Chapter 3: Growing Pains

AN: sorry this is later than I intended. I got caught up in New Year's festivities and heading back to work but I hope you enjoy! thank you everyone who has followed/favorited/reviewed!

He hadn't expected her to ask him to stay and she hadn't expected him to come back. But she did and so did he, and it was something neither of them planned.

But it was something neither of them regretted.

At first she would only see him once a week, find a day to leave to the castle and make her way down to the sea when the guards weren't watching. Somehow he always knew when she would be there. They would talk and laugh and she was endlessly curious about life below the surface and he about life on land.

It should have shocked her, how quickly he became one of the most important people in her life, but it didn't. He was Killian. He was smart and funny and never looked at her as anything more than simply Emma, which she was eternally grateful for.

Soon once a week turned to twice which turned into every other day and eventually they found themselves with a set time every day to meet at the alcove under her balcony.

The first time he had seen her climbing down the castle walls Killian had nearly had a heart attack. "Lass," he had called out. "What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?"

Her foot had slipped when he'd called out to her and Emma shot him a glare. "Climbing down. Stop yelling at me it'll ruin my concentration."

Emma scaled the rest of the wall effortlessly before dropping down onto the sand, dipping her toes into the water to flick some at Killian.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"That this was the easiest way to get down here." She sent him an affronted look. "What? You think I can't handle a simple climb?"

Killian rolled his eyes. "This has nothing to do with your ability to scale the bleeding wall and everything to do with the fact that if you fall there's no one to help you."

"You're here."

"Yes, I am. However," he sighed sadly, looking down into the water. "I cannot go far on land to help if you fall." He used his tail to flick water at her. "Merman, remember?"

Emma yelped, trying to avoid the splash and failing miserably. "It's highly suspicious if I'm drenched in water after supposedly sitting in my room," she complained. Then she smiled softly at him. "Nothing is going to happen when I climb down the damn wall. I promise. And if something does it's my own fault and you can yell for my parents and then disappear." He didn't seem to like this plan and was on the verge of scolding her further when she held a hand up. "Nope. I have enough rules in the castle, you don't get to give me any."

He sighed, lolling back in the water. "Fine. But at least promise to be careful."

"I promise."

"Thank you, love. Now," he swam himself to the shore to sit beside her. "What's new in the land of the walking?"

She sighed dramatically before going off on a tangent about the latest castle gossip and he smiled at her, lost in her expressions and barely hearing the words.

As the two sat on the sand, lost in their conversation, an eel slithered away, barely creating a ripple as it swam down into the darkness.

One day she meets him with her hands on her hips and an expression that can only be deemed obsessed, causing him to raise an eyebrow while waiting for her to speak.

"I want to learn how to swim."

His jaw drops and he flounders. "You- ah, um. You- what?"

"Swim! I want to learn to swim." She begins removing her shirt and he almost chokes. "No one else will teach me, I'm pretty sure my mom can't and my dad is too busy to take the time and you obviously know how so I want you to teach me how to swim." She's babbling and she knows it but he's still staring at her slack-jawed. "What?"

"You want me to teach you how to swim?"

"Yes."

"Me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes!"

"Why?"

"Because you obviously know how to swim and you won't let me drown." Killian gave her a skeptical look, as though he didn't quite believe she was being serious. "I trust you."

"I thought you knew how to swim?"

She shook her head. "I know how to wade. I get can in the water and duck under the surface but that's it."

"Fine." He brought himself as shallow as he could go. "Come on in, the water's fine."

Emma laughed nervously before dropping herself in. The water got as high as her waist, soaking the light shorts she had left on, before she looked up at Killian nervously.

"It's okay. I've got you." She nodded jerkily before continuing in further.

The light tunic she was wearing clung to her lithe form and he forgets how to breathe for a moment before recovering.

She continued forward until the small waves were nearly touching her chin and he gives her an encouraging smile. "You're going to be fine, Emma."

"Says the guy with a fin." Her pulse was beating rapidly against her skin and she could feel fear working it's way up her throat. "Maybe this was a stupid idea."

Killian grabbed on and held her forearms, pulling her into deeper water. "I thought you trusted me?" He joked.

