The next day, I'm Ok. I'm fine with the death of our ally, and in fact, I think I might like to move this just a little bit faster. But hey, don't get me wrong, there's no way I'm going to kill any of my allies. But I want to find more tributes before the Capitol starts to have fun manipulating us. After all, in a fight, we decide our own fates. The Capitol could target whoever they want, and the tributes wouldn't have any control over that.

We roll up our sleeping bags and split up Azure's supplies amongst ourselves. One sleeping bag is left behind when we take off again. The journey today is quiet: nobody says a word. Usually this awkward silence was filled by Azure whining, but there is no Azure to whine, and our alliance is left in a silence.

Cutter looks agitated by the awkward silence, and Melanie looks desperate to figure out something, anything that we can talk about in a hope to break the silence. Priscilla looks a lot like me in terms of walking. Very calm, cool, and pretending that there isn't a gaping hole in our day. She walks next to me and we sometimes exchange expressions, but we mostly embrace the silence and walk forward.

By lunchtime, we're all exhausted. The days are getting not only hotter but also dryer. The mud is now powdery dirt. The stream even seems to not flow as fast. It's drying.

Nobody in our alliance is willing to admit it quiet yet, but our source of water is drying up. I can see it, and I look out for alternate water sources all day. Each and every day, I feel more and more comfortable that we're far away from Boeh. She's probably still stalking the cornfield, looking for victims. From what our alliance understands, she hasn't been successful.

That is, unless she still has tributes hostage, just waiting to die already. And it could be any of them that we haven't found yet! It could be Cliff, for all we know! It could be Holly!

It could be Bean.

She could have Bean.

Okay, okay, that's enough thinking for now.

We all sit in a square for lunch, and Cutter distributes the supplies for all of us to eat. We eat in silence, trying to think of something to talk about, when Melanie suddenly asks, "What'd you guys bring for tokens?"

There's a pause as she takes a ring out of her pocket. The gem inside looks to be emerald.

"That's really pretty, Melanie," Priscilla says quietly. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a stone. It's a spherical crescent, so precise that I have no idea who carved it or where she got it from. She'd never shown it to me before.

"This is mine," she says quietly. "I know it's kinda… Strange. But it has a story, I promise."

"Yeah? What's that?" Cutter asks.

"I, uh, found it outside the Academy. It was a lot more lopsided when I got it, but I figured out how to use the limited supplies I had to make it really even and nice."

"That's cool, Priscilla…" I'm about to add the question of why she wouldn't show it to me, but I soon decide that's not exactly the best idea in the world because she'd come back with something cold about how I didn't talk to her for a whole year after the First Games. I probably would've kept running from her if we weren't in an Arena together and allies.

"Thanks, Nate," she says quietly, putting the stone back in the pocket of her jacket.

"What do you have, Nate?" asks Melanie.

I fumble and pull out the mallet. It used to go with a toy xylophone I had when I was a kid. I may've forgotten to mention that I got it the night before I volunteered, already knowing my need of a token. Come to think of it, I don't remember at all what Elijah's token was. I don't think he had one. I wish I would've given him one. Then maybe he would've had a stronger reminder of home when he was stuck in that creepy house-

"Nate?" Priscilla asks quietly, snapping me out of it.

"Sorry," I mutter. I really hate zoning out like that.

I wonder what it looks like when I lose touch with the present. Do I look scared at all? God, that'd suck. Hopefully I just keep on a straight face, like I always do.

I wonder if Cupcake can tell when I zone out. He was pretty good at getting my attention, that's for sure.

"So, uh, I'm guessing that went with a toy xylophone?" Cutter asks with a smile.

I remember when Elijah and I used to play it. He was more musically inclined than anyone gave him credit for. While he can hold whatever pitch he wants, I'm better with rhythm… The point is that it didn't take long for Elijah to learn some of the songs we liked as kids and he taught some of them to me, even though I would often forget them the next day. When he first played for Ashley and Priscilla, well, I dunno if I've ever seen a child that was more amazed. Even though I'd heard him play so many times before, I was always impressed.

"Yeah," I say to Cutter, trying to fake the best smile possible at a memory that now contains two ghosts.

He provides an encouraging smile to me. Melanie glances over at Cutter and says, "What'd you bring, Cutter?"

