A/N: This will be a tough chapter for everyone who can't stand Temari. In that case, I recommend reading at least the last paragraph as this one is rather important.

Also, many thanks to laughingstick. You found all the things I hid, hoping they could be found. I loved your review.

Chapter Seven

It wasn't that Hidden Sand had had fewer genin teams than Hidden Leaf that had made Gaara, Temari and Kankurou form up into one team despite their age differences. There had been many factors, instead, that had led to them training under one sensei: their family background, for once. Gaara's position as bearer of Shukaku and perhaps also the fact that, at that time already, Orochimaru had begun to pull strings behind the scenes and the Kazekage's back which had ultimately led to him killing Temari's father. Most likely it had been all those reasons, too, and a few more, that had always set the siblings aside from the other genin teams. In hindsight it would have been difficult for them to decide which generation of genin they would have wanted to associate with more: the ones of Kankurou's age, of Temari's, or even the ones from Gaara's Academy days. Not that anyone wanted anything to do with them as soon as Gaara had been assigned to their team, of course. It resulted in them being set apart from the rest of their generation's genin for great parts of their childhood, with them belonging into neither group or generation. And for long stretches of her life that had been alright with Temari.

But talking to Kankurou wasn't the same as talking to someone she actually didn't consider her friend because he happened to be her bother.

After the chuunin trials – after Gaara had rid himself of his mantle of hate, after Temari and Kankurou realized they weren't only at his side because they were to make sure he didn't accidentally (or not so much) kill someone, after Naruto happened, actually – the village changed. And people changed, too, and Temari found herself in her home but it suddenly felt like far more. It felt like she should be able to contribute, to mold and change and help to change. The sense of purpose each single Suna nin suddenly seemed to feel either came from Gaara or was the result of their determination to not let something like Orochimaru happen again. It was during that time – Kankurou and Temari were at Gaara's side almost every day, helping him with paperwork, backing him up when he faced the Council while simultaneously trying to teach themselves the necessary knowledge to stand behind the Kazekage – that she found friends outside her family, and she never regretted it.

"You're late!" Mika and Hana chorused. Temari rounded the corner between kitchen and living-room in time to see Sarai burst in through the door, slightly out of breath. She'd been running for quite some time, then.

"Sorry," the tall woman panted and took a few deep, calming breaths. "I had to run a last errand for the restaurant. But I brought something!"

Triumphant, she unearthed a few take-out boxes from her bag. Matsuri grabbed one and glanced inside. "Oh, I love these!"

"Temari," Sarai said, dropping her bag to the floor and coming over to hug her. "It's good to have you back! I'm sorry I couldn't see you earlier. Did you survive the leaf sticks?"

"It's not nice to call them that," Matsuri protested while Temari merely laughed and returned the hug.

"They call us sand eaters, you know."

Sarai loosened the hug but instead held Temari at arm's length and regarded her critically. Her watchful gaze immediately focused on the rings under Temari's eyes and the strain in her smile and her eyes shrunk to slits. But she didn't say anything. Yet, Temari had to remind herself. Sarai surely would interrogate her later. For now, she was glad her best friend dropped the topic.

Sarai was loud and obnoxious, a little bit like Temari. More often than not people underestimated her ability of observation. She was the first friend Temari had ever had, walking up on her one day after a meeting, just beginning to talk, and she hadn't really stopped since then. Later, Mika and Hanatsuki joined their small circle, two girls like fire and ice. There were few things they had in common and yet they seemed to belong with each other in a way that was almost scary, twins in everything but DNA. They were Temari's most treasured friends, especially since she had realized that she tended to get along far better with men than with women. The last one to complete their circle, a few years later and as a quite direct result of Gaara's capture and reinstatement as Kazekage, was Matsuri. Temari wasn't sure whether it was that the girl hadn't had many friends before or that she just didn't mind being around shinobi that were marginally older than she was. Knowing Matsuri, it probably was neither. The girl was shy and sometimes too introverted but once out of her shell she had become an integral part of their group. And she seldom had her own agenda. If Temari would have to name someone who was completely loyal to a fault she'd pick Matsuri – right along with Naruto, that idiot, and her brothers.

She had a short respite from her best friend's inquisition until after the movie.

"So," Sarai asked, leaning back casually into the mountain of pillows they had created on the ground. "How is it going with Shadow Boy?" From the looks Hana, Matsuri and Mika gave her, Temari knew they at least knew part of the story. It made her wonder. How much did they know, and who had told them? Or was she that transparent?

