Habitat
I played a few more of the pony's games, trying to be a good sport for the pink mare who saved me. Some of them were fun, but all of them were intended for a much younger audience. I got roped into a conversation with a couple of Pinkie's friends and they looked almost as uncomfortable as I felt. I excused myself for some punch. Fizzy lemonade. I held back the urge to drink the cup and leave the punch. Chaos could come later, I reminded myself, having messed up the wheel/carriage game already.
"Pinkie Pie?" I ventured, and she turned around to face me, "Can we stop this whole party business?"
Her face fell and I added a little to my sentence, "I'm curious to see where I'll be living."
She nodded and while disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm, stood on a chair and told everyone that it was time to wind down the party, and that they could take home cupcakes and the like. Most people took the food, leaving only some chips and the punch. The Element girls stayed put, looking at Pinkie and I.
"Can we help you?" I purred, curling over top of Pinkie, "My escort and I have a Princess to find."
If my closeness bothered the filly, she didn't make it known.
"We gotta go find Luna, she said something about Discord's home, and I gotta go with him so I can see where he lives. I need to know if I'm going to be a good escort."
"If you don't mind..." I began to pull away when Rainbow Dash piped up.
"Yes, we do mind. Pinkie not only helped you, but has to watch you and do reports and stuff for the princesses. She's going to be busting her hooves all to see that you're out of that stone prison."
"Treat her well." Rarity said, "I couldn't imagine you living so close to us was a mistake."
I snarled, "Do you mistrust your friend's judgement so badly? Come on Pinkiemena."
I flashed outside. Of all the nerve! I didn't bloody well ask for this! The cobblestones began to change colour, varying hues as I fumed. Growling, I snapped them back to normal. Who wanted gray rocks anyway? How boring. I floated up to the roof, changing a nearby cloud into cotton candy before slurping it up. I watched the trees in the distance billow from a light wind that soon caught my face. I sighed. They were protecting their friend, that was all. I frowned, stroking my beard. How annoying that could become. Though... Pinkie had defended me, getting me out of that stone hell. Hearing the door to the bakery open, I glided back down to earth.
The pink pony trotted out first, coming to stand beside me. The other girls left without looking our way, going toward their separate destinations.
"Let's go find Luna." Pinkie said, walking away. I followed silently, keeping an eye out for the dark princess. But then the party pony had enough to say for the both of us.
"Areyouexcited?I'mexcited!Ican'twait!Iwonderwhereyou'llbestaying?Willyouhaveyourownhouse? Ooooo maybe you'll have a roommate!"
She was so full of energy, I couldn't help but feel energized myself by just looking at her.
"I doubt a roommate would be sanctioned by your dear princesses."
"You're probably right," Pinkie nodded, looking around and deciding to turn left, "Everypony in town already has a home anyway. Wait." She stopped and I watched her with mild interest, "If everypony has a home, and there are no extra homes, how can you have a home?"
I paused, considering her logic. The only way this would work - aside from the roommate idea - would be if one was being built for me. Unlikely but...
"Perhaps I'm to make my own abode... Where's a decent patch of land around here?" I asked, mentally going through all the places I could think of in Ponyville. I could only think of one place...
"Beside the Everfree Forest!" Pinkie burst out before leading the way. I followed, floating beside her. To expel any potential boredom I... changed a few things as Pinkie bounced obliviously. A rock turned green, one blue rose amongst a bed of red, little things that would only be noticed by the observant. Presently, as I floated upsidedown, I saw Luna in the sky. Flashing up to her I asked about my new abode. She boomed that Pinkie was right, that I had a spot of land to work with. Well it was better than it could have been. I could have gotten a boring normal house. Gag. I saw a yellow pegasus in the distance, hovering by the Everfree Forest. I flashed in beside her.
"Hello Fluttershy." I purred, laughing as her wings snapped to her sides and she fell for the earth. She landed in a large stack of pillows, disoriented but unharmed.
"The look on your face was priceless!" I laughed, falling like a piece of paper; back and forth until I rested beside the filly.
"Are you here to see my house?" I questioned lightly, grinning.
"N-n-no." She said quietly
"Ah. You live around here?"
The rose-haired pony shifted uncomfortably and before I could press her Pinkie Pie appeared.
"She sure does!" The pony clambered up the pillows, "She needs to be close to the other animals so she can care for them."
I grinned, my fang still the most prominent, "Marvelous, I'll have a neighbour. Should I find any hurt animals, I'll send them your way."
She nodded as Luna's wingbeats brought me back to the task at hand.
"Ah, we'll talk later." I flashed up to Luna and shrugged when she arched a brow, nodding at the pillows.
