isn't possible.

"Hell no," He responded immediately. He could have at least thought about. Or pretended to think about it. Jeez.

For the first time all day, I realize what he's wearing. Well now, that's interesting. I don't like it. Nope, not one bit.

"What are you wearing?" I ask, nonplussed. Because really, Kiba and a button-down polo are just like water…and that liquid that doesn't mix with water. Whatever, it just isn't normal.

"Can't a guy dress nice?" He looks at me, acting all affronted. Please, I see right through you. Naruto Uzumaki notices everything! Believe it! I have been told on multiple occasions that I'm as sharp as a tack…

"Yes, a guy can Kiba. But not you."

"That's so rude!" He squawks. Ah, the truth hurts, the truth hurts.

"Your mom had to pay you fifty bucks to not wear jeans and a hoodie to eighth grade graduation. And that was the only day I have ever seen you wear slacks." I reminded him. He deflated somewhat. Then he stayed silent, looking unsure of what to say. I have that effect on people—stunning them into silence (though the silence is usually accompanied by some rather unfriendly looks).

"But don't worry, you look devilishly handsome. Those girls will be throwing numbers at you left and right." I say with an eyebrow wiggle and a jab to his side. He cracks and grin and tells me to shut up. Please, he so wants me to keep going.

"There's only one girl I want to notice," He says seriously. I look at him carefully because this is a very serious moment where I need to prove my worthiness as a friend and lift up his confidence and convince him he can get the girl of his dreams because he is a spectacular person.

"And she will don't worry. You are a great person. I know she sees that too. I've seen the way she looks at you. And when you see her today," I said (pausing briefly to figure out how to word the next part), "you'll slay her." You know because Hinata is like the big, bad dragon Kiba is after, and he'll prevail all heroically like some knight.

"Thanks man. You're the best." Kiba says with a happy lilt to his voice. Aw, Kiba anytime. I'm so good at these serious friendship moments.

Yeah, Kiba with his sword, getting his girl that he's sought after….his sword…hehe…slay….Hinata…

"Yeah, Kiba dude," I chuckle, "you'll totally slay here with that 'sword' of yours."

It's silent for a moment as Kiba processes what I said. Maybe he didn't get it, I'll have to help him a bit.

"With your long, hard sword you'll stab it right into her and-" A fist jammed itself into my gut, my PIERCING!

"Hah, FUCK!" I shout aloud, doubling over. That fucking KILLED!

Kiba is glaring at me. His face is all red and blushy though because well you know…he's thinking sexual stuff about Hinata now. What a perv.

"You pervert!" He shouts back at me. Then he turns and begins walking into school. My eyes are definitely not watering from that jab to my precious, sensitive piercing, not at all.

"Ah, the piercing, the piercing," I gasp as I tenderly touch my stomach. Kiba, you bitch. I straighten up slowly. Okay, I may have had that coming to me. Heh, it was funny though….fuck when did I turn into such a perv?

I didn't used to be this way. I used to be innocent, a total angel…well kind of. Now…now, I'm corrupted! Ugh!

Suddenly my phone began to buzz. My hand dove into the left pocket of my jeans and pulled out my poor cracked phone. Without looking at the caller id (because where's the fun in that?), I answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Naruto! Why haven't you answered any of my texts?" Iruka sounded slightly frantic. Whoopsie daisy. I scratched the back of my head and giggled nervously.

"Eh, sorry Iruka! I haven't looked at my phone so I didn't see them. My bad." Shit, please don't let him be mad.

"You just texted me that you were going to Shikamaru's house for a sleepover and never responded when I texted you back!" Ah…

"Sorry!"

"Ugh, it's fine. Just, next time please check your phone. I was worried." Oh, Iruka you are the best parent ever!

"Of course! Thank you! I'm sorry!"

"Did you have fun?" I started walking toward school.

"Yeah, we just hung at Shikamaru's. Everyone was there. It was a good time. Oh! And Mrs. Nara made me ramen for breakfast!"

"That's good…I had a parent-teacher conference yesterday with your English teacher, Mr. Kakashi." Oh, damn, I forgot about that. Kakashi I'll kill you if you said anything bad about me to Iruka.

"Oh, um, how'd it go?" I asked with a nervous giggle. Why do I sometimes giggle when I'm nervous? I sound like a lunatic pansy.

"It went well. He is very nice. So polite and mature, and he really seems to care for his students and be interested in them. I'm so glad you have such a nice teacher." …what the fuck? He can't be talking about Kakashi. That lazy pervert doesn't give a flying fuck about anything except his porn.

"He told me about how he made you get a tutor because he knows you are bright and just wants you to succeed. I'm glad he's taking such an active approach to your learning. The fact that he reached out to me out of his concern for you, it's…he's a good man for you to have as a role model at school." Iruka, what lies has Kakashi been spouting to you! You poor thing. That's not who he is at all. Why the fuck would even contact you? I can't figure it out! I'm going to maim him for telling Iruka and then confusing him and acting like a good teacher.

"Um…" How the heck am I supposed to respond to that?

"Oh, but I want to make sure that this tutoring is really benefitting you and that you are making the most of this. So when's your next tutoring session?" …why do you want to know? This can't be headed anywhere good.

"Thursday." Okay, technically there is a session before that but...

"Okay then you two will come to our house that day."

…

"What?" I managed to rasp out.

"We can talk about this later when you get home. Have fun at school."

"Okay…bye."

"Bye!"

….I don't really know what just happened. My phone exits out of the call screen and all my text messages pop up. I see Iruka's texts and I also see a bunch that Sasuke sent me. Sasuke texted me some more…not thinking about that or Sasuke or anything related to the teme.

