Hey Guy's sorry again that it's been so long since I updated, having a rough time, Christmas and new year's not long ago, but this chapters up and hopefully I'll get the next one up before I go on holiday :3 also I know this is written in third person so you're probably thinking why the fudge is there Stan's p.o.v ect… I just prefer to focus on like one person, I know it's not grammatically correct but everyone has their own style of writing, anyway~ Hope you enjoy yet another build up chapter ;) Please R&R, F&F (rate&review, fav&follow)

~He seems alone and silent
thoughts remain without an answer
Afraid and uninvited
he slowly drifts away

Moved by desire and fear
Breaking delicate wings

Lifting shadows
off a Dream once broken~

~Stan's P.O.V~

The bed was ice-cold when the young ebony crawled into it, his skin shivering at contact 'Damn heating has to break in the middle of winter' he thought as he curled himself up in attempt to contain and gain more heat.
"Expecting another tonight" he mumbled allowed and sighed, the repeated dreams causing somewhat of a disturbance to the boy's day-to-day life. He can't act like the dreams didn't bring comfort to him, because they did, they weren't overly happy or sad but he really did question why he was having these dreams a whole load. At first, he didn't mind but now he honestly didn't want to dream about all the stuff being brought up… his sub-conscious mind on the other hand had other plans.
"Unfulfilled desires" he stopped and laughed a bit, it didn't help, he was going through all books in the library about dreams to figure out why it was repeating, the only reason he was trying so hard was because he'd never really had such a prominent recurring dream like this one; the books in the library had many terrorizes as to why we dream such as; being a reflection of our everyday experiences, being caused by a series of images, emotions, desires, and sounds that are experienced throughout the day that our brain is trying to give a meaning to that we can't normally because our mind is too awake to decipher them, all of which just caused more assumptions to possible conclusions of Stan's repeated dreams.

Of all the time he took up arguing with himself about it the boy had passed out quietly on his bed, snoozing lightly, looking a little more peacefully now than before.

-
~~
"Hey dudes" Kyle called as he walked over to his three friends at the usual stop to wait for the school bus,
to which Kyle's greeting was brought a sudden fit of laughter from Cartman, "What a dork!"
"What?" Kyle questioned a little concerned,
"Nice jacket, Kyle! Polyester is really the hot fabric this fall!" The younger plump male continued to laugh even harder this time
"Well, but… this is the jacket I always wear." He stated a little blandly, wondering why his friends were wearing new clothes and acting so… queer.
"You've gotta get with the times, girlfriend." His best friend Stan stepped forward to speak in an insulting manner of 'bitches please just follow the trends like everyone else' in which Cartman replied
"Yeah, that jacket is so September 10th."
"Oohh my God, you got splotches on your neck. Are you using any exfoliating products at all?" Stan queried swiftly, grabbing Kyle's arm and taking in a deep analysis of Kyle's entire body,
"We can't let Kyle out in public like this, you guys." Cartman stated following by a confirmation mumble from they're friend Kenny.
"Come on, Kyle! We're giving you a makeover!" Stan beamed getting overly excited with the situation now
~~

Stan sat on his bed legs hung over the end, 'they were always the same' he thought; the dreams… they always were memories or experiences he'd had with his four friends in the past… most of the time focusing around his friendship with Kyle but this dream really did kick the bucket for him, he remembers the crap they got up to back then, not like he wanted to, but acting Gay for a period of time… and come on acting that gay would cause anyone to remember for life, that being said he remembers most of the crazy shit they got up to as kids, but this one dream did it. All the Kyle and Stan memory lane dreams, the pairs close relationship in each and this last one, not to mention the one he had a while back about him fucking Kyle, how it wasn't noticed then, but accepted now none the less, his mind has been with-out a doubt trying to prove he has a gay urges, at least that's the conclusion the ebony had come to.

'I guess now is the time to prove it at least' Stan thought as he walked through the entrance of the school gates, he was all too curious to see if he actually did have these urges towards his ginger friend, but the more the thought about proving the urges with Kyle the more it dawned on him… the last time he'd seen his super best friend forever was outside his house a while back and it didn't end well, though it's obvious people don't get over others that easily so he shook off the thought and still went to pursue the proof.

