Chapter 5

After a short car ride - distances were rather short in Branford - Tony closed the door to their apartment behind Angela.

"Angela, we have to talk!" he began.

"Everything has been said, Tony! Your team is at the top of your list and I'm ranking somewhere further down. I understand! At least now I know where I'm standing." She paused for a short moment, then continued; she wasn't done yet. "This is by far the most important acknowledgement I've ever received for my work, and I assure you one thing ... I won't be watching a third-class college baseball game instead!"

Now it was Tony who stared at her aghast. Had he hurt her that much for her to throw him something as mean as this into his face? Well, she was right for sure, they were only a mediocre team, but the way she had said it, with so much bitterness and anger, made his blood run cold.

"Angela, ... please." He struck a conciliatory tone. She had turned her back towards him in the meanwhile, but her shaking shoulders showed him that she had begun to cry. He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him. Tears were running down her cheeks, disappointment and cluelessness were written all over her face.

"Oh Tony, what's happening with us? We have never spoken to each other like this. Never! In all these years." She shook her head and looked at him questioningly.

She was right. Their life together gradually took a turn that he wouldn't have thought possible. Did it feel like this when you were steadily growing apart? When the once beloved partner slowly became less important to you? When love turned into simple affection and at some point even into indifference? No, that couldn't be happening! It had taken them seven long years to find a way to each other, now it couldn't be over within only a year.

"I don't know, Angela."

That wasn't exactly right. Tony was well aware that he had neglected her lately. Not because he didn't love her anymore, but because he felt the responsibility for his job weighing heavily on his shoulders as never before in his life. His previous jobs hadn't had any impact on other people's lives, at least not directly. Now these young students were sitting in front of him in his class, they needed to be formed and be brought on the right track in life, they entrusted themselves to him, and he was able to crucially influence their personal developments. How was he supposed to unwind on the weekend and pursue his private enjoyment, as tempting as this might be? He just wasn't able to say no to Professor Graham, being asked whether he would have a look at a promising, talented young scholar, for whom a sports scholarship at Wells College could be an exit out of a difficult situation at home. How could he go out on a date with Angela with a clean conscience, having the feeling of abandoning a young man at the same time?

The problem was that Angela hadn't anything to do out here. Had she been busy in her job during the week, her expectations for their weekend together would've been less excessive. Unfortunately, there wasn't a single task in this rural village which slightly met Angela's skills. He couldn't seriously suggest to organize the annual charity gala or become the secretary of the college fraternity. This woman had established and led one of the most successful advertising agencies of the country, she would hardly be satisfied with answering telephone calls or organizing school events. But he also didn't want her to go back to Fairfield. He loved to have her at his side. He loved to wake up having her in his bed beside him, he loved to come home to her in the evening, and he loved their nights, which exceeded by far what he had ever imagined in his wildest fantasies. He knew he was being selfish, that not only his needs mattered, that an unhappy woman at his side would make him unhappy soon enough.

Why wasn't she like other women? Normal women? Women who cared for the household while their husbands earned the bread. 'Tony', he chided himself, 'what kind of a crazy thought is this? She is who she is, and you love her just for who she is!' He didn't want to change her; she was exceptional, gorgeous, wonderful, and he loved every single detail about her. But that didn't resolve their dilemma. Angela was dissatisfied and much worse ... she was miserable.

They had reconciled this evening and had embraced each other, but the atmosphere between them remained a bit tense. They had gone to bed together but hadn't slept cuddled up but with their backs turned to one another, both staring into the darkness. Tony had noticed that Angela had broken into a silent cry, although she had made every effort to prevent just this. He would've liked to take her into his arms, to kiss away the tears from her cheeks, but he didn't dare to make the first step for a fear of rejection. Had he only known that Angela would've gladly let him comfort her, that she only wanted to hear from him that they would make it, that everything would be alright, then he would've brushed his inhibitions aside and flung his arms around her delicate body. But it wasn't to be, so eventually both fell asleep being exhausted, having the disconcerting feeling that something was horribly wrong between them.

The following Sunday was a bleak one. Tony had planned to take Angela to the neighboring village as their weekend getaway. They had a drive-in movie theater there, featuring a Billy-Wilder-marathon. Both of them loved these old black-and-white movies, and they even had "Some Like it Hot" on this weekend, a movie they had seen a dozen times already, but were able to laugh about over and over again. He had wanted to fill the picnic basket with a few special treats, a bottle of good red wine and some home-baked chocolate cookies. A blanket and some pillows had already been stowed in the trunk and the hand brake had been checked. A drive-in movie theater was a romantic place after all, and Tony had hoped they would lose interest in the movie eventually and rather devote themselves to each other. He remembered their first night as a couple. On their desperate attempt to find some intimate togetherness their way had ended up at the shore of a pond in Angela's Jaguar. They had been making out so wildly that the hand brake had come loose eventually and they had been rolling into the pond. That had marked the end of their romantic evening and they had spend their first night of love only here in Iowa. Tony had made sure that the malfunction of a hand brake wouldn't mess up another passionate moment between them.

