She wasn't asleep. He could tell from the moment he entered the dark bedroom that she was just lying there, perfectly still while trying to work out what was going on. Approaching her in silence, the Doctor kicked his shoes off before lying next to her on the bed, waiting for her to make the first move. He didn't want to disturb her, he just wanted to be there when she needed him and when she started to demand more answers. Lying in silence, the Doctor sighed when he felt River move beside him before she'd curled completely into his side and had her head resting on his chest, allowing him to play with her hair in silence.

"I'm sorry," River whispered quietly as he glanced down at her, confused about why she was apologising to him. "I shouldn't have left you to deal with everything, I was a coward," she explained as he shook his head, his fingers still playing with her curls as they both remained perfectly still in each other's hold. "I was a coward and I should have stayed, I should have stayed to help you with finding Clara a good home," she muttered, clearly angry with herself as he continued to shake his head, not knowing what to say. Yes, he'd been disappointed that she hadn't stayed to help with their daughter but he knew that she hadn't been able to deal with the idea of losing their little girl to another family.

"River," the Doctor said quietly as she glanced up at him, tears in her eyes. "She's safe, she's loved and she becomes such a beautiful, young and kind woman," he explained as shock covered her face, his wife sitting up in amazement as he remained silent.

"Becomes? You've seen her," she said in amazement as he nodded slowly, knowing that he couldn't lie to River about this. He had to be honest; he had to let her know the complete truth. "Doctor please tell me about our little girl," she begged as he reached up and rested his hand on her cheek, a small smile covering his face as she stared at him.

"She's treated like a princess, the couple who took her absolutely adore her," he explained as River nodded slowly, clearly upset that someone else had taken on the role of parents to their daughter. "And she's so beautiful and strong River," he stated as he sat up and found River's hand, squeezing it tightly as he stared at her. "She is definitely a Pond," he explained.

"She takes after them?" River asked as he nodded.

"I can see aspects of all of you in her River. She's fiercely loyal like Rory was, she's beautiful and feisty like you and Amy and she'd do anything for those who are close to her. She would sacrifice herself for others without a second thought," the Doctor explained as River bit into her lip, unable to stop herself from smiling at his description of their daughter. "She's our daughter River," he stated as he leant forward and pressed a kiss to her lips briefly. "She's still our little girl, no matter where she is," he reinforced, brushing hair away from her face as River remained silent.

"I want to see her," River begged as he shut his eyes, not knowing whether Clara and River meeting would be the best idea. "Please," she whispered as she rested her hands on his cheeks. "If you love me…"

"She was the girl in the other room," he blurted out as shock covered River's face. "The dark haired girl in the nursery was our Clara," the Doctor explained, remaining still when she climbed off the bed and stood in shock, her hands rushing through her hair as she tried to process everything. The girl she'd just screamed at was her daughter? The young woman who'd been in the nursery was her baby daughter? "River, you need to get some sleep and calm down before we do anything," the Doctor stated as River shook her head. She needed to speak to Clara; she needed to explain to her little girl why she abandoned her.

"I have to talk to her Doctor," River blurted out, moving towards the door as the Doctor climbed off the bed and chased after her, reaching the door before River. Pressing his back against the door, he stared at her as she crossed her arms in frustration. She needed to see Clara. She needed to talk to Clara. "Let me out."

"Not until you've completely sobered up," he stated, knowing that he needed to be strong. He couldn't let himself be persuaded by his wife like she usually managed. "You need to get some sleep, you need to calm down and sober up and then we can think about talking to Clara," he explained as she moved towards him, a small smirk appearing on her face as he shook his head. "No River, you won't be able to flirt your way out of this situation."

"Doctor," she began, her hands slowly moving to rest on his body as he continued to shake his head.

"River flirting won't work, I'm not going to let you win this one," he stated as she glanced up at him, clearly frustrated. "You've had a traumatic few weeks and Clara's only just found out about us, about the fact that the people she believed were her parents actually weren't," he explained as he found her hand again. "She's only just found out that she's related to an alien and her whole life has been a lie."

"Don't you think I know that?" River screamed as she stepped away from him in anger. "Don't you think I realise what I've done to our little girl because I couldn't look after her? She's been living a lie, she might have always lived a lie but we have the chance now," she began as she turned to face him slowly. "We have the chance to explain everything to her, we have the chance to make things right."

"River this isn't all about us and our need to make things right," he explained as he moved towards her and gently wrapped his arms around her body. "We have to do what's right for Clara and right now, meeting you while drunk isn't your best idea," he whispered before kissing her gently, her head nodding slowly as she allowed herself to relax into his hold while he leant down and pressed a kiss into her curls.

"Do you remember holding her for the first time?" River asked as they stood together, his arms still wrapped around her body. "She was so small Doctor; I could hardly believe that she was our little girl. I never thought we'd have a baby."

"She was perfect River," he muttered, remembering how Clara had felt as a new born in his arms. "I was scared to hold her," he admitted as River glanced up at him, allowing him to lead her back towards the bed before they both curled up in each other's arms again. "I was scared I'd dropped her, my co-ordination isn't the best it's been and I was terrified that I'd hold our tiny little girl and drop her."

