A Challenger Appears
"You know Pinkie Pie, as much as I love your idea of a good time, wouldn't you be more happy with your friends?" I asked, having zapped us on top of my roof. The giant blue pinwheel was not turning, completely ignoring the light wind that had begun to blow.
We had all manner of treats and goodies, having procured most of the apple treats Pinkie had reserved for the Princesses.
"You are my friend, silly."
I wriggled uncomfortably, hiding it as I shifted into a better position.
Her magenta hair was defying gravity as it bounced up and down without losing any poof. She had her own brand of magic, that was sure.
"Pinkie, as much as you keep telling me this, I cannot quite understand. I've had... Allies before I suppose. Luna, anyway. But we just loved getting under Celestia's skin. She is rather easy to bother." I knew I was steering the topic away but I couldn't seem to stop. "Besides you, no one has claimed friendship with me before."
"That's sad. No one got to see how fun you can be." Pinkie's brows pinched, thinking of the unfortunate souls not blessed with my presence.
I watched her move around - if I blinked she would be in a completely new place. She didn't seem to understand what an unpleasant lot ponies could be, faced with things they didn't understand. She really was quite extraordinary.
"You know Pinkie Pie, you really are something else."
"What do you mean by that?" She paused, finishing her placement of punch.
"I'm not quite sure." I lied, "There is something."
"Maybe its my unique personality!" She chimed. I smiled. That was definitely part of it, to say the very least.
"There really isn't anypony like you, Pinkie Pie."
I smiled back at the draconequus, and he looked away. Something was going on. Perhaps he really was thinking of leaving. But he was happy here, wasn't he?
I sat down heavily, swiping a bite-sized apple treat from the tray I had made. I munched thoughtfully, wondering if the Cakes would be okay without my help. Discord's tongue flicked in my peripheral, curling around a larger treat before disappearing from view again. Did he like eating the paper wrappings?
"What's on your mind?" His voice echoed from somewhere behind my ears. "I do hope I haven't offended you."
"Nopey nope nope!" I shook my head, mane bouncing, "I just don't know what to think about what you've said, that's all."
Birds flit around the trees outside of Discord's acreage, looking like little black spots. I sighed, enjoying the sunshine. He murmured something that sounded an awful lot like:
"I just like you Pinkie."
I turned to face him, mismatched eyes watching me intensely. My eyes scrunched, not really sure why he seemed so off.
"I knew that! We're friends, right?"
"Of course, Pinkie Pie."
I smiled, grabbing another treat.
Why did I like her, anyway? She was oblivious, almost to a fault. My forked tongue procured another apple-tastic treat. She wasn't especially smart or... well that wasn't true. Different kind of knowledge. She knew other things, especially how to have fun. Not book smart then. But that was hardly a requirement. Twilight Sparkle was my least favourite pony thus far. Focus on something else, something to distance yourself. Okay. Pinkie wasn't... I couldn't even get the word out of my mind's 'mouth'. Of course she was pretty. She was cotton candy clouds and sky blue eyes and... I screwed my eyes shut. No. No. No.
"You okay?"
My eyes opened, concern written on her face.
"Just thinking about something."
"Oh." She sat back, "You shouldn't think about things that confuse you, you should talk about them. That way you can get un-confused."
"I'll try to keep that in mind." I tried to reassure her, if only so she wouldn't prod.
She nodded, so she must have been satisfied. The light wind blew her hair away from me, exposing her neck. Ponies were so easily hurt, why doesn't she think about falling? I could push her off the roof if I wanted. She glanced over and smiled, swiping another apple treat.
She knew I wouldn't. Did she know about these feelings? How pathetic was I, feeling for this pony I barely knew? It wasn't as if I could ask-
"Do you think we could get to know each other a little better?" Pinkie asked, "I mean, we've already had a sleepover and we hardly know each other."
Was this mare psychic? Eerie.
"That sounds... acceptable." I was going for aloof, but I doubt my voice carried that.
"Okay, but first I need to go home and feed Gummy."
I had nearly forgotten about the green reptile. Why she had a pet that would eat her when it got older, I had no idea. I agreed with her, and zapped us outside Sugar Cube Corner.
"There you go." I gestured toward the bakery.
"Wow thank you! That saves us loads of time!" She trotted toward the building and I felt good about using my powers on her. Flashing her here or there didn't phase her at all. She was someone who seemed to really like my magic, instead of just putting up with it.
"Pinkie Pie?" The two of us froze mid-step and turned toward the masculine voice.
A light grey pegasus stood nearby, bright blue mane catching the afternoon rays. He had racecar red eyes and a big smile. I immediately hated the bastard.
