A/N: Thank you to everyone who has been with me so far. I really, really appreciate your patience. It should pick up a bit from here on, we're getting into the last third of the plot. And thanks to laughingstick, again :)

Chapter Nine

The day she broke up with Shikamaru, Temari returned to the Bed and Breakfast she had stayed in the first night she had been in Hidden Leaf as Suna's diplomat. Her official work would last for four more days, probably, and she couldn't just drop everything and leave. But at night the familiar and strange (different) room was stuffy and the walls felt like they were closing in on her. In the morning she was tired and pale and different Konoha nin worriedly asked her whether she was feeling well. Temari tried to smile and nodded, mumbling assurances. She didn't meet Shikamaru a lot and when they did he was formal and polite, but never more. At least he could hold himself in check because she wasn't sure she'd be able to. She felt like screaming at him to do something, anything- and at the same time she was praying for him to not mention anything again. The days stretched like honey, sticky with heat and restlessness and doubt. She had never wanted to go back home so badly.

On her last night in Leaf, fleeing another sleepless night, wandering thoughts and too-warm sheets, Temari left the house and wandered Leaf's streets until she came to a small bridge across the Nagano. The river was comparatively large, flowing through the outskirts of the village. This was a small side arm, barely wide enough to act as excuse for building a bridge. On the stone wall that acted as a railing sat a dark figure. Temari started to turn away, not wanting to meet anyone tonight, and then caught the flash of a silvery reflection. Moonlight scattered on Ino's hair as she sat there, facing the river. She turned when Temari stepped up next to her: her face, in the light of the night, was sharp and pale.

"Hey."

Temari leaned over the railing, propped her elbows onto the wall and stared into the dark water. "Hey."

She hadn't met Ino and Chouji this time, only talked to Sakura on one occasion. Tenten and her two guys were out of town and it seemed like Hinata had taken on more responsibility in her clan, whatever that meant. It was strange, walking through the streets and recognizing shinobi: Kakashi-san, for example, or the long-haired jounin who had overseen the chuunin exams so many years ago. But there were more people, people she didn't know who still smiled at her when she crossed the street and passed them, people who might not know her personally but recognized the symbol on her head band and knew she was an ally. People who had accepted and even welcomed her into their village. And, of course, people who knew she was Shikamaru's girlfriend. What, she wondered, where the people thinking? When she had met Sakura the medic nin had told her to say hello to Shikamaru. Temari hoped the pink-haired shinobi hadn't noticed her obvious loss for words. Nobody seemed to behave differently towards her, what made her surmise that Shikamaru hadn't told anyone they had broken up, either. He, too, was trying to endure the affair with dignity: he hadn't once followed her or tried to persuade her to change her mind. As much as she had wished he would do so – if only to show that he fucking cared – she also hoped he wouldn't. For both their sakes.

Still, at one point they would have to tell them and it was promising to turn into one huge embarrassment fest. Temari was currently praying she would be far away and long gone when Shikamaru decided to drop the news. She felt bad about it, but… Well. She would have to tell her family and her friends in Suna, after all.

"Are you alright?" Ino asked quietly and catapulted her back into reality. Without wanting to, Temari shook her head. "No."

"Hmm." Ino seemed to be willing to drop the topic while, at the same time, waiting for her to answer. As if she was giving Temari the opportunity to back out again without saying anything – and yet, the offer stood. Temari wasn't sure whether to be grateful or angry: Ino, after all, was a reason why she had broken up with Shikamaru – albeit not being an integral, sensible one.

"Have you ever," she found herself asking, "Thought of going out with Shikamaru?" The tone of her voice surprised her. She had spoken sharper than she had intended to. It was not that easy: this was Ino. Ino lived in Hidden Leaf. Ino saw Shikamaru every day - or could see him, if she wanted to. Ino had known Shikamaru for her entire life. The boy Shikamaru, lazy and awkward. The teenage Shikamaru, his feigned boredom not hiding the bright flame, the one who had fought in the chuunin trials and defeated Temari, the one who had led the team to retrieve Sasuke. Ino knew the Shikamaru he had been before they had lost their teacher. Ino knew a Shikamaru Temari never would know - but Temari, too, knew a man Ino couldn't know. It wasn't much, but it was a little bit.

Surprise showed on the other woman's face for the fraction of a second, something that proved how much the question had rattled her.