"You didn't though," River whispered as he shook his head.

"I didn't drop her," he muttered before shut his eyes. "But I didn't keep her safe either. I failed her," he said quietly before the room fell into silence once more. "If anyone should have kept her safe, kept you both safe it should have been me," he whispered, feeling River tighten her hold of him as she buried her face into his chest. "I should have protected you both; I should never have let anyone hurt you."

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Stepping into the TARDIS, Clara sighed as she clung onto the blanket she'd had as a baby before shutting her eyes for a moment. She needed to go and see the Doctor, she needed to talk with him about everything, and she couldn't just hide away from the situation. She couldn't hide away from her real father, however much she wanted to at the moment! Opening her eyes, Clara sighed before she slowly started to walk through the corridor and towards where she could hear the Doctor's voice. Pushing the door open, the brunette found herself staring at the Doctor as he danced around the kitchen.

"Hello," she said quickly, shocking him into stopping before he turned to face her. "You look happy," Clara commented as the Doctor shrugged, pointing towards a mug of tea as she nodded and watched him start to prepare her a mug of tea to join the two other mugs. "How's River?" Clara asked before shaking her head, realising that she was talking about her mother! River Song was her mother.

"I'm fine thank you," a voice said as Clara turned, surprised that she hadn't noticed the figure in the corner of the room. "I'm sorry about yesterday Clara," River said quietly as Clara shrugged, not knowing what to say. She'd only met the woman once and she knew that she couldn't mention anything about that to her because they were going in opposite directions, the Doctor had explained that to her after Trenzalore. She'd only met her biological mother once before and she'd been dead. Feeling her smile disappear, Clara quickly moved to sit down as the Doctor watched her in concern, River noticing her change in expression as well. "I'm going to go back now sweetie, I'll see you later," River explained before excusing herself and leaving the room, the Doctor slowly moving to kneel in front of Clara.

"She's dead," Clara said quietly as the Doctor shut his eyes, not wanting to discuss it. "How do you do this?" she asked.

"It's hard to explain but you learn to deal with it," the Doctor admitted as she shook her head slowly. "The day I first met her she died and yet here I am," he explained before moving and sitting a nearby chair. "I'm now married to my best friend's daughter who was raised to kill me, we still go on adventures together and I'm constantly saving her from trouble and then there's the fact that we have a beautiful daughter together. We're living our lives backwards but we're still living our lives to some extent together."

"Does she love me?" Clara blurted out as he smiled and found her hands.

"She adores you Clara, you're always going to be her little girl," he explained as the young woman remained silent for a moment. "I know it's a scary idea and it's not something you expected to find out but I'm here, I'm here if you want to talk and I don't have to be here if you don't want to talk to me. It all focuses on you," he stated as Clara nodded before glancing down at the floor. "She's scared Clara," he commented as she looked up at him in silence. "She's scared of letting you down again."

"Letting me down?" Clara asked quietly.

"I need to explain everything that happened," the Doctor explained as Clara nodded slowly, knowing that something had happened to her as a baby because she remembered him telling her about how River had been shot. "River was shot one night. It was her first night out actually" he stated as she nodded, knowing that had happened. "She wanted to hold you more than anything in the world; the one thing she wanted was to have you in her arms before she died," he whispered as a tear ran down both their cheeks. "But Time Lords have the ability to regenerate and you sacrificed yourself, you sacrificed your ability to regenerate in order to save her and that's why we had to give you up Clara."

"I saved her?" Clara asked as he nodded.

"You saved her, everything would have changed if you hadn't but you did and she's still here because of you," he explained before leaning forward and pressing a kiss to her forehead gently as she remained perfectly still. "We had to give you up Clara because we realised we were being selfish in trying to keep you here, it wasn't because we didn't love you. You needed to be somewhere safe with people who would love you and protect you, not with two people who constantly bring danger to their doorsteps."

"Doctor," River's voice called out suddenly, his head shaking as Clara laughed and watched him turn to face the doorway as the older woman ran in. "I just got the most amazing offer," she explained as she ran into the room, the Doctor standing up as she wrapped her arms around his neck and quickly kissed him. "Ask me what it is," River whispered.

"What's this offer?" he asked, already dreading that he knew the answer.

"The Library, they want me to go with a group of archaeologists to the Library Doctor. It's been empty for years and no one knows why," River beamed as the Doctor forced the smile to remain on his face, even though he felt like his whole world was falling apart around him.

"It sounds amazing sweetie," he whispered before she kissed him again and turned to face Clara, unable to stop herself from smiling as she took in how beautiful the young woman was. "I just need to finish talking to Clara…" the Doctor began as River nodded and slowly walked out of the room before he shut the door and rested his head against it.

"Doctor?" Clara asked quietly.

"The Library's where I first met her," he whispered as Clara remained silent, watching as he slowly turned to face her. "It's where she dies."