"I do." Her fingers were digging into his arms as he held her afloat. "It's me and the water I don't trust."

"Calm down, you royal chicken." Emma glared at him and he smirked. "It's easy as breathing. Now, I want you to lay out on your belly, keep your head above the water line but lay out."

She gave him a 'hell no' look and he made an impatient noise. "You asked for help. I'm helping." Her grip tightening on his arms she gave a small nod and pushed herself out flat.

"See? Easy." Her grin was full of nervous excitement. "Okay, so…I'm not sure how your bottom half will work best but it'll probably be sort of similar to mine." His tail swished below him.

"I always see people kick when they swim."

"Sounds good to me, darling. Kick away."

Emma began to kick her legs awkwardly and he allowed himself to flow along with her movement, holding onto her arms all the while.

"This isn't so bad," she began to splash less and move faster in the water. "I can see why you like it so much."

He sent her a sarcastic smile. "Because I have so much choice. Swimming for me is like walking for you, it's just what I do."

"Still," her eyes met his through the wet hair plastered around her eyes. "It's kind of amazing. I feel weightless."

Killian gave her a droll look. "You are weightless. You're tiny."

Emma blushed. "Shut up."

He took great delight in causing the flush on her cheeks. "Oh? Can our princess not take a compliment? Your rosy hue makes me think so."

"Killian…"

"I think I may have a new goal in life."

"And what might that be, fishboy?"

He halted their movement, leaning in to her personal space. "To make it happen as often as possible."

The pink in her cheeks turned red. "I hate you," she complained without heat.

"No you don't." He smirked lazily before pulling her back along the path they'd been swimming. "Want to try by yourself? I can let go."

"No!" Her previous annoyance lost in a spike of panic. "I'll drown!"

"Emma." He gave her arms a reassuring squeeze. "You've been doing brilliantly so far. All you need now is to use your arms and then you can swim without me."

"I don't want to swim without you." His eyes widened and she fumbled for words. "I- I mean…it's scary. It's safer with a natural born swimmer with me and seriously what if I just wasn't meant to be in the water and I fall and drown and my legs get stuck in kelp or something and you can't pull me up so I die and then you'll have to explain to my parents that I've been sneaking out to meet my merman friend and that I failed to learn how to swim and then my parents will be devastated and I will have died the most ridiculous death and- "

"Breathe," he urged.

"And what if I can't do it?" she asked in a small voice.

"You'll be able to do it." Killian gave her an encouraging smile, his eyes soft as she bit he lip in doubt. "I've yet to see you fail, love, and I doubt very much today will be any different."

Damn him.

"Kiss ass."

"I prefer the word charming." She rolled her eyes. "Now, on the count of three I'm going to let go of your arms and you're going to swim like a fish."

"Wait- "

"One!"

"Killian I don't think- "

"Two!"

"Please- wait- I just- "

"Three!"

He released her arms and she flailed about in the water for a moment for a moment, cursing his name and every deity she'd ever heard of before finally getting her bearings.

She found herself treading water, keeping her head afloat, and grinned. "I did it!"

"I told you," he said smugly. "And with the mouth of a sailor at that. Born for the sea weren't you, Em?"

She splashed him. "Maybe. Or you could be a decent teacher."

Killian guffawed. "That was all you, lass. I merely provided the floating."

Emma scoffed at him. "Please. Like I would have ever even left the shore without you."

"Yeah, well…"

"Just take the compliment fishboy." And she left him staring off at her and she swam confidently, albeit awkwardly, further into the ocean.

Swimming quickly became their thing. Emma had picked it up rather quickly and loved the freedom the water gave her. She had taught herself how to hold her breath for over two minutes so she could follow Killian down when he wanted to show her something.

It was something that was theirs. She didn't have to share it with anyone else.

But no matter how much she loved the weightlessness or general openness of the water she couldn't shake the feeling that Killian was holding back something. She knew him, backwards and forwards, and whenever they were swimming something was different. He was different. It wasn't until he'd jerked away from her one day while they'd been diving that she figured it out.

She had, unknowingly, almost reached out for his fin when waving him over. He hadn't looked at her and hadn't brought it up after they'd resurfaced but she couldn't quite hide the hurt that he had run so quickly from her.

