"Neal?! What are you doing here?" Belle was too surprised to think of anything more original to say. Neal smiled at her nervously and looked her up and down.
"Hey, um how are you doing?" Under his close scrutiny she felt her default cheerful persona slip into place.
"I'm good, how are you?" It was an automatic response and she knew Neal could immediately tell.
"Managing. Look, I came up to make sure you were okay and I, er, brought some supplies. We weren't sure what you'd have up here." At this point he drew her attention to a bag he had slung across his shoulder, bulging with unknown items.
"Thank you. Sorry, come in." She stepped to the side and put on a smile. "Would you like me to get you anything?" She attempted to fill the silence with more than their footsteps as she led him through the castle towards the kitchen. He stayed behind to close the great front door and so she stepped in to the spinning room ahead of him. There she stopped in shock to see Rumple still stood behind the central table.
Their eyes met then followed each other down to fix on the metal blade on the table in front of him. Belle hurried forwards before Neal caught up. She quickly collected the books spread out across the table into a pile at the side and picked up the knife, hastily tucking it into the folds of her dress where Neal wouldn't see it. She then looked up again to meet Rumple's eyes before spinning to face Neal as he walked into the room. She searched his face for any sign of surprise but he only looked around the room with slight trepidation and gave no indication he had noticed his father stood behind her.
"Can I help you put these away?" He suggested and lifted the bag from his shoulder.
"Yes, yes. Through here." She led him through the halls and they arrived in the kitchen. "You know, you didn't have to worry yourself about me". As they put the bag on the table in the middle of the room and emptied it, Belle found herself staring hungrily at the contents. She wasn't sure when she'd last eaten. Surely it couldn't be before she left the Royal Palace. How long ago was that? "Erm, did you want anything?" Belle asked Neal again absently, focused on the food.
"Make something for yourself, I don't mind. We thought maybe there wouldn't be very much up here for you to eat, since it'd been empty for a while before the curse." Neal replied easily, almost like he was encouraging her. Without further prompting she began reaching for some of the cold meats and bread and making a selection of foods for herself. Neal didn't comment when she took the occasional bite of the food as she arranged it on a plate, suddenly finding herself ravenous.
Only when she had heaped a pile of food for herself and sat down at one of the seats in the room with the plate in front of her did she look over to Neal again. He was watching her carefully, that same concerned look she had noticed before on his face. She spoke in the hopes that he would stop.
"What did you mean by "we thought"? Who's "we"?" She looked up and Neal's expression hadn't changed. It irked her.
"Well, those of us back at the castle – Snow White, Charming, everyone. We haven't heard anything from you since you disappeared as soon as you could get away, you didn't reply to the messenger bird…"
"What messenger bird?" As far as Belle was aware, she had spent all her time downstairs in the front room and had seen no such thing.
"Well it was only yesterday but you know what Mary Margaret can be like." He tried to make light of it and laughed a little but Belle still felt his steady gaze when she looked up briefly to see the strained attempt at a smile fade from his face. She looked away again quickly with a guilty feeling when she realised it must have come while she was asleep through the day. Trying to pass it off naturally she asked him calmly,
"So, what time is it?"
"Just early afternoon." About when she had dragged herself to bed yesterday in her exhaustion. She went back to concentrating on her food; she could almost believe it was already restoring her energy. Just as she took another bite of food she almost choked when she heard something brush into the room through the door behind her and she knew immediately what – who – it had to be.
Still spluttering, she jumped from her seat and ran to fill a glass with water and after swallowing a gulp or two, turning at the sink, to look back at the two of them. Neal had half risen out of his chair, Rumple had placed himself nonchalantly between the two chairs they had occupied. He silently gestured for her to retake her place.
"Belle, are you sure you're okay?" Neal said, only retaking his seat once she had cautiously walked back to her own. She nodded slowly, trying not to let her eyes wander to Rumple.