I drag my feet through the main hallway of the school toward my first period class. My thoughts are goop. Complete and utter goop.

What the hell just happened?! Iruka wants me to invite Sasuke over? I mean even if it is under the pretense of tutoring, I ain't letting him in my house. Nope! Never.

All was well and dandy until Mr. Marks class. He is second on my teacher hit list. Kakashi is number one, obviously. The guy is just such an ass. He took off five points on my last test because I didn't write the date. The fucking date!

And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, I had Sasuke's eyes drilling holes into me the whole class period. And you know as fun as it is to have eyes burning holes into the back of your skull—not!—I just find it the teensiest bit distracting. And then of course, because he was trying to burn me alive with his never-wavering gaze, Psycho Bitch kept glancing over at me with her own little friendly looks. And when I say friendly looks I mean glares that told me she would gladly gauge my eyes out and peel off my skin if she could. Does that sound excessively violent? I don't think so. She is a scary bitch.

Gym class was just as fun with Sasuke's stares. Especially in the locker room. Yeah, that certainly didn't make me blush the shade of a fire hydrant and get nervous butterflies in my stomach. No, I'm perfectly comfortable being stared at when I'm in next to nothing by a sex god who apparently doesn't like to blink. Luckily Kiba seemed to have recovered from the whole 'slaying' Hinata thing (so funny!) so we stuck together. Today we had to split into teams of four and do relay races. Kiba and I and John and Lee (much to Kiba's annoyance) got together. We came in first. Sasuke's team came in second (Hah! Suck it! You lost to me…er, my team! Take that!). Not that I took notice or cared or anything like that. I certainly, wasn't running my fricken legs off against Neji in order to beat Sasuke's team and mentally gloat about it. That would be immature.

At lunch, Gaara informed us all that he had been called to Tsunade's office during second period.

"What'd she say?!" Temari shouted before any of us could ask.

"I have detention all day on Saturday," he said. We waited for him to tell us what the rest of his punishment was but he didn't say anymore.

"That's it?" Kiba asked incredulously.

"Yeah," Gaara confirmed.

"That's great!" I shouted, slapping him on the back happily. This earned me an annoyed glare.

"Then what does Uchiha have to do?" Shikamaru questioned.

"Nothing," Gaara said, his voice surprisingly level.

"Whoa, seriously?" Kiba's voice was filled with shock.

"Why not?" Temari demanded.

"He didn't start the fight. I did." Gaara said, most likely quoting what Tsunade had said to him earlier.

A couple people grumbled but there was no arguing with that logic.

LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE

Sadly, Gaara told me he couldn't escort me to English class which is a total bummer. I walked idly down the hallway, in no particular hurry to see Kakashi or Sasuke or Psycho Bitch or the multitude of close friends I have in literature class (coughnonecough). Well, maybe I did want to see Kakashi but only so I can yell at him again. That ass, feeding Iruka lies. As I approach the corner where I turn to get to my classroom I hear his name. I had a mini dun-dun-dun-duuuuuun moment where my mental processes froze and my heart did some weird mini-stroke thing. And like any normal person would do, I pressed myself to the wall and eavesdropped.

"Sasuke, you weren't returning any of my calls." Some girl said. Her voice just oozed flirtatiousness. Gross.

"I know," Sasuke said coldly. My lips involuntarily twitched upward. It's not like I was happy he was being mean to some floosy. Not at all.

"It's just that I'm kind of lonely," the girl practically purred. Go die in a hole. Oh, whoops, was that a little too harsh?

I waited to hear what Sasuke would say next but all I got was silence. I really hoped Sasuke was just staring at the girl coldly and not doing something else and since he is such a man-whore, a lot of something else's come to mind.

"Er, well," Her voice was suddenly unsure. Oh yeah, he's totally staring at her with his holier-than-thou ice mask. "I am free. Anytime. Anywhere. Just call me okay. I-"

Sasuke interrupted her. "Look, I'm not interested. Don't call me anymore." He said uncaringly.

"But-" The girl started.

"Ever." Sasuke's voice was so chilling and mean that even I was surprised.

And then for some reason, a small smile stretched across my face. I quickly squash the spark of elation I feel though. Shit…that didn't happen.

Suddenly a girl rushes around the corner, looking mortified, angry, and on the verge of tears. She rushes by but then stops and looks at me. Her angry, watery eyes are startled at first and then narrow in a none too nice expression. Oh…well…this is awkward.

Without waiting another moment, I avert my gaze and rush around the corner. As soon as I'm around the corner I see Sasuke's back. He is only a few steps ahead of me. I watch as he slips into the room. I follow him (not because I'm creepy or anything but because we are going to the same classroom), and cross into the room just as the music signaling the last minute of the passing period begins.

I quickly find my normal seat. Because I'm a moron, I chance a glance up at Sasuke. He is looking ahead seemingly unfocused. His profile looks as flawless as ever. God, he sucks.

A blob of pink appears in my peripheral vision. I drag my eyes to Sakura and watch as she walks up to Sasuke. Her shirt today is scandalously tight and low-cut. In fact, I'm seeing way too much jiggling flesh in that vicinity. And I want to vomit. Feelings such as this were how I learned I was into men. That and I blushed just as hard as the girls next to me when a boy would go shirtless in gym. Gym was an awkward struggle for me for a couple years, not gonna lie (especially those early hormonal years…yeah those were a bitch). Sasuke lifted up his gaze when Sakura stopped next to his desk. She leaned down, one hand flipping her hair out of the way. I really don't like her.

The bell rings.

