...Killed the Cat

I didn't hear from Discord for awhile, which was okay, because Incer and I had a great time getting reacquainted. He told me about what he'd been up to while I was living in Ponyville. Going to his university sounded really challenging, and his eyes lit up when he talked about it. And it honestly just sounded like a bunch of math hooplah but he was happy, so I was happy for him.

"And so instead of moving back home, I decided to try my luck here." He grinned conspiratoraly, "I just wanted a break from the rock farm."

"You and me both!" I said,"Mine's not really a break though, because I'm never moving back!"

"You know Pinkie, I'm glad I ran into you when I did. I can't thank you enough."

"What are friends for?" I smiled. I did have some errands to run, so I bid him farewell and went out to find something for dinner. Would Discord want to join us? My tummy felt funny again thinking back to his question.

"Do you want to be his special somepony?"

Why would Dizzy ask that? Was he genuinely curious? That didn't make sense with the way he disappeared right after. Unless... I frowned, thinking about it. I shook my head, smiling to myself. What would he want with me? Oh well, best to assume he's coming for dinner. What to make... I licked my lips, swiping off the chocolate milk. Wait, what?

I looked up, and the keeper of Chaos grinned back down at me. He was laying on a fluffy pink cloud that cast no shadow. Sneaky.

"Hey there, Dizzy! I'm going to get some stuff for dinner, wanna come?"

"Of course, Pinkie Pie." He poofed the cloud away, and landed beside me on all fours.

"...Maybe you could keep the cloud?"

He grinned, sharp teeth gleaming in the sunshine. The cloud came back and drenched me in chocolate rain. I squealed in delight, opening my mouth wide to get as much as possible. Who doesn't like chocolate milk? Crazy ponies. Or... ponies that can't have milk. Or chocolate. How depressing! The rain stopped and we continued into town, the cloud following lazily behind.

"Admit it, Pinkie, you only got me out of stone for the free chocolate rain."

"Alright, you win!" I laughed, "You caught me."

"Obviously. Perhaps you did not know it was your lucky day, then. I can do more than summon milk."

"Oh?" I glanced about, checking out the stores to see if anything caught my eye. Maybe takeout instead... "Tell me more!"

"I have it on good authority that I'm an excellent slumber buddy."

"Who's authority? Mine?" I laughed, turning the corner. Ponies made way for us as we came through, Discord cutting an impressive figure for one so thin.

"Naturally. The only voice that matters."

I paused mid-step before resuming. My mind was clearly playing tricks on me. Discord did not... Okay, he made fun of things all the time. But he had his pride, too. Was this a set up to make a joke against me?

"Mine is the only voice that matters, huh?" I smiled, "Have you had sleepovers with other mares?"

Discord shook his head, then thinking better of it, nodded. He explained Luna and Celestia's fort made of sheets when they were little.

"Though that is hardly the same thing." He finished.

"Why? What about pasta?" I asked, looking into a store's window that displayed an antique hand crank for producing spaghetti.

"Pasta works." The spirit nodded, ignoring my other question. I let him have that one, figuring he didn't want to talk about it because he was no longer friends with Celestia. We continued to talk about things as they popped into our heads, Discord carrying the shopping bags with his tail. Only a couple ingredients remained to be found for the pasta sauce.

"I could make you whatever food you wanted, you know?" Discord butt-in while I looked at some tomatoes.

"I'm sure you could, but," I put a tomato back, searching for another, "there is something satisfying about making something from your own hooves."

I saw him clench his mismatched appendages, wondering if he said 'hooves'. He really only had one. I found myself voicing something that I normally kept in my head.

"It must be lonely. Being the only one." Discord was silent as I walked up and handed the stallion behind the counter the required bits. He remained quiet until we left the store.

"It is."

I turned my gaze to him and he shook his head when our eyes met.

"I'm not so lonely anymore."

I smiled, so very happy. I was his friend!

Perhaps it was the chocolate milk (again with no whipped cream!) or the way he watched me cook the pasta sauce, but I had a feeling he wanted to talk about something.

