H is for HEART
"Oi. Sleepyhead. Wake up."
Lily kept her eyes closed and moaned. "What?"
James poked her arm. "It's two in the bloody morning and you fell asleep on my legs."
"Oh." Lily sat up and stretched. "Sorry."
His glasses had fallen off in his sleep, and he searched along the floor for a moment before he found and replaced them on his nose. "No, it's fine. I think you needed this."
She nodded. "I did. Thank you."
"You're welcome." He leaned over and brushed her cheek with his fingertips. "Dried tears," he explained. "I thought I could brush them away, but . . . they're dried . . . so . . ."
She began to wipe at her face. "I'm sorry I cried all over you," she added.
"No apology necessary." He pulled her into a one-armed hug, and then winced.
"Are you okay?"
"Back's a little sore from sleeping on the floor," he said. They were lying on the carpet in the Gryffindor common room, just in front of the fireplace, and Lily couldn't exactly remember when she'd given him permission to hold her like this, but she didn't mind. "So are you okay now?"
She shrugged. "I will be. It's hard, you know? It's not every day you lose a best friend."
"I know." He looked truly sorry, which didn't make sense, because he was James Potter, he hated Sev, he hated Slytherins.
(But, if last night's confessions were to be believed, he loved Lily.)
"He was always jealous of you," she said softly. "He didn't like me spending any time with you. Even just a quick Quidditch match."
"Well, to be fair, I didn't like you spending any time with him."
She forced the obligatory laugh. "Did you really?"
He nodded. "It hurt to see you with him. Because I was always sort of wishing it were me."
She swallowed. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"I wanted to. I did, a few times, when I asked you out to Hogsmeade."
"Oh." She felt her face begin to grow red. "Oh, I didn't realize that was serious!"
"It wasn't Sirius. It was me."
She rolled her eyes. "I didn't realize you legitimately wanted me, I mean. I thought it was a joke. I thought you were making fun of me."
James shook his head. "I wasn't."
"I'm sorry I turned you down so harshly, then." She laughed - a genuine one this time. "I'm not as smart as I think I am, apparently."
"You're smart. You're brilliant."
"No, I'm not. I'm blind. I couldn't see that Sev was verbally abusing me for six straight years. I couldn't see that you liked me. Hang on, is that why you always used to come to the library when Remus and I wanted to study?"
He nodded sheepishly. "And also to throw books," he added.
She laughed. "You're persistent, I'll give you that."
"Yeah." He licked his lips. "So. Can I ask . . . is it mutual?"
She was silent.
He swore. "It's not. Okay. That's okay. That's fine."
"No, shush, I'm thinking about it."
He closed his mouth and waited.
It was four minutes and fifty-nine seconds later when she answered him:
"I think it could be mutual."
He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Really?"
"I dunno. I'd have to spend more time with you, I suppose. I've never had a boyfriend. I don't know how to tell where my heart truly lies."
He still had his arm around her. "Can I kiss you?" he whispered, and it wasn't arrogant, or snarky, or any of the things she had learned to expect from him, no, it was sweet, and afraid, and honest.
So she nodded.
And when his lips touched hers for the first time - when his hands tangled up in her hair - when hers looped around his neck - the heart in question soared.
[So You Think You Know Your Character: Lily Evans - where does your heart truly lie?]
[100 Prompts: "It hurts to see you with him. It hurts because I wish it were me."]
[Collect A Collection Competition: James Potter (Order Members) Word Prompt: First]