"It would be pointless," Ino said after a short pause, not denying anything but not answering the question that, as both of them knew, really had been hidden in the words. Did it mean something? Why didn't she just straight out deny everything? It made Temari angry, the way she just couldn't understand Ino. No. That was a lie. She could understand Ino so well it hurt. It hurt so much she could have screamed with every fiber of her being but that would not change anything. From the way Ino smiled, she knew what Temari felt. She understood. "We've known each other for so long. If he had any interest in me he would have shown it long ago." Both of them were aware her answer hadn't been the answer Temari had demanded but it was the truth. Strange how people could conceal so much by talking. She guessed the same was true for the opposite: so much could be revealed by what people didn't say.

"Aren't you lonely?"

At that, Ino gave a dry laugh. "I hardly could be, couldn't I?"

And that, Temari figured, was the question. "I broke up with Shikamaru."

Ino stilled.

Even the wind in the trees seemed to hold its breath while the soft sound of the river continued on. Her face didn't show anything. It was irritating, really, how this woman managed to conceal everything behind a mask that looked like a person. So much the opposite of her, who, as she knew, wore every sentiment of hers on her face.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I don't know," Temari said. "I don't know anything, at this moment. Or: I know quite well why I did it but I don't know whether it was the right thing to do. I just felt it couldn't go on like this." She glanced up into the sky: the moon hung low, surrounded by clouds. Shikamaru would have appreciated the sight. "Shikamaru knew, too. He didn't put much effort into trying to stop me."

Ino remained silent.

"I wondered about you, sometimes," Temari continued. "You're good at hiding it but sometimes you look at him as if you love him and, at the same time, as if you know you'll never have him. Do you love him? Or are you just clinging to him because he's your childhood friend?"

Ino's face seemed to close even more. "You shouldn't have done this. Break up with him, I mean. He really loves you."

Temari turned towards her, incensed. "And I love him. And don't you dare tell me what I should and shouldn't have done. At least I have good reasons for breaking up with him. You have no reason for not being with him, never had an excuse."

"You don't know anything about me." Ino's voice was slowly dying down to a whisper. Suddenly Temari felt very, very tired.

"No, of course not. I'm just saying." And then she stopped, because what did she want to say? "I sometimes got the feeling he was mine only as long as you did not decide you wanted him," she heard herself, as if from a long distance. "And I don't know why you never did."

She heard Ino draw in a deep breath.

"I really don't know anything about you," Temari repeated. "But I think…" She hesitated, looked at Ino's impassive face. As it was, this woman probably could rival Shikamaru at his finest blandness. It had wondered her before: from what she remembered, Ino always had been a very lively person, outgoing and extroverted. What had happened? "I always thought we could get along well."

At that Ino smiled, like a crack in a frozen window, a smile as sharp and brittle as glass. But not unfriendly or hostile. "You break up with Shikamaru, tell me I am in love with him and want to be my friend?"

"Sounds weird, doesn't it." Temari shrugged. "Maybe not right now. Right now I'm not quite sure how much of a role you played in ending this thing people called my love life" – She laughed dryly – "for the past five years. Right now I want to go back to Suna and not return for some time. But someday? Perhaps." She risked a short smile. "We could probably annoy Shikamaru to no ends."

The other woman did not answer to that. For a while they just stayed there, gazing into the darkness and listening to the river. It was a pretty sound. So soothing. Maybe she would be able to fall asleep now. Temari sighed.

"I have to get at least three hours of sleep before I leave."

Ino made a movement and stopped, as if she had planned on doing something and had changed her mind the very last second. Temari, watching her from the side, caught her inquiring glance. "Will you say good bye to Shikamaru?"

Pain, sharp as a needle. Temari took a breath to steady herself. "No. Everything that needed to be said has been said."

"Don't do this, Temari."

It flustered her at the same time that it angered her; that Ino could still plead on Shikamaru's behalf while she should have been glad Temari was leaving. Perhaps it was one of the reasons while she finally would be going. How much, she wondered, was it costing the other woman? Probably as much as it cost Temari herself.

"It's done," she replied and turned to leave. "Bye, Ino. Take care." She hesitated for a second. "Watch out for Shikamaru for me."

Ino's eyes seemed sad but she did not try to push Temari further. "I will."

Temari waved a hand and started off, then remembered one last thing and turned around again. "Oh, and don't tell Shikamaru what I just told you, will you? He'll say we are-"

"Troublesome, I know." Ino finished her sentence, the corners of her lips turning upward. "Don't worry."

She probably had her own reasons for keeping their conversation to herself. Temari wasn't so sure anymore that Shikamaru did not know how Ino felt. But this wouldn't be any of her business in a short time.

