It was an unseasonably sunny afternoon. Alice had disappeared with Jasper and Rose was locked away in her bedroom working as per usual. There were some days that I felt bad about Rose's workload. She worked twice as hard as Al and I but was paid less and although she loved the job and wouldn't change it for anything I knew that had to smart just a little.

I half heartedly offered her my assistance, which she refused, as I knew she would, before finding the sunniest spot in the living room and laying down in it, basking in the rare heat of the Seattle spring. I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew I was being nudged in the side by a rogue foot.

"What the fuck Rose?" I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. The sun had gone down, taking my warm spot with it.

"Oh sorry did I wake you up?" her stockinged toe dug into my flesh again, "I didn't expect to find anybody asleep on the living room carpet because that's not a place where normal people sleep."

I yawned, "I never promised you normal."

"Anyways," she popped the tab on a soda, taking a long sip before she continued, "I just forwarded you an email. Thought you might be interested."

I'd known Rose long enough to recognise when she was playing with me. Whatever the email said was important enough that I'd want to check it asap and my dearest darling friend with her flair for the dramatic wasn't about to give away the little secret that was burning a hole in her pocket. Instead she handed me my iPad, "just in case," before she disappeared back to her bedroom.

To: Bella Swan
From: Rosalie L. Hale

FWD: Re: KSXB The Morning After

Think about it. Rx

Begin forwarded message:
From: EMasenCullen
To: Rosalie L. Hale
Subject: Re: KSXB The Morning After

Thanks for getting in touch. While I'm not rejecting the idea out of hand and have very much enjoyed my conversations with Bella I'm not convinced that setting us up on a date is a good idea under the circumstances.

Of course if she feels differently and would like to discuss please don't hesitate to get in touch. You have my number.

Edward Masen-Cullen.

From: Rosalie L. Hale
To: EMasenCullen
Subject: KSXB The Morning After

Dear Edward, thanks for allowing me to have your details. Please be assured that, as discussed, I won't compromise your anonymity.

We've had an incredible reaction to your phone calls and I wonder if you'd be interested in taking on a more regular slot with the show? You would of course be generously recompensed for your time.

I know this sounds very strange but I'm just going to put it out there. What I'd really love to do is set you up with Bella, blind date style, to test the listeners' theories about the two of you - they appear to think you'd be perfect together!

Please let me know your thoughts.

Many thanks again for being a part of the show.

Rosalie L. Hale
Senior Producer
The Morning After on KSXB Seattle

"ROSE!" I hollered, flinging her door open and barging in without invitation. I'd never been so furious. How could my supposed best friend just disregard my feelings? She knew how mad Alice had been making me with her meddling and now this?

She stood up, pushing her desk chair back and raising her palms to me, "just hear me out Bella…"

"There's nothing you can say that will make this okay Rose!"

"I know you're mad right now but go read the email again. He didn't say no."

I sighed and fixed her with the stink eye. I had to admit that I did get a little flush of excitement as I read his message - she was right he wasn't saying no. I mean, he wasn't saying yes either but he wasn't running away screaming.

"Bella," she gingerly took one of my hands, "if you're absolutely against it then I'll call him to apologise and we'll put a line under the whole thing. But I can't do anything until the morning now so will you just think about it until then? Please?"

"Fine," I huffed, turning to leave.

"Would you be so anti-Rochester if the circumstances were different? I mean, if I hadn't suggested it and you weren't so angry at Al?"

I was halfway down the hall before I replied, "I don't think you should call him Rochester now that he has a real name. We're not children."

To: EMasenCullen
From: Bella Swan
Subject: My Producer Is Crazy

Edward (if indeed that is your real name),

I wanted to apologise on behalf of Rose, she told me how she totally put you on the spot and tried to double your dating misfortune by forcing you to date me. She's insane and so is Alice. Really, there's very little hope for me at this point.

Anyway, sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Not that it was my fault. Sorry anyway.

I hope your next date is completely free of dramatic proposals and teacup-sized animals.

Best wishes,

Bella Swan
The Morning After on KSXB Seattle

To: Bella Swan
From: Edward Masen-Cullen
Subject: Dating Disasters

Hello Bella, it's good to hear from you.

Please don't apologise on behalf of anybody, your co-workers' enthusiastic approach to your lovelife is endearing, if not slightly intimidating.

If anything I should be flattered that they consider me worthy of you - I have seen your billboards (if indeed that is your real face). Not, I should add, that I'm judging you on your appearance.

I take it from your email that Ms. Hale's plot has been foiled?

Edward Masen-Cullen (real name last I checked)

To: EMasenCullen
From: Bella Swan
Subject: Things Aren't Always What They Seem…

I think you'd be very disappointed to meet me as I can exclusively reveal that although the face on those billboards is 95% mine, the boobs featured are entirely the property of the station's Photoshop guy.

