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Lisbon slammed her hand down on the alarm clock with a groan. She had not slept well. Her fitful dreams had been plagued by shadowy figures and green eyes. She grabbed her makeup bag and headed for the bathroom, stopping just outside the door. The memory came flooding back to her. The feel of his rough beard on her cheek, her hands in his hair, the soft scarf rubbing against her neck. "A life. With you." he had said. Her brow furrowed as she thought about what that could mean; for both of them.

She loved him, there was no denying that. And he cared about her; she had always known it. But the nagging questions in her mind had wondered what kind of love he had for her. All the vague references had been enough to make a girl go insane. She had resigned herself to the fact that he would never move on from the family he lost. Now, just as she was just starting to move on, he kissed her. Now he finally clarified his feelings. Now he expected some sort of an answer. Lisbon's heart pounded as she remembered the passionate way he had looked at her. It was all she had hoped for, for so long. But something in the back of her mind was holding her back.

XXXXX

"He's here!" Jane called up the stairs.

Lisbon took a deep breath and wobbled down the winding staircase. The black heels and short dress were definitely not her style. She grumbled under her breath as she tugged at the skirt. Jane greeted her with a warm smile and cheerful hello. She thought she caught a glimpse of uncertainty beneath his carefree mask, but it quickly vanished into a casual smirk.

"Nice dress." Jane teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Thanks. This insane con-man I know picked it out for me."

He rolled his eyes and took her hand under his arm.

"Here we go." he said, opening the door. They made sure to chat and laugh casually as they went; something that surprisingly wasn't hard to fake.

XXXXX

"Now what?" Lisbon asked as they walked back into the house an hour later.

"Now we wait."

We wait. What a perfect metaphor of their relationship, she thought with a bitter smile. Always waiting.

The drive with Mckaye had been intense, but pleasant. Jane and she were back to their normal, joking selves. Everything had seemed so natural.

Jane poured some champagne and motioned for her to take a seat on the opposite couch.

"About last night, Jane..." she said hesitantly.

He just looked back at her with those piercing green eyes.

"I don't think I'm ready for this yet." She faltered. "Whatever 'this' is. I don't know what to say, expect that nothing is easy right now." She looked down and toyed with the glass in her hands.

He remained silent.

"I had just finally started to think about moving on from everything that happened, when you came back into my life. I could go for days without thinking about Red John, or how much I missed the team, and the CBI…and you. It's been like a magical dream, you being back; this job, these people. But there hasn't been anything about being with you again that's lead me to believe you…um...liked me." She blushed deep red. "Our...relationship has meant so much to me. I just need some time to think about things." she stopped.

Silence had never seemed louder than it did at that moment. She looked up hesitantly, and he finally spoke.

"I guess I've been trying to find a way to express 'things' since I came back." Jane acknowledged. "I don't think I even knew how I felt. I sure didn't want to admit it to myself. It's been at the back of my mind, waiting to come out. But being here, 'playing house' with you, everything finally came to the surface."

Another long silence. She wanted the same things Jane did, Lisbon admitted to herself. She wanted a normal life. A home with someone who loved her. A stable person to come home to every night. Her fantasy had always been a relationship like that with Jane. But even in her wildest dreams, she knew it would never be reality. So she had blocked out the images. She had tried to replace them with something new. And now...

Could they really ever be "normality" for one another? Patrick Jane, the wounded egotist with the beautiful soul. The man who had killed to avenge those he loved. He was fiercely loyal. Unbelievably sweet. An infuriating know-it-all. Teresa Lisbon, the woman who had stood by his side and helped him get his final revenge. His partner, his best friend, and now...his lover? He knew her better than anyone else in the world, but what kind of a life could they have with the history between them? All the times he had left her, lied to her, betrayed her. All this times she had stood and watched him walk away, not knowing if she would ever see him again.

He was gazing out at the driveway. "It's ok, Lisbon. You don't have to say anything. I just want you to know i'm here for you. I know that this probably goes against everything you know about me; but I'm not leaving until you leave me. I'll keep holding out until I get an answer. And I'm always going to love you." Her breath caught. He loves me. She watched Jane's face as he continued to look out the window. When he turned back towards her, he gave one sad smile before putting his guard up.

"It's show time."

XXXXX

Lisbon had been more than a little taken aback by Jane's confession. In fact, she had been terrified. Flattered and awestruck, yes, but terrified. That's why, when Pike looked at her with those big adoring eyes and asked her to have pancakes with him, she said yes. He told her right away how he felt. There was no hidden meaning under layers of emotion and pretense. The words couldn't be interpreted in a thousand different ways that would lead to a thousand different questions. Marcus Pike wanted to get to know her. He thought she was beautiful. Straightforward confessions had never been one of Jane's strong suits. Until now. She pushed that last thought out of her mind, giving Pike a confident smile.

She was just grabbing her coat and purse when Jane walked in with a boyish smile lighting up his face.

"Where are we going?" he asked lightly.

There was an awkward pause as Pike made a few hand gestures and hesitantly invited Jane to go along. She held her breath.

"Oh no, you kids go have fun." He said casually.

Lisbon gulped and tried not to look at him. Why does everything have to be this difficult?

"Good night, Jane." She squeaked out while hurrying towards the elevators, Pike close behind her.

I know that was a lot of talking... and thinking...and contemplating. But things get a little more romantic in the next chapter, i promise.