Chapter 3 – Sleeping with a Friend
The next few days are a whirlwind. After a weekend complete with a sushi dinner on Saturday night followed by drinks and dancing at the loft, mani-pedis with Rachel and Mercedes on Sunday, and a group outing to see the musical version of "Once," Tina follows the well-coordinated schedule her friends set out for her for the week.
On Monday at NYADA classes, she waltzes with Blaine, improvises a strangely convincing love scene with Kurt, and performs an epic duet of "Cosmic Love" by Florence and the Machine with Rachel. Their classmates and teachers are surprisingly respectful and welcoming to an outsider despite their cut-throat reputation. Tina wonders why she's so much less nervous in front of these people who have devoted their lives to the arts than she was in front of a few people at her Miss Saigon audition.
The next day, she tags along with Mercedes to an album signing at a Target in New Jersey and a meeting with her label. She's amazed by how her once sassy diva of a friend has evolved into a savvy business woman who knows how to charm fans and get what she wants from her management. That night, the group gets together for dinner at Kurt and Blaine's apartment and everyone talks about their day. The others listen supportively and give thoughtful advice. Looking around the table, the moment feels surreal. Only a couple of years ago, it seemed like everyone was always at each other's throats over some sort of petty drama.
After spending the morning doodling on a piece of paper through Artie's extremely boring and technical camera class on Wednesday, Tina perks up when he tells her she gets to play a vampire in his friend Lucy's student film that afternoon. As she pops in her fake teeth, she wonders if Figgins still actually thinks she's a vampire. She goes all out in her scene in which she gets to sink her fangs into Artie's neck just seconds before he stakes her through the heart. She nails her dramatic death in only one take, and Lucy thanks her effusively for her great performance.
Tina wakes up on Thursday morning to the smell of something burning. She stumbles out of the bed she's been sharing with Mercedes to find Sam in the living room, seducing the couch with his signature body roll. He finally notices her staring at him, her mouth agape, and yanks the earbuds out of his ears.
"Oh, hey! Good morning! Just, uh, trying to keep myself limber," Sam says, clearly trying not to act embarrassed despite being caught in his boxer briefs humping the furniture. He conspicuously grabs a pillow and holds it over himself.
"That's great, Sam, but you do know the whole world is going to see you in your underwear pretty soon, right?" she asks, pointing at his modesty pillow.
Sam sets it down gingerly. "Oh yeah." He turns his attention towards the kitchen. "OH CRAP."
They both run towards the billowing smoke coming from the oven. Sam grabs a potholder and yanks out a pan containing something that resembles a giant lump of coal. Tina cracks open the window and they both fan the smoke towards it.
"I'm so sorry, Tina. I wanted to treat you to my world famous spinach quiche, but I guess I got distracted and lost track of time."
Tina laughs. "I appreciate the effort, but I'm totally fine with, like, frozen waffles."
Sam smirks as he dumps the burnt quiche into the trash and places the pan in the sink. "Eggos it is! So what do you want to do today? We can go to the Statue of Liberty, a museum, Times Square, whatever you want. I haven't really done much of the touristy stuff since I moved here."
Tina pulls two plates from the cabinet and begins setting the table. "To be completely honest, Sam, I'd be totally fine with just relaxing a bit today. I've had a great time visiting everyone's school and work so far, but I'm exhausted! Rachel practically scheduled my bathroom breaks for me. I'm not used to being on the go all the time like this."
Sam sets the waffles in the toaster and pulls up a chair next to Tina. "What do you mean you're not used to it? You must be pretty busy with school and the musical and that sorority and the new boyfriend." Sam gives his friend a knowing nudge with his elbow and exaggerated wink at the last part.
Tina keeps her gaze down and stays silent for a moment. When she finally lifts her eyes towards Sam, there's a hint of tears forming in the corners. "You know, I've always considered Blaine and Artie my closest friends, but they're not always the easiest to talk to. Artie can be insensitive and Blaine sugar coats things. But you've always been really straightforward and honest with me. So can I be honest with you?"
The toaster dings and Sam pops up to plate the waffles in one graceful motion. He sets the plates down and looks at Tina with anticipation. "Of course you can be honest with me. Are you finally gonna admit you're the one who stole my lucky blueberry chapstick last year? I know it was you; it was a limited edition and no one's lips can possibly taste that good without it."