"Incer? It is you!" I watched Pinkie bounce over to the stallion, giving him the biggest hug I'd seen her give anyone. I felt a rage boil inside me. I hadn't felt this way since... I kept myself from going cavepony on Pinkie, but only barely. Just because the friend was male, didn't mean they had ever been 'special someponies'.
"Discord, come meet Incer!"
I flashed over almost before she finished the words, startling the new pony. Good.
"And who are you? You're not from Ponyville." I grit my teeth, my attempt to sound uncaring backfiring with my tone of voice.
"...P-Pinkie?" The stallion stuttered, eyes wide. "I-is that..."
"Yup, this is Discord, my newest friend! Discord, this is Incer, one of my oldest friends! He was a good friend of mine when I used to work on the rock farm."
I eyed the stallion, happy to see the fear and confusion across his face. I could scare this newcomer off - old friend or not - and I could get back to having Pinkie Pie to myself.
"Pleasure is mine." I grinned, though more correctly I was baring my teeth at him. The stallion leaned back, away from my now much closer face. The light haired pony was at a loss. Pinkie Pie mentioned feeding Gummy again, and I smiled, tail fluff snapping. Gummy was going to be a bit bigger when this wimp met him. Pinkie threw a hoof over Incer's shoulders, leading him back toward the bakery. I bit back a growl, trailing behind. I would not be trailing behind if he had never appeared.
"Why are you with the Spirit of Chaos?" I heard Incer whisper, and I listened while trying to appear like I couldn't.
"He's my friend, I like him. I think you'd like him too." She whispered back, before looking behind at me and calling out, "You coming slowpoke?"
"Yes, Pinkie," I said, having flashed beside the stallion, "I'm always right beside you."
The idea that Pinkie Pie was always with me seemed to make the stallion even more uncomfortable. Pinkie only smiled, rounding the bakery's counter to head upstairs. Incer was beside her, and I let them go ahead, getting a glance at his cutie mark. It was an odd line with wings on both ends. I had seen it before... An integral symbol?
"Gummy, I'm here for- AH! When did you get so super duper big?" I heard Pinkie say, but I was highly displeased to see Incer petting the crocodilian. Pinkie must have mistaken my confusion for she piped up with commentary.
"Incer here was the one who saw Gummy hatch. We found the egg by itself, all the other eggs had hatched, so we made sure Gummy had a chance."
Of course the stallion wasn't afraid of alligators. Why would my life be that easy? I snapped and Gummy reverted to his normal proportions. He blinked, purple eyes staring into nothingness and I shook my head. There was something off about that creature.
"How are you Incer, we haven't seen each other in years! What brings you to Ponyville? DidyouknowthatIworkinabakery now? Ihaveabunchofnewfriends, andIcan'twaitforyoutomeet them!"
"...Uhh," Incer smiled tentatively, "...I-I can't say too much, everything is good, I was just looking for a change of pace. I heard from your folks that you moved out here, so I figured I could move to a place where I knew somepony else."
One of us was the fool here. And since this Incer was currently the one talking to Pinkie, it had to be me. I was not a fool, and hated feeling like one. Pinkie trotted about, getting food for Gummy and setting out some carrots for her guest. I was practically ignored, except by the alligator who just chomped on my tail. Weren't we going to learn more about each other? Not this... new guy.
"I'll be back."
"Okay Dis-" I flashed out before Pinkie could finish.
I fell into the bed of Poison Joke that littered my grounds, hoping to calm myself. I was angry, I felt like yelling at everything. Even Pinkie. Maybe especially Pinkie, and I knew that was wrong. I had to leave. I growled, eating one of the blue plant's flowers.
The effect was immediate. I no longer felt like ripping up the flower bed, but now I felt sad. This new guy, this... Incer, would take away the only real friend I'd ever had. And not only that, he could take her away in more ways than one. She didn't know I liked her as more than a friend. I had only recently discovered it myself. But if Incer put the moves on her... I felt a prickling in my eyes, and I rubbed them. Spirits of Chaos did not cry, even if they were going to lose their only friend in the world.
I soon gave up rubbing the tears away. Stupid Poison Joke. Anger would be preferable at this point. No, not if I hurt Pinkie. If I hurt Incer, Pinkie would also be hurt. Unfortunate.
The sun beat down on my back, and I didn't bother getting up. Pinkie wouldn't even notice I was gone. What point was there in being free, if I stilldidn't have a friend to revel with?
"Huh, Discord sure is taking a while." I mused, glancing at the clock. It had been a few hours. Incer and I had walked around, got a proper lunch and headed back to my place.