- Hey Wendy, I can't date you anymore sorry it's just not working out, I need to sort something stuff out in my life, hope we can still be friends x-
~FU if you think that'll happen I won't be taking you back this time Stan make this choice wisely~
- You just made it for me… sorry-

His relationship with Wendy had gotten to a point where he really couldn't tolerate her anymore, she had changed and he realized now he wasn't prepared to just sit back and take her shit any longer, the love he had for her had been dying for a while now and he'd just never noticed it. For high school social stats he can't say he wouldn't have like to just stick it out, being two of the popular kids and going out kept them at the top of the social food chain. He would have just kissed Kyle found out and had done with it, but Stan really didn't want to be a cheater, on anyone's books so breaking up with her was the only way, and what if he actually did enjoy gay stuff? Then he can't date Wendy anymore because he's gay? Stan didn't get any of this at all but being honest with your self is what counts so it was really the only reason he was doing all this.

Later that day while making his usual afternoon track out of class, across the court-yard, along the corridors to his locker, he was stopped, amidst the corridors just like every other student. He was frozen solid staring at nothing but the sight before him, sashaying the path of the corridor like it was nothing came two boys hand in hand, smile pasted on each face as they let everyone stop and stare. At the moment as hard as it was to believe, it was like one of them cartoon scenes where people walk into locker doors, cause man, Stan swore he saw someone do just that not but two seconds ago, jaws were dropped in awe, time had literally stopped for the pair so everyone could watch in disbelief and process what they were witnessing, well it seemed to stop, momentarily, cause once he'd blinked they'd turned the corner, leaving him to gather his bearings and find the first person that could explain this.
"Clyde! Hey man." Stan called running over to him by his locker, Clyde stuck up hand and made a sort of peace sign, his way of saying Hello or acknowledging your there,
"Did you not see that? Kyle and Kenny! Come on dude"
"Yeah I saw it," Clyde shrugged, "What of it?"
"When did that happen?"
"Don't know not long ago I think, but isn't there more recent news like you and Wendy?" Clyde queried, Stan was turning on his heel to run off and find his friends… well they were still his friends right? He wasn't entirely sure where he stood with them now, but even more reason to run off and find them.
"It's been like 3 hours and you already know man?" Stan's voice sounded slightly pissed, "I couldn't give a fuck right now, talk to you later" he called back before running off, Clyde just shrugged again before closing his locker and walking off towards the cafeteria.

As Stan quickly followed the trail of his two friends he thought for a bit, it wasn't a done thing, not in South Park… to be seen holding hands with the same-sex… well that is unless you're a girl then by all means be queer as fuck while all the guys jackoff over you. The amount of homophobic rednecks in this town that would gut you alive if they found out was pretty high, so most gays tend to keep it on the down low. At the moment though the issue wasn't even about gays in South Park, it was gay's in school. It wasn't done, the last kid, butters when he was found sucking Bradley's dick in the janitor's closet he got the shit kicked out of him for months, well maybe because it was Kenny that stopped the beatings on Butters, Kenny thinks he can get away with acting gay in school, I mean people have known for a while that he's a bit of a man whore… and he's never got much shit for it… that must be why, it's just because Kenny can get away with this shi-

"Ow! Watch where you're going!"

~Kyle's P.O.V~

The ginger haired male turned quickly to greet the person who didn't care enough about the real world to pay attention to where they're going, but swallowed hard when he seen the taller ebony stand before him
"Oh, hey sorry Kyle I was looking for you, mind if we talk" Stan smiled a bit,
'Who the fuck does he think he is, smiling?! Does he completely forget everything that happened' Kyle thought angrily, though watched as Kenny's defense kicked in and stood tall in front of Kyle, Kenny was a good 2 inches taller than Stan so at least had that on him, but Stan still stood there smiling like an oblivious idiot. Kyle tapped Kenny's arm and signaled that he could move.
"Sure what about?" Kyle asked, struggling to keep his voice from sounding like he was gargling venom,
"Just stuff, alone" Stan pointed in the direction of the roof were the four friends used to eat lunch together, they haven't done so in about three weeks. Stan looked up to the boy to see if he planned on coming but still could only see about half of the ginger as the other half was blocked out by Kenny planting himself protectively in front of him, Kyle was debating whither to let Kenny stand there and take pass the message or actually comply with Stan, even after everything being alone with him was going to be a little difficult especially now, though his question was answered when Stan stepped forward challenging Kenny, "You have a problem?" The ebony asked sternly,
"Yeah, you're my problem" Kenny spat bitterly stepping towards Stan attempting to tower him, Kyle quickly took his place between the two boy's before a fight broke out,
"It's fine Kenny I got this" Kyle said sweetly flashing a genuine smile to his blonde partner, Kenny though a little dubious questioned if he was sure but Kyle just nodded standing on his tip-toes to place a small kiss on Kenny's cheek before putting his hand in front of him to signal to Stan that they were leaving. Something in Stan's eyes looked like he was in pain for a split second but Kyle just laughed it off not as much pain as he's in right now.

