"River why don't you go and get changed?" the Doctor suggested, desperately trying to stop them having that conversation. He couldn't think about it. He couldn't think about giving their baby up when she desperately needed their protection and love. Clara Amelia was their daughter and he wasn't prepared to just give her up. "River, I'll look after her," he declared, holding his arms out as he glanced down at his wife's blood stained outfit. He couldn't keep staring at her outfit and thinking about how close she'd been to death, how close their little girl had been to death as well in her desperation to protect her mother.

"I'm not leaving her," River muttered, keeping Clara close to her chest as the Doctor sighed and knelt down in front of her, his fingers brushing against Clara's dark hair as River watched his fingers.

"You're covered in blood River, you need to change," the Doctor insisted, River's eyes glancing down at the stains before she slowly passed the baby to her husband. "My beautiful girl," he whispered, brushing his lips against Clara's head before River slowly stood up, still exhausted from the traumatic experience. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked, watching his wife as she nodded in determination and quickly moved towards the door with the help of various items of furniture before disappearing from sight. "You need to wake up Clara, you're scaring your mummy," he whispered, sitting down in the rocking chair before sighing. "Clara Amelia you need to be as strong as your mum and you need to be as strong as your grandparents," he stated as he rocked her slowly, realisation hitting him. His dangerous life style had caused this. The danger that surrounded both him and River had done this to their baby. How many more times would her life be risked? How many times would she be able to survive before she ran out of chances, especially seeing that she'd lost all her lives? River had lost her lives saving him and Clara had lost her lives saving her mother.

"Doctor," River said quietly from the doorway as he looked up and stared at her. "I can't do this," she said weakly, shocking her husband as tears ran down her cheeks. "I can't… we can't risk her life because we don't want to give her up," she sobbed as the Doctor shut his eyes, not wanting to hear what else she had to say. "What were we thinking? How could we be decent parents?" she laughed through her tears, clearly angry at herself now.

"River we're her parents, we love her," he insisted, opening his eyes to stare at his distraught wife.

"Yes, we love her Doctor and that's why we can't keep her," River explained, moving towards them as he shook his head. He wasn't listening to this. He wasn't going to just give up on their family. "She nearly died because of me; she's given up all of her lives because of me. She could have lived for years, travelled everywhere but now she's got just the one life," she said quietly, smiling weakly when her husband moved Clara slightly to allow her to sit on his lap.

"You've only got the one life and you've not wasted any of it, you've travelled," the Doctor declared, remembering seeing River in the hospital bed after she'd sacrificed her lives for him.

"I was able to make the decision; I've never regretted it and I'd lived for years before I'd done that for you. Clara is three weeks old Doctor, she isn't able to make decisions like this," River said quickly, taking her daughter into her arms again as he watched her. She was blaming herself, that was clear to him but he didn't know how to make it better.

"We can't just give her up River, she's our daughter," he said quietly, unable to take his eyes off the small child. "We're a family," the Doctor whispered as River rested her head against his shoulder and remained silent.

"And that's why we need to do what's best for her. She's our daughter and we have to do what's best for her, we can't be selfish," River insisted before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Clara's head. "We have to do what's best for her and we can't keep risking her life. Our lifestyle is too dangerous for Clara, we can't keep her around this," she explained as he shut his eyes, hating how much sense she was making. He knew that River was right but he wasn't prepared to give Clara up yet, not when River had been so desperate to keep their daughter when she'd first found out she was pregnant. "I want her to have a safe life; I want her to be loved and safe Doctor."

"You didn't have your parents," the Doctor began, receiving a glare from his wife. "Your childhood…"

"That was something completely different. I knew nothing else, I was taken away from my mother from the moment I was born Doctor, she's been loved by her. I was brought up to be a weapon but we could find her somewhere where she'd be loved and safe. I won't risk her life anymore Doctor because we want her, we're not meant to be parents," she stated, tightening her hold of Clara however at the thought of losing the small child.

"If we do this, I want her to go to Earth," the Doctor said quietly as River nodded. "I want her to have the chance to live a normal life," he explained as River shut her eyes to hide her tears.

"I don't want to know where she goes," River immediately blurted out, shocking him slightly. "If I know there's always going to be the possibility that I'll change my mind and try and get her back," she said quietly as she stood up, still holding Clara close to her body. "Find her people who will love her and make her feel special, who will treat her like the most important person in the world."

"River if we do this we can't change our minds suddenly," he explained, moving towards her as she rested Clara into the small cot. Her beautiful girl, was she actually prepared to do this? "River if you have any doubts about this…" he began.

"She's my baby Doctor and I will always love her and that's why I need to do this. I need to protect her from the life we live," she explained before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Clara's head again before stepping away and turning around to glance at her husband, ashamed at how quickly she was giving up on their daughter. "I'm doing this because I love her, I'm doing this because I love her," she whispered, trying to convince herself that she was right as the Doctor moved towards her and wrapped his arms around her body.

"We're doing the right thing River and I'll make sure that she's loved," he promised as she buried her face into his shoulder. "I love you Mrs Doctor," he whispered into her hair, hating how weak she suddenly seemed. This wasn't his wife, she just seemed so crushed and he didn't know how to make it better. "We could live a normal life. We could live a normal family life, just the three of us River. We could at least try," the Doctor said quickly as she laughed quietly at his suggestion.

"I love you Doctor and I know you'd do that for us but we wouldn't be happy," she said quickly. "You were born to explore the universe and save people; you could never work a nine to five job and live in a house. We would never suit school runs and play dates, it's not who we are," she explained, laughing at the look of horror that covered his face at the various things she'd just described.

XOOXOXOXXOOXXOOX

Standing in the pouring rain, the Doctor remained silent as he watched the young couple in the distance who were standing by the small grave. How had he missed this? How had he missed this when he been researching Clara's past? Watching as the man wrapped his arm around his wife, the Doctor sighed as he watched the grieving couple who had lost their baby months ago and were about to look into adoption in their desperation for a child. Watching them slowly move away, the Doctor slowly approached the grave to see the name that was carved into the stone. These people were desperate for a child and he needed a couple who adored each other and would adore a child, something that he'd already seen in his past research.

"So this is where Clara Oswald begins," he said quietly, unable to stop some tears from forming at the concept of leaving his daughter. Turning around, the Doctor quickly approached the parked TARDIS before stepping inside to see River sitting by the controls, her fingers brushing across the various buttons. "They'll adore her River," he stated as she turned to face him. "They'll love her like their own child and they'll encourage her to explore the world," he explained as she nodded slowly and smiled weakly. "I'll always watch over her River and I'll always keep her safe, no matter what."

"I know Doctor, I trust you."

One, I am so sorry for my terrible updating recently. The summer has been chaotic and I've been so busy and I've literally only got ideas coming to me now.

Two, I don't really like the chapter but the next chapter will be better probably and have more stuff happen in the next few chapters. The Doctor and River will also become more like their normal self but River has been through a lot in the last couple of chapters so she probably won't be as strong as she is on the programme.

Three, I know I've played around with Clara's parents backstory but it worked for the story so hopefully you don't mind.

Anyway please review, I love hearing from you.