But she was Emma and she was curious, especially since he was so guarded about it. After that one incident he'd made sure to never have her come so close again. But Emma was rather…obstinate, according to her mother at least. (Her father said she was strong-willed and Snow would roll her eyes and mutter something about apples and trees). So that evening, when she set out to make her usual climb, she had a goal in mind and not even his charming banter was going to deter her from it.

"Good evening, lass." He called out as she shuffled through the sand and she sent him a small nod before wrapping her arms around herself. "How- " he paused, squinting into the water.

"What?"

"I thought I saw…" Killian trailed off uncertainly, watching the water carefully. "Never mind."

The last vestiges of summer were slowly seeping away and the nights were starting to get chilly. But Emma, lover of summer that she was, had steadfastly refused to crack and start wearing coats yet.

"Bloody hell, you're going to catch your death one of these days you stubborn bint."

"Hush. Summer still technically exists for three more days. I will continue to dress as such until then."

Killian's eyes went skyward. "Poseidon help me." He sent her an unamused glare.

"Don't act like you hate my stubbornness. It's one of my finest attributes."

He snorted. "Really? Is that what you've been told? Well, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, my dear, but I think you've been lied to."

Emma stuck her tongue out at him.

"Very mature."

She bowed sarcastically. "Aren't I always?"

He barked out a laugh. "And they call you a princess."

"Only by birth," she quipped. "Not by behavior."

"Believe it or not, I'm well aware of that fact."

She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him again and opted for hard glare that lost its punch by the smile working it's way across her face. "Annoying."

"We've been over this, the word you're looking for is charming."

This time Emma scoffed. He flicked water at her with his tail and their banter lay forgotten in her mind.

"Can we sit on the sand today?" He eyed her suspiciously; she usually joined him in the water. "I'm not delusional enough to want to be soaking wet when I climb back up with the temperature drop."

"Fine," he sighed. Killian made his way to the drop off point and heaved himself onto the sand beside her. "How are you?"

Emma had been watching the way his arms flexed as he lifted himself up and lapsed momentarily. "Hmm? What?"

"How are you? I know summer's end is one of your least favorite times."

Her shoulders deflated slightly. "I just like the warm. And this year it'll be even more annoying. I won't be able to swim anymore. And sneaking out in warmer clothes will be more difficult- it'll restricts my movements."

"You don't have to keep- "

"Don't even finish that thought." Emma gave him an impatient look. "You're my best friend, of course I'm still going to keep coming down. I'll just have to get creative."

Best friend. Best friend. Best friend. Friend. He sighed. "I've no doubt you'll figure it out. You're far more sneaky than anyone has a right to be."

Emma laughed brightly, as though he'd paid her the highest compliment. "Mom always says I'm just like Dad but that one is all on her- the bandit princess and all that."

His brow quirked in question but she shook her head. "A story for another night."

"Does that mean there's a story for tonight planned already? Did you bring accompanying snacks and perhaps puppets to act it out? I always imagined I would enjoy theater- don't worry I won't judge too harshly."

"There is something severely wrong with you."

Killian sent her a wide grin, "Don't be jealous of my wit, love. It's such a wasted emotion."

Emma groaned, dropping her forehead into her hands. "You're ridiculous. Don't!" She pointed her finger at him. "Don't you dare say 'ridiculously attractive' or so help me."

He dropped a hand to his heart. "I'm hurt, Emma. You really think I'd say something as cheesy as that?"

"Only because I know you."

"Git." Emma smiled cheekily at him. "So what's your story for the night? I've yet to hear a good one lately- I've been carrying our conversation for at least a week."

"Excuse you!"

He waved off her offense. "C'mon. Castle life has been boring and you know it. What's this you're so excited to tell me."

"Well…" She began wringing her hands together and he gave her a look. "It's not really a story per se. It's more…a request?"

"A request? Slow as you may be sometimes, I'd have thought you had learned I am not a genie."

Emma ignored his jab and pushed forward. "So is it a yes or no?"

"You haven't even asked me what you want yet!" He laughed exasperatedly.

