Rachel's hand twitched toward her face, but she stopped herself. Just because she hadn't seen him in a year didn't mean she should revert to form.

If she turned and left, maybe he wouldn't see her, anyway. But she did need more Floo powder, and it wasn't like she could just casually dump it out and come back the next day. That would be stupid anyway.

"Rachel?" his voice said, full of laughter as always. "Rachel Chaplin?"

She smiled at him, not needing to force herself.

Rachel smiled at everyone.

"Fabian!" she said, clutching her Floo powder and calculating how quickly she could feasibly end this conversation. "It's good to see you!"

This was not a lie. It was always good to see Fabian Prewett, as he was immensely attractive and reminded her of good days in school, when she would spend time with him, and sometimes with his brother and friends.

"I guess I really haven't seen you since we graduated, have I?" he said thoughtfully. "We should catch up. Are you busy?"

Was she busy? No. Should she pretend she was busy?

There really would be no purpose served but avoiding him, and after not seeing him in so long that was the last thing she wanted. She shook her head and he said, "Great, then I'll meet you outside once you've paid and maybe we could have lunch or something?"

Rachel hadn't supposed he'd meant lunch at his flat, but it turned out to be exactly what he meant.

"I'm surprised you and Gideon didn't get a place together," she said with a teasing smile. "I seem to recall that he was rather attached to you."

Fabian rolled his eyes.

"Gideon was needed elsewhere."

Something about the way he said that made a shiver raise bumps on her skin, but she just nodded like she knew what he meant and sat down as he put sandwiches on the table.

"How have you been?" he asked happily. "I'm guessing well. Your face looks better."

Rachel blushed.

"I've been all right," she admitted. "It's hard work, writing all the time, but eventually it will pay off, I think."

She reached for a sandwich as he poured them tea.

"Have you managed to publish yet?" he asked, stirring in sugar and milk to his own and passing her the black one.

"I'll actually be on shelves in a couple of months," she admitted, smiling wanly. "Would you like a copy?"

Fabian's eyes lit up playfully and he said, "Only if you sign it. Is it long?"

"Dreadfully," Rachel teased, and she felt that it was so easy to fall back into their old ways, familiar, laughing, joking together.

They talked for hours, catching up, reminiscing.

"Who do you spend time with, then?" he asked happily. "Have you seen Lily in a while?"

"Ah, no," Rachel said, smiling apologetically. "Holly Elizabeth and Ophelia, mostly. I mean, I have a flat with Dorcas, but…"

"But she's out all the time," Fabian said, his voice dark again. "Is Ophelia still seeing Althea?"

Rachel shifted uncomfortably.

"Yes," she muttered, warming her hands against her tea.

There had been a massive scandal when it had become commonly known that Rachel's Ravenclaw friend, Ophelia Warburton, was not only dating a Slytherin, but a Slytherin female, Althea Grimshaw. Rachel and Holly Elizabeth hadn't minded. Althea was a bit hard to crack out of her shell, but she was otherwise a lovely girl, and she made Ophelia very happy.

But the Marauders had been outraged, and Ophelia had been more or less cut out of their interactions after that.

Fabian didn't seem to judge, though, so he just nodded.

"That was a tough year," he said softly. "Between that, and Mary…."

Mary MacDonald had been one of Rachel's roommates at Hogwarts. She was a quiet girl with dark hair. She had a heavy dialect and didn't speak often, but when she did, she spoke bluntly in a way that both amused and frustrated the people around her. Rachel and Mary hadn't been the best of friends, but they liked each other very much, and also happened to think each other brilliant.

When Mary MacDonald's body was found in the lake on Christmas morning of their seventh year…underneath the ice, somehow, the whole school had been shocked.

"So, is Holly Elizabeth still dating Caradoc?" Fabian asked, changing to a brighter topic.

"I don't think they've spoken since graduation, either," Rachel said with a laugh. "Caradoc disappeared with you lot, you know, and I don't think he ever forgave her for catching the Snitch before him. Quidditch Cup champions three years in a row…. Poor Ravenclaw was devastated."

"Well, he's forgiven the rest of us," Fabian mused, scratching his chin. "But I guess things got awkward with them, in the end."

Rachel nodded, finishing off the last of her tea several minutes later and saying softly, "I suppose I really ought to get back or Dorcas will worry."

"Do you want me to go back with you?" Fabian asked, taking her teacup from her and looking at her with shining eyes.

It was strange, after so long not seeing him, not talking to him, when she'd grown so used to seeing him every single day. Her heart raced as he offered to take her back, but she shook her head. This had already gone on too long and she was bound to do something stupid, say something stupid if it continued.

"No, I really think it's fine," she said, laughing and getting her Floo powder from the counter. Fabian nodded and went to the window.

She'd just put her hand on the doorknob when Fabian said, his voice suddenly dark and concerned, "Wait."

She turned and looked at him. He was frowning down at the street for a brief moment before he closed the blinds, then moving to the next window to close the blinds again.

"What are you doing?" she asked, moving toward him.