The pain still was overwhelming.

The next morning, Ino saw her off. Getting further and further away from the gates of Hidden Leaf, Temari turned back a few times. Each time she expected to see Shikamaru but the familiar, tall figure did not appear. Ino was just barely visible when she turned back one last time, sighed and vowed to concentrate on the path before her, not behind.

The clouds in the sky looked like fluffy, white sheep.

…

While the outer walls of the houses of wind country's typical ducked, compact architecture were thick to both withstand storms and shield from heat and cold, the inner walls and doors lacked insulation.

"I should beat him up. I totally should." Kankurou's voice was filled with dark foreboding. "Did you see what he did? He sent a replacement. He didn't even dare to come here by himself, look us in the eye-"

In contrast to him, Gaara sounded almost uninterested. "Give the guy a break. He didn't break up with Temari, she broke up with him. Must've been heard for him, too. Besides, it has been six months. She's looking so much better nowadays."

Kankurou didn't let logic deter him in his thoughts of bloody vengeance. "I should beat him up and leave him outside to simmer nicely until the hyenas-"

"There are no hyenas in the desert."

Concession. "Okay, until the scorpions eat him alive. Then I'll hang him-"

"Wouldn't he be dead already?"

"Since when have you become the voice of reason? Fuck, it's about principles!"

"Which ones exactly?" Gaara inquired calmly.

Kankurou huffed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Those that state that…" Unable to come up with something, he threw his arms in the air. "Dammit, I don't care. Just let me go to Leaf and beat him up, rip off his legs..."

"Nah, can't let you do that. He's the Godaime's best diplomat."

"I said I don't care! Besides, he's holing himself up in this little town of his, pretending to be busy in order to not have to come here and face us like a man. I'll-"

"And besides, torturing him will be my privilege."

Kankurou fell silent and stared at his little brother in surprise. "Wow. I didn't know you had it in you, Gaara."

Gaara shrugged, matter-of-fact. "I learned a lot."

"You already have something in mind?"

"Actually, I do."

Temari stopped eaves-dropping, threw open the door and burst into the room, dropping a stack of scrolls on Kankurou's head. "I debriefed the last three border patrols. The guard-on-duty has changed, nothing to report. Council's meeting tomorrow, there are three major topics and the matter of Iwa joining the Leaf-Sand-Thunder alliance. And we have to revise these proposals for the security conference in Kaminari no Kuni. Since I took care of all this, dinner's on the two of you."

Gaara glanced at the papers she had brought and sighed. "Another late-nighter."

"You signed up for this job."

"And I'm regretting it more and more with every passing day."

"No, you're not." Kankurou picked up the scrolls and sorted through them with a practiced eye. "You love your work and you know it. What I don't understand is why we're still helping you. It's not as if we get paid."

"Temari, could you please tell your thick-headed brother that he has the right to leave my office any time he likes to, and that he please should take his stupid dolls when he does so? The earlier, the better. They're taking up space and gather dust." Gaara's voice was deadpan and as dry as the desert outside their window. The sun went down in a spectacular display of red pink and violet.

Temari smirked at her elder brother's immediate outrage. "My dolls aren't stupid. If something's stupid it's that silly pumpkin of yours. Aren't you too old to be carrying around your toys in your backpack?"

Gaara ignored him. "Council meeting. Tomorrow. We have to go over the Education Plan for the Academy, present the budget for the next year and think of how to counter Yamada-san's request to grant the Council transitional powers in case of the Kazekage's death. And the Tsuchi no Kuni problem."

"I wonder how you can remember all that stuff," Kankurou grumbled. "In my opinion there is no way Iwa can join the Alliance. Their political system mocks everything Suna stands for. They don't even know the meaning of the word Democracy."

Temari reached out and plucked the first scroll from the three pyramid Kankurou had created, whacking him on the head with it. "Stop moping around and get to work already."

Kankurou rolled his eyes, his faked bad mood and unwillingness to work not fooling any one of his siblings. "Bring it on."

Temari and Gaara shared a smile.

"You know, Kankurou," Gaara said, unsealing a scroll and spreading it out in front of him, "You're not fooling anyone of us. You like this work as much as we do."

"And you're not fooling me, either," his elder brother shot back. "You've always been this way. Shukaku might have concealed it, but you always cared for Suna. And for us."

"I agree on the first point."

Kankurou glanced at Temari knowingly and winked. And Temari knew, with a deep, satisfying clarity, that she had always loved her brothers and she would always do so, whatever was to come and whatever would change.