Chapter 4

Ace went up to the door that led to her room and opened it quietly.

Many hours had passed since they had left Earth, the Doctor had taken a slow journey to give Devon time to rest, and as she entered the room she wondered if he was still sleeping. They were soon to reach their destination, and she felt bad about waking him if he was still recovering...

But the bed was empty.

Ace looked around the room.

"Devon?" she said nervously, as the sudden thought grabbed her that perhaps he had wandered out of the room while she had been resting in another, and for a brief moment she felt angry with herself for leaving his side and selfish for putting her own need for rest first when he was so unwell.

And then the bathroom door opened.

Ace stood there staring in disbelief at the sight of Devon, looking fully recovered and dressed in a dark blue suit with silk lapels embroidered with Gallifreyan swirls. His leather shoes were polished to a high shine and beneath his open jacket he wore a white shirt open at the neck and patterned with dark spirals. His hair was combed and he bore no trace of the pain he suffered.

As he looked at her he smiled.

"Hello Ace!" he said brightly, "I really must thank the Doctor for leaving me these clothes – exactly my kind taste, too, I wonder how he knew -"

"It was the Tardis," Ace told him, "This ship has given me clothes too."

He blinked.

"This ship did that for me?"

Ace smiled.

"Well your own suit was ruined and I'm pretty sure the Tardis knows you saved the world. Probably her way of thanking you."

"Her?"

"The Doctor calls the Tardis a her."

He pushed up his sleeve and showed her a gold watch with a leather strap, its face decorated with jewelled Roman numerals.

"She gave me a very expensive watch, too!"

"Wicked!" Ace exclaimed.

And then she looked intently at Devon.

"You're really better?"

"I certainly feel better," he told her, "I woke up and the pain was gone, so were the burns."

And she smiled and he saw relief in her eyes and felt guilty for holding back the truth, but then he pushed his guilt aside, feeling thankful to be free of pain, feeling well and in the company of Ace McShane. Yes, he would tell her eventually – but not yet, not while he still had precious time to enjoy life, even if it would only be a few short days before the true extent of the poisoning became obvious.

"The Professor said you might need treatment for the radiation," Ace reminded him, "But I'm not so sure that you do, I mean, it wasn't like earth radiation, it was more like -"

"Alien radiation and yes Ace, it certainly did affect me in a very different way to ordinary radioactive poisoning. And I'm feeling well now, but I probably should have some treatment to be sure I'm in control of it, I mean, it's still radiation, it can be serious."

And that was the closest he had got to the truth since he had first met her. But then he saw a flicker of worry in her eyes, and he quickly laughed it off.

"Don't worry about me, do I look ill?"

Ace shook her head.

"Not any more."

He smiled and took hold of her hand.

"Then let's get out of here, Ace! When is the Tardis landing? I can't wait to discover an alien world, it sounds so exciting!"

And then he led her out into the corridor and they walked towards the console room as Devon continued to talk of his excitement at the thought of landing on another planet, and Ace recalled again how unwell he had been, and hoped his recovery would last, because it had been so sudden and she was still stunned by the sheer speed of it...

The Doctor had been checking the controls as he keyed in a landing sequence.

Then Ace and Devon walked into the room and he stared at Devon in surprise:

It certainly was true the poisoning was yet to become obvious, the initial exposure had worn off and now he looked deceptively well and by the look of relief on her face, Ace was yet to learn the truth...

"Morning Doctor!" Devon said brightly, "Thanks ever so much for finding me and Laura a new planet to live on – where is Laura this morning?"

"She will be along in a minute," the Doctor said, "I woke her twenty minutes ago... you humans do sleep a lot when first introduced to space travel!"

"I'm not surprised I did," Devon replied, and the Doctor met his gaze, briefly smiled but then the look in his eyes hardened.

"You need to start making some plans, Professor Travis."

And Devon avoided his gaze as he looked down at the polished console floor, then he ran his fingers through his hair and looked back at him, forcing a smile.

"No rush," he replied, "I'm feeling well, I can afford to wait a few days before I seek treatment. It's going to have the same outcome no matter when I do it any way – so what's the fuss about?"

"Ace."

Devon stared at him, fearing the Doctor was about to reveal the truth, and the Doctor saw fear in his eyes as Ace glanced at him, and said, "What, Professor?"

Devon was holding his breath.

The Doctor shrugged.

"Nothing important...I just wondered if you could go and tell Laura to hurry up, we're about to land."

"Sure," Ace replied, and she left the console room, and at last Devon could breathe again.

"I get your point, Doctor!" he snapped, glaring at him now they were alone in the console room. Devon was breaking out in a light sweat that had nothing to do with his health and everything to do with how close the Doctor had come to revealing the truth – or at least, making him aware of how easy it would be...

