On Any Given Day - The Watch Stander

Please watch Atlantis tonight, record if you want, but turn on another TV and watch it, otherwise it doesn't count. We need another season and another, so let's get the numbers up.

Thank you for all the reviews and alerts, it makes it all worth while knowing people are reading this.

Thanks to all for your support, I hope to finish in two more chapters.

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Two days Later

Chapter 10 - The Way to Redemption

Carson Beckett was once more sitting in the hated plastic chair beside Rodney's bed. The scientist was still sleeping, but was also running a high fever.

Carson hadn't reopened the wound, but he still needed to give McKay more antibiotics in order to fight the germs that were attacking his body. The scientist wasn't fighting off the infection very well and appeared to be losing the battle, leaving him weak and listless.

Rodney suddenly began tossing and mumbling, lost in fevered dreams of which there seemed to be no end.

Carson grabbed hold of his arm when the scientist started shaking his head back and forth calling out names. Beckett could have sworn he heard Lt. Ford's name mentioned, then Sheppard's, but he wasn't sure. The nightmares were getting worse and this was not helping his patient rest.

"Rodney, wake up lad, you're safe . . . "

Blue eyes flew open suddenly, trying to focus. Carson smiled, trying to calm him. "You're safe Rodney. There's no one here to hurt you."

"Carson . . . sorry, was dreaming . . . " Rodney said softly after realizing who was beside him.

"Aye, that you were . . . what was it about? I heard you mention Lt. Ford's name."

Rodney looked at Carson, then swallowed, not sure if he wanted to say, but then remembered telling the Doctor about Ford trying to kill him.

"I was dreaming about Ford, shooting at me. Sheppard finally came but chased after Ford . . . I was left behind." Rodney's voice dropped down to a whisper, hurt evident in his tone.

Carson was well aware of what happened, he had arrived on the scene in time to help Ronon get McKay down from the snare, while Colonel Sheppard had gone after Ford. There were two bullet holes in the rubber suit Rodney wore and a sizeable graze on one leg that had needed attention.

The Doctor sighed, he wasn't sure if Colonel Sheppard had been told what Ford had tried to do to Rodney. On the way back in the jumper, the Colonel seemed devastated that Ford had gotten away and hadn't said a word to anyone.

Maybe it was time he was told . . .

Rodney was hurting from having nightmares and from what Carson could see, Colonel Sheppard was blaming himself for a lot of things that had happened lately.

It was way past time for a talk. He got up to make a call.

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Sheppard made his way down the hall toward the infirmary. He had been planning on coming down and visiting McKay anyway, so Carson's call for him to come right away wasn't a problem.

He found Beckett in his office, staring at the wall, lost in thought, so John walked in.

"Carson?" he asked casually.

Beckett looked startled for a moment, then smiled. "Aye, just trying to go over Rodney's situation in my mind to be sure I haven't missed anything."

"How's he doing?"

"Not good, I'm afraid, his fever doesn't seem to want to budge." He looked carefully at Sheppard for any reaction to that news and was gratified to see the concern on the other man's face.

"Actually, it's why I asked you to come down here."

John looked surprised, "What can I do?"

Carson rubbed a hand tiredly over the back of his neck. "I need to tell you a few things about Rodney and hope that maybe after hearing them you might be able to help by talking to him."

John looked puzzled, "What things?"

''Well, first off, I know how badly you wanted to get Lt. Ford back from that planet we found Ronon on. Rodney wanted that as well and tried to talk Ford into coming back. He said Ford acted crazy, wanting to prove himself to you, so that he could return here redeemed. Ford also tried to shoot Rodney twice and the last time, if it weren't for Ronon, he'd have killed him."

John vaguely remembered the runner mentioning something about that, but he figured McKay must have told him and exaggerated. " I think McKay was over stating what happened. Ford wouldn't hurt him."

"You think not? Then why were there bullet holes in Rodney's rubber suit and a bullet wound on his leg?"

John was taken back by that news, "What?"

Carson was angry, sometimes what Rodney said was ignored and he was treated less than fair, "I hardly think Rodney did that to himself, or made up a story."

John shook his head, he had been upset that Ford had been snatched by the Wraith beam and blamed himself for not stopping the young Marine. He didn't know the extent of the Marine's addiction. Trying to kill McKay wasn't the sign of a sane individual.

"I didn't know that . . . Rodney never told me," John said softly.

Carson went on, "Rodney thinks he failed in getting Ford back as well, it's one reason why he tries so hard to find a way to defeat the Wraith. He hoped that finding a new weapon would help defeat the wraith, prevent more people from dying and maybe you'd be able to find Ford as well.

It's not always arrogance that drives Rodney, losing all those scientists almost destroyed him and Collins was the final straw. I think it might have broken him if he wasn't as strong a person."

John looked at him, aware of how close McKay and the Doctor were, but also knowing Carson wouldn't lie. He nodded in agreement as Carson continued.

"I think this is what has driven him to take chances and unnecessary risks, he needs to feel that he has done something to help avoid more people dying. He even risks himself. You know that."

"Yes, we couldn't do this without him," John said, knowing how they all counted on McKay to always come up with a plan to save them and for Rodney, failure was not an option.

Only now was John realizing the extent of the damage that Doranda had caused the scientist, it must have been devastating. Blinded by his own issues with the event, he hadn't stopped to think about how that failure made the scientist feel.

"You're a good person, Colonel, but so is Rodney, even though he sometimes acts like an ass. If you can't see beyond that part of him, then you're not the man I thought you were. Rodney risked his own life last month, to save Lt. Cadman. He didn't have to do that, but it was a risk he was willing to take.

What do you think Rodney would risk, if it meant getting a weapon that would defeat the Wraith?"

John sighed, not knowing what to say . . . but knowing the real question was

What would I risk for that weapon?

"Now, how about you tell me what happened on this mission?" Carson asked softly, needing to know in order to help Rodney.

John wiped his face with his hand, not sure if he could do this, but finally he gave in, maybe it's time to clear my conscience.

So he told Carson everything . . .

After he finished talking, John looked down at his hands, waiting for Carson to say something.

Beckett sat back in his chair. He could see the haunted look in the Colonel's eyes and knew it was time . . . "Well, I think you and Rodney need to have a little talk. He should be waking up soon, for his last dosage of meds will be wearing off."

"If you think it'll help . . . "

"Aye, I do. If nothing else, maybe he'll stop having nightmares and start to get the rest he needs. Right now he needs his friends to help him or he's not going to make it."

Carson watched as that news made Sheppard suddenly stare at him in shock.

"He's not getting better, is he?" John said softly, already knowing the answer.

Carson shook his head, "No . . . he's not . . . "

John slowly got up from the chair and made his way over to the room where McKay was. Carson watched him go, hoping that Sheppard's talking to his friend would help.

TBC

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