"I'm sure he's just busy..." Incer said uncertainly. I knew he was frightened of the draconequus, and I was happy he made an effort.
"I guess." I shook my head, he probably just wanted some alone time, "Do you have a place to stay?"
"Yeah, I'm renting out a place near the town square."
"You know you could stay here with me if you wanted. Until you have enough bits to get your own place. I own this place now, so you don't need to worry about rent."
"Really?" Incer's eyes lit up, "That would be a big help, because renting is fine but I'd never be able to actually own anything."
"Exactly my thoughts. I did a sort of rent-to-own thing, but the Cakes and I go way back so they also gave me a steal of a deal!"
"That's kind of them." Incer smiled, "I really am grateful for your help Pinkie... I will help with groceries and such."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." I couldn't stop smiling. How candy-tastic, now I had another friend in Ponyville! We talked a bit more, making arrangements for his bed and his things (My place was a little too open-concept to have separate rooms). Soon we had all the kinks worked out. everything was turning out so well, it was almost perfect. Except...
Where was Discord?
I was starting to get worried about the guy. It wasn't normal for him to go off so long without popping back up again. He constantly verbally abolished the norm, but really, he was a slave to it himself. Weren't we going to learn more about each other, to become better friends? Everything seemed okie doki until...
"So how did you befriend the, uh... big baddie anyhow, Pinkie?" Incer asked, seeming genuinely interested.
"I convinced the Princesses that Dizzy didn't need to be in stone." Something wasn't adding up here...
"...Dizzy? Wow you guys must be really hitting it off." Incer grinned mischievously, "Did it happen overnight?"
"Incer!" I gasped before falling into a fit of giggles, "Not that way! We had a sleepover last night. For sleep."
Incer was still smiling, "Uh huuuuuh."
"Oh shut your cake eater." I grinned, the back of my mind beginning to speculate how that would even work. I relayed the rest of my story to the stallion, who listened intently... with only a few more quips here and there.
"You have a big heart, Pinkie. Discord is lucky to have a friend like you."
I nodded, pieces of the puzzle coming together. Discord didn't like other ponies a lot. And Incer arrived just as we were about to learn more about each other... was he jealous? Upset that I had put Incer first! Of course! Anypony could understand that! He should have told me!
"Oh, gummy bears. I've done it again, Incer. Fizzle pops, I'm so silly! I need to go, I was going to do something with Discord before you showed up but then I got distracted, because you did show up and -"
"Woah, woah Pinkie!" The stallion grabbed my hooves in his, "It will be okay. He's got to learn that he has to share you, anyway."
"...Yeah. I just want to help him."
"See?" Incer smiled, "You are the best friend anypony could ask for."
I watched them through the window, perched as I was atop another ponies house. No one ever paid attention to a small bird on a roof anyhow. I decided not to sit in the window sill at Sugarcube Corner, lest the two of them wonder about the bird that didn't move.
I was still upset that she didn't go to find me. And then he held her hooves... It was more than I could think to watch. But I did. Neither moved from their positions until Pinkie shook her head, and trotted out, leaving the grey stallion in her flat. Her hair bounced slightly as she moved, and my eyes squinted as she hauled in a deep breath.
"DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSS SCOOOOOOOOOOORD!"
I flashed beside her, "Yes, Pinkie Pie?"
She had ruined my hearing, but she obviously thought me far away if she bellowed like that.
"I want you to come inside and meet Incer. I really want you two to get along. And besides, I still want to do a bit of 20 questions with you. Incer doesn't have to join if you don't want to, even though it could be superduperfun!"
Her sky blue eyes shone up at me and I felt my sadness go away. She was a social butterfly, and apt to distraction... Surely she didn't mean to hurt my feelings.
"You know I was really looking forward to just the two of us, anyway." I replied, sidewinding my way toward the bakery. "Why is Incer still here?"
"Oh! I almost forgot! He's staying at my place until he can afford his own." She grinned, and I fought a wave of nausea. "But don't worry, we can hang out together all the time! I'll be living with Incer anyway, so we'll see each other a lot. I wouldn't forget about you!"
I nodded, holding my tongue. She clearly thought that would appease me.
She was wrong, but...
"Come on Discord!" She grabbed me by the paw and shuffled me up to her apartment.
It wasn't all bad.
A/N: What do you think everypony? Is Discord getting the wrong idea? What the hay is Pinkie thinking?
Incer belongs to Cheezman75 (FIMfiction), who won the contest from Chapter 7. Thanks again to my Beta, PinkiePi!