The Doctor threw a switch and with a wheeze and a groan the Police Box left the darkness of space, reappearing on the planet of Stetera 3. The view from the port showed green fields and buildings dotted about close by, some tall, some smaller, but all with white walls and windows gleaming in the bright morning sunshine, and beyond that, where the road opened up wide, passing through more fields, the sea rolled to a golden shore, white foam chased in and out from land tugged on waves that rolled as deep blue water.

But neither men who stood in the console room cared to pause and admire the view, their eyes had locked and as they stood facing each other, the Doctor could sense a rising hostility from Devon, born purely out of the desperate need to cling to normality while he still could.

The Doctor stepped closer, looking up at Devon, who was much taller than him, but as his gaze did not waver, determination burned in his eyes.

"You have to tell her the truth, Devon. I can see how Ace feels about you, it's there in her eyes and you know it!"

And Devon felt slightly bewildered that the friendly little man in the question mark jumper who had taken him away from the threat that remained on Earth could suddenly appear so hostile. There was darkness in his eyes and his voice had lowered as he held him in a gaze that was impossible to break away from, as if he could see into his soul.

"I know you're scared," the Doctor said, "And I know you're aware your time is most likely running out. But she needs to know!"

"Why are you trying to protect her?"

"Because I care! Because she's been a friend for a long time and I won't stand back and see her heart broken when the truth could easily soften that blow when the time comes!"

There was a brief flash of panic in his eyes, and then Devon replied, keeping his voice low in case Ace walked back in to the room unexpectedly.

"I will tell her! I just don't want to do it yet, not while the poison is in the dormant phase! Please Doctor, put yourself in my position for a moment – if you knew the end was coming, what would you do? Tell her right away, or wait until you had to? Why cause her sadness before she has to know anything about it? I realise there may not be a cure for me, but I want to make the most of the time I have left. Perhaps the radiation won't kill me for a very long time, perhaps -"

" Xaygrolium radiation sickness is incurable!" the Doctor said sharply, "Exposure to small amounts can be treated with a life expectancy of around five years. But you absorbed much more than that, Devon. At the most you could hope for five or six months – with treatment – that's if you respond to treatment. You need to face facts, there are no miracles."

He drew in a slow breath and looked sadly at the Doctor.

"But I can allow myself to hope. I have to, because hope is all I have left, Doctor. And I wasn't planning to meet Ace or to like her so much, to warm to her – but why should I push her away now, when time is running out?"

The Doctor considered his words carefully.

"I am Time Lord, capable of regeneration – when I die, I regenerate into a new body. I have died many times. But with each death I know I will live again. I'm also aware that you have one life, and one death, too – and I don't want to stop you being close to Ace, I just want her to hear the truth, from you, before you become closer to her and she starts hoping for a future that she can't have. I never want to see her hopes and dreams shattered when it can be avoided by necessary explanation to enable her to prepare for the moment."

And pain reflected in Devon's eyes.

"Please, " he said quietly, "Not yet."

And then Ace returned with Laura, and she smiled brightly at the Doctor, and his twin hearts ached as he wished Devon would tell the girl the truth before it was too late.

"Shall we go, then?" she said, and then she looked out the viewing port.

"Oh wicked! This place looks lovely! I can't wait to explore!"

"I think we should explore right away!" Devon said, and Ace took hold of his hand and smiled again, and the Doctor wanted to weep for all the things she didn't know.

"Why not," he replied, taking his umbrella from the hat stand beside the console, "I think you're going to like this planet, Ace."

And the Doctor opened the door and stepped outside, and the others followed, breathing in the fresh air and taking in the blue skies and the landscape of the planet for the first time.

As they walked away from the Tardis towards a road that led towards the nearby buildings, Ace looked around and smiled as she saw the green fields and the trees and the wild flowers growing at the roadside.

"This place is lovely!" she exclaimed, "And I've got a good feeling about it - no trouble here, eh, Professor?"

"No trouble," he replied, and turned his head as he walked, taking in the view of a field as he tried not to think about the trouble that certainly was brewing due to Devon's reluctance to face up to the truth and share it with Ace.

Then the Doctor quickened his pace, walking ahead of Laura, who was looking around fascinated at the thought that this planet was not Earth, and as he walked he was also putting a distance between himself and Ace and Devon, who were holding hands and talking softly as they walked together.

He felt thankful his companions were happy to enjoy the view of the beautiful, unpolluted, unspoiled planet, because he really didn't want to talk to anyone at that moment because he could not share his thoughts:

He had no right to tell Ace Devon's secret, even though it felt like the right thing to do.