"I thought chaos in place of safety could be overlooked."
"Indeed." the corner of her mouth twitched, and I could tell she was suppressing a smile. I snapped, vanishing the pillows. A small shriek and giggle sounded from below as the mares fell to the ground. It certainly wasn't high enough to do any damage, so I gave Luna a look.
"Well? Where's my land?"
"Dost thou have no patience?"
"Nope."
"We thought not." she pointed with her horn, "There. We have marked it with magic, so you will know when you are inside the boundary."
I was silent, floating my way toward where the dark mare indicated. Pinkie bounced below, keeping to herself. I wondered how long it would be before she lost interest in doing reports and the rest of her duties to ensure my 'freedom'. Probably sooner than later. Whenherattentionbeginstowane, thenI'llmakemyescape. I nodded, figuring that should give me enough time to think up some spells to conceal me from the ponies. I felt an odd tingle up my spine and looked around. Luna was nodding so I followed the tingling feeling along its line and discovered I had about two acres. Nice.
"Prepare yourself ladies! Today I-" Cutting myself off I looked at Pinkie, "What day is it today?"
"The thirteenth!" Pinkie frowned, "No wait, that's the date. The day is friday."
"Today, this day of Fry, I, Discord, make the world's first house of chaos!"
Pinkie giggled, watching the land expectantly. When nothing happened she looked back at me. I grinned, landing beside her and looking over the earth with her.
I snapped.
Towers of yellow and aqua burst forth from the ground, bringing with it an array of multifaceted windows. As these monuments pulled out of the ground, so too came the roof of the main building, red and purple shingles on the domed ceiling and a smattering of different stones covered the side. Brick and obsidian alike held the behemoth of a house up, and a large robin's egg blue door popped into the front. It was flanked by torches that shone with a green light. Oh it was a thing of beauty. A water slide appeared from the far left tower to wrap around the house and deposit the rider to the closer right tower - into mud and orange geraniums. Perfect. A pinwheel of epic proportions popped out of the main roof, spinning in a non-existent wind. Luna landed behind Pinkie and I, but I was barely aware of the fact. These things require focus after all.
Trees of all kinds sprung up around my abode, including zap apple trees. Ferns and palm trees, rose bushes and poison joke, and many more random shrubberies grew around the house. I grimaced, magic feeling the hit, and created a pond with sharks in it. That could be fun. I finally stopped, looking around at my handiwork as Pinkie bounced up and down in delight.
"Wowthatwasamazing! ,becauseIsurehaven't!"
"Pinkie, you haven't even seen the inside yet." I smiled, elbows cradling my head as they rested on a bend in my serpentine body.
Her eyes got really wide and my hand swept toward the odd palace, which she bounced toward.
"We trust thou can behave?"
"When did you ever doubt that?" I grinned and the dark princess rolled her eyes before flying up and vanishing to get some well deserved rest. No doubt Pinkie Pie and my new 'freedom' were seen as a big enough deterrent for wreaking unwelcome havoc. It was. For now.
"Diiiiiiiscoooord!" Pinkie bellowed, beckoning me over.
"Yes, yes, fine." I flashed beside her, shoving open the doors to my humble house. The first thing of note, in my eyes, was a green cotton candy fountain that spewed forth fruit punch. Pinkie, however, found the Escherian staircase much more entertaining.
"I don't even understand how this works..." She giggled, hopping up the 'down' stairs, "But I like it!"
I grinned, "Come on, you've got to see this!"
Leading her upstairs we passed several oddities, including a violet that kept changing stages of growth, a flock of flying books, candles that burned water, and a giggling cockroach. I brought her into the bedroom, hovering over to the enormous cupcake-shaped bed and settling down.
"Over there. It's something I was thinking of giving Luna." I waved my paw in the direction of a glass case and watched her trot over.
"Oh wow!" The filly turned back toward me, "That's really nice Discord."
"You realise what it is?"
"Stone?" She looked back at the grayish rock, confused.
"Sort of. It's from the moon."
I could tell she was taking in the sentiment in a new light. It was Luna's hoofprint from the moon, still as big as when she was Nightmare Moon. A small inscription was pressed beneath the hoofprint;
Do not forget.
"...It's nice but it..." the magenta-haired pony was at a loss.
"It's not quite proper. I realise the negative implications some might see in it. That's why I was debating." I paused, but decided to tell the mare anyway, "I thought of keeping it for myself."
She turned back to me, considering. Her bright blue eyes searched mine for a moment. I don't know what she saw, but she nodded. Bouncing over she hopped onto the bed, surprising herself with its great squishiness. She sort of began kneading it like a cat would, and I watched her. The amount of chaos that went into this house was enough to make any creature tired. As it was I... was. A little. Maybe.
