Chapter 2 – Everything Else
"I cannot believe you have your own limo, Rachel! This is insane!" Tina gushes as her glamorous friend hops out of the car to greet her at the airport.
"Isn't it amazing? Tina, this is my driver, Dimitri. Now hand him your bag and give me a hug!"
Rachel's embrace is so warm and familiar that Tina feels like she's back in her own body for the first time in ages. They pull back so that they're still hugging but can look at each other's faces. Although Rachel is usually wrapped up in her own drama, she is an astute enough friend to sense that something is off.
"How have you been, Tina?" The words are so sincere that Tina has to fight every urge in her body that wants to break down in tears and let out all the pain she's been dealing with since the school year began. She doesn't want to ruin the mood of what's supposed to be a great week. Besides, her problems with a cruel roommate and difficult classes would seem so petty to someone who has been successfully juggling a starring role on Broadway, the most intensive performing arts school in the country, and a part time waitressing job.
"I'm good, really good. I'm just so excited to be back in New York! I haven't been here since our first nationals. I can't wait to see the city and see what you guys all have been up to," Tina says as she slides into the backseat of the car next to Rachel.
"Well good, because we have a very full week planned for you!" Tina's eyes widen as Rachel pulls out a color coded schedule of events. "This took a lot of logistical planning because we each want a chance to show you what we've been up to. It's going to be like Bring Your Tina to Work Week! Of course, we had to start off on a high note, so today you're coming with me to rehearsal. Tomorrow's Sunday so we'll all just hang out together. Monday you're going to spend the day at NYADA – a dance class with Blaine, acting with Kurt, and singing with me. Mercedes is taking you to some promotional events for her record on Tuesday. Artie has you on Wednesday. I know he's taking you to classes but he also said something about a role for you in his friend's film project. You're with Sam on Thursday, but I honestly don't know what that's going to entail. He doesn't have any modeling gigs lined up this week so usually he's either on the couch or working out. You can probably convince him to do some sightseeing if you want. And we have a couple of big surprises for you for Friday and next Saturday."
Tina chuckles. This is going to be exactly what she needs: quality time with each of her closest friends, immersed in the arts. Her only fear is that by the end of the week, she won't be able to muster the strength to set foot on her flight back to Brown.
Tina sits quietly in the theater, an audience of one for Rachel's awe-inspiring rehearsal. As she listens to Rachel belt out "Don't Rain on My Parade" for the umpteenth time, she smiles fondly. The very first time she heard it doesn't seem so long ago anymore. It had been that moment when she fully understood the magnitude of Rachel's talent. Even though she would get frustrated at times for never having her chance in the spotlight, she always recognized that she was in the presence of greatness. She eventually came to view Rachel as more of an inspiration and a mentor than her competition. Of course, it was easier to view her that way after she graduated and Tina finally had her chance to be front and center during competitions. So what if they had lost Sectionals – on a technicality – following her solo of Gangnam Style? And who cared if they came in second at Nationals while she led two of the songs with Blaine and the other seniors? It was still an accomplishment to be proud of, and the rush she had felt as Blaine plucked her from the background and twirled her around the stage during "More Than a Feeling" was unlike anything else she had ever experienced.
As Rachel towels herself off following one of the more strenuous dance numbers, she beckons Tina to the stage. Tina is flustered for a moment, silently pointing at herself. "Me?" she mouths. Rachel rolls her eyes and gestures melodramatically. Tina makes her way to the stage as a very handsome man extends his arm towards her.
"Tina, I'd like you to meet Paolo San Pablo. He's my Nicky."
"I- I- I-," Tina stutters, far more convincingly than she ever did in her years of faking it.
"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," Paolo says in an extremely charming accent as he takes her hand in a masculine yet gentle manner.
"Yes, er, thank you. I'm a very big fan. You two have been amazing today. You have so much chemistry." Tina is pleased that she managed to string together a coherent sentence in front of this man, whose picture can likely be found in the dictionary under debonair.
"Rachel tells me that you're a singer as well," Rupert phrases it almost like a question, or maybe an invitation.