By the way Rose and Alice aren't just my co-workers, they're also my best friends and roommates. If that isn't the kiss of death for any potential relationship I don't know what is.

I hope you don't mind me asking but did your disaster date know you were talking to us about her? Sorry to have to break this to you but I don't think there were many other British guys getting in the way of proposals in Seattle this weekend.

Bella

To: Bella Swan
From: Edward Masen-Cullen
Subject: National Pastime

In Britain getting in the way of proposals is something of a national pastime so to say your news has unsettled me would be an understatement.

As a matter of fact Kate was well aware of my short career as a radio star and gave me her blessing. I think she felt guilty as well she should, that night was one of the most mortifying of my life. I wouldn't have shared it with close friends, nevermind the public at large if it wasn't for the fact that your Rose was so bloody persuasive. The other dates I spoke of took place back in the UK so I shan't fear retribution from the teacup dog lady.

Speaking of which are you a glutton for punishment? Did nobody ever tell you never to go into business with friends? It's a rule.

Regarding your Photoshop revelation: I am shocked and saddened that anybody would stoop so low. I wonder why you would need larger breasts to tempt listeners in? Can other men detect cleavage over the airwaves?

Edward

To: EMasenCullen
From: Bella Swan
Subject: Masochism

It's true, my name is Isabella Swan and I'm a masochist. Any sensible person would've ditched Alice and her dates long ago but in every other way she's such a lovely friend that I find it hard to say no. It's also hard to say no to the human equivalent of a teacup dog with a bone, which is precisely what she is. Rose is just terrifying.

What's stopped you banning your friend from fixing you up by the way? I'm intrigued to know why you'd torture yourself like that.

Whoever ruled that you shouldn't mix friendship and work may have been onto something. Honestly though, 99% of the time working with Alice and Rose is great and this is the first time Rose has got involved in the mess that is my lovelife.

Do you really think the blushing bride should feel guilty? It seems you were just a victim of bad timing. Anyway, the whole thing sounds so cheesy that there's little hope for her, no good comes of Buble-based proposals if you ask me.

Bella

PS: I'll have to check with the technical department how that On-Air Boob Detector is coming along.

To: Bella Swan
From: Edward Masen-Cullen
Subject: Keep Your Enemies Close…

Bella, please let me know when the OABD is due to come on the market, it will doubtless make a real difference to how I organise my listening schedule. Don't forget.

Now, Emmett. He's my own personal fixer-upper, pain in my arse, colleague and, at a push, friend. We worked together in the London office of my firm and he latched onto me there. I believe he rather fancies us as 'best buddies' however I mostly find him to be a minor annoyance, a bit like a fly buzzing around next to my head. I was tasked with showing him around when he was first posted over to the UK and one double-dating favour turned into two and so on. Now that we've both been sent to set up a Seattle base for the company his skills - both professional and personal - have gone transatlantic. Kate was a friend of his family so it was hard to refuse him that one but I'm putting a line under it. Emmett is on a much shorter leash now.

The funny thing is that he's single himself. I suppose he thinks that I should enjoy dating as much as he does but, truth be told, I'm quite happy being a single workaholic. For a time I thought I might like to be in a relationship but, as I think I mentioned during your show, I don't believe you can force these things. It's very easy to go down the path of believing that you're somehow defective if you're not in a couple but really what's natural about spending time and money eating a meal - a rather intimate act don't you think? - with someone you've never seen or spoken to before in your life.

I think to not be impressed by an all-singing, date-crashing proposal you must be even more cynical than me. Surely romance isn't such a bad thing? And for the record I was only teasing, I don't blame Kate at all for what happened. In fact I hope she and Buble will be very happy together and that no disasters befall them on their wedding day. Truly.

E

I glanced at the clock. How did it get to be after midnight? I'd spent near enough to four hours composing emails and refreshing my inbox, hadn't eaten dinner and now had around five hours before I had to be up and at the studio.

I resisted all temptation to reply to Edward - it still felt strange to call him that - and powered down my iPad, plugging it in at the mains.

"Are you going to kill me?" Rose appeared, leaning against the bathroom door as I brushed my teeth. She was in her ridiculously tiny pyjamas, hair sticking up all over the place and a pillow crease across one side of her face.

"No. Maybe a bit. Did I wake you?"

"It doesn't matter. Why are you up so late?" she asked.

I dropped my toothbrush into its holder and splashed warm water on my face, talking into the sink, "I had some emails to deal with."

"Alright," she said with a half smile, "see you in the morning Bella."

Despite my best efforts and the knowledge that I had a show to host in the morning, I couldn't sleep for thinking about the mysterious Mr. Masen-Cullen. God, even his name… I knew that I could put this to bed once and for all by telling Rose to call off her grand dating plan. I also knew that I could ask her to put it into action. Hell, I could ask him out myself and finally find out if his face was as appealing as his personality - a personality that was funny and sarcastic and self-deprecating and smart.