"Hey Sasuke, so what did you think of that homework? Pretty easy, huh?" She asked with a little laugh. Of course, she thought the homework was easy. She was great at English stuff and I suck-up in every class (I've had enough with her over the years to know)…Oh, shit. We had homework?!

"Fuck," I groaned and slapped my palm to my forehead. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I don't' even look at Teme and Psycho Bitch again. I frantically pull out my folder and attempt to locate anything that may vaguely resemble homework.

Kakashi walks in. Late, of course. "Sorry, there was a beached whale."

…we don't even live near the freaking ocean…

Luckily, Kakashi doesn't check homework and instead passes out packets and tells us to read it and annotate it for literary devices. A quick flashback of Sasuke teaching me lit devices and sharing a ramen kiss with me pops into my mind before I smack it away. Stupid mind. It is completely useless.

When I get my packet I stare at it. Then I stared some more. "One must be tactful, not the slightest bit odious or deceitful, in order to guide the soul into its transient nature, a nature full of vivacity and rectitude and flexibility." I read mentally.

…

Uh, yeah…my brain just shut down. I don't know what the fuck that says. In fact, it hurts to even look at the words. I groan loudly and rest my cheek against my fist. My eyes wander the room as I do this. When I groan again Psycho Bitch's head turns my way. Shit. When I can see her, she locks eyes with me and glares. She sits about three desks up and one row over so I can see the glare she gives pretty well. I smile and give her the finger. Over the years, my middle finger and her have become very well acquainted. Her glare turns even nastier and she turns around. God, I just love school.

Ten minutes later Kakashi stands up and his eyes leave his porno book. "Okay, if you want you may get in a group and discuss and compare what you found. Or you can not. I don't really care." He announces before sitting back down and lifting his book back up to his face. How in the world can Iruka think this man is some great, involved teacher?

Naturally, since I have zero friends in the class, I don't move from my spot to go find a group. And since I didn't read shit, I am stumped on what to do. I look up to see people move around and find their friends. Joy, Psycho Bitch moves closer to me so she can sit by one of her friends. How she has friends escapes me. I notice the only other person in the room who doesn't get up or move to find people is Sasuke. But I don't let my eyes linger on him long and look back at my desk.

What to do? What to do?...Ugh I'm dying of boredom! I look out the window, then at the ceiling, then at the classroom, then back at my desk. I am an energetic person, at least right now, and I want to be doing something. Something fun and exciting, or at least something, anything to keep my mind occupied. Lately my thoughts have wandered dangerous places when they aren't occupied which is not good.

I take out my phone and stare at the cracked screen (that was not one of my finest moments). I decide to text Iruka and ask him if we can go out for ramen tonight. Just the thought of ramen makes me drool. I also shoot a text to Gaara informing him that I am bored.

Iruka doesn't respond but luckily Gaara does.

'Why?'

'Cuz lit class sucks balls'

'just write a poem'

'we aren't working on poetry tho. I don't even know what we are doing but its so hard'

'oh'

'Hey, ill write u a poem tho!'

'Don't'

'Gaara is red, my eyes are blue, my angsty best friend, why that would be you! What do you think?!'

'I hate it'

'Oh but Gaara I poured lots of luv in it for u!'

'goodbye'

'Hahaha very funny'

'Gaara?'

'GGGAAARRRRAAAA?'

Gaara stopped responding, that rude jerk. I thought the poem was pretty impressive. I can be creative when I want to if I do say so myself. Sadly, I can't apply to anything school-related. Except apparently poetry writing.

"Who are you texting, you freak?" I heard Psycho Bitch sneer at someone. Poor fellow (or girl). I stare at my conversation with Gaara (which is now done since he decided he didn't want to talk to me anymore for some mysterious reason).

"Hello? Uzumaki, are you deaf?" Psycho Bitch called out.

I turned to look at her (she was smirking in a bitchy sort of way)…apparently she had been talking to me. Great. "What do you want, Pinkie?" I asked, already done with whatever conversation was about to ensue.

"Who were you texting, loser? Was it the one that picked a fight with Sasuke?" She demanded in some snotty, high voice that made me want to bang my head against my desk. Why does the world seem to hate me?

"Yes," I said, a yawn escaping me.

"That psycho is the only person a loser like you be friends with." Is there a reason she is talking to me? Or rather picking a fight with me? I haven't pulled any pranks on her lately…that I can recall.

"I think you might be forgetting a few. Like the one that punched your friend's face in. But okay," I say with a small grin, recalling the time when Temari punched Ino in the face. That will definitely be one of the highlights of my high school life. Temari is a total badass.

Sakura glared at me, her eyebrows (which are seriously over-plucked) scrunching together. "You are just some loser that no one likes! Clearly your parents didn't know how to raise a child properly." She snapped loudly. I think several people turned to look at us, but I'm not sure. My head was suddenly reeling. Everything she usually said just rolled off me, they were meaningless, bitchy rambling. But, I wasn't raised by my parents. How could I have been when they are dead? Iruka was amazing. He is the best parent ever. But it still hurt. It'll always hurt—to think about my real parents. Hah, she would manage to find the insult that actually affects me.

I looked at Sakura, my mind moving slowly and sluggishly. Her smirk has dissipated and her glare dimed as she took in my expression. I felt lost and detached. And achingly sad. And an anger was slowly building inside me. I hope I didn't look this pitiful on the outside.

"Sakura," a voice said lowly. Both Sakura and I looked up to see Sasuke, standing on the other side of the desk she was sitting in. "Shut the fuck up."

Everything and everyone became silent as the words left Sasuke's mouth. He stared down at her. Her expression dropped and then her eyes became wide and nervous. Her lips were now pressed tightly together after Sasuke's comment. His eyes flickered toward me and his facial expression seemed to soften. His black orbs locked with my blue ones, looking searchingly into them, for what I don't know.