She sighed. "That's because I'm trying to be strategic."

"By getting me to agree to something without hearing what it is first." She nodded. "Your strategy would require a bit more distraction than that, love." He let his gaze trail from the top of her head, across her face, down her neck and over her shoulders. "Perhaps if you'd gone swimming. The visual enough…" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"I- Killian- you- " she stuttered. He rarely flirted outright with her and her cheeks flamed at his implication. "That is," she tried to recover. "Not the point."

Killian felt pleased in the reaction he'd elicited and leaned forward so her frazzled breath puffed across his cheeks. "I think it's very much the point."

Her eyelashes fluttered and she cursed herself, her hormones, him, and everything in between. "No, it's not." She shoved his shoulder lightly and his skin burned where she had touched. "But if you keep acting like a fool you'll never learn what the point is."

His blue eyes held her green for a brief moment before he shrugged and an easy smile slipped onto his face. "If the lady insists."

She missed his warmth immediately but shoved the thought aside. She had come down here to ask him and dammit she was going to ask him.

"Stop distracting me!"

"You find me distracting?"

"Killian!"

"Fine," he sighed, leaning back on his elbows. "Your request, my dear Emma."

She bit her lip, nervous that he would react poorly. "I just," she struggled. "Whenever we swim you always make sure you never do and so I thought you were, I don't know, self-conscious or something, which is ridiculous because it's you and I swim around without worrying about it. And then I thought maybe it'd be weird or make you uncomfortable or be, like, a violation? But I'm just…I'm curious. It's you and it's me and you know I don't care or anything but I wasn't sure how to ask and so I hadn't but- "

"Gods above, lass. You'd think you were asking for my left hand or something." He gave her a reassuring smile. "Just ask. I promise not to swim away."

Emma exhaled. "Can I- can I touch your fin?"

He blanched. That was, quite possibly, the last thing he had expected to hear from her.

(Undying declarations of lust were at the forefront of his mind but he was only a teenage merman after all)

"My- you want- what?"

"Your, um…your fin." Emma was blushing to the roots of her hair but she'd already asked and dammit she wasn't going to back down. "You always make sure you never touch my legs when we swim so I didn't know…" She looked at him desperately. "I have before. Remember the day I found you?" He nodded almost imperceptively. "It wasn't a big deal then but you- you avoid it and me and I just…" Her voice almost broke. "Do you not trust me or something?"

"That's not- Emma." He scooted himself closer to her, pulling the arm wrapped around her waist free so he could grab hold of her hand. "You know I trust you. You know that full well. I just…" He turned away from her, a pained expression on his face. "It's weird. It's different and I dunno." Killian bit his lip. "I thought it would freak you out, that you wouldn't want anything like this around you."

Emma squeezed his hand. "Hey." He continued to avoid her gaze. "Killian," she tugged harder on their joined hands. "Fishboy. Look at me." Blue met green and she'd never seen him look so vulnerable. "You know I don't care. About any of it. You're Killian and I'm Emma. Merman and princess remember?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I know." He finally released a breath. "Alright. Go ahead, princess."

Her hand trembled before she looked at him, hoping her smile showed that she really didn't care that he had a fin instead of legs. "Relax," she whispered. "It's not the first time."

His shoulders dropped infinitesimally and he gave her a small smile.

"It doesn't feel like a fish."

Killian burst into laughter and the tension broke. "I should bloody well hope not! They're scaly little buggers."

"But you still have scales!"

"Yeah," his eyes were dancing with mirth. "But we have human in us too. I'm not sure, I never paid much attention to the old legends, but I think it's because of that."

It was warm and, the word soft felt wrong but it fit. She could feel the strength from it, knowing he was strong and young and a little too adventurous for his own good. And the color… "It matches your eyes." He raised an eyebrow. "The blue. Your eyes are lighter but they match."

He watched her and she began to feel strange with her hand on him, even though it was warm and felt…right. His eyes bored into her and Emma felt like she was the one being cracked open now. Her eyes darted down and he smiled softly at her.

"All part of my charm, Em."

She let out an amused noise from the back of her throat but still avoided eye contact. "Keep telling yourself that, fishboy."