Well, no need for a reliable hand brake this weekend; all of his plans were obsolete. They spent the early afternoon more or less close-mouthed in the apartment. They only talked about the bare necessities at the breakfast table, then Tony sat down at the larger table at the living room, starting to mark the history exams of one of his classes - something he usually never did on a weekend. He was annoyed by the poor performances of some of his students, which further worsened his mood. Angela was cleaning the kitchen in the meantime, then she sat down at the little corner bench and stared outside. The weather was nice, it was a beautiful April day. The sun slowly worked its way through the scattered clouds and warmed the first spring flowers which had already peeked through the soil after a long winter. After having moped around until midday, being unable to think straight, she decided to go into the living room to talk to Tony. But then she saw him hunched over the history exams, not even noticing her when she entered the living room, so she took one of her books and made herself comfortable on the sofa. But she wasn't able to focus on the words, she only stared on the pages until the letters were blurring in front of her eyes. At some point, the first tear fell onto the page, the the second, and then she couldn't contain herself any more. She started sobbing and was emotionally so upset that her shoulders were trembling.

Tony looked up and glanced at her. He was hit to the core by the way Angela was sitting there; she was a picture of misery with her head hung, her shoulders sloped, being all in tears. He had rarely seen her like this. This time he couldn't help but take her into his arms.

"Angela, Darling", he said while sitting down beside her on the sofa, "don't cry!" She looked at him and he startled about the fear he could see in her eyes. He cupped her face with both hands, brushed away the tears with his thumbs and told her with a warm voice, "I love you, and I'm sorry that I hurt you that much. Your award isn't stupid at all, I am! There's nothing in the world I would rather do but go to New York with you and watch you receive your award. Unfortunately, I can't even though I would love to. We're going to New York some other time, okay? We'll make up for everything we miss, like the stroll through Central Park, the lunch downtown and ...", he hesitated shortly, "and the night at a cute little hotel. I promise! But please, please stop crying."

Tony took the tissue box from the little table beside the sofa where they also put the phone and handed it to Angela. She took a tissue, dried her tears, took another, and blew her nose. Then she took a deep breath, turned towards him and looked at him with red, puffy eyes.

"I love you too, Tony. More than anything in the world. I guess that's why it hurts so much that you prefer to take your team to these stupid Hawkeyes."

"Aaaangela, ...", Tony said in an admonitory tone, "they aren't stupid, and I don't prefer to be there to being with you."

"I know, I know", she smiled slightly, "I only wanted to say 'stupid' too, Tony. It felt like a stab into my heart when you said it. It hurt so much. To get even, I called your team third-class I guess, I'm sorry. You're not third-class, even less so since you're the coach. Sooner or later you're going to play for the championships, I'm absolutely sure about that."

There she was again, the Angela who supported him, the Angela who motivated him, the Angela who believed in him - the Angela he loved so much!

"You are really my most loyal fan, Angela! Thank you!" He turned towards her, now they were sitting opposite each other on the couch. He cupped her face, looked at her earnestly, and asked a little insecure, "What do you say, shall we make up?" When she nodded, he leaned in, closed his eyes and kissed her lips ever so gently. They were a bit snotty, for her nose had been running while she had cried, but he didn't care. Her lips were warm and soft, her kiss tasted sweet and was like a balm on his chipped soul. He took her in his arms and Angela laid her head on his shoulder. They were sitting like this for long time, both enjoying the proximity of the other, Tony stroking Angela's hair absent-mindedly. As both were exhausted after a sleepless night and the preceding day with its ugly fight, their eyes were sinking inevitably. They slept until the early afternoon, Angela being in Tony's arms on the sofa. Both were relieved that they were able to look into each other's eyes again.

In conclusion of the weekend, they decided to take a walk through the fields outside Branford. They were holding hands and didn't talk much at the beginning, they were only enjoying the April sun setting slowly, sending the last warm rays of the day down to earth.

