"This is a trident, Lottie." said my father, raising the triple pointed stick up before me. "You won't be using this yet." He picked up yet another object, this one sleek, black, and with a triangle in a point at the end. "This is my spear."
My four-year-old eyes gleamed at the new spear, so much nicer than the handmade wooden one I had been using. "Can use this one daddy?"
My father shook his head. "You haven't even fished in water yet, and won't for a while. Right now, I am still teaching you how to throw and how to stay calm. Of course, these skills will be advanced on in the future. You're not going to have the same arm strength now that you will have when you are ten. No, no. You will have to continually work on this. When you can fish with the wooden spear, you get the real spear. When you can fish with the real spear, you can fish with the trident. In the time when you first get your trident, it will seem as if you never want to go back to the moment with the spears. But one day, you will be thankful I taught you the way of the wooden spear in the first place. Not everyone knows how to make a spear, even one as limited as the wooden one, but you will."
I still fail to understand what my father meant with his last statement. How hard would it be to make the garbage wooden spear? The carving process wouldn't be too difficult, and almost anyone could figure it out. Despite my confusion on his context, I clung on to his words, and these fading, older memories of my father.
"You were great," rang Umanda's snarky little voice. running toward us after the parade. "You were nice, Lobbie," she said, glancing at me for one second.
"Lottie," I muttered under my breath.
She didn't hear me, and turned to Rone. "You made such an impression out there!" she smiled. "Everyone is going to remember you, your muscle size, dare I say you're larger than the boy from district two! I think we have a winner this year!"
"What about me?" I wondered questioningly. I knew I didn't have much of a chance here, but I though the support and help was supposed to be equal between the two of us.
Umanda rolled her eyes and squeaked at me, "Didn't you hear me? I told you that you were nice."
The morning after the parade I woke up in my new room at the Tribute Center. Last night was a blur. I was partially blinded by my drowsiness and half in a daze from realizing that this was it, I was really in the Hunger Games. This was not some dream that could just go away, this was real, and it was happening to me.
I yawned and stepped off my bed. Hopefully in the training with the other tributes I could learn something useful to keep me alive in the arena. Umanda had already made it pretty clear she had little to no faith in me after her reaction after the parade. I couldn't count on Carmella or Noje to help me, I barely knew them and it was already apparent they were betting all they had on Rone.
One would think that there had to be something special about a twelve year old weakling from a career district who volunteered. Even though I made a rash decision when I wasn't thinking clearly, nobody knew that. Maybe they should be thinking about what secret talent I possess, what made me volunteer. Instead, I have been shoved to the side and ignored. This wasn't fair. There are tributes just like me every year that do get help from their mentors and hosts. Why would I be pushed aside? Especially me, a career, and with my reputation?
Outside my door was a pink and turquoise outfit I presumed was for training. Good thing Svetlana hasn't given up on me yet, she's the only one who has been decent to me throughout this whole thing.
Everybody was there for breakfast. I was seated with Rone on one side of me and Svetlana on the other. Homora sat next to Rone, and Noje and Carmella sat across from us. Umanda took her place at the head of the table.
Conversation initiated immediately. Rone was given help from an uncharacteristically lively Noje and Carmella. In all the years that I had seen Carmella, either from the television or when she was in town, I had never seen her eyes so excited. Clearly, there was shining potential in Rone.
This was true. Rone had always been at the top of the training center back at home. I knew this because that's all anyone ever talked about. Rone could run faster than anyone. Rone was handy with almost every weapon. When he would walk the hallways in school, everybody would turn their back and whisper. Everybody has been waiting for him to volunteer for years. I swear, he never leaves the training center.
He never leaves the training center.
When I find a break in their conversation, I turn to Rone. "Have you ever been fishing?" I ask him.
He stare at me stunned for a second. Then he answers. "No, no I haven't actually. I always wanted to train."
"You live in district four and you've never even been fishing, once?" asked Carmella.
"No," answered Rone swiftly. "There was no time for that."
Noje rolled his eyes. "There is no need for that. Learning how to fish won't be the difference between life and death in the arena." Noje focuses his attention toward me. "And it's nice of you to make yourself known for once."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I retort quickly.
He shrugged his shoulders. "You're nothing. People back home think you're some shy, stupid little girl who volunteered only because she wanted people to know your name. The entire country of Panem has seen those interviews. Carmella and I have nothing to help you. The rest of the careers won't want to form an alliance with you, you'll slow them down. Rone has already made it clear to me that he wants nothing to do with you. You are not interesting, and nobody feels bad for you considering you volunteered. All I can say is try your best, and maybe you won't be the first one killed."
I was about to leave and go to the training center before Svetlana stopped me.
"Can I talk to you for a second, alone?" She asked.
I nodded. I was in a bad state of mind after the predicament at breakfast, and Svetlana had been the first person since I had gotten here that actually had been decent to me.
She took me into the hallway, and checked around to see if anyone was around. When she was sure the coast was clear, she began talking.
"Why don't you tell them?" she whispered.
I was confused. "About what?"
"Your arms sweetie. Your arms."
"What about them?"
"The muscles in your arm are not proportional to the rest of your body. Not enough to be blatantly obvious, but enough to be seen. More muscle than that would naturally be in a girl of your body shape. You're strong."