One afternoon Killian had been in court to see his brother receive military honors and in his rush to leave had forgotten to take his colors off. When he'd arrived Emma had burst into laughter, asking if he had been at a merman ball.

"Shut up," he grinned tensely. He hadn't told her of his title, had avoided it because it wasn't something he was proud of. "I forgot in my rush to leave?"

Emma's chuckles subsided but she still smiled brightly at him. "Where were you? I've never seen you in anything like this." He shrugged and her brow wrinkled. "What? C'mon," she egged him on. "I promise not to laugh."

"I," he paused, wincing slightly. "I was in court."

"Why would you be in court?"

He sighed. "Because it's expected of me by my uncle. My cousins have to attend as well."

"Your uncle?" Confusion clouded her mind. "Why would your uncle care? He's not…"

"He is." Emma stilled, staring at him without any emotion. It was a look Killian knew from his uncle, a look many royals learn when they want to close themselves off. "My uncle is King of the Merpeople. My mother was his sister so I'm a prince. Technically."

If he didn't know better, he'd have thought Emma was a very lifelike statue. She was staring at him like he was a stranger, not the best friend she'd proclaimed him to be. Her lips were taut in a straight line and his heart clenched.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you I just–

"–didn't think it was important?" She said coldly. "Didn't think I might appreciate having someone to talk to who understood all the bullshit I deal with in the castle?" Didn't think knowing the truth about you would mean something?" Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "Of course not. I've only been honest the whole time, why would I expect the same thing from you?"

"Emma, no, wait. It isn't like that!"

"Oh really?" Her tone was completely unforgiving. "So what is it like? Take all the stories the silly human girl tells you and go laugh about it with your royal friends?"

"No! I would never–"

"You also said you'd never lie to me!" She shouted. "And you've clearly broken that promise."

He wished with everything he had he could jump on land and grab her and shake her out of her stubborn blindness. "I never lied! I just never told you."

"Why?"

"What?"

Her hands shook and she crossed her arms defensively. "I want to know why."

Panic clawed at Killian's throat and the words stuck under his tongue, too afraid to leave his mouth. But she was glaring at him, furious and hurt beyond anything she'd ever felt and he could see every inch of it. "Emma…"

"Please," she whispered.

Killian exhaled heavily. "Okay." He nodded absently. "Okay." She finally sat down at the water's edge and had stopped scowling, but her mask of indifference remained in place. "My mother, Moira, is the sister of King Triton. She's younger by a few years but he'd always valued her opinion so she stayed as an advisor. When she was young my uncle was having a celebration for our military's leaders, my father included." He frowned and his next words felt bitter on his tongue. "They fell in love. She was completely taken and he was utterly lost in her. They married and eventually my brother and I were born." He swallowed thickly, his voice suddenly tight. "She died when I was kid, got caught in a net and the fishermen didn't realize until it was too late." Killian couldn't look up, didn't want to see the pity in her eyes.

"Killian," she said quietly but he ignored her, steeling his voice.

"He left. A few months after her funeral, my father couldn't handle it and he left. He abandoned his post as an officer, his seat on the council, and his family. Because looking at the sons who reminded him of his wife was too hard." He clenched his jaw before looking at her. "So I didn't tell you because I hate being a prince, I hate it more than you. Disgrace follows my name and haunts my family."

Emma reached out to grab his hand but hesitated until he looked at her and met the motion. She squeezed his fingers, hoping to reassure him.

"You're not a disgrace." She said lowly. "You could never be a disgrace. And it's not your fault he left."

"Em…"

"It's not." She said forcefully. "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You didn't." He tugged on her hand until she edged closer and let her feet dangle in the water and he pressed his head against her knee. "I'm sorry I hid it from you."

Emma threaded a tentative hand through his hair. "You're already forgiven."

He had never planned for any of this to happen. Being friends with her was one thing- they were two sides of the same coin after all. He understood her and she saw straight through him.

But this. This he was unprepared for. She'd touched his fin for gods sake and it hadn't scared her or weirded her out and he'd opened up about his family and…

He was in far deeper than he had ever planned and he knew it could not possibly end well for him.

(and he had never been more right in his life)