I knew what I should do - I should man up. But there were two things stopping me...

One: he could be horribly disappointed by me. I mean, he already knew that I needed digital improvement, but there was also just the Bella-ness of it all. I could be smart and sassy on the radio and in emails but me in real life, sitting in front of someone in a restaurant...that me was a whole lot less appealing. I suspected Edward was used to a more refined type of woman not a woman-child who failed spectacularly at keeping her shirt clean during almost every meal.

Two: I could be disappointed in him. I mean, yeah, he seemed pretty damn awesome and I wasn't so shallow as to care whether he was good looking or not. But I kind of liked the fantasy of him. Also, what if he had a glass eye? Those things freak me the fuck out.

Oh, and then there was three: was I ready to give my friends the satisfaction of being right?

Punching my pillow in frustration I tried again to get comfortable in the hope of drifting off to sleep. The clock was showing 3am so I calculated that this was my last chance to get any sort of useful rest before work.

3:37am you bastard…

I padded over to my desk and blindly grabbed for the iPad, powering it up again as I propped myself against the headboard of my bed. Re-reading Edward's last email I felt a warmth spread through me. He was so honest when he spoke about his feelings and he thought so much like me that I felt as though he could have foraged around inside my head. For one thing I had yet to come across anybody else who found the idea of restaurant dates weird. I hated that the first impression someone might get would be of me chewing down on some calamari. Mind you, I wasn't that keen on other types of dates either - there was little point in meeting someone at the movies was there? And as for hooking up at a bar...well, that was a disaster in the making as Alice's second blind date candidate would happily tell you. Still, at least he was gentleman enough to hold back my hair while I puked a bottle and a half of wine up into the gutter.

To: EMasenCullen
From: Bella Swan
Subject: Bad Karma

It's almost 4am and I can't sleep. I've been too busy worrying about the bad karma awaiting you. You know that it's not good to be wishing someone ill on their wedding day right? How would you feel if Kate and Buble are killed in a freak church collapse or a dove incident? I've heard those things can turn on you if they're kept in those little white baskets for too long.

Shame on you.

Sounds like this Emmett guy is as persistent as Alice. But I guess it's nice to know that someone cares right? Right?

Alice sets me up on stealth dates you know? She just springs guys on me when I'm least expecting it. I guess it's because she knows I'll say no if she asks. I bet Emmett isn't that demented.

Your job sounds pretty intense - setting up a whole new office has got to be quite a responsibility. What do you do? I'm guessing not a dating agency. Perhaps you sell something very British like tea or umbrellas. Or maybe you're involved in some sort of corgi training academy, preparing small dogs for a future as companion to the Queen.

If you're an MI6 agent and can't tell me I'll understand.

I was thinking about it and maybe we should meet. It would certainly make Rose happy…

Delete…

Would you like to meet for coffee later this week? We could compare disastrous dating notes…

Delete…

Fuck it. Let's date. We'll embarrass ourselves eating spaghetti in tomato sauce then we can have sex live on camera for Rose to put out as a podcast.

Delete…

Bella.

Send.

I awoke to a hammering at my door, I was still sitting up in bed, the iPad in my lap and a little drool hanging out at the side of my mouth. Shooting out of bed like my ass was on fire I dragged on some unattractive granny pants and threw the first dress that came to hand over my head, squirting antiperspirant onto my armpits and hoping for the best.

"Five minutes Rose!" I shouted, hearing her rattling her keys impatiently.

Four minutes later I was hopping into my shoes as Alice held my bag and Rose locked the door behind us.

"Am I calling to tell Rochester that you're not swayed by his charms?"

"Huh?"

Rose shook her head, putting the car in park outside the studio, "earth to Bella...are you still saying no to a date with Rochester?"

"If you are you're more of an idiot than I thought," Alice chipped in, clambering out of the tiny back seat of the coupe.

"I've already dealt with it," I told them, ignoring their surprised looks, "can we all forget about him now please?"

"What do you mean you've dealt with it?" Alice asked.

I sighed, "I've just dealt with it ok? Can we leave it at that?"

Rose pretending to zip and lock her mouth while Alice just rolled her eyes, "fine. Shall we just get it over with and visit the animal shelter to pick you up a cat or three this afternoon."

"Shut up and get in the studio Brandon."

A/N: Oh my word. Thank you for all your kind words, I'm so pleased that you're enjoying this story. I haven't got around to replying to all your reviews but I will!

For anybody who might think the whole idea of falling for someone you've never met is ridiculous here's a thing...years back I had a huuuuuge crush on a guy I had to exchange emails with for work. He was French and I'm a francophile of the highest order. I'm sure he was probably the Hunchback of Notre Dame but in my head he was Romain Duris about to whisk me away on romantic weekends in Paris. I never met him and I'm quite glad because he never would've lived up to my expectations. C'est la vie.

I hope the formatting has worked here...I'm having problems!

EQx