Chapter 34: Changing

Everyone stayed for some time more, asking Kate questions and eating more of the food. The main question was what had happened to Pearson?

Kate looked somber as she told them, "The bullet didn't kill him, but it did incapacitate him. By the time the police arrived, he bled to death."

"I guess, in the long run, that's better." Cuddy observed.

"No, it's not." House said.

Everyone looked at him.

"Because now I don't get the satisfaction of killing him myself."

Kate just squeezed his hand and said, "You're right. It's better.

Everyone seemed satisfied that he had died in pain.

Finally, around midnight, the last of the guests left. House and Kate were alone again. They picked up the trash and then headed to bed.

After climbing in, House put his arm around Kate and held her close.

"I'm really glad you're not dead."

"Yeah, me too! Alive is definitely better." She chuckled. Then she sighed and snuggled closer to him. "But now I need to think about the rest of this life and what I'm going to do with it."

"What are you talking about?" He was suspicious. He didn't like change and there had been more than enough of it in the past four months.

"I talked with Paul when we were at the station today. He told me I could come back to work whenever I'm ready."

"Well, that's good. Right?" He asked when she didn't say anything.

"Sure. Except that when they thought I was dead, they promoted another officer to detective to replace me. And they hired a young guy as a rookie cop. The budget can't handle another detective on the payroll, so if I go back, that officer gets demoted and the rookie gets fired."

"Geez, how dare you get kidnapped, let everyone think you're dead and disrupt their lives like that." He said, then added. "It wasn't your fault it happened and it's not your fault if they lose their jobs."

"I know. But the cop that got the promotion has been on the force a long time and has wanted that promotion for years. And the rookie is recently married with a kid on the way."

"Oh, well, in that case, you may as well just continue to be dead. Kate, you can't take on other people's problems. That's just the way things go."

"I know that. If that was the only thing, I would just deal with it."

He looked at her. "So what else is there?"

She hesitated, then said, "I'm not sure I want to go back."

"Seriously?"

"I was under the complete control of someone for a long time. I don't think I want to take orders from Paul or anyone again. I'm not ready to be restricted."

"So don't go back. I make enough money, you don't need to work."

She sighed. "Greg, the only thing I've ever wanted to be in my life was a cop. And I'm not the housewife type. What would I do if I wasn't a cop?"

"Who says you have to figure it out right now? Take your time. Adjust to being free. Get to know your daughter again. Make love to your husband as much as you can. That should be a definite goal for you."

She smiled. "We also have a new member of our family to welcome."

"Yeah, I almost forgot about that."

"Greg, I know you're uneasy about this. But Monica is terrific. I know you'll love her once you get to know her. And it is going to be hard for her to adjust to everything, especially in the beginning. It's not a bad idea for me to hang around and help her. But what else would I do?"

"Anything you want. You mentioned once that you wished you'd gotten your Bachelor's degree."

"Yeah, I only got an Associated degree from Philadelphia's Community College. It was the minimum I needed to get into the police academy."

"So go back to school and get your B.A."

She laughed. "I'm kinda old to go to college."

"Well, you are a bit decrepit, but not as bad as some. There was a woman last spring just got her degree and she was 70 years old. You've got more than thirty years to go to beat that."

She thought for a few moments. "I guess you're right that I don't have to decide right now. Paul said I could come back when I was ready. Maybe if I take a little time, I would be ready to go back. Or maybe I'll be ready to do something else."

Kate found adjusting to her life again a little daunting for many reasons.

She had always been very healthy, with a slim, strong, toned body. She had worked out daily, and even after the baby was born, had fairly quickly returned to her normal shape.

Now she was unhealthily thin from the lack of food and pale and weak from the lack of sunlight.

She had been surprised to find all her clothes still in their closet. House sheepishly admitted that he had refused to get rid of them.

"One day I came home early to find Wilson and Joanne here packing them up. They thought they'd get them out while I wasn't here and I'd accept it. I threw a fit and made them put everything back where it was. They didn't try it again."

She was touched. But her clothes didn't fit her. She ended up wearing some sweatpants with drawstring waists that she could tighten up and old t-shirts that had shrunk from too many washings.

She had truly missed the fresh air and sunlight. So now she wanted to spend as much time outside as she could. However, November in New Jersey wasn't warm and sunny. There were some pleasant days, but more that were cold and damp. She refused to wear a heavy coat, she refused any kind of restrictions. So House often found her outside in 40 degree weather with just a t-shirt and sweat pants on. She ended up with a constant runny nose and sore throat and with her weakened condition, he was afraid she'd end up with pneumonia. He monitored her continually and chided her every time he found her outside. But he couldn't be home with her 24 hours a day.

Physically, she was still weak. Although she had all the food she wanted now, her stomach wasn't used to the extra food, so after some bouts of vomiting and diarrhea, House had advised her to introduce new foods slowly, starting with softer and blander foods.

Kate was also frustrated by her physical weakness. She'd prided herself on always being healthy and strong. She tried to do her normal workout, but was winded after a few minutes. She couldn't eat enough of the healthy food she needed to gain more strength because everything upset her stomach. And she felt constricted if she was indoors more than a few hours.

House was worried about her. "I'm taking you into the hospital tomorrow for tests."

"No, Greg, I don't want to go to the hospital."

"Tough. You need to get completely checked out." He stared at her with determination, ready for the fight he knew she would give him."

She looked at him, then to his horror, she started crying. "I really don't want to go, Greg. Please don't make me, please?"

House pulled her into his arms and held her close. "Kate, honey, it's okay. You don't have to do anything. I just want to be sure that there's nothing wrong with you other than being weak from what happened."

"Are you going to leave me in the hospital?"

"You think this is just a trick to get rid of you? Sorry, but if I wanted to do that, I would have been partying when you were dead."

"I won't have to stay there?"

"Not unless there's something seriously wrong with you. And if that's the case, I'll be staying with you."

Kate seemed to calm down with those words. "Okay, then, I guess I can go."

House was glad that she stopped crying and agreed to go to the hospital, but he missed the wife he knew that would have fought him tooth and nail to get her own way.

The tests showed nothing wrong other than the weakness he knew about. But Cameron, who had examined her, as well as Wilson and Cuddy who had been talking with her, advised him to have her see a therapist to deal with the things that happened to her.

House didn't like therapists much, but realized they were probably right. However, when he brought the subject up to Kate, she burst into tears again and begged him not to make her do it.

So when he saw her finally get angry, not weepy about something, he knew that would be the thing that would save her. And that thing was Monica.