Chapter 27: The Morning After

Kate lay in bed, barely awake and her eyes still closed. Her internal clock told her it was very early morning. Her head and her eye were throbbing. Why? Oh, right, she remembered the incident from the day before. There was something else different here. She slowly opened her eyes and saw that she was not alone in the bed. What the…? In the next moment, she realized it was her husband. She was confused. It was nice to have him in bed beside her, but what was he doing there? Unfortunately, she was not awake enough to dwell on it. She closed her eyes again and went back to sleep.

When she woke again, she was alone in the bed. Had she dreamed that he was there? No, she could smell his unique scent. She had missed it so much over the last months. She knew he had been there. But why? Then she remembered that he had awakened her during the night to check for the concussion. But still…

When she realized that she was naked, she shot up in the bed. They had made love! This was not good. She got out of bed, pulled a robe on and followed the sound of voices to the kitchen.

House was there putting Cheerios on Emily's high chair tray. He looked up when she came in and gave her a small smile. The look on her face was not reassuring. He turned away and poured her a cup of coffee, putting it on the table near her.

"Greg, we need to talk about this."

"Talk about what? We had sex. Simple. Nothing more to say."

"Yes, there is. You can't be thinking that sleeping together ends our problems."

"I'm not thinking about anything. You wanted me, I obliged you. That's it. I need to get ready for work. Okay if I take a shower?"

"Greg, I always want you. I slept with you last night because my mind wasn't clear and all I could think of was my physical needs."

"Thanks."

"I didn't mean it that way. I just don't want you to think that because we slept together last night, everything is fine. It's not."

"Okay. Got it. You finished?"

"Yes." She said sadly.

"Great. I'm going to work. I'll see you later."

Kate shook her head and sat down, not knowing what to do next.

House tried to put it out of his mind, but he kept going back to it. Okay, so they had sex, big deal. Obviously that's all it was. She needed the physical pleasure. For that matter, so did he. They had been separated for several months and he hadn't had any sexual release in that time. He could have. He had gone to the bar with Wilson and there were women who were definitely willing. But he was married. And even if he wasn't living with his wife, his vows meant something to him.

Not to mention, he didn't really want to sleep with anyone but Kate.

He had to do something about this. Last night didn't help anything. It wasn't just a release for him. He loved her. He wanted to be with her. But the only way he could go back to her was if he opened up to her.

He didn't know if he could do that.

Kate stayed home from work. After the events of the day before and especially the events during the night, she felt she needed a sick day. House had taken the baby to day care for her, so she was alone. She wandered around, unable to settle down. She tried watching TV, reading a book, even playing piano, but nothing worked. She kept remembering making love with her husband. More than anything, she wanted him back in her bed, back in her life. Should she let it go? Should she just accept that she would only get a piece of him, that he would always keep himself hidden from her? Or should she hold out for the whole ball of wax?

With these questions circling around in her head, she spent a restless and unhappy day.

House didn't have a case that day. He didn't know if that was good or bad. If there had been a case, it might have focused his mind on something other than Kate. Then again, with his current state of mind, he probably wouldn't have been able to concentrate.

He tried to talk to Wilson, but all the other doctor told him was: "Talk to your wife."

Finally, unable to settle down, he left the hospital. He was going to head to Wilson's apartment, but somehow found himself heading to his house.

Kate was sitting in the rec room looking out the window at the backyard when she heard the door. She glanced at her watch, but it was too early for the nanny to be bringing Emily home. She rose, and just as she reached the doorway, he was there.

His blue eyes were intense as he looked at her. She started to speak, "Greg…"

"Shut up," He said, then reached out and pulled her towards him. Before she could say anything more, he kissed her. He didn't let her talk, he just kept kissing her. Eventually, she gave up trying and enjoyed the kisses. He began to pull her clothes off, she did the same with his. Moments later, they were on the floor together. It was hard and it was fast and it was exactly what each of them needed.

Afterward, they lay back on the floor. Kate spoke first.

"This doesn't solve any of our problems, Greg, it just complicates everything. We…"

"My father." He said, staring at the ceiling.

"What? What are you talking about?"

"My father did things to me when I was a kid. Things that I guess a therapist would call abuse. But beyond the physical, the worse thing he did was to make me believe that I was worthless. Nothing I did ever pleased him. Nothing was ever good enough. If I did well in school, why wasn't I in sports? If I did well in sports, I needed to buckle down and study. He wanted me to go into the military like him. When I didn't, he wrote me off as a loss. College scholarships, medical degrees, nothing mattered.

"After being told all your life that you're not good enough, you start to believe it. But when I met you and when we had Emily, I began to believe that I was worth something. If a woman like you could love me and if we could produce a kid like Em, well, maybe there was hope for me.

"That's why I didn't tell them. I couldn't stand for him to ruin it for me. And I knew he would." He turned to look at her. "I was never ashamed of you. I couldn't possibly be. I was and am ashamed of him. The longer I kept him away from this, then the longer I could live the dream. And I've had way too few dreams in my life."

Her eyes were filled when he stopped talking. She was unable to speak, both because of the emotion filling her and because she wasn't sure what to say to him. But he was looking at her, his blue eyes filled with uncertainty.

She moved over and put her head on his chest, just over his heart. She wound her arms around him. "Thank you for sharing this with me. We can get through anything together as long as we're always there for each other."

He held her to him, closing his eyes in relief.

A/N: Okay, done with this part. It was really the hardest to write. I hope I didn't make his problems seem too simplistic. A little more excitement to come. Thanks again to everyone who reviews.