A/N: I was surprised to see the reception this story got. Thank you so much! It occurred to me three or so weeks ago that at the end of this season we'll know what Jane does after Red John's gone, and fic's like this won't be so common. I always love the fics where he leaves and they find each other again, so I thought I'd better write one before we know what actually happens. Haha! The beginning of the chapter is a little angsty, but I'm now working it toward my original intent, which is humor. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

A year ago

The streetlight in front of Lisbon's apartment was out, but the moon was more than bright enough to see by. Jane stood with his hands in his pockets in front of her door for ten minutes before he felt brave enough to knock. So much had happened in the last forty-eight hours. He couldn't remember ever feeling so free and so stuck at the same time.

He took a deep breath, reached up and rapped out a soft rhythm on her door. He knew she was awake, even though it was past midnight and the lights were off in her house. How could she not be? He doubted anyone of the team would be sleeping much for the next little while.

He shoved his hands in his pockets and waited. It took her fifteen seconds to walk down her stairs, cross her living room and turn on her front room and porch lights. He watched the peephole waiting for it to go dark, then smiled when it did.

"Jane?" she questioned through the door. "What are you doing here?"

"Open up Lisbon, we need to talk," he replied.

In his mind's eye he could see her roll her eyes, step away from her door and take a deep breath. When she did open the door, seconds later, she glared at him. He stepped into her apartment, stopping by her door, as she shut and locked it again. He tried to focus on what he'd come here to say and not on the fact that her jersey was hanging off one shoulder, that her legs were bare, or that her hair was deliciously rumpled.

She turned to him and motioned to her couch. "Want to sit down?"

He shook his head.

She stared at him for a moment, then looked at the carpet. He knew she was losing patience with him, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to say what needed to be said the longer he was with her and he hadn't even been there for five minutes yet.

He took a deep breath and decided to just go for it. "I'm leaving."

Her brow furrowed. "Good, that's probably a good thing. Get out of town for a few days, get your bearings back." She scratched her arm. "But really, you couldn't wait to tell me this in the morning?"

"No, Lisbon. You don't understand." He reached forward and grabbed her shoulders, immediately regretting his decision to do so when his hand touched bare shoulder. "I'm leaving. Tonight."

"Oh," she swallowed, but kept her demeanor calm. "Well thanks for letting me know. When will you be back?"

Jane opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out. Instead he simply held eye contact with her. He watched as her chin pulled back and saw the exact moment she figured it out. Her face went from forced calm to distressed in a split second and she started shaking her head. "No," she said.

He felt sick to his stomach. For years he had dreamed what it'd be like after he killed Red John. The tremendous weight of guilt and anguish he'd been carrying around had vanished just as he thought it would, but it was replaced with another burden, just as heavy. He'd never imagined that he'd have to leave.

"The media is having field day with this," he hunched down to look her in the eye, "and the Bureau isn't pleased either." He hoped that she would understand him.

"So you're running," she choked out. "La Roche is over our case, Jane. He already said that we were completely justified in our actions and promised you…"

He felt his heart clench. "Because you lied for me," he said.

She didn't give him time to continue down this vein. "I didn't lie. You saved me and Rigsby by doing what you did."

What he did was stab Red John to death. He supposed it was true that he had acted in defense of others, but it wasn't stopping the media from digging where they shouldn't and in his heart of hearts he knew he would have killed him even if he hadn't been about to shoot Rigsby. Granted, looking back on it now, he wished he'd brought a gun. Stabbing someone was not a pleasant experience. It hadn't even helped that it was Red John.

No one was particularly unhappy that the infamous Red John was dead, what the bureau and the media didn't like was that an employee of the Bureau could do something that they considered totally cold blooded, despite the circumstances. He hadn't even brought a knife with him; he'd simply grabbed it and reacted. He could still see the blood flying as the knife plunged in over and over again. Rigsby and Lisbon literally had to drag him away.

