Valentina storms in. Her expression is ice-cold.

"NATE!" she takes me by the shoulders and forcefully shakes me. "NATE FUCKING MCIALWAIN WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!?" her voice squeaks from stress and cracks as she screams at me.

"I HAVE TO AVENGE HIM!"

It comes out as a high-pitched, raspy, loud scream, "NO!"

"VALENTINA, STOP!" I swat her hands off my shoulders.

She stares at me for a second. Her stare is cold and Valentina looks hurt. "Nate…" her eyes sparkle with tears, "Nate… You… You didn't have to do this… There are better ways…"

I sigh, "Nothing any of us can do about it now. I'm going into those Games. And I'm going to win."

"You'd better fucking do so," she growls, "If you leave your sister on her own, I'll make sure you're brutally murdered in the afterlife."

"Alright, sure. Fine."

Valentina hugs the air out of me and her voice is laced in tears, "Nate… I already lost my brother… And my Mom… I can't lose you, too. Promise me. Promise me you won't do anything fucking stupid to get yourself killed."

I nod, "Sure. I promise."

She nods, wiping her eyes. Then she stomps away without another word.

I never thought this could be so hard.

Next comes Trevor, Valentina's husband, and their son, Nick.

"Hey kiddo," Trevor says. When I look up, he's smiling.

"Hi Trev."

He puts a hand on my back, "Congratulations. Really. In my opinion, son… THAT was GENIUS. Real genius. I love to see enthusiastic young boys like you taking an interest in the Games. Shows a lot of pride for your home and everything in it."

"I'm not enthusiastic," I mutter, "I hate the Games. I'm only doing this to avenge Elijah's death. He was too young to die like that. I have to avenge him, yes, but I'm not excited."

"Well, kiddo… You need to act like it." His voice has taken on a harsher edge. "If you act excited, the Capitol people will love you. But don't you dare be the stubborn little boy you truly are."

His harsh expression disappears suddenly and he smiles warmly. "Congratulations, Nate. There's going to be a whole nation of people that'll look up to you."

"The whole nation, Dad!?" Nick asks, amazement in his voice.

"That's right buddy," Trevor says with a smile, "All of Panem."

Nick throws his arms around my neck, "Wow, Nate! The whole nation'll know your name!"

"Yeah, sure will," I try to sound enthusiastic.

Nick grins, "This is so exciting!"

I smile at the three-year-old's innocence, "Sure. Yeah, I guess it is."

Nick hugs me tightly, "You need to show 'em all who's boss, Uncle Nate. You will. I know you will."

"Thanks, Nick." I think a chat with the three-year-old is something I really needed.

I finally hug him back and smile slightly. "You have to keep kicking butt here while I'm gone. But, I won't be gone for long."

I say it more to myself than him,

"I won't be gone for long."

"Time's up!" the Peacekeeper growls. I nod, hugging both Trevor and Nick goodbye as they're dragged away.

Next and last in for me is my sister.

She looks livid.

She grabs me forcefully by the shoulders and glares into my soul.

"How… the HELL… could you DO THIS!?" she screams.

"Cas, hold it!"

"No, no holding it! IDIOT! How the hell could you do this!? Mom and Dad can't even stand to come say goodbye!"

"Maybe they're glad I'm leaving!"

She scowls, "HOW THE HELL DO YOU THINK THAT'S TRUE?!"

"How the hell do you think it's not?"

Finally she breaks down and starts to cry, "I can't believe you would volunteer for this… Even after seeing what happened to Elijah!"

"He was my best friend! I HAVE TO AVENGE HIM!"

"There are plenty of better ways that AREN'T THIS!" she screams at me.

Tears collect in my eyes. "Well it's too fucking late for that now."

"You're 14. Don't swear," she says coldly, wrapping her arms around me.

I hug her back but my expression stays cold.

"Don't you dare die," she hisses at me.

"I won't," I roll my eyes at her. She sighs, "You say that now."

She forgets that I have something that nobody else has: training. I know how to use a sword.

"Whatever, Cassia, but you watch. I am going to prove all of them wrong!"

She lets go of me, scowling, as tears roll down her cheeks. "I can only hope that's true. I'll be a nervous wreck when you're gone."

Then she turns around and walks out without a goodbye.

Whatever. She can just go mope, but I have a Game to win.

Priscilla sits on the opposite side of the train from me, head buried in her knees.

Yeah, well I feel like shit, too.

"Oh, you two are just going to love the Capitol!" Esperanza says happily. "And, this year, all 24 of you and your fellow tributes will get to speak with last year's Victor, as he helps all of you travel the road to victory!" she squeals and claps her hands, "How exciting!"

This is the worst news of the whole day for me. I'm gonna have to face the guy I hate more than anything or anyone else in the world.

Priscilla looks up at me. I know she hates the guy, too.

He walks in just then, and our escort disappears with Priscilla. I guess she'll have the honor of talking to him after I'm done with him.

I look around. Esperanza is gone, and there's nobody else on the train car but us. So I make my attack.

He's 17 and I'm only 14… I shouldn't be able to knock him down, but the element of surprise works in my favor. I let out a growl, glad that he breathes heavy and lets out a grunt of distress.

I clench my fist, "You! You little shitbag… I hate you so frickin' much."

He finally looks… Scared.

It's a little hint of fear that only flickers in his eyes, but he's scared.