Sakura reached a hand toward him and opened her mouth to say something to him, but she never got the chance. His eyes shifted back to her and they turned hard and cold. He gave her a disgusted look.

"You're annoying."

Her hand feel limply to her side and she stared in wide-eyed shock at Sasuke, her expression crushed. Everyone was quiet and looking at Sasuke in shock. Hell, I was in shock! My mouth was slack, my lips parted, as I stared at Sasuke.

Did he…? He didn't just…

He looked back at me and my stupid heart clenched. Then his lips parted. Silently, he mouthed, "Are you okay?"

Whatthefuck?NO! !Yes! ?Heroics?Whattheflyingfuck?

…why is my brain so messed up?

I stared at him. I have no idea what kind of expression I had but my mind was currently drowning in disbelief and confusion. Sasuke…cared?...maybe…what? In a sense, he kind of came to my rescue. Umm…

Maybe I read his lips wrong. I never have been good at that. I usually can't tell and the person ends up getting frustrated and giving up and either not telling me at all or just saying it out loud. Reading lips can be really difficult! I must have misinterpreted what he said. 'Are ew o'day?' maybe…it is possible…

"Okay, kiddies break it up." Everyone looked up as Kakashi walk down the aisle. "Everyone to your seat."

Everyone moved but Sasuke. He kept staring at me. I looked to the front of the classroom, hoping he'd leave but he didn't. I glanced at him once more, wondering why he wasn't moving his butt. Our eyes met and he (finally!) began to move. Maybe he was staring at my face because I had something on it…hopefully…that'd make me feel a lot better (and less torn).

I watched him as he walked back to his desk.

When the bell finally rang to signal the end of the day, I sprinted to the door and wretched it open, eager to be out of there. Because damn that was like the twilight zone. What happened in there was like mind-fuckery. Serious me. And my mind. And heart. Because I'm melting while simultaneously wanting to rip my hair out.

But if I'm going slightly nuts, then Sasuke is the most bi-polar son of a bitch to ever walk the earth. A bi-polar son of a bitch who just stood up for me…and days ago bulldozed over my feelings. Yeah. No mixed signals here…

I walked straight to Gaara's eighth period class, hoping to catch him in the halls (and mainly escape from any situations that might involve Sasuke…but it would be nice to see Gaara). And damn was I giving suburban moms a run for their money with my stellar powerwalk.

I saw Temari first. Gaara was next to her though.

"Are you okay?" was the first thing out of her mouth.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be? What a silly question. Do I not look okay?" My words came out sounding extremely loud and funny.

Temari looked at me like I was nutty. Gaara didn't look the least bit surprised by my crazy outburst. I'm not sure which I found more offensive.

"You look like you just sprinted here," She informed me.

"I did."

"Okay…why?"

"I like to run."

"What?"

"There was a bear."

"What?"

"A rabid bear."

Temari stared at me. I stared back. All in all there was a lot of staring. Sadly, when tears started to form in my eyes I was forced to blink. "Crap. You win." I admit to defeat honestly because I'm not a sore loser.

"Win? We weren't playing a game."

"We weren't?" Then what was that?

"No. I was just staring at you, wondering if you could be more of an idiot." Ouch, Temari.

"You wound me!" I gasp dramatically. But then I grinned. "Did I mention the bear was blue?"

Temari snorted and then chuckled, throwing her arm over my shoulders. We walked to our lockers to drop off our books and then made our way to the parking lot.

"So how about ditching detention today, Naruto?" Temari asked me as we exited the school.

"No way. Baa-chan will kill me." I said immediately. Please, I don't have a death wish.

"But Kankuro just brought me and Gaara something~" She cooed. I looked at her suspiciously. I think I may like where this is going. I glance at Gaara to see the corner of his lips twitch upward for a split-second. Kankuro usually brought weird puppet shit or illegal shit. And since both Temari and Gaara are smiling….

"Ah! Really?" I hollered. Temari's grin turned feral and she nodded.

"Gaara's got Shukaku," Temari whispered.

Oh, these two. Corrupting my poor innocent self.

I grinned. "Who needs to go to detention?" Not Naruto Uzumaki.

LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEE

Gaara packed it in with his thumb. His hair is sooooo red. Like really red. Fire red. When he was finished he lifted Shukaku and handed it to me. I put my lips around the end.

"Light me, baby!" I giggle, the smile that has been plastered to my face for the past half an hour widening.

Temari grins like the badass she is and rolls her thumb over the lighter. A bright flame erupts and she brings it toward the bong dangling from lips. It's so bright and pretty and alive. I stare at it transfixed as Temari angles it and lights the weed. Light me up! Yeah!

When its good, I inhale deeply, passing the roasting bong to Gaara. After holding it in, I slowly exhale, a puff of smoke coming out of my lungs. Ah, it smells so awful. Gaara finishes inhaling and gives it to Temari.

Gosh, there is probably some shitty, stupid looking grin on my face right now but I don't even care. I'm not worried about anything. That stuff with Sasuke is out of my mind, everything bad is.

"Fuck I feel good," I say, almost sighing. Temari laughs and passes it back to me.

As I inhale again, I glance at Gaara who is looking stoned as anyone could possibly ever look. He looks so calm and relaxed, his expression hazy, his eyes unfocused and bloodshot.

We pass it around in the circle several more times before finally packing stuff away. And I feel as high as an awesomely orange kite. We are right next to the back parking lot. Most everyone from school has left so there really isn't any need to worry about getting caught.

