Only The Good Die Young
Chapter 2
"We need the whole cast ready to rehearse act 2, Rachel are you ready?"called James, the director of my new musical.
Ready? Of course I'm not ready, I started chemotherapy yesterday. I feel like if I move I'm going to throw up, my eye's feel as heavy as lead, all I want to do is go home, find Finn and go to bed.
"Yep! Just a minute, I just need some water and I'll be there" I call back, acting as if everything is okay, nobody knows anything, I can't tell them, if I do they'll tell me to leave my job and I'll stop doing everything I love. Finn doesn't know yet, when I feel like this, all I want to do is go to bed and get him to bring me soup and hugs, but if I do he'll know something is wrong and my secret will be out.
"Rachel, we need to start now! We don't have time to dawdle!"
"Yep, sorry, coming!" As I stand up, nausea rushes over me, I take a few deep breaths and get ready to learn the choreography, this is the biggest number in the whole musical and it's being choreographed by Grant Owen who is known as the fiercest choreographer on Broadway. I love Broadway more than anything and normally I love coming to work but today I just want to go home, but I know there's no point thinking that because I have to learn this dance and we only have a day to do it. Here comes hell...
"Okay guys, not the best I've seen but we managed to get the dance done in 6 hours which is pretty good." shrills Grant in a voice that could curdle butter, it's finally over, we've been working for 6 hours straight and it's now 10.30pm, it's really time to go now, I cannot take anymore.
I'm just about to leave and I hear James' voice: "Rachel, can you come over here, I just need a word!"
I fill up with my last ounce of energy and smiles and walk as fast as I can over to James, I'm sure he won't be long, he must be tired too.
"Hi Rachel, sorry to call you now, I know it's late but I just wanted to know if you were okay? You seemed a bit off today during the dance, you're normally step perfect but you kept stopping today and you seem slightly agitated?"
"Oh, sorry, yeah I, I'm fine, just a little tired, that's all, sorry, I'll be better tomorrow... speaking of, is it okay if I come an hour late tomorrow, I have something I need to do?"
"Er, yeah I suppose that's fine Rachel but you can't do it again, we need you here, you may be our star but you can be replaced! And next time give me a bit more notice. Maybe have an extra coffee before work? We can't have wrong steps!"
"Im sorry James, I promise it won't happen again and I will be better, see you tomorrow."
James doesn't know I'm going for chemo tomorrow so I know he's not trying to be mean but honestly I just feel like bursting into tears, I am trying my best to keep everything together, but every step I take is like running a marathon at the moment, I'm trying to cover it up with smiles and energy but this was only my first chemo, what's it going to be like next time? Well, I'll know in the morning so I'm just going to go to bed and get as much sleep as I can and look forward to my call from Finn in the morning.