And now the team was paying the consequences. The praise that the team had initially received for bringing down the killer was now being marred by his actions. Lisbon especially, because she was lauding his actions as nothing less than heroic, but apparently others were having a hard time seeing multiple stab wounds as heroic. As far as Jane could tell, the difference between the team and everyone else, is that they weren't focusing on how Jane had killed Red John, but on what Red John would've done had he not been killed. Jane saw himself neither way, he wasn't the out of control consultant that he was being painted as by the media and he was the hero the team was making him out to be either. Truth is he'd been in total control.

"I stabbed him nine times. He was dead after my first blow," he reminded her. Her eyes started to sparkle and she looked away. "I need space. I need to get away and figure out what my life holds from here on out. I need to come to grips with the fact that my old purpose for living is gone, and I need to do that away from the team, and away from you."

She gasped, then looked at him with all the fury she could muster, her tears were brimming her eyes now. "And what about the team, Jane? Don't we matter—don't I matter? This hasn't been easy for any of us, but you don't see Cho packing his bags and skipping out of town." She pointed a finger at him. "How would you feel if I showed up at your door in the middle of the night and told you that I couldn't be near you, that I had to leave in order to find myself again? Huh?" She jabbed a dainty finger in his chest, but he kept his hold on her shoulders. "How would that make you feel?"

"I'd feel horrible," he told her truthfully. He knew he'd taken her aback, but couldn't wait for her to interpret his meaning and plowed on. "You're my best friend. You've been pretty near everything that has meant anything to me since my family died. I don't want you to imagine for one second that this is easy for me. It's just something that I have to do."

A tear finally spilled down her cheek, and she reached up to wipe it hastily away. "Why do you have to do it?" she whispered.

"So I can be a better man, a man who deserves you and the team," he said. It took her a moment to register what he'd said, but before she could respond, he'd pulled her into fierce embrace. "I will be back."

"When?" she murmured against his shoulder.

He wished he knew, he wished he could give her a specific date, but he couldn't because he just wasn't sure when his presence in her life would be considered a good thing. "However long it takes," was all he could think to reply.

"I won't wait forever," she said then for his benefit added, "neither will the team." She wrapped her arms firmly around him in return reminding him for the millionth time why she was the center of his universe and why he needed to leave.

He pulled back and looked her in the eye. "When I come back you and I are going to have a long talk about…everything." He reached forward and tilted her chin up to make more than sure she understood. "Things are going to change. Do you understand me?" he asked.

She nodded and fisted the fabric of his shirt at his sides in her hands.

"I need to hear you say you understand," he said fiercely.

She squared her shoulders. "I need something from you first. An eye for an eye, Jane. I won't spend my life giving into you just because you tell me I should and just because I do most the time."

He saw the sincerity in her eyes. "All right. What do you want?"

"Your word," she said cleanly. Lisbon was one of the few people in the world who knew him at all well and one thing she knew was that while Jane frequently lied to and manipulated people, her included, she knew when he gave his word that he kept it. "But I don't want you to give it if you don't mean it or have reservations. If you say it, it better be because you feel it to your core. Otherwise you can go ahead and leave right now for all…"

"I promise," he said before she could finish. "I will be back. I'll be back for you. Never forget that. Now you."

She looked a little shell shocked and it took her a moment before she could respond and when she did, it was as if she couldn't really believe what'd just happened. "I understand," she replied. She wiped an errant tear from her eye. "Is this where we say goodbye?"

Jane shook his head. "No, because this isn't goodbye."

He reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze. The months ahead wouldn't be pleasant for either of them, but they were necessary. He didn't worry so much for her; she had her job and the team to turn to. She'd be okay. Still, he had made her a promise and he knew that if he broke it, she'd never forgive him.

When he left he locked the image he had of her standing in her doorway, watching him walk to his car, and finally waving as he pulled out of her parking lot, firmly into his memory palace. He put it in a special room reserved just for her, a room he would visit often over the next year.