"Race you to the car!" I say excitedly, my eyes darting toward the front lot which is a bit of a ways away. Everything is so bright and better looking. The cars shine shinierish. The asphalt looks darker. The blue sky looks more skyish, like an ocean.

"Come on, come on!" I urge them. I will blow them away. I have so much energy right now. I look at Gaara who looks like he doesn't want to move for the next four hundred years. Temari looks like Temari. Except more badass. With bloodshot eyes. And a silly smile. And blonde hair. Haha so blonde. It looks blonderer...er.

"Wait, we still have to grab Gaara's art project from the art room." Temari says. Psh, excuses, excuses.

"Okay…okay, fine, fine," I agree. "I'll meet you there!" I shout as I take off. Hah, I'd totally beat them.

I sprint through the back parking lot. I'm so fast. Like the wind. And everything seems to be moving past me slower than usual. I close my eyes for a second and breathe in. Then I reopen them and keep sprinting like a madman to the front lot. By the time I reach the front lot I am huffing and puffing (haha! Like the big bad wolf!).

As I survey the cars that are left in the lot, I realize I have no idea which row Temari's car is in. Crap…oh well, minor setback.

I head down the main row which is directly in front of the doors. As I get half way down it I see a familiar car. It is black and sleek and begging to be keyed.

"Uchiha" I read to myself out loud. Ah, Sasuke.

I stand there in the middle of the road, one arm crossed across my chest, the other arm came up and my hand cupped my chin. I stared long and hard at the car.

"Ugh I want to lay down," I announce as the urge strikes me. I lay down flat on my back and look at the sky. I stare at the vivid image of the blue sky and the white clouds. Because I'm high its excusable if I do that. The sky is just so bright and beautiful.

Sometime later (I'm really not much sure how much later), I hear, "Uzumaki". My head lulls to the side and I see Suigetsu standing a few feet away from me.

"Sasuke's crony, I hail thee," I say as I do the best salute I can while on the ground.

"…what are you doing?" He asks, looking at me strangely.

"Cloud watching. Would you like to join me?" I ask because I'm feeling like a pretty nice person at the moment. I'm feeling light, and calm, and a bit giddy, and pretty darn kind.

"Uh, I'm good," He says uncertainly.

"I'm good too." I sigh. Because if he's good, I'm definitely good too.

"Are you…high?" He asks loudly and stupidly as if it suddenly hit him. Not the most observant fellow is he.

"Yes, as high as an orange kite," I respond cheerfully. Everyone knows that orange kites are better than any other kites. Gaara doesn't like kites though. Once, he burned mine.

"Oh my god," He says, looking and sounding quite surprised.

"He's my god too," I inform him. Wait, I think I might be atheist…

"Haha, hell. So did you just get high here all by yourself?" He sounded like he was trying to mock me. If he mocks me I think I might key Sasuke's car. Surely that action would have some negative consequences for Suigetsu. After all, Sasuke's a prissy drama queen about his car so he'd probably throw a hissy fit and drag Suigetsu and Neji into it. After all, Sasuke blew a gasket when I threw a pebble at his car…okay, maybe it was a little bit bigger than a pebble but still.

"Nope, Temari and Gaara are dancing around somewhere." Hah, Gaara dancing. Hahahaha! The hilarity!

I watch Suigetsu as he casts a nervous glance around. I bet he's scared of Gaara. That's funny. I chuckle to myself and Suigetsu sends me another look that tells me he is thoroughly enjoying my condition. Oh Suigetsu….suigey…getsu…getty…I wonder if he has a nickname.

I watch as he pulls out his phone and does something on it. He probably texted someone . My phone is in way worse shape than his, and I don't just mean that my phone is fifty bazillion years old and his is new. I mean mine is cracked and all dinged up. I wonder if Suigetsu would notice if I stole his phone…bad Naruto! I can't be thinking of vandalism! I'm not a thief. Well, in seventh grade I stole a bunch of porno magazines from some adult store in town but then Gaara found out and smack me really hard in the back of the head and then confiscated them. I bet he still has them! He's probably been looking at them since seventh grade. Gaara…he has to be a closet pervert. Hmm, it's always the people you'd never expect. Maybe Suigetsu is one? I cast a suspicious glance at him. He gives me a look that questions my sanity when he catches my glance. Oh Suigetsu…Suigey…

"Hey, Suigetsu, you got a nickname?" I ask him. He looks up at me confusion and amusement on his face.

"Um, no. Why?" He seems thoroughly entertained. I always knew I was an entertaining fellow. He smiles, showing his sharp teeth. His teeth freak me the fuck out.

"I want to give you one. Hm, Getsu…Getty…pointy teeth," I muse to myself. Suigetsu snaps out an annoyed "hey!" when I say pointy teeth, which makes me want to use that one even more. I look at him. "Oh, what about whitey. You know, because of your hair?" I ask him. I think it's a pretty good one.

"You little…" Suigetsu trials off, his voice strained and angry.

"Yes, dearest Suigetsu?" I ask because I know I'm annoying him so much right now. It just eggs me on. Is that bad?...nah. Irritating people makes life so much more interesting.

"You are so lucky Sasuke likes you so much," He mutters agitatedly. My ears perk up.

"Huh?" I say dumbly. He stares at me.

"Honestly, he even got over his jealousy about the whole Gaara thing." Suigetsu mumbles more to himself than to me. Wait, what? What Gaara thing? Jealousy? Who? Where? When? …what is he talking about?

Then I spot two people exiting the building from the front door. I jump up from my spot on the ground, startling Suigetsu.

"Gaara! Temari!" I yell across the parking lot as I wave wildly to them. Then I decide that my waving is too rambunctious for the school setting so I pause, collect myself, and then princess wave (you know, that weird little wave thing where you cup your hand and slowly but elegantly wave it). Suigetsu snorts beside me, and even from this distance I can tell Gaara is fighting a small smile.