"Stay there," he demanded. "Stay in the kitchen."

Rachel did as ordered while he closed the last set of curtains and returned to her, looking pale. She asked again what was going on and he motioned for her to sit down, making more tea.

"Fabian," she began but he cut her off.

"How much do you know about what Dorcas does?" he asked softly.

That was an interesting question. Rachel knew next to nothing, but she could guess.

"She's doing something for Dumbledore," Rachel said softly. "I imagine it's something dangerous, something for the war, but she doesn't tell me. I'm not sure I want to know."

Fabian nodded, looking down at the table.

"We all are," he said with a sigh. "Gideon and I. The Marauders, Lily, Marlene, Edgar, Caradoc…. It's why you haven't heard much from us. We're trying to keep safe the people we care about."

Her heart skipped a beat when he said that. She wished he wouldn't say things like that, remind her of all the things she never told him just so that she would have to suppress them all over again. It was bad enough that he was sitting there across from her, looking so attractive and not realizing the turmoil building up inside of her.

"So…so you're fighting," she said softly, picking at a spot on the table. "All of you?"

"Among other things," he said, touching her hand. She shivered. "You know that we're all excellent duelists, Rachel. You shouldn't worry…"

"How many have died?" she demanded, looking up at him. "How many of your excellent duelists have already died?"

He just looked at her, and she could tell by the set of his jaw that he wasn't going to answer her question. She got to her feet and began to pace.

"Why can't I go home?" she asked as he poured her tea. "What's going on outside?"

"Death Eaters are outside," he said softly. "Rosier and Macnair from the look of them. I thought I'd been inactive long enough for them to focus on something or someone else, but…"

Rachel frowned moving toward the curtains, but he sharply told her to come back to the kitchen and she jumped.

Fabian had never spoken to her like that before. A shiver went down her spine, but she obeyed, coming back to the kitchen and taking the tea from him.

"If they knew you were here, knew you were seeing me," he said softly, looking down at the table. "They probably already know that you're living with Dorcas. I don't want you being a target, Rachel. I've seen things…."

She didn't want to ask what he had seen. Neither of them had seen Mary's body, but they both had heard all about it. There was plenty of the war in the papers without knowing about the worst of it.

"But I'm nobody," she said softly. "I write books about spores and their various uses. What possible use would they have for targeting me?"

He looked up at her with a sad smile and said, "Why do you think we've distanced ourselves, Rachel? Dorcas was the only one really opposed to it, and you two have been like sisters for so long that it wouldn't have made a difference anyway. Association with any of us is dangerous, and if they thought we cared about you especially…"

Her heart raced and she wondered…

No. No, it meant nothing, nothing more than Lily or Marlene caring about her especially.

"Right," she said softly. "Well, how am I supposed to get home, then?"

He carefully crept over to the window and looked down at the street.

"Still there," he muttered. "Yes, that's definitely Rosier. Can't see the other's face."

"Do you have a grate?" Rachel asked, sipping her tea.

"No," Fabian said, letting the curtain fall again. "No, I haven't. I suppose we could wait it out, unless you have somewhere you particularly have to be…"

"I don't," Rachel admitted, "but Dorcas will start to worry."

"I can send her a message," he said, waving her off. "That's easy. But I don't know when they'll leave, and I doubt you want to spend the night…"

Rachel looked down at her tea.

"I wouldn't mind," she said softly. "But I suppose you wouldn't want me here."

He frowned at her for a moment, that calculating look in his blue-green eyes that she'd seen every time they'd had a fight.

"No, it's just I've only got the one bed," he said slowly. "And…. Well, never mind. I think we can agree that you staying the night might be worse than being seen leaving after teatime."

Well, she hadn't thought of that. Being seen having lunch or tea with an old friend, even at his flat, was one thing. If they thought she and Fabian were together she would certainly be a target.

"Right," she said, looking around the room. "I suppose I could Disapparate in here."

"No," Fabian said, again in that sharp tone she was so unfamiliar with. "No, I'm not letting you Splinch yourself, Rachel. You know how dangerous that is."

"Well, would you rather I get Splinched, or would you rather they follow me around until I'm a corpse like Mary?" she said dryly, pushing the tea away and standing.

"Rachel," he began, but she shook her head, pulling out her wand.

"It's my life, Fabian," she said softly. "My choices. If I feel like getting Spliched today, that's my prerogative."

"Always so bloody stubborn," he muttered, moving to the curtains once more and looking out at the street. She watched him carefully for some sign, some sign of anything. He closed the curtains and turned back to her. "All right," he said. "If you're so intent on hurting yourself, then go ahead."

"They're still there?" she asked, hands shaking slightly as he moved toward her. He nodded. "Stand back," she said.

"I'm fine as long as I don't touch you," he said.

"Right," she breathed. "Right."

Before she realized what she was doing, she leaned forward and kissed him, and before he had a chance to give any sort of reaction, she backed away and Disapparated.

She landed with a searing pain in her shoulder.