"Who…What…Why!?" His words are strained by my bodyweight on top of him, and his eyes dart around, alarmed.

"My name is Nate McIalwain, fucktard!" I growl.

"You…You're…" Looks like the dumbass finally recognizes me.

"His best friend?! Yeah, that's me! And guess what, Cupcake? I'm out to get you! And you will be sorry for every little thing that you did to him!"

"I am sorry!" he says, still strained by me.

"You sure that's not because I have your life in my hands?" I ask, offering a sweet smile.

"When you're a Victor, you become numb," he whispers, so quietly I can barely hear. His voice sounds pained but I don't believe him for a second because he doesn't look it at all.

"Oh yeah!? Because you look pretty damn awake to me! Awake and happy at that!"

"You think I'm happy!? And hey, I'm exhausted!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure," I growl, "I'm positive bathing in your Victory evey day is so tiring, but while you're staring at your reflection in the mirror, people are HURTING!"

He looks at me, a tear fighting its way out of his eye.

This is strange, because his face doesn't look sad at all.

After a pause, he says quietly, "I AM hurting."

"Well you sure don't look like it," I growl.

"I AM HURTING, CUPCAKE!" he screams at me.

I try to collect the anger within me to formulate a comeback, but his anger dissipates as fast as it appeared.

He looks at me with scared eyes.

"Nate… Please look at me. In the eyes."

My eyes wander down before finally looking into his blue-gray ones.

"You have no idea how much this is hurting me," I growl quietly, through clenched teeth.

"Well it hurts me, too. But I need you to believe me and the Capitol's screwed me up so bad that it's the only way I can prove that I'm telling the truth."

I glare into his eyes and almost instantly they fill with tears.

"Look, Nate, I know you're upset-"

"You say that to everyone!" I yell at him, "It's nothing but a silly trend of yours! Like running a hand through you hair or wearing those stupid converse all the time! I know you're upset, you say that to everyone, all the time, and yet you never do a thing after that!" I throw in a bitter laugh, "We already know that we're upset! Hearing it from you isn't gonna do a damn thing! Words aren't gonna help you here. You have to speak with your actions now."

His eyes break from my face and look up ath the ceiling. Then they gradually go blank, as if he's in a trans or he's zoned out somehow. Looking into those blank eyes is really scary for me. I don't know who, but I do know I can't take much more of this.

I've never seen him scared before. And it's terrifying.

"Stop," I finally say, "Stop it now. Refocus."

He frowns, "Right… Sure… Ok…" I look down on him with cold, angry eyes.

"Now is the time to speak with your actions. Now."

He swallows hard and says weakly, "Nate, listen to me."

"Good luck with that, cupcake," I scoff coldly.

Then he takes a fistful of my shirt and tugs: hard. It causes me to growl and snap my head down to him.

"Nate," he growls at me, "Listen to me."

Flashbacks appear before my eyes and they fill with tears.

Platinum speaks again, "I had a whole speech planned for District 2. And in it, I said how awful it feels. And how Elijah didn't deserve to die."

"Oh, sure," I start but he tugs on my shirt again, pulling my focus back to him.

"Nate, I chickened out. Seeing so many people who loved Elijah-"

"Dill had a big family, too," I add coldly.

His eyes become even more glassy. "I know that. Nate, back in District 1, I had problems admitting my faults."

"You had?!" I challenge, "Come on, Cupcake! You-"

Another harsh tug at my shirt makes me look back down.

"Fine. I still do. It's something I'll have to work on."

"Well you-" He tugs again.

"Listen up, cupcake. This is gonna be a lot easier if you just shut your trap. Now. And don't open it again until I'm finished."

I swallow my pride and finally nod.

He takes a deep breath before talking again. "Nate, my speech was 2 pages long, and I had so many of Elijah's good qualities listed down. But, I looked around, and the whole District swore at me, and I chickened out. I chickened out, OK!? AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT!" His outburst frightens me. I jump but don't say anything, just sit on his chest and listen to him speak.

"There. You hear that, cupcake? I hate myself for it. I think of Elijah all the tie, every time I see anything that's such a beautiful deep blue as his eyes, anyone with a smile even remotely as nice as his… I think of all of them all the time. It drives me crazy," he whispers quietly.

And it's genuine. And I know that it's genuine. And I know that the Capitol's been lying to the Districts, once again. Platinum Krietzer isn't happy. He isn't alert. He isn't smug or even arrogant in the slightest, not anymore.

I finally climb off of him and thankfully, I get to break eye-contact.

He sits up on the floor and leans against the wall, groaning as he sits up.

Platinum rests the top of his head against the wall, watching the ceiling.

I want to say something to him… Apologize, or even try to provide comfort or something to help him.

But the moment has past, and all I can think to mutter is, "Sorry, Cupcake."

He makes a quiet, "Mmm," sound, then we both sit against the wall, in silence.

Seeing the very first Victor, the one person who is the bravest of the brave break down… It's a very scary thing. And the realization stabs me that I can't even hate the guy anymore.

The guy that tortured my best friend… The weights of this decision are heavy. On one side, he did run a sword down Elijah's back.

But I just don't think I can hate him any longer. I don't think I'll ever like him, but I think we can get along well enough, at least until these Games are over. Because he may've majorly messed up then, but he's changed now.

And now I see it.

Platinum Krietzer is desperately and hopelessly broken.