When they reach us, Gaara eyes Suigetsu while Temari only spares him a passing glance. Under Gaara's arm is a large folder containing his project. Gaara is actually pretty wicked when it comes to art. Most of it is pretty morbid and personally I prefer orange to black and red but it's still really good.

"Ugh, Gaara took freaking forever to find his stupid art folder!" Temari griped. Gaara looked away from Suigetsu to glare at Temari, though his bloodshot eyes detracted a little from the menace (he looked more like he was squinting because he had something in his eyes).

Temari blew a big bubble with her gum (she usually chews it to get rid of the taste from smoking). Then she launched into the story about Gaara's taking forever but I tuned her out when I noticed another figure emerge from school. My heart pitter pattered. He looks so vivid and perrrty when I'm high. Oh, that sounds so bad.

He looks up and he sees me staring at him (well…shit). His eyes stay locked on mine. Sasuke. That's about all my mind is registering. Hehe, SasGAY…

"Hey!" Someone shouts and suddenly two hands are one my shoulder shaking me. I focus on the person in front of me and see an irate Temari. "Were you even listening?" She demands.

I laugh nervously. "Hahaha, well you see I…" I trail unsure of how to continue. Temari taps her foot and stares me down. "You what?" She asks.

"I…well…I was looking over there for a second so I got distracted and then-" I was cut off as Temari spit her gum. I saw it leave her mouth and the next thing I knew it was in my throat.

She. Spit. Her. Gum. In. My. Mouth.

…..

Fucking shit! EW!

I start coughing and quickly hack it up and spit it out of my mouth.

"Ew! Fuck! Gross! Fuck!" I shout at the top of my lungs. SO fucking gross! Shit who the hell does something like that. I give Temari the bird as I bend over and spit on the asphalt. That was disgusting.

I grab my throat and mimic choking because damn I'm feeling pretty grossed out so naturally I pretend to be choking on the gum that's already out of my mouth. Temari dies of laughter and then leans forward until her face is in front of mine.

"Don't worry, sugar. I know CPR!" She coos delightedly, an evil smile on her face. Then I really do choke (on my spit that is). She leans in going for a kiss. Her lips barely brush mine before I jerk away violently.

"AH! NO! EW! FUCKING EW! GROSS!" I cry loudly, my hands wrapping around my throat and a hot blush spreading across my face. I hear her hyena laughs (and snorts because she's laughing really hard now) and glare at her.

"Ew! Cooties! You…you…my poor innocence!" I wail loudly. Temari leans forward as she dies of laughter; even Gaara is sporting a small grin. Suigetsu is laughing loudly too.

Then I meet Sasuke's eyes and I remember he's here. And now he's only a few feet away. I cease in my writhing and fake choking. I pale. Because I'm completely mortified. Then blush furiously, ten times worse than I was before. Because I'm completely mortified. Because Sasuke Fucking Uchiha just saw me act like a five year old mentally insane person.

I didn't look at him long enough to see his reaction because I turned around power walked to the next aisle. (no, I don't know even remotely where I'm going). Temari and Gaara quickly catch up to me.

"Well, that was embarrassing. For you." Temari says slowly. I can't even muster a glare because she is so very right. Fuuuck.

I wonder if Iruka will get ramen for dinner?

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEE

Good news: Iruka ordered ramen for dinner last night and it was delicious!

Bad news: Iruka is making me have Sasuke over for the tutoring session on Thursday. Which sucks balls. It'll be totally awkward for many, many reasons- the least of which being the fact that I have skipped the last few tutoring sessions.

I had no idea how I was going to do it. Because I had been avoiding him. Was I just supposed to walk up to him after all that effort and just be like 'hey so you want to come over tomorrow for tutoring? Iruka bakes a mean apple pie'….yeah that wouldn't work.

The school day was long and tortuous. By the time gym class rolled around it felt like I'd been in school for like twenty hours.

As I mosey on over to the locker rooms for gym class I see Sasuke leaning against the wall just outside the entrance. Ah, jeez fuck. Just act normal, Naruto. No not normal, like a badass. Because Naruto Uzumaki is a fucking badass. One more glance at him and I'm shaking in my bright orange Nikes. I walk closer to him nervously. I don't know if I'm ready to talk him yet. Can we talk never? That sounds like a good plan.

His eyes find mine after I step closer. Is it too late to yell "fire" and run for it?

"Naru-"

"Don't. I don't want to talk to you." I say because I really can't talk to him right now. I'm so mixed up when it comes to him I don't know which way is up. Actually, I so screwy I'm surprised I even have the ability to find words.

"Fuck. Just-" He tries again sounding more agitated.

"No! No. You think of me as some fucking plaything, Sasuke. I'm done….Everything's a mess." I try holding back my emotions because I'm not some girl but I find myself losing this battle. My anger and sadness seep through the cracks.

Sasuke is suddenly right in front of me. He grabs my forearms tightly and looks into my eyes. "You aren't a goddamned toy! You never were! Haven't I made that obvious?!" His eyes are narrowed and he looks frustrated, angry, helpless. Well…that's new.

But now I'm on a roll. "Hah! Are you shitting me?" I can hear my voice rise, not just in volume but in octaves. I sound like Kiba when he went through puberty. It isn't very attractive. "Like when you made it very clear that I was nothing to you but something to amuse you when you are bored. Like all the concern you showed for me. You know what, fuck you." FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU!

Sasuke steps closer to me. My words seemed to have drain the anger from him. Now he is just frowning sadly. "I'm sorry about what I said. I wasn't thinking straight. I was just…" His voice is quiet, softer than normal.