The pair reached the roof and stood there silently for a second before the ebony taller male spoke first,
"So… you and Kenny then? How did that happen?" he questioned dubiously,
"Long story, he was there when I need someone most, and I was also his crush the school had rumored about for ages" Kyle shrugged walking further out onto the roof
"oh…" the ebony stuttered for a second possibly contemplating a way to word what he was to say next "Well are you going to break up with him"
"What why would I?!" Kyle snapped a little frustrated by this,
"I mean it's Kenny it's not like things are going to last between you two and I just I want to test something, I want to know for sure…" Stan informed his friend but Kyle stood there defenses growing and quiet confused as to where all this came from that made Stan interested somehow,
"Look Stan I never ask for Kenny to fall for me...god knows though I'd never get from you what I get from him...no matter how much I'd rather I did" Kyle spoke bitterly
"Well you don't know that do you! I mean if you really wanted to you could try you'd still need to break up with him."
Things between the two boys were getting a little heated you could feel the tension grow between them and neither boy like that he wasn't getting his point across, the speech between each other went on like a dance, carefully avoiding to step on a mine the other had laid down.

"If I break up with him what could you provide me that I don't already get from him? What reassurance do I have here?" Kyle challenged
"Well you confessed to me, so you love me still I mean you could have gotten over it that quick so you'd be fulfilling your own hearts desires"
"Stan what do you care anyway? What is it to you whom I decide to be with? You completely rejected my feelings the last time what's so different now?"
"It's not really my place to tell you who to be with but look just dump him people tell you to follow your heart wouldn't you rather be with me? And I care plenty we've been friends all these years it hasn't been for nothing" Stan's voice was deepening in tone anger starting to bubble as was Kyle's but the ginger boy's patients were wearing thin
"What guarantee is there that you won't change your mind?" Kyle questioned
"There isn't any Okay you're just making this more difficult than it has to be, love is love and I'm sure you love me more so just dump him or I swear I will tell his dad he's queer." Stan snapped anger getting the better of him,
"Yo..you wouldn't" Kyle stammered in disbelief, "He's your best friend man th..that's just cruel,"
"Watch me." Stan finished bluntly.
Moments went by with neither of them saying a word, Kyle was shifting awkwardly from leg to leg, mouth scrunching up as he thought, it looked like he wanted to burst, scream and throw a fit that an eight year old's would when they don't get what they want. Stan started to realize he wasn't the only one with a temper and took two steps back from Kyle as he was about to speak, much to Stan's surprise Kyle's words were screamed at the top of his lungs,
"YOU'RE HOLDING ME EMOTIONALLY HOSTAGE YOU KNOW, HOW COULD I EVER LOVER SOMEONE WHOM HAD HELD ME CAPTIVE LIKE THIS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE POSITION YOU'RE PUTTING ME IN AND YOU THINK I'LL SOMEHOW APPRECIATE THIS WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER, HOW DO YOU KNOW I WON'T RESENT YOU FOR IT? SERIOUSLY STAN WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME! WASN'T YOU'RE REJECTION ENOUGH, WASN'T YOU, MY BEST FRIEND LAUGHING IN MY FACE ENOUGH? OH NO APPARENTLY YOU WANT ME TO DROP THE ONE PIECE OF HAPPINESS I HAVE NOW AND FOR WHAT? YOU? ARE YOU TRYING TO ADMIT SOMETHING HER…"
"YES KYLE! YES I AM" Stan shouted back, stopping Kyle in his tracks… "Look Kyle… I think I've urges… towards the same gender" the ebony's words came out broken and forced, completely uncomfortable with admitting it, nothing was said for what seemed like ages, but was probably about a minutes, Stan looked up to see Kyle's face had dropped,
"You're Gay?" Kyle questioned
"No."
"Then what?" Kyle went to finished before remembering the actual problem at hand here, "Anyway that's not the point, even if you were gay, why come back to me?! You turned me down or was that event completely void of your memory, you said in the hospital if I turned you away then I turned you away for good but here you are,"
"Kyle catch yourself on, I mean we're friends I didn't mean to come across how I did back when you confessed I really didn't think you were serious, but I mean if you can tell me now that people, or you in particular can get over someone they loved that fast then I'll leave but I came to you because you said you loved me, I thought if you still did you'd help me prove that I could like guys or I do, I don't know how this all works, I mean I dumped Wendy to try prove this to myself, Kyle I'm offering you now, think about it" Stan's spoke bluntly but tone still soft like he felt he was truly speaking to a friend, it eased Kyle's past troubles just a little, 'all them years of being friends would have gone to waste if I held a grudge against Stan for a little misunderstanding' Kyle thought,
"I.. I don't even know what you're offering me" Kyle spoke quietly, something was telling him he knew exactly what it was, but didn't want to believe it,
"The chance to try this thing, see how it works" Stan's tone was quite awkward, he really didn't understand at all.