"Oh please, don't mind me. Just go on as if I weren't here." Rumple chipped in. Neal raised his eyebrows.
"We were worried about you Belle. We didn't think this is where you should be, not all alone up here in this castle."
"I'm fine, really." Rumple had pulled an offended pose as Neal said the word 'alone'. Belle ignored him.
"I miss him too, I understand. I was only just getting to know him again, the man you made him into. But you shouldn't lock yourself away."
She bristled at the idea of being locked up. "No, this is exactly where I should be." She paused to consider but then, against her best judgement she forged on, without looking at Rumple who now lurked on the other side of Neal. "What does everyone back down there think happened?"
"Happened? With the curse?" Belle suspected Neal was deliberately putting off answering her, he knew exactly what she was asking.
"To Pan. And Rumple."
"They saw what happened."
"I mean what does everyone else think?" She pushed, truly suspicious now.
"Well, er…" He looked away. Over the shoulder where Rumple now stood, watching him. "They haven't really discussed it mostly. They're just happy we weren't cursed again, and that we're back home."
"And you're not telling them? You won't let people know that your father sacrificed his life to save them?" Neal looked uneasy now, while Rumple watched with hard eyes, listening to what Neal had to say.
"To be honest, I don't think they'd listen." Neal said so quietly Belle almost missed it.
"Well they won't if they can't hear you." Rumple broke his uncharacteristic silence, the only reason Belle caught what Neal had said.
"It's not that easy. I mean, they wouldn't understand half of it."
"Understand?! Understand what? That's he's actually a good man? That he's not just the villain they all think he is?"
"The villain he thought he was." Belle knew Neal was thinking along the same lines as her, Rumple's final words cast a dark shadow in the room. Rumple, who had been walking back towards Belle, stopped and turned to look back at his son.
" You know, he really didn't have friends." Neal continued as if he could brush over the thick silence.
Rumple scoffed. "What makes you say that?" He seemed out of tone with the ugly atmosphere.
"And the whole family tree thing, it's kept pretty quiet. Only people who need to be told know about it at all."
"Can't pollute the good name of the royal family." Rumple went on and Belle was gritting her teeth to keep from admonishing him as well.
"And apart from the fact that's ridiculous, why does that even matter? They don't know why Rumple would save us? Is that it?"
"Evil Mr Gold, Henry's dear old grandpa." Belle flicked her eyes over to see Rumple leaning nonchalantly against the countertop next to her.
"If they just knew the truth..." Belle spoke over him and looked back to Neal.
"And what I'm trying to tell you is that people don't want to hear it. Grandpa Gold just doesn't fit their image of him."
"Then they don't know the real image."
"It's no use Bae." Rumple spoke quite sincerely to his son.
"Who did with him?" Neal retorted, then pulled himself back. "Most people, they like to see things very black and white. Like any fairy story."
"Oh don't you start too." Belle raised her voice, feeling outnumbered and overwhelmed.
"Start…what? Belle?" That worried tone was back in Neal's voice, like he was walking on eggshells around her.
"Oh, I wouldn't treat her like that if I were you." Rumple sounded suspiciously like he was having far too much fun.
"I don't need protecting. You don't have to act like I could shatter at any moment." She snapped at them both and Neal raised his hands in front of him, a sign of peace.
"I'm sorry, I really just came to see how you were. I didn't mean to upset you more."
"Uh-oh." Rumple tittered beside her.
"I…I mean, you didn't want to hear any of that." He quickly tried to backtrack. "I'm just getting it off my chest, really."
"Then…"
"Don't Belle, if you won't see what the rest of the kingdom want to think I can't make you."
"No. You can't. And you can't make me come back to the palace with you." She knew what he had been about to say and felt a thrill of victory when she saw Neal bite back his tongue, looking put out.
"Belle, it's more sense than being stuck up here on your own in his empty castle." Neal tried to be diplomatic but Belle was frustrated by his wilful ignorance of her point of view, just as she was apparently being ignorant of the common opinion of Rumple.