"Ummm… no." Tina exhales deeply. "Sam, I made it all up. I don't have any friends at Brown, let alone a boyfriend. I don't do anything but study, and I'm still just barely passing some of my classes. I didn't want you guys to think I'm a loser, so I started telling little lies, which turned into bigger lies, which turned into faking my whole life." Tina bursts into sobs unlike any that Sam has seen from her in the many, many times he's seen her cry before. He rushes to her side and kneels next to her chair, wrapping his arms around her.
"Hey, hey, hey. It's ok, Tina. First of all, you are not a loser. None of us would think that, no matter what. Second of all, it takes time to adjust to a new environment. It may seem like it's been easy for us here, but I promise you that we've all struggled. It's just been a little easier because we could lean on each other. You're doing this on your own, and that's gotta be hard. Look at it this way: was the beginning of your freshman year of high school easy?"
Tina looks up at him with wet eyes. "No."
"But how did it turn out?"
"It turned into the best time of my life. I met all my best friends and sang and danced and fell in love and got straight A's without ever studying. Now I have nothing left but my memories of it all. In the movies, it's always the bullies and jocks who peak in high school and then become losers later in life while the nerds triumph, but I'm a nerd who peaked in high school!"
"Ugh, no, enough of the pity party. An Ivy League school is supposed to be hard. Are you learning a lot?"
"A ton, actually."
"Ok, well then you're getting the education you're there for. Keep working hard, but also make time for things that make you happy. Give your brain some time to turn off occasionally and relax, you know?"
"That's actually really good advice, Sam. Thanks." Tina smiles meekly.
"Yeah, ok, and about this not having friends thing. You didn't have a ton of friends four years ago, did you? But you found your people in glee club, and you'll find your people at Brown, too. You just gotta keep looking. I mean, you cry a lot and you can be kind of a nag sometimes, but you're also like super thoughtful and really fun to hang out with. I promise you there are people outside of Lima, Ohio who will see that and appreciate it."
Tina blushes.
"What else is wrong? Oh, right, so you didn't get cast in some dumb play. Big deal, try out for something else!"
"It's not just some dumb play. There aren't a lot of roles for Asian women, Sam. I can't even make a school production of my dream role and Rachel lands her dream role on Broadway in five minutes."
"Are you happy for Rachel?"
"Of course I am. I'm just also seething with jealousy."
"Fair enough, but her victory is her victory. You'll have yours someday too if you keep working for it. And last but not least," Sam jumps to his feet and yanks Tina to hers by the elbow, "I need to show you something."
Sam drags Tina into the bathroom and points her towards the mirror above the sink, standing behind her with his hands on her shoulders. "You're meeting a lot of new people, including guys, and first impressions matter. Tell me what you see."
Tina slumps her shoulders and rolls her eyes. "I don't know, an emotional basket case with bags under her eyes?"
Sam mimics the sound of a game show buzzer. "Wrong! If guys aren't lining up at your door, it's not because of how you look, it's how you're carrying yourself. If you saw yourself how other people see you, you'd be a lot more confident. So here's what I see: insanely shiny hair that would be amazing to run my fingers through. Perfect skin that would be really soft and smooth to touch. A killer smile that makes me want to be extra hilarious just to bring it out. But I can't see any of that if you're pouting and walking around with your head buried in a book."
Tina turns to face him and bites her lip. No one has complimented her appearance since Mike – aside from Sam himself when he was briefly fascinated with her boobs last year. She had forgotten what it felt like. "You're a really good guy, Sam. I don't know if everything is going to magically get easier as soon as I get back to school, but when I'm having a hard time, I'm going to remember everything you've said. You're a lot smarter than you get credit for." She wraps her arms around him and buries her head in his chest. He smells faintly of sweat, but it's inviting and warm. He strokes her hair, and it feels as though they stand like that for hours.
When they finally pull away, there's a new feeling in the air – a tension that never existed between them before. Tina clears her throat and tries to defuse it. "So, what should we do today?"
Sam smirks and motions towards the couch that doubles as his bed.
Tina and Sam barely get up from the couch the entire day. After a marathon video game session (in which Tina whoops Sam's butt, just like she always did in high school), they take a popcorn break and amuse themselves trying to throw it into each other's mouths. When a piece hits him in the eye, he suddenly gets serious and stomps off towards the kitchen.
"Sam, are you ok? I'm sorry about that – I didn't mean to –"
"I'm fine. I just had one of those… what are they called? Epilepsies? Epidurals?" He leans over the sink and splashes water in his eye.
"Epiphanies?"