"Me?!" he looks alarmed. "N-nothing. I didn't bring anything."

"You didn't?" Priscilla asks quietly. None of us believes him.

"No," he says quickly. We all decide not to bother him about and the three of us start packing up our things. He eventually does the same and we're walking again very soon.

None of us talk throughout the afternoon, and this time, everyone (especially Cutter) seems Ok with this. We walk and walk until we come across a backpack on the ground. A tribute is to be found here. The question is, who?

She comes walking around, back to her shabby little camp, very casually. Obviously she wasn't expecting to see us there. When she does she screams.

Her ankle is still injured from when Cutter shot it with an arrow. Her eyes explode with fear as she turns to run. Holly doesn't actually run very well, considering she's injured. Cutter kills her quickly with a perfect shot, right in the back. She collapses immediately.

Cutter flashes us a look that I can only describe as part-happy, and part-terrified. A cannon rings out and Cutter immediately turns around and quickly starts walking away. Melanie, Priscilla and I exchange a quiet, grave look before turning and slowly following him.

I don't know where Cutter wants to go, but I let him keep the lead for a while as he leads us far away from where Holly died. I'm guessing he wants to find the Cornucopia again, and especially move away from not only the spot of Holly's death, but also Azure's. Also, well, I think he wants to move far away before we have to encounter Juniper and Flounder again. They could find us again. Either we would have to kill both of them, or they would take down another one, two, three of us. Maybe even all four, even though that's highly unlikely.

If we come across either of them again, I will not hesitate to kill both of them. We're too far into the Game now for me to soften up any more than I already was. Which means that any "conversations" I have with Elijah can nothappen. He's my conscience, and him nagging me about how I know, deep inside somehow, that killing people is wrong. But I don't need those innocent blue eyes to tell me that I'm wrong when I already know that I am.

Which means that sleep these next couple of days is going to be limited. I can only hope he doesn't show up at all in the next couple days, just until I'm out of this Arena.

For now, I put all my vulnerabilities behind me and put on my game face. This game is still moving too slow, for my opinion. I need to get this over with extremely fast, getting the hard part done and over with, and then recovering later. But I can't be hurting then recovering over and over again.

We walk until twilight comes upon the Arena and we set up for the evening. Melanie and Priscilla go out looking for game, while Cutter and I are supposed to set up supplies. He wanders off and paces, while I roll out the sleeping bags across the open plain. It's getting cold, and I shiver.

Melanie and Priscilla come back, Melanie holding in her palm a bunch of berries. The berries are nice and stout, looking perfectly juicy. The juice that does escape is revealed by the lantern to be a bright orange color. Melanie's eyes flicker down to the berries.

"Priscilla and I weren't sure if this was safe," Melanie says. "They just look so good… Nate, do you happen to know anything?"

I remember these from the edible berry station.

"Oh, yeah. They're delicious!" I ensure, with a smile.

Melanie puts the entire handful in her mouth and I take Priscilla harshly by the arm and drag her toward me as the girl from District 4 collapses, holding her stomach and making retching noises.

"Nate!" Priscilla squeaks quietly, "Wh-what's going on!?"

Cutter comes running back to us.

"Melanie!" he squeaks, alarmed, "What happened?!"

The body goes limp and we hear a cannon roar out.

Priscilla suddenly looks hysterical, "Nate, what did you do!? NATE!"

I pretend for Cutter to be just as hysterical as her, "Oh God, I don't know! She just… She just collapsed!"

"Nate!" Priscilla screams at me but I give her a look and she shuts up.

"I can't believe it!" I shout, channeling the hysteria I felt last year close to this time.

Cutter takes off away from us and curls up in a sleeping bag. He covers his face with the sleeping bag as the hovercraft approaches us to take Melanie away from us forever. Priscilla squeaks and says, "Nate, what was that!? What the hell did you do!?"

"I did nothing."

"She trusted you, and you… You…" she sounds on the verge of tears.

I sit and pull her down next to me. "Priscilla, listen. This is a fight to the death. This is is a fight to the d-e-a-t-h, and if we don't start killing people, then you bet your ass the Capitol'll start."

"So!? Melanie was our ally!"

"So, I promised you that one of the two of us is going to make it out alive. I promised you that one of the two of us is going to come out alive. You or me. Not Melanie, not Cutter, and not even Bean."

