Porcelain
They corner me against the old bakery.
"What a freak!"
"Look at its forehead!"
"Billboard –Brow! That what it is!"
I feel the rocks as they hit my arms and legs.
I've been going to the academy for months now yet I still haven't made any friends. The girls in class make fun of me, they call me names because of my forehead and hair. They look at me like I'm a toy for them to play with or break. Like I'm their doll.
A broken little doll.
Dressed in clothes that are handed down, not bought or made with care. It's vibrant pink hair is cut to its chin while it's bangs cover it's most obvious flaw. A pathetic, broken doll with eyes a lifeless dull green, covered in tiny little cracks.
That's me, I'm the doll.
And doll can't do anything on its own.
Stop hurting me! It's not my fault!
A doll just waits to be moved by its master.
Why can't you hear me crying!
A doll doesn't fight back against its owner.
I'm alive! I'm not a doll! Don't you see my tears? Don't you hear my voice?
I'm a doll. A doll getting played with, because people break dolls, it's how you show them they are useful. Its how you play with them 'cause isn't it fun to chop off a dolls hair? To pop off their head then drown their face in nail polish and ink? Leave them in clothes that are too wild or bright? You can't miss a doll on the floor covered in red and green now can you?
It hurts! Stop hurting me! I've never done anything wrong!
I'm Mommy's doll now too. When daddy was forced to find a new job Mommy didn't smile at me for a long time. She would just freeze me with her icy gaze and stop me with her painful words.
That is until the day she made me her doll.
Mommy likes to cut my hair, cut it off and gives me bangs. She paints my face too, puts make up on me to make her smile. She's playing with me, because I'm a doll. She gives me clothes from the lost and found too. Isn't she kind? They are usually colored in red or green. "Those colors look good on you", she gushes. "I love the way they complement you hair and eyes. The boys will too and then you can marry someone from a clan!" Those are her usual compliments.
See? Mommy cares, she's playing with her doll.
She doesn't care, she doesn't care! She used too, but not anymore. She only smiles at the shell, never at me. She doesn't hug me anymore unless she dressed the shell up. She doesn't say she loves me anymore, just the way things look on me. Mommy doesn't care! She makes me feel cold!
The kids care too. They are playing with me now.
They are not! They're hurting me! Each hit is another icicle stabbing into my heart!
The chill in their eyes prove they care. Mommy gets the same look when she plays with me.
Stop it! Please stop…
I sit in the middle of the street, having fallen after running away from a bright boy who just recently started following me around at school. I can't have him with me because it's obvious he's loved more than I am. Not only do the children look at him with their freezing emotions but so do the adults. Exactly like Mommy and Daddy look at me, so that means they care for him too. And if they all love him who will love me? Jealous tears leak from my eyes.
Please, somebody help… Stop this maddness
Mommy won't be home for a while and Daddy would just ask me about my grades. He wants me to be a prime kunoichi so I can do him proud. To do that I read every day otherwise he speaks in that voice again. In a hushed tone that hurts even more than Mommy's stares. A doll must wait.
Besides I'm sleepy, the tears I cry wouldn't stop coming but they don't hurt me either. I try to wipe them away and when more fall I whine out in frustration. I feel hollow now but I'm fine. Only the cold chill others give is keeping me stable and solid. But that's okay I've been like this since Daddy's ambush.
It's not okay. I'm not fine….
"So everyone makes fun of your forehead huh?" asks a voice.
I jolt up. Looking to a girl with short ice blond hair and deep blue eyes. She squats down in front of me with her hands on her knees holding them together. I start to shiver. Those eyes…
They're warm…
"Who are…?"
She grins, warming me up a little more with each passing second. That's not good, a doll can't be warm. It'll melt.
Finally some warmth. It's been so long…
"I'm Yamanaka Ino, what about you?" The master cocks her head to the side, awaiting an answer from me. The doll.
No! She's asking for me! Not the doll! But me! I-I have to tell her! Sh-she can save me!
"I'm Sakura.." I reply in my normal tone.
Damnit! No she's asking for me!
"Huh?" Ino brings a hand to her ear, leaning closer as if to understand. "Speak up! I can't hear you!"
I tilt my head forward, my pink bangs covering my eyes as I feel a painful burst of heat from my chest.
Finally…this is my chance!
"My name is Sakura Haruno!"
She heard me! I was heard!
With a humph of a sigh, Ino leans back. A satisfied smirk on her lips, while warmth of her eyes continues to slowly melting more of ice within me.
"Sakura huh?"
Grinning she leans forward and pokes me. Internally I hear a crack.
"Ah so this is the famous big forehead huh?" she brushes her soft fingers through my bangs. My body stiffens up. "You try to hide it with your hair? Why would you do that? It makes you look like a ghost!" Ino exclaims.
The heat of her hand is melting the ice more, the porcelain is cracking under her innocent touch. Heating my heart again.
Please, Ino help…
It hurts! Stop melting! Stay cold! I silently shout as the tears gush out from my eyes.
Ino's face shows surprise for a moment before it gives me her warmest smile yet. Then as is she knew of my fear she with drawls her hand and walks away.
No…
Ino looks at me over her shoulder, "It's Sakura right? Well come here again tomorrow!" She calls out.
"Huh?"
Again that soft expression. "I'll give you something nice!" And with that she's gone.
Okay that was part one of Sakura's childhood with Ino. The next one is basically the rest of her days and friendship with Ino and maybe the one after that the Fall Out. The fall out chapter will show Sakura's reaction to Naruto and Sasuke. Because it always bugged me that while Sakura was bullied Naruto and her never got along outside of school. Which is why in my other Sakura story Sakura and Naruto are friends as children. However this story is following a canon story line until the finals of the Chunnin Exams. There will be major time skips because of that but this couldn't be avoided because it's a major moment of Sakura's life.
And sorry this took me forever to upload. This story is just basically me trying to make sense of Sakura's mindset while shipping her with Gaara. I mean we already have 'Inner' in a sense. The Doll is basically Outer while all the italicized thoughts is her true self if you haven't gotten the clue.
Shout out to zombiekins5948, random-k and MinaBlahBlahBlahAnimeFan for being the first three to comment this screwed up story!