Present Day

Every seat at the bar was taken, which wasn't unexpected given it was an open bar. Jane stood at the end, between two people fiddling with his bowtie and waited for the cherry cola he'd ordered. The bartender gave him a look that suggested he thought he was crazy as Jane took his drink and asked with the enthusiasm of a child if he could have a cherry on top.

"Give it to him," a familiar voice said behind Jane.

He looked over his shoulder and smiled then turned his attention back to the bartender until he had his cherry. "Hello Walter," he said.

"Patrick," Walter returned before looking at the bartender. "I'll have a scotch on the rocks, Glenlivet, if you have it."

The bartender nodded as Jane turned to face Walter. "Aren't you looking roguish," Jane said as he took a sip of his drink.

Walter's chest puffed out as he grabbed the lapel of his tux. "Do you think so? I was going for James Bond?"

Jane smiled and stuck a hand in his own tux pocket. "Pretty close," he said.

Walter smiled and then grabbed his drink from the bartender before making a show of swirling it around in his tulip-shaped glass. He then smelled it and finally tasted it. Jane fought the urge to do the same thing with his cherry cola and settled for eating his cherry.

"I'm surprised to see you here," Walter said. "I wasn't even sure you'd received my invitation."

Jane rolled back on his heels. "I've had someone checking my mail for me."

"I heard about Red John." Walter shoved his own free hand into his pocket, subconsciously mirroring Jane. "I'm glad you were finally able to get the bastard. I admit though that I was disbelieving, shall we say, when I was told you'd left the CBI."

Jane shrugged. "It was unexpected for me as well. Although, I do believe my hiatus is over."

"You're going back?" Walter asked looking out over his party. Jane had to admit it was something to be seen, everyone was dressed in evening apparel and the rook itself was decorated with white and pink roses, small white Christmas lights hung across the ceiling and entryways and there was a live band. Walter had certainly gone all out.

"It's time. If they'll have me, of course," Jane said simply. "You haven't been inactive yourself since last I saw you. You earned another several billion dollars, bought another home in Europe and almost got married again."

Walter tipped his head to the side quickly before smiling. "You did your homework, I'm impressed."

"Thank you," Jane said.

Walter looked quickly at Jane and his smile faded. "You don't think Teresa will hold that against me, do you?"

Jane smiled. "Only one way to find out. Is she here yet?"

Walter nodded. "I was told me as I headed over here that she'd just come in. I would've gone straight to see her, but how could I pass up a chance to say hello to my dear friend Patrick before my evening becomes otherwise engaged."

Jane felt his jaw tighten briefly.

Walter's brow furrowed. "How did you know she was going to be here?"

"I saw her this morning in the restaurant. Lisbon isn't the kind of woman who flies down to Malibu on vacation. She had to be here on business and since the rest of the team wasn't with her, your gala was the only logical explanation."

Walter smiled. "It's brilliant the way you read people. Does she know you're here?"

"Not yet," Jane said before taking a sip of his soda. "As a matter of fact I'll come with you. It'd be rude if I didn't at least say 'hello'."

Walter gave Jane a curious glance, before Jane grabbed his arm briefly so he could move him away from the bar. The two made their way through the crowd, being stopped often by Walter's friends and adoring fan club, but it wasn't long before Jane picked Lisbon out in the crowd.

She wore a dark emerald dress that neared black in color with capped lace sleeves and a lace back that he could see her skin through, the body of the dress cinched at her waist and flowed out from there and was satin and she wore black suede high heels that gave her an extra four inches. Her hair was pulled up into a twist and bangs hung to the side over her forehead. Walter saw her a moment after he had and they both stopped, unwittingly, to look at her. She was a vision.

Walter handed his scotch to a passing waiter without looking at him and moved in her direction. Jane followed quickly and caught up before Walter reached her. She was in the middle of a conversation with a man who was clearly hitting on her, but she wasn't doing much to encourage him. The man saw Jane and Walter before she did and when she turned to see what the man talking her up was looking at, she immediately took a step back at their quick advance on her. Her chin pulled back as she looked at Jane, then Walter and then Jane once again.