"Yeah, epiphanies. Like, what if that piece of popcorn got lodged in my eyeball, and I could never model again? I mean, maybe I could get, like, an eyepatch campaign or Long John Silver's or something. But really, I'm not gonna look like this forever. And then what?"
"Well, you're good at a lot of things besides just looking really good, Sam."
"Sure, I'm hilarious and a kick-ass friend, but most people don't get paid for that stuff. All of our friends are gonna be famous millionaires by the time they're thirty, and I'm not even gonna have a four-oh-wunk."
Tina bites her lip to try to stop from laughing at him while he's genuinely panicking about his future, but can't quite help letting a giggle burst from her lips.
"Oh great, now you're laughing at me? After I spent all morning giving you a great pep talk? Thanks a lot."
"Sam I'm so, so sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just that it's called a four-oh-one-kay. And honestly, I think it's good that you're thinking about this now. You have plenty of good years of modeling left, but it's important that you have a plan in mind for when you're a little bit older. You could maybe do some stand up at an open mic night or take some comedy classes. Or what about art? Don't get mad, but Blaine showed me your macaroni portrait of Kurt, and it was amazing! You're really creative."
Sam puts a pillow over his face and groans. "Remind me to kill him later."
"Ok, no. Nope. Get up. You wouldn't let me have a pity party earlier and I'm not letting you either." Tina yanks him up by the wrist and grabs her cell phone. "Everyone else has given me a crash course in their professional lives so far this week, and now it's your turn. Come on, teach me about modeling."
Sam's eyes light up. "Really? Ok, I've been working on this new pose where I…" He eyes her up and down skeptically. "Actually, that might be a little too advanced for you."
Tina scowls at him.
"Ok, how about modeling 101. Selfies! I've seen your twitpics, and they're not really doing you any favors – no offense." Sam grabs the hand that Tina is holding her cell phone in and extends their arms out above their heads. He stands behind her and demonstrates a perfect selfie pout. She mimics him, and he nods approvingly. He snaps the shot of them, then takes the phone from her to look at it. "Look at that! We look awesome! You need to make this your new profile pic."
Tina looks at the picture and has to agree – for once, she really likes the way she looks. And secretly, she loves the way she looks next to him.
Tina's cheeks hurt and her throat feels hoarse from laughing so much. She scans the faces around the table and tries to take a mental picture of this moment. She hasn't been this purely and genuinely happy in so long. These people are her family, her home. They know almost everything about her, and she knows them just as well.
"Next up, we have Sam Evans performing a song by Neon Trees. Come on up, Sam," the host calls from the stage at Callback's. Sam makes his way to the stage as Blaine lets out whoops of encouragement.
"Thanks, Pascal. Hi, everyone, my name is Sam. I know karaoke night here is sort of a NYADA student tradition, but my NYADA friends and I are welcoming a very special guest this week and I've always wanted to sing a duet with her. So if you don't mind, I'd like to call Tina Cohen-Chang up to the stage to join me."
Rachel and Mercedes practically lift Tina from her seat and push her towards the stage while the boys clap enthusiastically. Tina shuffles up next to Sam and whispers incredulously, "I don't even know what song you requested! What are you thinking?"
"Just trust me on this. I'll start it off, and you can join in when you're ready. I promise you know it." He winks at her and begins.
All my friends, they're different people
Anxious like the ocean in a storm
When we go out, yeah, we're electric
Coursing through our bodies 'til we're one
And why mess up a good thing, baby?
It's a risk to even fall in love
Sam locks eyes with Tina and flashes his signature flirty smile. She knows the song and knows she's supposed to join in, but suddenly her palms are sweating and her heart is racing and all she can do is stare at Sam.
So, when you give that look to me
I better look back carefully
'Cause this is trouble, yeah this is troubleI said ooh, ooh
You got me in the mood, mood
I'm scared
But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end
I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger
Sleeping with a friend, sleeping with a friend
Sam widens his eyes slightly, giving Tina the signal to take over. She begins hesitantly but quickly finds her groove.
All my friends, stay up past midnight
Looking for the thing to fill the void
I don't go out much like I used to
Something 'bout the strangers and the noiseAnd why leave when I got you, baby?
It's a risk but babe, I need the thrill
Tina grins at Sam and begins to bounce along to the song.
I never said you'd be easy
But if it was all up to me
I'd be no trouble, hey, we're in trouble
In what feels like a shared delusion, Sam and Tina forget their surroundings and begin grinding as if they're in the middle of a crowded dance floor. They sing the chorus together, and the words seem to take on a new urgency.