I shrugged. "I throw spears and I fish with them. I also swim a lot and have to carry buckets of fish and water every day. I guess it built up from that."
"Why didn't you tell them that." She war referring to Noje and Carmella.
I shrugged again. "I don't know. I didn't think it was important."
"It is very important, this could be a talent that could keep you alive in the arena."
"So should I tell them now?'
Svetlana opened her mouth, and then closed it. "No...no. In fact, don't even pick up a spear today. Focus on the things you don't know. Learn how to survive. Learn about plants and hiding. Keep away from all the weapons - don't even look at them. Do the same for your private training score. Make them think you are as weak as they think you are."
"And why would I do that?"
"It's a strategy. You make them think you are weak, you get a low training score, and then when you enter the arena, you show that your true self has been hiding all along."
"How do you even know I'm any good at spear fishing," I question. "I've never compared myself to anyone else."
She took me by the shoulders. "The point is that people think you can't do anything at all."
I took Svetlana's instructions to heart. As soon as we finished the introduction from Azule at the beginning of training, I walked over to the plants station. I was awful at identifying the plants and animals, but I knew that it would be in my benefit to learn them, so I tried. Out of the corner of my eye, however, I saw a wall of spears. One was sleek, black, and similar to my dad's, which I had begun practicing with when I was ten. Right before he died. I coud feel people's eyes grazing over me, ignoring me, and I had an urge to run over to the spear and throw it, and show them I was something. However, Svetlana's words rang in my head, and I stayed with my plants.
Rone had gone directly over to the other careers, and they immediately welcomes him. The five of them were menacing, their group of hawk eyes watching the rest of us like we were slabs of meat.
Rone was the largest out of all of them, but the boys from one and two had incredibly muscle size also. They were typical career tributes: large man-boys who could kill you with a look. The girls also resembled careers of past years. Te girl from two, Ellia, had pin straight black hair and yellow eyes that bore into your back as you walked. She always had a coy smile on as if you she was planning your murder and, given the circumstances, she probably was. Ellia was handy at every weapon and didn't seem to have a weak point.
Jewel, the girl from district one, didn't seem as menacing as her counterparts. Although she had the same look of war in her brown eyes and an extreme talent in weaponry, Jewel had a sense of kindness about her. Her blonde hair was similar to mine, except that my hair is short and stringy, and her hair is longer and full of volume. Whenever the careers would split up, she would make friendly conversation with the other tributes. I wasn't able to figure out if she was just a friendly person, or if this was some sort of strategy to get herself on people's good sides. She even talked to me once, on the second day of training.
I had just been at the camouflage station, trying to pick up a bit of information, when she walked right up next to me.
"You know," she said softly, "I kind of admire you."
It took me a moment to realize that there was no one else around, and her words were meant for me."
"Why?"
She gestured toward the rest of the careers who were trying out the gauntlets. "They think you volunteered because you're stupid. I don't think you're stupid. I think you're hiding something. The way you watch everyone, like you enjoy just observing people. And besides," She smiled, "You've been eyeing those spears."
She left me to go back to her friends then, and I sat at the camouflage station wondering who Jewel really was.
She was correct of course, I did spend an awful lot of time watching people. I noticed the girl from district seven, probably fourteen years old. She didn't have an interest in the stations, and would rather stay in the corner by herself the entire time. Her district partner forced her to get up and go to the stations with him. She had a look of anguish and loneliness in her eyes, as if she had already given up. I wonder what people saw in my eyes.
I also noticed a connection between the girl from district twelve and the boy from district nine. Ever since the first day, they would do every single station together. During lunch they would sit by themselves and laugh and talk. I could see him watching her hand sometimes, as if he was tempted to hold it.
On the final day of training, Azule brought us all together for one last meeting. She warned us about the danger of the games, and said she hoped that we had learned something from each of the stations. Then she asked if there were any questions.
"Yes, can I win this without killing anyone?" It was the voice of the girl from district ten. I didn't know much about it, only that she was very shy and moved herself quietly from station to station.
Azule laughed for what seemed like forever before finally answering: "No."
In a line we all waited for our private meeting with the gamemakers. I remembered what Svetlana said, and I knew I must keep my image here. I would just show them the knowledge of plants and animals I had built up the last couple of days and leave.
When it was my turn, I stepped into the hall coolly, and went immediately over to the plant identifier. I showed off the memorization I had been building up for the last couple of days. After I was finished, the head gamemaker dismissed me with a simple, "You may go now."
On the TV that night, we watched as the training scores went up. The boy from one, Beau, got a nine. Ellia and the boy Reagan from district 2 got tens. Jewel received a nine. Rone got an eleven.
"An eleven!" exclaimed Umanda, "Oh what did you do to earn that!"
"I just showed them I was a jack of all trades," said Rone smugly.
"Nobody has gotten an eleven in years, we'll be all that anyone is talking about."
My score came and went. A two.
"Well hun, you can't say you expected more," said Umanda trying to fake a somber tone, "You can just hope for the best."
What she didn't realize was that everything was working out perfectly. The Gamemakers had barely noticed me, or cared. Just the way it was supposed to be.