"Just what?!" I snap with more anger than I actually feel. His grip tightens on my arms, but not to the point where it's painful. It's like he's trying to keep me here, even though I'm not making any move to leave.

"You wouldn't understand," He says, an almost undetectable hint of sadness in it and definite anger, oh yeah there's definitely anger.

"Try me," my voice is surprisingly even (I can be so mature sometimes, I surprise even myself).

He looks into my eyes, and god I'm a fucking cornball because I melt and lean closer to him.

"I hate being second!" He says quietly, but I'd have to be deaf not to hear the obvious depths of venom in his voice.

"What?" He just lost me.

Sasuke looks away. "Nothing," He mutters sounded like a sulky child all of a sudden (which is fucking annoying and pisses me off). If he isn't going to do his part, then fuck all if I'm doing mine. I don't care if it's childish, I turn my head away from and look unseeingly down the empty hall. Goodbye new-found maturity. It's overrated anyways.

"It tried calling you," He says after a beat of silence.

"I know," I say because I don't know what else too. And his hands are still on me which I find very distracting.

"I…I'm sorry I made you sad." Sasuke says. I turn my head to look at him but I'm suddenly pulled into a hug. My face is pushed into his chest and my arms are stuck to my sides as his wrap tightly around my body. It's kind of awkward with the way my body is positioned. And it's warm. I open my mouth to say something but I was caught so off guard by the hug that I can't think straight.

I want to melt in his arms. Sasuke is being so gentle and kind and I just want let him hold me, maybe kiss me a little while he's at it. I like kissing. But…

I pull away from him. At first his arms lock up, not letting me leave his embrace but then they fall to his sides. I take a few steps back.

"We should get to class." I say simply because everything is working out so perfectly and that is freaking me out. I can't do this right now. I need to figure this out. Maybe I should call my desire to get away from him and thus go to class maturity…yeah, that sounds good. I'm doing this all out of maturity. I turn away from him and toward the locker room door.

Then I remember the steaming pool of anger that is currently Gaara (as far as Sasuke is concerned). I lock up. "Please don't mess with Gaara," I tell him. The last thing I need is for Sasuke walking near Gaara and Gaara getting all violent. Again.

"Hah. Of course," Sasuke says bitterly. Then I hear a loud slap. I turn back around and see Sasuke has turned and slammed one of his palms against the wall. I look at him in shock. Finally he meets my gaze and he looks pissed.

"Dammit. Why him?" He snaps at me. It isn't the question but then tone that sets me off. Because nobody likes to be snapped at. And I don't even know what he means by his question so all I have is the tone.

"What are you talking about? Just leave Gaara out of this. He was protecting me." I grit out. My anger is rising and I have no idea why. Hell, I don't even know why he's mad, but I sure as hell know that he's making me mad.

"He wasn't involved!" Sasuke snarls.

"He was standing up for me because he's my best friend. Because you hurt me." I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air in anger.

Sasuke brings one hand to his face. His shoulders sag. He stays still for several moments. When his hand drops he doesn't look angry, just frustrated.

"I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as I need to. Just why…why do I have to always come in second?"

"I don't know why you keep talking about second place!" I explode at him. "I don't know who the fuck you are coming in second to!"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Naruto?!" He snarls. I take note that he says my name. It's usually dobe. Or something else insulting my intelligence.

"No, no I'm not kidding. Do I look like I'm kidding? Don't answer that. I'm not. God, you are insufferable." I yell at him. Then I turn away from him and stomp down the hall, past the locker room door. I'm not fucking going to gym if he's there. Hell, I'm reconsidering my living condiions right now. Maybe I'll move to Siberia! I don't even know where that is! But I'll go there is the teme isn't there!

"Don't walk away from me again!" Sasuke yells at me, his voice echoing down the hall.

"I'll walk wherever the fuck I want to! I'll walk away from you, toward you, to fricken side of you if I want! Don't tell me what to do!"

I stomp down the hallway, curses and grumbles spilling from my lips. When I finally reach an empty staircase, I plop down on a step. That could have gone a lot better. Did my parting speech even make sense? I don't really think it did now that I'm thinking about it. Anyways, what the hell is talking about when he says second? Is someone competing? Are we competing? If we are then does that mean I'm in first?

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEE

After-school detention was bundles of fun—not. I sorted paper work for the old hag while she chugged alcohol. When I say chugged I mean chugged, like a fish with water. It was honestly kind of amazing to watch.

When Tsunade gave the a-okay for me to leave (her face flushed and her speech slightly slurred) I was out of there faster than Hinata could stutter (…yikes that was a little mean…I'll pray later…then again I don't really pray). It's always kind of creepy walking down the halls when next to no one else is still here. It reminds me of a vacant street alley in the city. Which reminds me of gangs. Which reminds me of the mafia. Which reminds me of the Godfather. Which leads me to practicing lines as I stroll down the alley.

"I'll give him an offer," I said before stopping and clearing my throat.

"I'll give him an offer," fuck no that is not deep enough.

"I'll give," No! I am not getting the gravely tone that the dude has. I scowl.

"I'll-Fuck!" Why is my voice not naturally deeper?! If I had the teme's deep voice (though his isn't that much deeper than mine) I would be rocking these lines. He has a nice voice. Stupid lucky prick.

"Ahem," I clear my throat as I reach the front doors and pull them open. "I'll make him an offer, he can't refuse." That one was pretty good! Something is still missing though.

I think Gaara'd look pretty adorable in a mobster outfit. Shikamaru could pull it off. Kiba…haha not in a million years. Sasuke would look mouthwatering…I'd shoot him.