"Teresa Lisbon," Walter said. "It's been too long." Before she could respond or before Jane had the opportunity to intervene in some way, Walter had moved in on her and was giving her a hug.

She didn't hug him back, only looked shell shocked, but she still managed to look at Jane over Walter's shoulder. Jane gave her a warm smile. When Walter pulled away he kept her shoulders in his grasp and she looked up at him.

"Walter, how are you?" she asked, and Jane was a little perturbed to see that she was genuinely curious.

"Much better now that you're here," Walter said with a twinkle in his eye that even Jane could see. "I'm thrilled you decided to come."

She smiled at him. "Now Walter, it's not like I had much choice in the matter, now did I?"

"You could've said no," he told her.

She scoffed. "Yeah right."

Jane lifted his glass to his mouth and took a loud sip of his soda. Both Teresa and Walter looked in his direction and Walter took a step back from her. Jane handed his drink to Walter without looking at him and moved in to give her his own hug. He saw Walter's face fall as he took his drink and as he moved forward, but he couldn't be bothered by that when the scent of honeysuckle mixed with another very clean smell was wafting off of Lisbon.

She responded to his hug, but was still hesitant. Jane decided not to let it bother him, because at least she'd hugged him back, with Walter her hands had stayed stiff at her sides. Jane turned his head into her hair. "You look lovely," he whispered into her ear, allowing his lips to graze her ear.

He felt her stiffen, felt her hands slide up his chest and then felt her slowly push him away. She was trying to be inconspicuous, but he had the feeling that if they'd been alone she would've shoved him back.

"I didn't know you were going to be here, Jane," she said. Her eyes still firmly fastened on his.

"Surprise." He shrugged with a small smile as he looked at her. It wasn't hard to tell that she was uncomfortable with his proximity with Walter standing right there, and even though he had the urge to make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that Walter should stay away from her, he was still desperate to fix things with Teresa, and she had never been one to be flattered by men trying to mark her as their territory. So, with some effort, he stepped back. He saw her face immediately relax, but he also saw her give him a quick uncertain glance.

This morning she had claimed that being away from him for a year had left her more clueless about his conduct than ever before, but he knew from that small facial expression that she was completely aware he'd done something uncharacteristic.

He watched as she looked uncomfortably between him and Walter. He knew he was staring, but it couldn't be helped. Aside from this morning he hadn't seen her in a year and he felt as though his eyes were gorging all they could after a yearlong Lisbon fast. It took a moment before he had his wits back, made only that much more difficult when she had started to blush, and he was about to ask her to dance.

"Could I persuade you to dance with me?" Walter asked beating him to the punch.

She sighed. "That would be nice, thank you," she responded. A small smile crossed her lips when Walter extended his free hand for her to take. He then shoved Jane's drink back at him and led Lisbon to the dance floor. Jane berated himself for not acting quicker.

As soon as he'd seen her this morning he'd come up with a scheme to get back in her good graces. As he watched Walter sweep her around the dance floor, he wondered why it hadn't occurred to him to factor in Walter as a distraction.

Two hours later, Jane hadn't even succeeded in getting a dance with her, let alone a moment alone to talk to her. Part of it was Walter, but Lisbon was the real difficulty. She took every opportunity to get as far away from him as possible. She'd insisted on Walter introducing her to people that Jane knew she didn't care about or to know, had used him as a distraction by telling everyone that he was a magician and had even taken over leading on the dance floor when she saw him coming, very ably moving her and Walter out of his path. He couldn't even be irritated by the last one, because Walter hadn't even realized she'd done it. It was very sneaky.