"This was my home too. I need to be with him!" She retorted without thinking.
"With him? Belle… he's gone." Neal's voice quickly dropped from caring to concern for her sanity. "Look, I really think you need to come back down to the Royal Castle."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"I'm worried, it's really not healthy for you."
"Not healthy to what, still have hope?"
"That's not hope, it's delusion, Belle. He's dead!"
"I know that. I'm not deluded. I just know I can still get to him."
Neal turned pale and looked honestly scared for the first time. Belle was too defensive to feel bad about that, she felt he had goaded her to blurting out more than she had meant to.
"Belle, stop. Listen to yourself!" He reached out for her, managing to take a hold of her arm and pulling her to face him. She stared at him, slightly stunned and was gathering herself up to shake herself free of him. At the same time Rumple made a feral noise, almost like a growl. Neal's grip shot open and he pulled his hand back, as if electrocuted.
Belle looked at him, struck with confusion but he carried on as if nothing unusual had happened. He did seemed more hesitant to lay his hands on her.
She knew she had said too much and was wary of what Neal might try to say or do now.
"You've got to let him go." Neal pleaded.
"Well thanks for your faith in me. And in Belle." Rumple would not be dissuaded from commenting, if Belle waved at him to stop Neal would see and only grow more worried.
"I can't do that." Belle replied simply and Neal exclaimed in a noise of irritation.
"Oh man. I didn't see it before but wow. You are just as stubborn as he was."
"I'm just not giving up on him yet. Because maybe I'm not so ready to just give up on him like you were!"
"Stubborn, foolish…! You can't see anything that's not about you. No wonder you were such a good match." Neal spat back at her. Rumple was staying silent but his face looked dark enough that Belle was surprised Neal couldn't sense the malevolence radiating from his corner of the room. His reaction gave Belle strength, as he was there actually backing her up.
"Get out! Get out!" She shouted. Neal didn't waste any time in getting to his feet and stepping towards the door of the kitchen.
"I don't know why I even came. You're way beyond anyone's help now. He really must have pulled some tricks on you." Neal easily retraced the route they had come in by.
"OUT!" She yelled. She could almost feel the magic radiating out of Rumple, crackling in the air around her as he stuck by her side and she breathed it in, taking its strength for her resolve.
Neal had reached the entrance hall by now. He had stormed through the spinning room without a second glance at the pile of books on the table, which in his current state of mind was probably a good thing. He pulled the heavy oak door open but before leaving he turned to her and spat out with all the venom he could muster
"You know, I just keep seeing more and more evidence of people's lives that my father ruined. Obviously he never changed. I'm sorry for what he did to you Belle – however he weaselled his way into your head. Everyone else is probably happier he's gone and times like these, I think maybe they could be right."
The words hit Belle like a brick wall and she shivered in horror at the way they cruelly echoed his father. It was too much as the two voices in her head seemed to merge together, scornful of the one thing she truly believed in. She felt the tight clench of anger in her gut as Rumple stood defensively beside her, bristling with intangible power, a breathing image of the rage she felt.
She reached for him without thinking, his hand always a source of comfort she centred herself in. Before Neal had had time to properly turn and leave, an animalistic noise of raw fury burst from her, directed at the glowering shadow in her doorway. At the same time a thrill of energy ran through her entire body.
He was thrown from the top step. He let out a startled yelp and flung his arms out but with nothing to grab on to, he flew gracelessly from the portico, landing heavily on his side. He started scrambling to his feet quickly but this was all Belle needed to be certain that he was not damaged. She slammed the door shut and turned from her spot in the middle of the entrance hall, returning to the spinning room.
She was breathing heavily and felt a strange tingling, almost like the ripples of the shockwave she had felt before. The anger was still there too. She paced up and down the length of the table, completely unable to stay still. By the time she had reached the opposite end there was a knocking on the door. It sounded frantic.