"Don't. Bring up. Bean," she says quietly.

"Right, sorry. Anyways, the point is that I don't give a damn about any of them! You and I, alright? That's all I care about right now. And the number of tributes is falling each and every day. We didn't need Melanie anymore. It was the easiest way."

She sniffles, tears forming in her eyes. "What about Cutter?" she finally asks, in a quivering voice.

I think about how to respond, without Priscilla freaking out. She really likes him.

Suddenly the two of us hear a voice.

"What about Cutter?"

He has a bow and arrow trained on my head. I have no idea when he came over, but the darkness sure worked in his favor.

"So, District 2 is going to kill each ally, one by one, are they?"

"That was never the plan," I mutter.

"You think it's Ok to team up against the rest of us!?"

"No, Cutter, you have the wrong idea!"

"Bet Platinum told you it was Ok, didn't he? I'll bet your little Cupcake told you to manipulate Melanie! You know, in those sponsor notes that none of the rest of us ever got to see? And it's all because he has you picked to fucking win."

Priscilla gazes at me with hurt brown eyes. "Nate… Is that true?"

I put on a straight face and lie. "No. Not at all. The presents came without a note, and if there would've been, you all would've seen."

Cutter lets out a bitter laugh. "I dunno what or who you think he is that makes him such a hero in your eyes, but he's not! Ha, your little Cupcake has destroyed lives!"

"He destroyed mine, too. But he helped me put it back together!" my hand goes closer and closer to my sword.

"Yeah, well unfortunately, not all of us had the luxury of his teaching. Because, while he was telling you how to win, he was neglecting me! You know what, it's because he's weak."

"He's not weak! He helped me through!"

"It's because he can't even fucking look me in the face after what happened! He can't stand to apologize to anyone, and it's been driving me fucking CRAZY for a week in a half! Who the hell came in and made you the Victor?! Just because you're the volunteer, doesn't mean you're already a Victor."

"Guys, stop!" Priscilla pipes up, sounding close to tears, "Please!"

"Yeah, well just because you're from District 1 doesn't mean you're all that great, either!"

"Cutter! Nate! Cut it out!" she cries.

"How the hell do you think your Cupcake's gonna feel when I let this arrow fly, huh McIalwain!? IT WOULD CERTAINLY SERVE HIM FUCKING RIGHT, AFTER THE HELL HE PUT ME THROUGH! BET YOU WISH YOU APOLOGIZED NOW, DON'T YOU!?"

"Cutter!" Priscilla shrieks, "Nate!"

We both ignore her.

"I don't know what the hell your problem is!" I tell him simply.

"The problem is that I've been to fucking hell and back and everyone just expects me to be Ok all the time! The problem is that Platinum's taken more from me than ANYONE knows and now it's my turn to take something from him!"

I pull out my sword. "I'm not afraid of you."

He looks like he's having trouble shooting. His hands shake and his eyes get softer. Even so, he still chokes out, "Big mistake."

Priscilla stands in the middle of the two of us and I run over to shove her out of the way just as Cutter releases the arrow he was holding. It flies past the two of us: I think he pulled the bow away when he saw Priscilla run between us. I charge at him with the sword until I feel a burning sensation in my ankle. When I swivel on a foot, it's Priscilla.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL-"

"NATE, YOU NEED TO STOP!" she sobs. "YOU NEED TO STOP!"

Cutter loads another arrow but Priscilla charges at him, too, "YOU BOTH NEED TO JUST LET IT GO!"

Cutter aims but before he can pull the string back she cuts him, too. As the knife makes contact with his skin, Cutter shrieks and stumbles backwards. When he sees the blood he looks feint, tears bubbling out of his eyes as he watches it bleed out. But Priscilla's method worked, because I think both of us feel considerably calmer.

"I'll go on watch first," Priscilla says. "We need to stick together because right now we all need each other. Cutter, don't hate Nate for liking Platinum. And Nate, don't hate Cutter for hating him."

The Capitol anthem starts just then and we all freeze. Nobody wants to talk during the Capitol anthem. Melanie's face shows up first in the sky, then Holly. Then the seal one last time, and the projection fades. As soon as the music stops, Priscilla walks back to the sleeping bags and says, "Now let's please get some rest."

I lay down and fall into the lightest possible sleep I can, thinking of everything I can except for the events of the night.