"Dickless!"

My blood froze and I'm pretty sure my entire brain stopped functioning for a good five seconds. I looked from the front steps towards the car idling on the other side of the wide sidewalk.

Because my day just couldn't get any shittier.

And gosh darn it, I have a dick!

Something in me fucking snapped.

Suddenly pissed beyond all get out I marched up to Sai's car. As I get closer, he slides out of the driver's spot. The car door closing behind him seemed extremely loud as I stopped in front of the car. He came around slowly and I came up with a game plan. Cuss Sai out. Punch Sai. Kick Sai. Intimidate him so much he never shows his face again. Run away.

"So, Dickless where's your new boyfriend?" He asked casually. I think I might jump straight to the punching because Sasuke is NOT my boyfriend. No, in fact, I think I was severely rejected when I even hedged at the notion around Sasuke . Fuck Sasuke. Fuck Sai for bringing up that ice bastard.

"He's not my boyfriend. Now what the fuck do you want?" Don't you have children to go steal candy from? No? Some elderly folks to push over? Some endangered species to wipe off the face of the Earth?

Sai's fake (grotesquely fake!) smile tightened. "How rude, you are now Naru-kun." He said in a sugary tone which was totally false sense I was getting a you-annoy-the-fuck-outta-me vibe from him.

"Naruto," A serious voice I would recognize anywhere said. I turned my head to see a person now standing by my side. A brilliant smile automatically stretched across my face.

It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Gaara!

His eyes locked with mine and then he turned to give Sai an icy glare. Where did Gaara even come from? Hmm…and why was he still at school? Eh, it's not that important.

"Looking particularly intimidating today, aren't we Red," Sai drawled as he looked at Gaara. Gaara tenses up. He absolutely hates the nickname Sai came up for him. Then his eyes shifted back to me, "As I was-".

"Look Sai, I honestly don't care." I said, finding words that had been escaping me for long. "I don't like you, not even as a person. And I know you don't like me as a person either. You think it's entertaining to tease me when you have free time, but I won't let you anymore. There is nothing between us anymore, whatever there was all that time ago died way back. Stop wasting both of our time and leave me alone. I'm serious." …is it weird that I'm impressed by how that turned out? Damn, I sounded so mature. Iruka would be squealing in delight if he could hear me now!

Sai was quiet for a few long moments, probably basking in the mature glory that was my speech. It was a lot to take in after all. "Damn…you are acting so tough now Naruto. Has Red here been rubbing off on ya? I mean I remember when you were some scarred little shi-" He cut off as my fist hurtled toward his face. With lightening quick reflexes that totally caught me off guard since Sai is a skinny, artsy fartsy druggie who looks like he's never seen the inside of a gym, he grabbed my fist.

"Tsk, tsk. Temper, Dick-" His annoying talking died with a swift kick to the balls with all my strength. With a pained shout, Sai grabbed his privates. My own manly parts winced in sympathy. Ouch. That was low I admit. My dick hurts just thinking about what I did to Sai. BUT! I needed to be done.

"Nice," Gaara said in a monotone voice next to me.

"Thanks," I replied. We both stared at Sai.

After a while he began to straighten up. However just as he straightened up completely, Gaara's fist crushed into the dead center of his face. I watched wide-eyed and gaping as Sai went flying backward. His body crumpled to the ground and he lay there out cold.

Well.

I stared, trying to find it in me to feel the slightest bit bad. Yeah, nothing was happening.

"Do you think that was a little much?" I asked as I looked at Gaara. He stared back at me blankly.

"Nah, never mind. Stupid question." I said with a smile. That was most definitely not too much.

"Let's go," Gaara said. He walks over Sai, stepping on his stomach in the process. I can't suppress the chuckle that escapes me. He did it so casually.

Gaara looks back at me with an apathetic yet dangerous expression. "He called me Red," was all he said before turning around and continuing on his way.

LLLLIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE

I can't believe Gaara didn't let me draw on Sai's face in sharpie. It was a fricken perfect opportunity! I mean when will I ever get that chance again. I'll tell you when. Never! Gosh! Gaara…being such a daisy downer. I only wanted to draw a hitler moustache on him. And give him a pirate patch and a unibrow. And a big mole on his cheek. And write "I have chlamydia" on his forehead. No big deal.

But no Gaara just had to go and be the fun Nazi.

"Naruto, earth to Naruto," Iruka called from across the kitchen table.

"Ah, sorry Iruka!"

"How was your day at school?" Iruka asked conversationally.

"It was good!" It sucked balls.

"Did all your classes go well?"

"Of course!"…not.

"Did you talk to that boy Sasuke that tutors you?"

….

"Yup, of course."

…

Tomorrow. I'll tell him tomorrow….or maybe I'll tell him on Thursday. Yeah, then I'll just surprise him with it. Guess what teme? Can't guess? Well, you know how I've been ditching those tutoring sessions? And how we aren't really talking? Well today you have to come to my house after school and tutor me so that Iruka can see I'm…as Iruka put it "not playing around". Oh Iruka, he was probably picturing 'playing' as some type of videogame. Little did he know, we were sticking our tongues down each other's throats. After all, Sasuke had specifically told me I was not allowed to touch anything expensive or technology-ish in his house after the incident where I locked his phone. And the TV and videogame console counted as both those things. Stupid fun killing teme.

Adíos, Sai. Hello, Sasuke who is trying to express his feelings but is still emotionally constipated. Anyone have some insight at to why Sasuke is getting his undies in a bundle about always being second? Hint: It's not just the Gaara jealousy thing, it's something seriously deep-seated. Review please. It makes me a very happy camper. And I promise to update faster if ya do.