"Why?" She asked, finally.

"You're unhappy, Temari," Hana said softly. "We can see it."

Transparent after all. She didn't like to be predictable. "It's over," she said and this time her voice remained steady. "I broke up with Shikamaru."

"Thought something like that," Mika grumbled. "Why?" Matsuri asked, her eyes wide, while Sarai sighed and Hana just glanced at her with sympathetic eyes.

"I don't know." It was the first time Temari said it out loud. She shrugged and felt tears burn behind her eyes. The first time to cry, then, too? Angrily, she bit her lips. "We were fine. But we only saw each other during holidays, on missions or at the weekend. We talked about the future so much but we always knew there would be the problem of one of us leaving his home town. And Shikamaru wouldn't leave Leaf and I wouldn't leave Gaara and Sand, so we just kept pushing the problem aside. We kept pushing and pushing until I was going to explode and I told him I couldn't stand it any longer and left. And now I'm wondering whether I did the right thing or not although I know it was the logical thing to do but…" She bit her lips, again, her vision blurring and her chest aching from the effort of holding back her tears.

"I miss him." She choked on the last words.

Matsuri scooted closer and wrapped an arm around Temari's shoulders. "Ssshh," she whispered. "It will be fine."

"You sure?" Temari glanced up and tried a smile that failed spectacularly. "Because it doesn't feel like that."

"And it won't, not for a long time," Hana confirmed. "We know you're not the one to make hasty decisions when it comes to important things, Temari. If this is what you think you need to do, then it is the right thing."

"Did you talk to him?" Mika asked, frowning. "Because maybe he would have left Konoha, maybe there could have been a solution-"

"I talked to him," Temari smiled watery, "But you know him."

"Bastard!" The word broke out of Sarai like an arrow from a crossbow. "How dare he – I bet it was because of that bitch you told us about, Temari, just friends my ass-"

"She had nothing to do with it," Temari said. "Or, at least, she wasn't the main reason. She never made a move on Shikamaru and I doubt he was ever tempted. It was just that… I don't know." She sighed, trying to lessen the pain in her chest and finding it impossible. "It just was over. There was no future for us, not like that."

"But you still love him," Mika queried and it sounded more like a fact that a question. "Do you?"

Temari chose not to answer.

"Somehow I feel sorry for him," Sarai mused. "He seemed pretty into you. And you've kept up a long-distance relationship up for almost five years, right?"

"Sorry for him?" Matsuri echoed, disbelieving. "Because he got dumped? I hope you feel sorry for Temari, too, because dumping someone isn't all flowers and get-over-it-quickly, either!"

"Of course not." Sarai looked sorry. "But he must feel pretty down, too."

Pretty down. Temari felt like shit. She suspected Shikamaru felt the same. The fact that they had no future didn't mean they hadn't had a great time together. She drew up her knees to her chin and put her head on them. Matsuri, Mika, Hana and Sarai got the message and left her to herself, discussing quietly, until Mika went to fetch a bottle of mescal and five shot glasses and the evening went down in a haze of voices and alcohol. It was the first time in her life Temari got fully and hopelessly drunk.

…

Her fifth summer in Hidden Leaf was dry and warm, like the ones she has experienced before. It was the closest thing to Sand's weather there was in the village Temari had somehow come to look at as her second home. The sun was warm on her skin and for the first time in her life she wished it had rained. Rain, storm, snow, whatever, not the beauty of the summer forest and the warmth of the sun to go with the memory of the words she said.

She had picked the worst time and place, she realized later.

The blue sky was endless, small clouds sprinkled over it like powder sugar. They were lying on the ground, their shoulders touching. Shikamaru was looking into the sky and Temari had been thinking. After some time she sat up and looked at him: he was handsome, in a way: defined lines, dark eyes and dark hair. Differently to lovers that saw each other day by day she had watched him change over the years – tiny, fractional changes in his eyes and around his lips. She knew some of these changes were due to her and she loved him for it. Shikamaru didn't react although he had to know she was looking at him until she opened her mouth and closed it again.

"What is it?" His voice sounded half-amused, half-questioning, and something sparked in his eyes. It was the love he felt for her that she could see – and the knowledge that some things just didn't last forever – that made her choke on the words. But she knew if she wouldn't say them then she never would, and they would fall apart.

"You what?" Shikamaru suddenly shot up from the ground. He balanced on his elbows, staring at her as if he had seen a ghost. Temari suspected she did not look better.

There was no way to say this nicely. "I'm breaking up with you."