So here's a new chapter since I'm still figuring out how to proceed with my other story.
This chapter turned out to be different than expected, but I'm content with it's outcome.
Also: I love quotes and love that I finally get the chance to use them again and I put much thoughts into picking them!
Now enjoy reading and please review (:
"Sometimes I'm so deeply buried under self-reproaches that I long for a word of comfort to help me dig myself out again." ― Anne Frank
The next morning Tony awoke early from the buzzing phone on the coffee table next to him.
A glance on the clock told him it was only 6:30 and the caller ID told him Gibbs was calling.
"Yeah boss?" Tony mumbled, desperately trying to wake himself up a little more.
"DiNozzo. How's Ziva doing?" Gibbs replied in a typical manner.
"She's sleeping right now. The night was mostly quiet but she seemed to have a few flashbacks yesterday and didn't take it so well." He let out a deep sigh and ran his hands through his sleep ruffled hair.
"Is she talking?" Tony swallowed before replying.
"Not really. I'm afraid she will shut us out again." Ziva's behavior really concerned him and he wondered where it would lead them.
"Stay with her and make sure she talks about it." And before Tony got to reply Gibbs had already ended the call and Tony didn't even wonder about this anymore. It was Gibbs after all.
He slowly made his way to the kitchen to make himself some coffee when he heard the sound of the shower being turned on in the bathroom. Ziva must be awake as well and he decided to make her a cup of tea next to his coffee.
Half an hour later he was sipping on his last bit of coffee when he started to wonder why she was still under the shower. Her tea was already getting cold and when the worry kicked in as well he slowly made his way to the bathroom to check on her.
He called her name several times, always waiting for a reply that never came.
"Zi? I'm coming in now, ok?" And with that he slowly started to open the door to see what was going on inside.
The view he was greeted with was heartbreaking.
Ziva sat in the corner of the shower, her knees drawn up and her face buried in them as the water was cascading down her bruised and fragile body.
Tony quickly grabbed a fresh towel and walked towards her to turn off the water and drape the towel around her shaking body.
He then nimbly lifted her out of the shower and cradled her into his lap not caring that his clothes would be soaking wet afterwards.
"Hey, what happened Zi? Had another flashback?" He wondered while continuously stroking her back to calm her down and warm her a little.
She only vehemently shook her head and Tony wondered what else it could be.
Pushing her wouldn't help the situation but he still wished she would talk to him.
After a few more minutes she finally relaxed into his chest and started talking, even though her voice came out in barely above a whisper.
"What is wrong with me?" Her voice cracked ever so slightly and it killed him to see her like that.
"Nothing is wrong with you Ziva. Don't even think like that. You just have been strong for a long time. Probably too long and you need to give yourself the time to fully heal."
Some tears were trickling down her still wet cheeks as she tried to process his words.
"But" Ziva started to protest but Tony immediately interrupted her.
"There's not 'but' Ziva. I might not fully understand what is going on inside of you, but I'm sure you have been burying it for too long." Ziva took a shaky breath before looking deep into his eyes.
"There's so much you don't know Tony." She whispered and it came out so honest that it almost shocked him that she would admit something like that.
"Then tell me." He pleaded whispering, his eyes now reflecting her pain.
"Not yet, please." Her voice mirrored his and she shut her eyes closed for a brief moment to take a deep breath.
Tony noticed that she had started shivering and gently grabbed for another towel to dry her hair, careful to not startle her again.
"Do you think you can get up and dress yourself? If you stay like this for longer you may get sick." He sounded worried even though he didn't really mind their current position.
She simply nodded and hugged him briefly before getting up and wrapping the towel closer around her body.
"Alright, since the tea I made you is most likely cold by now I will make you a new one until you're finished in here." And with that he was gone, her promise still lingering in the air.
She would eventually talk to him. Just not yet.