I found myself stifling a yawn, letting my head rest on the bed. I felt very dragon like in this pose. As if Pinkie Pie were the treasure I were guarding. She smiled at me, yawning back at my poorly suppressed one. I smiled, mumbling something like an apology. She shook her head.
"It's all right. I'll come back tomorrow and we can figure out the whole report, chaos schedule, crazy whatsits then."
"Sounds good." I snapped, and a black hole appeared next to Luna's hoofprint.
The pink mare glanced at the darkness, then at me, before looking back again. Clambering into it, she walked a few steps before shrieking and laughing. She was going a good clip around the castle, slipping in the water slide. I smiled softly, listening to her shriek and a large bark of laughter I could hear even from here as she landed in the mud. I wasn't that tired... but it wasn't long before I fell into the first restful sleep I'd had in centuries.
I awoke to the sound of elephants. Someonemustbeatthedoor. I grinned, flashing outside and shouting 'Boo!' at the visitor. A shriek of laughter came from none other than Pinkie Pie.
"Discord!" She laughed, "I wasn't expecting that!"
"That's kinda the point you know." I grinned lazily, allowing the doors to swing open. I led the frolicking filly into the kitchen area, the one room with the least amount of chaos. Granted, I could conjure something to eat, but it was never as good as the real thing. And chaos in a kitchen? Not a good thing. Especially for baking - which is as much an art as it is a science.
"I thought we could plan the days for your bigchaosexplosions and then choose meeting days so I can do my report and see if you need more days for mischief making later on." Pinkie spouted as she laid out some papers.
"Looks like you came prepared."
"Well, yeah!" She grinned, sorting out her stacks, "I've got a big job to do."
I nodded, slithering to the other side of the table and conjuring a bright orange cushion to sit on. I got bored rather quickly and watched the curtains. They were white with yellow ducks on them. They moved freely and quacked amongst themselves. I didn't quite trust that they weren't planning on getting free but... what to do?
"Okay! Ready?"
"I hope it's not too boring Pinkie Pie, I do hate being bored."
"Yupperdoodles! I'm going to make this as fun as I can." She pulled over her calendar, "Yesterday was the 13th, did you want to just keep it on the 13th of every month?"
"Fine." I might want to invest in a non-chaotic calendar.
"And we'll do the report... on the 20th of every month?"
"Fine, whatever."
"And visitation to or from the Princesses on the last day of the month?"
"Yes, yes." I grumbled, waving my hand at her, "What next."
"That's almost it. I just need you to look these over and sign." Pinkie slid over the papers, all pre-written letters. One for each Celestia, Pinkie and myself. She's filled in the dates and all I had to do was sign.
"That was... efficient." My brow arched, glancing from the papers to the mare and back. She nodded and proceeded to tell me that it was like baking and one had to be prepared, and why make things complicated, etc, etc. I tuned out after a bit, quickly signing each letter and passing the quill back to Pinkie to sign her sections.
"Okie dokie, that should cover it. If you want to leave town come find me and we'll see when I don't have plans."
I nodded, knowing the pink pony was hardly ever free. I began leading her out, but Pinkie found my horn tagged, 'Squeeze Me Gently'. Before I could stop her she squeezed it, eliciting a loud "AWOOOGAH!" from the small bike horn. After I snatched it from touching the floor I looked tol the young mare who blushed, feeling sheepish.
"Sorry." She murmured.
"It's quite alright Pinkie Pie, you've done a lot for me, a little hassle is worth it."
She smiled, pearly whites gleaming. She thanked me and told me that if I wanted a tour of the non-chaotic Ponyville to find her. I closed the door, making my way through the house. It was chaotic, crazy and... lacking something. But what? We had mirrors that reflected ponies in different rooms, buttons that make random music play... volume also at random... My tub filled with anything from chocolate milk to mud to water or soda. Something was missing... But what could it be? I settled back into the kitchen after scouting the house, confused. IhadanythingIcouldwantandmanythingsIdidn'tneed... I sat there in my silent house, no movement from any living thing but me, wondering.
A/N: Review, thumbs up and favourite!
Big thanks to Demegor, MyLittleTimeLord, and De Carabas (of FIMfiction) for the neat ideas for Discord's house! I'd really like to thank De Carabas for the 'Luna's hoofprint' idea. When you said that it really got me thinking!
Do you think Discord will understand what he needs? Or will someone else figure it out for him? What do you think he needs? Sorry for the short chapter, I'm thinking of changing to 3rd person. Thoughts?
Major thanks to my beta, PinkiePi, for all his help! All mistakes are my own.