I said ooh, ooh
You got me in the mood, mood
I'm scared
But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end
I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger
Sleeping with a friend, sleeping with a friend
Tina remembers her surroundings and blushes, but still doesn't take her eyes off Sam. He sings the bridge, eyes locked on hers.
We are both young, hot-blooded people
We don't wanna die alone
Two become one, it could be lethal
Sleeping with a friend
As they inch towards one another, Blaine, Artie and Kurt pound on the table and chant the next lines.
All my friends
All my friends
All my friends
All my friends
Sam runs to the opposite end of the stage, and spins around to let out the next note before Tina joins back in for the chorus and they move towards one another again and perform New Directions' signature arms-around-each-other's-waist twirl.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
I said ooh, ooh
You got me in the mood, mood
I'm scared
But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end
I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger
Sleeping with a friend(All my friends) Sleeping with a friend
(All my friends)
If my heart's gonna break before the night will end
I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger
Sleeping with a friend
"You guys, that was ADORABLE!" Rachel squeals and claps as Tina and Sam return to their seats.
"Yeah, that was a really convincing performance," Blaine says suspiciously. "What made you choose that song, exactly, Sam?"
"Oh, I was listening to it this morning while I was doing my morning stretches and I've just had it in my head all day."
Tina's heart sinks. What if that's the truth, and the mind-blowing chemistry she just felt with him really was a performance? She notices that Sam seems to be purposely averting his eyes from her, and she curses her own stupidity. Of course he's not interest in her that way; he'd told her that before and she was a fool to believe all the nice things he said earlier in the day to cheer her up.
"Alright guys, this has been fun, but I need to get my dance on," Mercedes whines. "Can we PLEASE go to the club now?"
Everyone nods in agreement and gets up to put on their coats. Mercedes hooks her arm through Rachel's and leads the pack. Artie wheels closely behind them, and Kurt and Blaine follow with their hands in each other's back pockets. Sam still won't look at Tina, and he begins to head towards the door. She follows behind him, feeling more rejected and alone than anyone at Brown ever made her feel.
Suddenly, she notices. Sam is still facing forward in front of her, but his hand is extended backwards, waiting for her to take hold. She pauses for a moment before grabbing it. He squeezes her fingers and peers quickly over his shoulder at her. He smiles, then places a finger in front of his mouth: "Shh."
"Remind me why we never did that before? And why we didn't spend all of last year doing that, over and over?" Tina traces patterns across Sam's bare chest as they lay tangled up in sheets and each other.
Sam grunts in agreement over the missed opportunity. "We were pretty much never single at the same time. Actually, I guess I was pretty much never single, period." He twists his mouth in pride but tries to pass it off as embarrassment.
"Yeah, no kidding. I have to admit, I was always a little insulted that someone who was completely head over heels for girls as different as Quinn, Santana, Mercedes, Brittany, and Penny was always saying that he didn't find me attractive. It doesn't really seem like you have a type that I don't fit into, unless it's girls that require you to jump through hoops to get them."
Sam pulls Tina's chin gently so that she's facing him. "I never meant that you weren't attractive. I meant that I wasn't attracted to you. For the first two years I knew you, you were dating a really good friend of mine, so I had to turn off the part of my brain that could look at you that way. You were more like a sister to me. I always thought you were beautiful, I just wasn't allowed to let myself picture you naked and stuff."
Tina giggles. "When you put it that way, I guess I'm kind of relieved you never hit on me."
Sam looks out the window. "Just so you know, all the stuff I said earlier? I wasn't trying to get you in bed or anything. I thought you needed to hear it, and I meant it."
Tina props herself up on her elbows. "I know, Sam. You were just being a good friend, and I guess I got caught up in feeling connected to someone again. It's nice to be around people who know you, you know?"
"So, is that what we are? Friends?"
"I mean, I think so. If we never dated when we lived in the same town, why would we date when we don't?"
"Maybe because we didn't know how good it would be between us?"
"But maybe it was so good because we're friends. I just felt really at ease with you, you know. I already know that you don't think I'm perfect, so I don't have to pretend to be."
"That's true. I was really experiencing the whole thing with my body instead of being caught up in my head, worrying about impressing you and stuff."
"Gee, thanks," Tina scoffs.
"Oh come on, you know what I mean. You pretty much said it first."
"I know. Ok, I just have two questions. Are we gonna do it again while I'm in town?"
"Definitely. That was easy. What's the other question?"
"Are we gonna tell Blaine?"
.