And it pained him greatly on so many levels as he thought about the harsh reality that was about to creep up on Professor Travis – the man had saved the world, and it would ultimately cost him his own life, and there was nothing that could be done to alter that fact. He wondered how Devon would feel about his heroic act when he lay dying from the alien radiation.

Then he wondered how Ace would react when she learned the truth, and then a worse thought hit him:

Ace would see this as a betrayal.

She would never, ever forgive him for hiding a secret of this magnitude no matter how he tried to explain his reasons for doing so...

Those thoughts weighed heavy in his hearts as they made their way towards the buildings that were now closer, and somewhere behind him he heard the soft voices of Ace and Devon, talking sweetly as only those in love could, and Ace laughed, but he did not look back for fear she would catch the look in his eyes and spy a glimpse of the truth...

As they reached town, they crossed a small bridge that stretched over a fast running stream and the Doctor paused, looking around and seeing two roads – one led off into the suburbs, the other led into the heart of town. The roads were quiet, and remained so as traffic passed them, small cars with silent engines that emitted no exhaust fumes.

The Doctor pointed towards town with the tip of his umbrella.

"This way, " he said, and took the lead once more.

"Professor?"

"What is it, Ace?" he called back, not caring to look around and see her in a moment of happiness with Devon, happiness that would shatter like a piece of china far sooner than he cared to think about...

"Are there any aliens here?" Ace asked him.

"No," he replied, "This is an Earth colonised planet, and this may look like a small town to you, but it is in fact the largest city on the entire planet – its got a lot of open space and the population is quite low in comparison to many other planets. It's only been a colony for five hundred years, and that's counting from when the first researchers set up here – the colonisation came later, so the population is yet to boom. It's a nice, quiet place. And they have excellent beaches and restaurants, there are hotels at the edge of town near the coast – and there is a large medical centre here in the heart of the town, I was hoping Devon -"

"Not right now, Doctor."

He stopped walking and turned back, fixing Devon with a look that held back much of the anger he wished he could show.

"Not yet?"

"I feel fine!" Devon said as he stood beside Ace holding her hand, "And we've only just got here. I want to find a nice hotel with a sea view and enjoy myself. I can't think of a better way to get to know this planet."

"Sounds a good idea to me too," Laura agreed.

The Doctor gave a sigh.

"Then that's what we we will do," he said, and turned back to the road and carried on walking. Laura was still fascinated by her new surroundings, and lagging behind a little. He could still hear softly spoken words exchanged between Ace and Devon as they walked hand in hand, and the Doctor fixed his hardened gaze on the road ahead and said nothing more as he led the way towards the road that led to the coast, where salt was in the air and the cliff side was dotted with hotels and guest houses.

When they had walked to a large, white house that was clearly a replica of old Victorian style, the Doctor paused at a white painted gate.

Beyond it a garden was filled with flowers – Earth flowers and Earth plants, even the trees had come from Earth.

"I'll arrange our rooms," he said.

"I want a sea view."

The Doctor looked back at Devon.

"I'm assuming most rooms have one, Professor Travis, the place does look out to sea!"

Then he went through the gate and up the path and rang the old fashioned doorbell.

Laura waited beside the Doctor and as the door opened, he smiled, raising his hat as he spoke to the young woman who owned the guest house. He spoke to her briefly and then went inside, and Laura followed, while Ace and Devon stood outside in the garden.

"I thought I was going to miss Earth," Devon said as he led Ace over to the shade of an oak tree that grew tall with branches spread wide, and they sat down on a bench beside a fish pond.

Ace looked into the water and smiled as she spotted a familiar sight that reminded her of home.

"Goldfish!"

"I think everything was brought to this place from Earth," he said, "That's how it looks to me."

And then he paused, looked down at her hand clasped in his grip and gently ran his fingers across the back of her hand.

"I expect you will be leaving with the Doctor soon."

And she saw something reflected in his eyes, it was there for a moment and then gone – pain?

"I don't have to go yet," she said, "The Professor said we can stay for a little while. I think he needs a break like this as much as I do...some of the places I've been, the danger I've experienced – you wouldn't believe what it can be like, travelling with him!"

And then his smile faded.

"What's the matter? You look so sad."

He shook his head and then let go of her hand.

"It's nothing, I was just thinking about how I'll miss you, and it's not fair to say that because you have your life the way you want it, you like to be free and travel and it wouldn't be right for me to ask you to stay, at least, not for too long – you'd miss the Doctor and your travels too much."

"No I wouldn't."

Ace had surprised herself with how fast she had made that statement, and with no need for time to think about it.

Devon looked at her in surprise.

"You wouldn't miss your life in the Tardis?"

"I would, but I think I'd miss you even more."

