A/N: Double chapter tonight because this is just a filler. Also, my mom asked if she could read my fics the other day... Yeah, imagine my reaction. Anyway, nothing about this fic is going to change, but I am going to create a more *ahem* innocent fic that runs paralell to this one. It's going to be the exact same story only without all the perviness and whatnot. Just thought I'd let you know, so that if you see that floating around you don't instantly freak out. More info on that bit next week.

I returned to the guild with Fey at my side at the beginning of the evening. We saw the guild in its usual commotion, and as we strolled in we saw Lisanna chasing after a cloud that contained a brawling Gray and Natsu. She stopped trying to get the two to stop when she saw me, and paused to talk. "Hey, Dio. How did the job go?"

I smiled at my friend and replied, "Easy enough. I ran into some minor unexpected complications, otherwise I would've been home sooner."

"It was an S-class job, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

She peeked over at Mirajane before leaning in, "I've been wanting to go on one. Mirajane says she'll take Elf-nii-chan and me at the same time, but I don't want to wait." She straightened and gave me puppy eyes, "Will you take me on one? I know I won't be much help – if any – when it comes to fighting, but I just want to observe so that when Mira-nee takes me I might not look like an idiot."

I was taken aback and looked to Fey for help, who gave none. "I don't know. I haven't even taken Gray with me on an S-class. In fact, I've never taken anyone but Fey with me on a job of any kind. Can you ask someone else?"

She peered sadly down at her shoes and shook her head, "I'd ask Erza, but everyone knows how it is between her and my sister. I don't want to drive a wedge deeper between them. Gildarts has been gone for a year; otherwise he'd be my first choice. Maybe Natsu would be able to come too if I went with him. *Sigh* Laxus is super scary and mean, and he'd make fun of me if I even brought it up. And that new guy Mystogan is never around, plus he's a bit too mysterious for my liking, so that leaves you."

I nodded in agreement to all of her statements, and then sighed. "I'll think about it. Probably no, though. I couldn't bear it if something happened to you because I'm not used to watching out for other people. Not to mention the wrath of your siblings… but it would be kind of cool to take you. I'd much like to see your skills in action. Hm. Hunt me down in a week for my final answer. Also, duck."

We ducked down to miss a chair flying at our heads that Natsu had thrown, and Lisanna went back to chasing the guys down so that they would quit breaking things. Fey flew off with Happy, and I ordered a drink and sat down at a table to people watch. I was sitting quietly when there was a sliding sound and suddenly I was being squished between two bodies. I looked left and right. Both people who had trapped me had expressions of scrutiny on their faces, though one person was more genuinely curious, and the other mischievous. I was stuck between Kana and Laxus.

"I noticed." Kana needlessly informed me. Obviously she had noticed something strange or interesting, or she wouldn't have approached me the way she did. What it was that she noticed was yet a mystery to me.

Then I turned to Laxus whom I was severely confused as to why he would want to be near me, let alone with that look on his face. "I'm guessing your job went a little better than expected." he sniggered.

Totally befuddled, I switched between their gazes for answers, "What are you two talking about?"

Kana answered first, "The way you walked in. There was… something. I've seen other people do it before and you're the only one I can trust not to laugh and say 'you'll know one day'."

I nodded and turned to the other one, who admitted, "Oh, I'm just here to find out whether or not it was an awkward disaster."

I squinted at him, "No, and how is that any of your business?"

"You're the first of all your little friends, and so I can probably guess how theirs will go based on yours. So I know whether or not I can tease them when they walk in the way you did."

Kana prodded my arm with her finger, drawing my attention toward her so she could ask, "Their what? Everyone's what?"

Laxus leaned behind me to educate Kana, "Dio had sex."

She gasped before demanding, "Tell me all about it." From there both began to listen intently, and both for different purposes.

Annoyed, I grit my teeth at their nosiness. "No."

Kana whined, "C'mooon. I'm your best friend."

Sparky laughed, "I knew it was awful!"

I stood and slammed my hands on the table, fully prepared to go off on him. Then I realized the only way to get him off my back was to give him the truth. Again, I grit my teeth and whisper snapped at him so only he could hear, "It was in a hurry on a table. He was more than willing to fool around afterwards."

His eyes lit up, "Really? I might have to try this sometime." He slid a fingertip across my hip and I slapped him out of his seat. He sprang back up with, "THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!"

"WANNA TAKE IT TO COURT?!" I raged.

We got into an all out fist fight until Kana spoke up, "Uh, guys?" Directing our glares at her, we saw we were being watched and pompously turned away from each other to maintain our dignity, and Laxus left the vicinity. I stuck my tongue out at his back before sitting back down with Kana. The rest of the night went on normally except that Kana kept begging me to tell her what had happened, and how it went. She dropped the subject abruptly, though, when I offered to pay for her drinks for the rest of the night.

The funny thing was, after me, there was a domino effect of people losing their V-cards. Kana and I began arriving early at the guilds and even began taking bets when we noticed the pattern. At the time, Gray had a girlfriend, and about a week after I'd come home he came sauntering in to the guild, with Kana and I mock-applauding him. Mirajane was the next to show up with a spring in her step one morning, even though she looked like she hadn't gotten much sleep. My friend and I had been buzzed by the time she'd arrived that morning, and she returned our knowing grins. Laki was next, followed by Warren, and at this point Kana and I had taken to sitting by the door. One day Kana herself came through the door, and I was left sniggering like I was mad. Whoever lost the bets we made would pay for drinks the whole day, and when the other went home they would be completely smashed. I soon put an end to the bets when Kana kept using her cards to predict who would be next. My drunkard friend and I excitedly elbowed each other like crazy when Natsu seemed sheepish when he arrived that morning, and we gave each other mad bruises when Lisanna showed up shortly after him wearing that same expression. A few more people walked in with epic faces and walks over the next few weeks, allowing the card user and I hours of entertainment as we tried to imagine what they'd been like.

Around the same time I'd put an end to her cheating antics, I'd found myself a guy to date. It was nothing serious even though he was nice enough, but I was at the guild a lot more often so that I could see him. We would go on double dates with Kana and her man, and the guys seemed to like each other so that was a plus. We went out for a quite a few months, and slept together a couple of times, but in the end outgrew each other and split apart.