"Dizzy, you gotta help me out here, I'm not a mind reader." My eyes squinted, trying to see if I could read his mind, "Nope, not a mind reader."

"Can't somepony do something without being interrogated?" He rolled his eyes, "Honestly, what a bother."

"Well you'll have to tell me or I'll never know." I chided playfully, "Pass the oregano?"

"Can't a male just..." He flicked the glass vial down the counter,"look at a pretty pony without the fifth degree?"

I snatched the moving jar, thinking a moment before continuing. He thought I was pretty? I shook some of the green flakes into the saucepan.

"Of course you can look silly, staring is another thing." I capped the vial once more, turning to look at him, pointedly.

"...Of course. I suppose I didn't realise I was doing it." He sighed, "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

"No, I guess I'm just not used to it. Not many stallions give me a second glance, but that's fine." I smiled, taking a small sip of the sauce, to test it, "I don't have a special somepony yet, but I'm prepared to wait."

I held up another spoonful, "What's it need? Tellmetellmetellme!"

Discord glanced at me before dipping in to slurp at the wooden spoon. He smacked his lips loudly and I laughed.

"Well, it tastes great to me. Maybe garnish it with some cheese?"

"OOo! Cheese! I hadn't thought of that! You have the best ideas, Dizzy."

"I will bow to your better wisdom." I slapped his shoulder lightly, turning back to my sauce.

With the sauce practically completed, I put it on the backburner to simmer while I checked the pasta itself. I carefully fished out a noodle, blew on it and popped it in my mouth. Perfect.

"Okay, watch out! I'm going to strain it." I shooed him out of the small kitchen area, and carefully hoisted the heavy pot. I had already put the strainer in the sink so that was no problem, but it was a tricky thing with the steam getting in my face. I hefted the pot over the sink and started to tilt it in, hooves protesting slightly, when the metal base touched my forehoof. Startled, I dropped the pot, spilling boiling water everywhere. I yelled as it hit me, pain shooting across my knees, and Discord was beside me in an instant; arm unsure where to grasp, his eyes were wide.

"ASK ME FOR HELP NEXT TIME!" He barked while I tried to reach the cold tap. Tears welled up in my eyes from the pain, I was glad I had fur, thin as it was.

"No, you've been hit by the water too." I heard him growl, and suddenly I was under water. Lots of it. I spluttered, trying to get my bearing, and only then felt Discord's paw holding me up. I clung to him and felt the heat leave me slowly. Still he held me up, and as I was being streamed upon, I realised that I must be under a kind of waterfall. Light on my skin, but clearly voluminous, waterfall. When I shivered, he pulled me out.

"What were you thinking? Are you so self-reliant that you can't even think to ask for help when you need it? You are a smart pony, you should know you can ask me for help." I looked up to see his fury hiding the real reason he was barking at me. He was worried.

"I'll ask for help next time. Thank you for..." I gestured behind me. We were behind a waterfall, but the way the cave worked, I couldn't tell where we were. He shook his head, murmuring something about pink-haired mares being the death of him. I pawed at the ground, feeling a little sheepish. Discord went down on all fours and prodded me toward the back of the cave. I followed, and soon found myself outside - on Discord's acreage.

"Now, please allow me to assist you. Do you want to go home or to the hospital?" He looked me over, clearly indicating he wanted me to go to a professional.

"Couldn't you just 'poof' me better?" I asked hopefully.

"Last time I-" He caught himself, snapping his jaw shut. "No. Chaos does not lend itself to healing, unfortunately."

I was curious, but didn't press the issue. I suggested get burn cream from the hospital and then getting back to the house. He acquiesced, though I could tell he wanted me to get a full look-over. He poofed us outside the tall, industrial building telling me I was to come straight back out. What a mother hen.

I found a nurse, asking if I could get a salve, and she ushered me toward a different section of the building. ER was the first place one entered... probably a good thing too. We scooted into a smaller area, and she led me to a desk, where she quickly looked my burns over and asked about home treatment while she scanned her shelves. I explained how Discord held me under a cool - not cold! - waterfall for several minutes. She nodded, taking down a small jar.