She ignored it.
He kept knocking and shouting her name for a few minutes but he wasn't getting anywhere. It went quiet and Belle continued circling the room restlessly. Then she heard a much closer tapping and Neal was stood at one of the windows of the long room. He looked pleading when she met his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Belle! Talk to me!" She didn't say anything in reply but she walked towards him and he nodded encouragingly. "Belle, I was angry. Let me in. I just want to talk." She reached the window and looked down at him standing in the bare soil outside the window. "I'm not trying to make you do anything you don't want to. Please!" That was definite panic in his voice. She tilted her head slightly, curious to hear it but for some reason felt like it meant nothing to her. Then she reached for the curtain and pulled it shut between them.
"No, Belle!" She heard scuffling and quickly walked to repeat the action at the next curtain, and the next until all the light was blocked from the room.
Once she had finished this and she was in darkness the feeling that had been filling her with strength suddenly left. She stumbled and heard Neal's distressed cries as if they penetrated the fog of her mind for the first time. She shook her head to clear it and couldn't imagine facing him. She wanted to run. She retreated to the interior of the castle, where the sounds from outside couldn't penetrate. When there were several closed doors behind her she finally stopped walking and sank to the floor at the foot of a narrow staircase, somewhere in what might have been a servants' quarters.
"What did I do?" Her voice was almost a sob, her entire body felt like something had just vacated it and left her behind, hollowed out.
Rumple was stood in the small space with her. She didn't remember him following her through the house but she knew he would be here now. She didn't look at him, instead bowing her head to stare at her hands. They seemed completely foreign to her. They were shaking, she realised her whole body was.
"What did you do?" She choked out. Everything felt wrong, like she was somehow separated from her body.
Rumple's scaled hands came into her narrow line of vision, cupped on either side of her own. Somehow it was like he was enclosing her hands, holding her together. It gave her a focus and the world around her started to feel more solid. She didn't feel ready to look away from her hands yet.
"Bae! Rumple, he's your son! I don't understand what happened!" She pulled her hands back and started heaving in breaths but she wasn't getting any air. She put her hands out against the walls around her. Were they getting closer?
"Belle!" Rumple's voice cut through her daze and she snapped her eyes up to look at him, his face just inches from hers and his fierce gaze fixing her in place. "I did nothing. And you know that." She focused on his familiar, captivating eyes.
She was still breathing heavily but his intensity drew her in, drew away her fear and left her with a steady calmness. She let his voice guide her to the answer. "I...did it? Me? But that was magic. That's not me?" She tried to pull away but couldn't bring herself to move.
"You did the right thing. " Rumple soothed.
"But I don't know how."
"Magic isn't thinking, Dearie. If you have it in you, it can appear at the strangest of times."
"But if I did that…" she stopped, struggling to make sense of the new revelation. "I could have hurt him. I could have killed him!" She felt the panic threatening to engulf her once more, she didn't want to go but the weight of horror dragged her down.
"You had no other choice. You couldn't control it."
"Then it's even more dangerous!"
"With your passion, it's even more potent."
She shifted then, leaning away from him to see his face and jerked back when she felt something uncomfortable. Reaching beneath her, she pulled the dagger from the folds of cloth. She had forgotten about its hiding place in her skirt, neatly fixed under her belt.
She was glad of whatever protective impulse had caused her to conceal it from Neal. He might have tried to steal it, to take it for himself.
"Who knows what he might have done if you hadn't got rid of him." Rumple said offhandedly. She closed her eyes, put a hand to his chest and concentrated, trying to feel something, any crackle of his powerful aura. He looked down and placed his free hand over hers.
"I'm proud of you. My powerful Belle."
So i actually finished writing this the night before i left the country...and then i left the country. So i had to edit it after i got back from a field trip in Spain
But here, I hope you enjoy!