It was painfully clear that he'd been away too long. He'd thought that he was doing the right thing—that in the end things would be better off because of his absence. He'd even recently considered not going back to the CBI for another six months, despite the fact that the very idea had made him feel terribly homesick. Not that it mattered now, because it was no longer an option. The entire reason he left would be for nothing if he couldn't get her trust back, and he could already see that it wasn't going to be easy. Especially if she kept avoiding him like she was.

He saw her yawn behind her hand a couple times and knew it wouldn't be long before she started making her excuses, so he put another plan into action. He moved around to the side of the dance floor and sat at a small table with a couple of young ladies, striking up a conversation while Walter, once again, danced with Lisbon. The only positive thing that came from watching her dance with Walter, and the several other gentlemen she'd danced with, was seeing in her body language that she wasn't interested in him or anyone else. Sure she flirted a little, hard not to with a flirt like Walter, but she was definitely over him.

The song they were dancing to ended, but Walter kept on swaying back and forth with her and into the next song. Jane made sure to look as intent in his conversation with the young ladies as possible, while keeping a subtle eye on Lisbon. It took her a moment to recognize the song, but when she did, she visibly stiffened.

He made a joke that got both women at his table squealing with laughter while Lisbon looked frantically around the room for him. Jane could see that Walter was asking her if everything was all right, but she ignored him until her eyes landed on Jane. It was only then that Jane looked away from the young women and in Lisbon's direction. She looked horrorstruck. Jane smiled at her, then pretended he was only just hearing the song.

"Our song," he mouthed wordlessly.

The color drained from her face and she pulled away from Walter, but moved so that Walter effectively blocked her from Jane's sight. Jane stood up, not bothering to say good bye to the women at the table, and skirted the dance floor. When he finally got to a place where he could see her again, he watched her smile up at Walter and then make her way for the exit.

Jane followed her and saw her duck into the ladies room, but knew she was just trying to avoid him. He shook his head at her effort and marched in after her.

A woman exited as he went in and he nodded at her politely, then continued as though nothing were wrong. Lisbon stood hunched over one of the sinks, wetting her hand before she dabbed it against the back of her neck. Her eyes were closed so she didn't see him right away. She jumped when she opened her eyes. "Jane!" Her hand flew to her chest and she looked toward the door trying to decide if she could get past him.

He almost dared her to try, but in the end didn't have to because she'd figured it out on her own and was now glaring at him in reply. He smirked.

"This is the women's bathroom!" she snapped.

"That fact didn't escape my attention," he said.

"Well get out!" she pointed to the exit.

"Whither thou goest, I shall go," he said in a singsong voice that made her clench her jaw in fury.

He could see she was about to yell when a toilet flushed. Both their heads shot toward one of the stalls and they watched with very different emotions, as a very attractive woman, probably in her late thirties, Jane surmised, exited the stall. She looked between the two and smiled.

"I'm so sorry," Lisbon started, "he was just leaving."

"No I wasn't," Jane said evenly as he rolled back on his heels.

The woman looked at Jane and brazenly checked him out, before looking back at Lisbon and smiling. She made her way to the sink. "Honey," she addressed Lisbon as she started washing her hands, "if a man this good looking follows you into a restroom, do woman kind a favor and have your way with him in a stall, don't kick him out. How many chances like this do women our age get?"

Lisbon blushed furiously.

"Actually," Jane said through a broad smile, "she has another very eligible bachelor waiting at the party for her as well." Jane ignored the furious look Lisbon was sending in his direction as the woman turned to him.

"Well sweetie," she took a step closer to him, "if she picks the other guy, I'm in room 305." She winked and then sashayed out of the bathroom. When Jane looked back at Lisbon she was looking under the stalls to see if there were any more feet. When she stood tall, content that at very least there were no more eavesdroppers, he could see that she was working hard to control her anger and embarrassment.

"Busy body," she mumbled at the door as she turned off the faucet she'd been using and reached for a paper towel to dry her hands.

Jane smiled anew. "I don't know, I kind of like her."

"Who asked you?" she spat as she threw away her paper towel and crossed her arms. "Now, what do you want?"