Placing the jar on the desk she smiled at me, "You know, he was smart to do that. Your hair is a little worse wear Pinkamena, but you got lucky. These are only first degree, and you treated it right away. Take this, and follow the instructions on the label. Is he outside?"

I nodded, and she led me back out the front door. She thanked Discord for his help, and he hid his surprise well. The white mare left with a simple goodbye, and we were alone again.

"Dinner?"

"Starving," I said gratefully.

We poofed back into the apartment, and I read the label while Discord zapped things back to 'normal'. Water was cleaned, half-burnt sauce was salvaged and the pasta plated. The label was simple, once I skimmed through the obvious "Do NOT use for" section.

Directions:

Clean affected area.

Apply small amount not more than 3 times daily.

May be covered with sterile bandage.

Easy enough. I looked up to see a table setting for two, Discord carefully laying out a fork and knife on one side. There was a cream coloured tablecloth and a small bowl with a poison joke blossom floating in it. I eyed the plant warily, and he must have noticed because he cleared his throat.

"It, ah, is no longer potent."

"Oh! That's fine then. After dinner can you help me apply the burn cream? I need to reach my back."

He blinked once. Twice.

"...Oh. Of course Pinkie Pie."

"Thanks. Dinner looks great, I appreciate you helping out." I sat down, tail only slightly damp so I wasn't worried about the cushion. Discord's tail flicked as he reconfigured the cushion to suit his needs. I never really noticed his size-changing when he came in the house now. He just was smaller inside the house than he was outside in my mind.

We ate quietly, the cheese Dizzy added really made it delish! When we both slowed down, I hopped away to grab the burn salve. When I held it out to him, he took it quickly, and unscrewed the lid almost.

"Where do you need it?"

"I can feel a few spots on my back, that would be a big help." He set the lid on the table and stared at me a moment before moving behind me. I sat, moving my hair to the side and out of the way. I shivered when the cream touched down on my withers, and Discord made small circular motions over the burn.

"That feels much better." I hummed, closing my eyes as the slight pinching feeling went away. There was a pause as I heard him fiddle with the jar - probably getting more ointment - before he touched down again, this time between my back and flank. I murmured my appreciation as that spot was quelled.

"...There's one more spot." Discord said quietly, and I could feel where it was. Close to the dock, but not quite...

"Um... I can understand if you're uncomfortable, but I can't reach it properly. I can get someone else to help. I understand."

"I... I just wanted to make sure you didn't mind me..." I could feel him shake his head. The cream touched down and I shivered. He rubbed the area softly, and pulled his paw away just the same.

"Now I know I saw some on your knee, let me, I'm already covered in this stuff."

I did as he asked, holding up a hoof for him to take. He stared at my cannon intently as he rubbed the cream on gently with his paw. I caught his eye as I switched hooves, and they didn't leave. His motions became... languid? No... almost... sensuous. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks, but couldn't bring myself to look away. Was this what other mares felt like with a stallion?

"Oh! Sorry!"

I was snapped out of my reverie by someone's voice, and Discord and I both turned to see Incer at the top of the stairs.

"I didn't know you guys were... was interrupting... I'll just go."

"Stay you imbecile, I was just helping Pinkie Pie with her burn ointment." Discord drawled, straightening up. Incer walked over, unconcerned by the rude remark, and looked over my burns.

"What did you do this time?" He teased, "Decide to go splashing in a bowl of stew?"

"I had trouble with a pot of spaghetti." I felt the heat leave quickly as I lapsed into normalcy, "There's some in the fridge if you want."

"If you two are going to chat about rocks, I am out of here." Discord scoffed, "Come by later, if you'd like Pinkamena."

"Oh... um, okay Dizzy."

A flash, and he was gone.

I glanced back to see Incer looking at the table with its embellishments. His bright red eyes found mine as he turned back.

"I think we need to talk."

A/N: Dun dun daaaaaaahhhh!

What do you think? Sorry this took so long, I was having a hard time coming up with this segment. Please leave reviews/comments, I love hearing from you!