This wasn't good, at all. Kyle was stuck between the world he wanted and the world he'd found happiness in, it's not like any of this happiness was going to last, anything he would get from Stan wouldn't either but damn it as a dying wish he's probably take up the offer to be with Stan any day, I mean he's right, people don't get over someone they love that quickly, Kyle still had feelings for him, everything had to be weighed out perfectly here. The ginger boy held his stomach and stumbled to the ground as his head began to spin, over thinking was not going to help, he needed to know now what to do, follow his head or his heart as people say, but it didn't help when both of them were torn, the young males heart wanted both choices in romance, Kenny because of the happiness he was providing right now, and the growing feelings for him, and Stan because the feelings are still very strong, his mind had other things to worry about though besides romance, like whither to tell Kenny or not, I mean he was going to have to he couldn't just act like nothing was going to happen Kenny might end up leaving him but it had to be done. Kyle's mind however was trying to help, warning him of the possibility that Stan wouldn't provide the happiness and comfort he wanted, or live up to what Kenny could provide, that if Stan actually knew he wouldn't be offering whatever this is, his mind was also reminding him of incidences from the past load of weeks, that pinned Stan as the bad guy… Kyle heard faint mumbling and snapped out of his daydream,

"Dude! You alright you don't look so good" Stan commented offering him a hand up,
"I'm fine just thinking" Kyle seen the hand, but pretending he didn't and stood up on his own, stumbling slightly he put his hand on the wall to support himself, "Look Stan, you said if I didn't dump Kenny that you'd inform his parents of his sexuality, as you probably understand, I'm completely against that, I would be even if I wasn't dating the person. I think it makes you extremely low, the fact you would use that threat makes me question why I have feelings for you, but if you were ever to follow through with the threat then my feelings for you would quickly dissipate. I didn't make you break up with Wendy you choice to, you probably should have spoken to me about this first before making any rash decisions but I decided to date Kenny…" Kyle stopped for a second coming short on breath to talk but didn't want Stan stopping his already good speech so powered through a little horsish "I just wish you could be happy for me instead of, this I mean I can't deny I was surprised, and really wanted to accept your offer, I still have feelings for you, but there are many reason… reasons I can't… right now, we're stil…still friends"
Stan's jaw was slightly ajar, he wasn't expecting to be turned down, now he had to sort all this shit out, he turned on his heel storming off quiet suddenly, just in time to miss Kyle weakly collapse to the floor,
"Fine!" Stan called, "But this was you're only offer, don't think you can come crawling back when Kenny's fucked you and had done with you!"
Stan was about to open the door to the roof when it opened for him,
"Kyle lunch is nearly over what ar…" Kenny stopped dead as he seen Kyle half-conscious against the fence, in the blink of an eye he'd picked Stan up by the scruff bringing them face to face "THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HIM MARSH!" Kenny spat violently
"What nothing?" Stan was confused, quickly looking back to see what happened and whiteness his 'best friend' out cold on the floor.

A/N I might bring back the peanut gallery for the last few chapters :3 contemplating it, review and tell me if I should