Tina hadn't thought of herself as a singer. At least not lately. Until her Miss Saigon audition last month, she hadn't performed in front of anyone since Nationals. Her lack of practice showed; she had fidgeted with her hands the whole time and went flat on the biggest note of the song. It was no wonder she hadn't gotten the part, but she still couldn't help being bitter that she wasn't cast even in the ensemble of one of the few musicals that specifically calls for Asian cast members.
"I… Yeah, we were in glee club together in high school. I've spent a lot of time staring at the back of Rachel's head." Tina nearly faints at the fact that Paolo not only got her joke, but is laughing.
"Well, she is truly a unique talent. That's why Rupert and I felt comfortable entrusting the leading role to a 19-year-old amateur. So you may have had to sing back up for her in high school, but make no mistake. If Rachel Berry tells me you're a singer, you're a singer." He cracks a crinkly-eyed smile and heads off stage.
"So, what do you think?" Rachel asks eagerly.
"He's gorgeous, Rachel. Are you and him, like…" Tina trails off, unsure of where Rachel's heart is after losing Finn less than a year ago.
"What? No! I meant what do you think of ME. How was I?"
Tina laughs. "Oh, like you don't know. Rachel, you were born to play this part. And I'm coming back for your opening night. You light up that stage during rehearsals for no one, so I can't wait to see what it's like in front of a packed theater."
Despite being a little sweaty, Rachel hugs Tina tightly. "Ok, I'm gonna go change and then we're meeting up with everyone for dinner. Do me a favor and call Dimitri. Tell him to bring the car around in fifteen minutes." Rachel tosses her phone to Tina and walks off to her dressing room.
Tina is standing alone on the stage of a Broadway theater. This wasn't necessarily her dream, or at least not as specifically as it was Rachel's. But it was something she used to think about. Something she hasn't let herself think about lately. Why is that, she wonders. Is she afraid that it's not a practical life choice, that it's too hard, that there's too much competition? Is she afraid of failure?
She sits down at the piano and guides her fingers mindlessly over a few keys. The melody reminds her of a song from a musical her parents took her to see in Chicago one weekend during sophomore year. She remembers how fitting the song seemed to her back then, when she was in high school and thought that getting out of Lima was the answer to all of life's problems. Now it just seems naïve. She begins to play and finally allows herself to find the voice she'd been keeping silent.
Mozart was crazy.
Flat fucking crazy.
Batshit, I hear.
But his music's not crazy,
It's balanced, it's nimble,
It's crystalline clear.
There's harmony, logic
You listen to these,
You don't hear his doubts
Or his debts or disease.
You scan through the score
And put fingers on keys
And you play...
And everything else goes away.
Everything else goes away.
And you play 'til it's perfect,
You play 'til you ache,
You play 'til the strings
Or you fingernails break.
So you'll rock that recital
And get into Yale,
So you won't feel so sick
And you won't look so pale,
'Cause you've got your full ride
And your early admit
So you're done with this school
And with all of this shit,
And you graduate early,
You're gone as of May
And there's nothing your
Paranoid parents can say...
And you know that it's just
A sonata away...
And you play...
And you play...
And everything else goes away.
Everything else goes away.
Everything else goes away.
And everything else goes away.
Everything else goes away.
Everything else goes away.
As she finishes the song, Tina feels the all-too-familiar heat of tears on her cheeks. She sits silently for a moment before realizing that Rachel is standing in the wings, watching her. She comes forward and sits on the piano bench next to Tina.
"Tina, that was really lovely," she says quietly, "but are you sure everything is ok? Artie and Blaine have been saying for a while now that you seem like you're holding something back and after hearing that, I have to agree."
"I'm fine. I'm sorry if that was inappropriate of me to do in your theater. Kurt told me about the time you two snuck onto the Wicked stage and sang and I just couldn't pass up this chance. I've always liked that song from Next to Normal; I guess I just got a little wrapped up in my performance." Tina fakes a laugh as she wipes away her tears.
Rachel doesn't look convinced, but she lets it pass. "Alright, then let's get out of here. I'm starving and everyone is dying to see you!"
Tina can't wait to see them either. She stands up and follows Rachel out of the theater, sneaking one last glance back at the piano on the stage and smiling at the return of that familiar warmth in her throat that she only feels when she sings.