"Fuck!" she screamed, and she heard Dorcas open the door right away, helping Rachel inside.

"What happened?" Dorcas asked, taking the Floo powder from Rachel hand and putting her on the sofa. "Gah, I'll get the dittany."

"Splinched, obviously," Rachel said with the attempt at dry humor, but the moment wasn't right for it and Dorcas just gave her a stern look as she treated the wound on Rachel's shoulder.

"I'm aware of that," Dorcas said, pulling out her wand to more carefully examine the wound. "You'll be fine in a day or two. Now, why exactly were you unfocused enough to Splinch yourself?"

Rachel went to shrug, but it hurt too much and she bit her lip, shaking her head.

Dorcas just looked at her with a raised eyebrow in demand.

"Right," Rachel finally sighed. "Well, I kissed Fabian Prewett, and-"

"You what?" Dorcas cried.

Rachel just sighed, settling on the sofa while Dorcas immediately forgot about the wound and began to do a victory dance around the room.

"When you're quite finished," Rachel said, frowning. "Anyway, you and I both know it was stupid. Obviously, if I Splinched myself because of it…"

"When are you two going on a date?" Dorcas asked, happily applying more dittany to my shoulder.

"We're not," Rachel groaned. "I'll likely not see him again."

"What do you mean? Doesn't he know-?"

"Of course he doesn't," Rachel hissed. "I didn't tell him in school. Why would I tell him now, now that I never even see him? What good would it do?"

Dorcas shook her head thoughtfully. She had a way of pretending she knew exactly what all of her friends should do in regards to love, but as she'd never been on a date they regarded her input as suspect at best.

"What you need is dinner," she finally said with a smile. "I've made lamb."

"I like lamb," Rachel sighed.

"I know," Dorcas said cheekily. "That's why I made it. You know, Fabian likes lamb too…"

"Shut it."

The two girls laughed as Rachel covered her shoulder and moved into the kitchen where dinner for two was already laid out.

"So where did you see Fabian, then?" Dorcas asked. "Was he buying books? Please tell me he was buying books."

"Why would he be buying books?" Rachel said, blushing as she looked down at her knife with interest. "No, I was buying Floo and we ran into each other and we had tea…"

Dorcas squealed predictably and Rachel closed her eyes, wishing she could disappear. At least it wasn't like in school, where she and Marlene and Holly Elizabeth would look for signs that Fabian liked her and pass them on.

Obviously, they had been wrong the whole time, but it hardly mattered anymore. Fabian had made it quite clear to her at tea.

"He's got his fighting," she said, trying not to sound bitter. "As have you. He doesn't need me. I suspect he doesn't want me to complicate things."

Dorcas snorted.

"Rachel, you two were inseparable in school."

"Until seventh year," Rachel said softly, cutting her lamb with renewed vigor.

Seventh year Rachel had begun to focus on research. She needed something to drown the loss of Mary in, something to focus her anguish at being orphaned on, something to distract her from war and pain.

She'd spent her time either in the library or picking people's brains about Dark Magic. Mostly, she had focused on time with Sirius, who knew more about Dark Magic than anyone she knew but Severus Snape. And few people disliked Snape more than Rachel.

"Maybe he was jealous of Sirius," Dorcas teased, as she liked to do. "Remus used to say-"

"I don't care what Remus used to say," Rachel said sternly. "He made it perfectly clear that connections of any emotional weight were a liability. I don't know why you keep me."

Dorcas raised an eyebrow.

"Rachel, who would scream things I don't understand about spores from the next room if I didn't have you?" she said. "I couldn't sleep without it."

Rachel took a large bite of lamb.

Dorcas hardly ever slept at normal hours, mostly because she kept strange hours both at the hospital and doing things for Dumbledore. Rachel knew that Dorcas was lying because she made a point of leaving Dorcas with a quiet flat when she had the opportunity to sleep, running errands, visiting friends who hadn't sold their souls to Dumbledore, going to a wizarding library to do more research.

But she appreciated Dorcas not pushing her away as others had done. As Fabian had pointed out, she and Dorcas had been like sisters ever since they'd met on the Hogwarts Express, and now that Rachel literally had no other family, she didn't think she could have handled the war around her constantly without Dorcas.

"Have you been looking into the houses I showed you?" Rachel asked.

"You didn't show me anything."

Rachel rolled her eyes.

"I know you looked at the brochures, Dorcas. I left them right on top of your tea tin to ensure that you couldn't miss them."

"I know," Dorcas sighed. "I've misplaced them, actually, but I did read them."

"And?"

"And I like all the ones you marked, of course," Dorcas said with a snort. "I don't know why you bother asking my opinions on these things, Rachel. You know we're practically the same person when it comes to stuff like this. Just tell Alodia that we approve of all of those ones, and let them work it out from there."

Rachel nodded, making a mental note to herself to talk to Alodia.

Especially after what Fabian had told her about the Death Eaters, she couldn't wait to move into a house with more friends instead of just the flat with Dorcas. She suddenly felt like her home wasn't as secure as it had been that morning.