Now her face was flushing and she felt awkward; it was not every day she fell so quickly and heavily and while she had no regrets about her decision to follow her heart, it still surprised her that she could be so open, so quickly, with someone she barely knew.

But as she looked into his eyes she felt as if she had known him for a lifetime, and she started to smile.

"Sometimes," she said, "When I'm going to strange, far away places, I'm excited. Other times it can be just plain scary. I've seen beautiful sunsets and amazing animals and exotic aliens and all kinds of wonders."

And then the light in her eyes faded as her voice dropped lower.

"But I've also seen horrible things, evil alien races hell bent on destruction, I've fought battles and I've seen people die. What happened back on Earth at the lab, all those people dead on the floor, killed by the Cybermen? That's just another day for me. Sometimes, it really does get that bad."

"But not here," Devon replied, "Not on this beautiful planet that looks like Earth. I'm glad I ended up here."

And then he laughed softly as he thought of the irony of that statement.

"I'm not sure how long I'll appreciate it, but I am thankful to be here. I didn't expect to be spending the rest of my life in the far-off future on an alien planet when I left for work on the day the Cybermen attacked."

And as his smile faded she saw sorrow in his eyes again.

"What did you mean?" she asked him, and a sea breeze shifted through the garden blowing her long hair back in honey brown tendrils that danced in the wind.

Devon reached out and brushed her hair off her shoulder, and then placed his hand against her cheek as he looked into her eyes.

"I need to talk to you about a lot of things," he said gently, "But...not now, not yet. I just want to be happy, is that selfish of me?"

And compassion filled her eyes as she guessed he had to be talking about how he could never return to earth again.

"I'd be sad too if I could never go home," she said to him, but he had not answered her question and it was starting to nag at her.

"What did you mean? You didn't answer me, I wanted to know why you said it."

"Said what?"

"About being here, that you didn't know how long you would appreciate it. I'm not sure I understand."

He looked into her eyes.

"Devon?" she said, searching for the truth as he hesitated.

"It doesn't matter," he told her, "Forget about it, I've been through a lot, I'm tired... I just want to enjoy being here on this lovely planet, with you. That's all I'm thinking about now."

"You're thinking about me?"

"I couldn't stop if I tried," he whispered, and he pulled her closer and their lips touched.

As they sat beneath the shade of the tree and she returned his kisses, Ace clung to him tightly as a feeling swept over her that she had been aware of before, but had tried not to think too deeply about – she wanted to be with this man. She wanted it more than anything she had ever wanted, she never wanted to let him go...

The Doctor had booked the rooms and then thanked the woman who handed him a set of keys, and he went up the stairs with Laura to the second floor, counted door numbers and went up to a door at the end of the hall and unlocked it.

"This is nice," he said, stepping inside.

Laura followed, standing in the middle of the room as she looked around at the floral walls and the dark furniture. It all looked antique, and definitely came from Earth.

"I think I'll be quite comfortable here," he told her, and he went over to a window and opened it, pulling back sheer nets to let in salty air fresh off the sea.

"So Ace and Devon are in rooms just down the hall -"

"And I'm in here," the Doctor replied, still looking out of the window, "Although I have a feeling they will soon be sharing a room, not that it's any of my business...or maybe it is..."

"What do you mean?" she asked him.

He was still watching the waves roll to shore as he replied to her question.

"There's a problem," he said quietly, "And I don't know what to do for the best."

And then he turned from the window, walked over to the door and closed it, turning the lock, before walking back to the window where Laura stood looking at him with a confused expression.

"What kind of a problem?" she asked him, feeling startled by the troubled look she saw in his eyes.

He gave a heavy sigh.

"It's Ace!" he exclaimed, "I need to talk to her about something and I can't..."
Laura was looking at him intently now.

"What can't you talk to her about?"

As he looked back at her, he wished he could tell her everything, and felt certain that eventually, he would, because the weight of the secret was too great to bear alone, thinking of Ace being ignorant to the truth was breaking his hearts and so deeply he was afraid to question why – but Laura was here, and the door was locked and he had not stopped feeling that warmth that flowed through his senses every time he looked at her...

"We'll talk about it later," he said quietly, "And by the way, you haven't asked me where your room is."

"You haven't booked it yet," she reminded him.

He stepped closer and spoke softly in reply as her closeness made him forget everything but the fact that a safe harbour from the storm could be found in the arms of this woman.

"I wanted to wait," he told her, "In case you decided to accept my offer and stay here with me."

And as she looked into his eyes, she smiled.

"I'd like that very much, Doctor," she told him, and as he put his arms around her, thoughts of Ace fell away as he welcomed her closeness and left his troubles far outside the locked bedroom door.