Jane could feel himself getting irritated. "I want to know why you've been avoiding me all night." He'd spent the last year replaying every wonderful thing about her and in the process had apparently forgotten how angry she could make him.

Lisbon's face flushed. "I was hoping you would take a hint."

He felt his brow rise and his eyes get big. This was new. She'd chosen brutal honesty. "Teresa?"

The angry expression she'd been wearing quickly vanished and was replaced with calm. She took a step toward him and took a deep breath. "I just don't see the point in pretending anymore. You and I were once really good friends and I will always cherish that. It's been a year, Jane, and I'm sorry, but a dozen postcards and three phone calls doesn't preserve…"

Jane cut her off. "If our friendship were ever real it would." His irritation immediately faded as anger started stirring in his stomach. He saw her jaw clench again and was glad to see that she wasn't as unaffected as she was trying to make herself out to be.

"I'm a different person than I was a year ago," she looked down at his left hand, "and it seems that you are as well." She made eye contact again. "I meant it when I said 'goodbye,' Jane. Please don't make this any more difficult than it has to be." She moved to pass him, but he stopped her with a hand on her arm.

"Change isn't always a bad thing," he said to her and felt her shiver against his hold. He looked at her face then and was surprised to see her frowning and her eyes sparkling with tears.

She pulled her arm roughly from his grasp. "No, it's not," she said sharply.

"What do you expect me to do, Teresa?" He faced her and then hunched down to look her in the eyes.

She gathered herself again. "I expect you to do whatever it is that will make you happy. I've said it a hundred times, Jane. I want you to be happy. Now please, don't follow me anymore."

She left the bathroom and Jane behind.

He was confused. He used to be able to read her so well, but this had been weird. How could she expect him to be happy if she wasn't in his life? It was a ludicrous idea. Everything she'd said to him had been sincere, which also didn't make any sense, because he was positive, now more than ever, that she was still in love with him. So, why then would she order him away?

He left the bathroom moments later when a woman came in and found him staring blankly at the door. She'd yelped, jerking him immediately out of his thoughts. He apologized and quickly ducked out.

When he came out of the restroom, he was just in time to see Walter hand something to Teresa, before she turned from him and made her way to the hotel elevators. Walter looked dumbfounded. It appeared that she'd left another one in her wake.

Jane sauntered up to Walter and stopped at his side, and the two men watched as Lisbon disappeared around a corner. It was then that Walter looked over at Jane.

"Patrick, there you are." He smiled. "You used to know Teresa better than anyone. What spooked her?"

Jane let out a sigh. He didn't see any point in lying to the man, besides he'd always liked Walter. "It was the song."

Walter's eyes went up as he thought back to what song had been playing. "More Than Words?" he asked finally.

Jane nodded. "Yes, and it's been a stressful night for her."

"Stressful? How so?" Walter asked and Jane could see that not only had he not realized she was stressed, but also that he was concerned for her now that he learned she had been.

Jane shoved his hands in his pockets. "Well, she just spent the whole evening trying not to be awkward with a man she was once intimate with, while, at the same time, avoiding the man she loves." Jane looked at Walter in time to see realization cross his face, and then he added, "It's bound to have been a little stressful." Jane reached a hand out to Walter's shoulder and gently patted it before heading to the elevators himself.

A/N: I'm loving this season so far, by the way. It's pretty intense, but so far ina good way.

Anonymous reviews:

Kakes: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for the review!

Ilovetea: Thank you for the lovely compliment and for your review! I hope Post Red will live up to your expectations!

Guest: I was thrilled you noticed the push and pull between them. I feel like that happens in the show a lot, so I try to incorporate it. I'm glad you like Cho in this as well. I love Cho, he's great, and he's fun to write. Thanks for your review!

Guest: Ha! I'm glad you like the Lisbon Cho dynamic. I couldn't help myself, it just seemed to funny to pass. Thank you for your review.