Suddenly Tony broke the silence. "Angela, you won't believe how little students know nowadays about history." He shook his head. "And obviously they aren't interested in it one bit either. I've started to mark the last history test; it's almost intolerable what you get to read as a professor ... and Timothy outdid himself once again! The young lad who gave you his jacket last night. Remember?"

"Of course I remember! He helped me out very kindly. He's a polite young man."

"And the way he plays baseball takes your breath away. If he goes on like this, he'll be a very successful professional ballplayer one day. But if he turns in one more screwed up exam, either in history or literature, I'll have to bar him from the team, at least temporarily.

"Don't be so strict with him", Angela asked him. "He's such a nice guy." She liked him and was thankful that he hadn't left her all alone on that bench.

"I have to be strict, Angela! This boy reminds me a lot of myself. They also told as me that I had a bright future ahead of me as a ballplayer and I believed them so much that I neglected my education. I left college without a degree only to start playing for the Major League as soon as possible. But a career as a ballplayer is an insecure thing, I had to learn the hard way. After my shoulder injury my career was over from one day to the next and I had nothing - no degree, no job. To provide for my family I had to drive Mrs. Rossini's fish truck." He paused for a short moment. It had been a difficult time. He had been young and newlywed, Sam had just been born, his wife had already been seriously sick and he only had a temporary odd job which had hardly flushed enough money into the family funds to pay for the rent and the groceries. "I want to save this kids from what I had to go through, Angela! None of my boys will leave this college without a degree ... not even Timothy."

"You're a good teacher. I knew why I pushed you to go to college and choose teaching as a major." Angela squeezed his hand and cast him a smile.

"And I will be always grateful for that, Angela. But not all of these boys will be as lucky as I was to meet a woman like you." He paused and pulled her close. They looked deeply into each other's eyes, Angela's filled with tears, but before they could fall, they shared a long and intimate kiss. Both were pleased about being able to talk to each other again, that everything between them was like it used to be.

But was it really?

The following days were rather uneventful. They found themselves back in their daily grind soon enough. Tony went to work early in the morning, Angela did all the necessary chores around the apartment and tried to pass the rest of the day somehow. Luckily, the last box of books had arrived from Fairfield with some of her most favorite novels. She knew them all by heart but she could delve into them over and over again. In the late afternoon, she would begin to think about what to cook for dinner and count the minutes until Tony would be home. The atmosphere between them was back to normal, they were relaxed and enjoyed their time together.

Tony was always deadly exhausted when he came home. They were facing the final exams at college and he had to prepare his students, especially the weaker ones. After class, he often took the time to explain them once more what they had been talking about before, or he compiled a literature list with further reading suggestions. Moreover, the baseball season drew to a close and the last games were decisive for their final position in the college league's standings. They still had the chance to move up to the higher division, and that had been Tony's defined goal from the start. Although he didn't schedule any time-consuming endurance trainings any more - that would've had a contra-productive effect - he took more time to focus on the right tactic for the upcoming games and practised a lot of special moves with them. Altogether, Tony's days started early and ended late. They were energy-sapping, and so tiredness sometimes overpowered him in the evening and made him fall asleep on the sofa even before Angela had finished to clear the kitchen from the dinner's remains.

This evening wasn't any different. Angela had prepared a meat loaf with vegetables and mashed potatoes which had come off surprisingly well. Along with it, she had served Tony a beer. Usually, they had a glass of wine in the evening, therefore he was astonished when she put a perfectly poured glass of beer in front of him, with a nice head. Even more astonished, rather appalled he was, as Angela herself tossed down a beer. When she put the glass to her lips, he almost choked.

"Is there a major football game on tonight and I forgot all about it?" he asked.

"What makes you think that?" Angela answered as if she didn't have the slightest inkling why he was staring at her with saucer eyes.

"Well, you're drinking beer ... I thought you don't like that bitter stuff, and for years you used to say that beer belongs into a football stadium and not on the dinner table if I remember it correctly", he explained his astonishment.

She hadn't told him that she had her beer blended with a lot of lemonade. It looked like beer but didn't taste like it. It even wasn't so bad after all, it was refreshing and went along perfectly with the meat loaf.

Angela only grinned. "That seems to be an aspect of me you don't know yet!" She lifted her eyebrows.

Tony eyed her up while she looked at him challengingly. "Ooookay, then tell me ... are there any more aspects of you I don't know yet? Aspects worth discovering?"

"Wellllll, maybe you have to go on searching ... " She left that invitation hanging in the air just like this.

"Ey oh, oh ey. I guess I better come up with a search strategy I can put into operation straight away", he answered with a knowing look, and Angela's heart began to pound faster upon this alluring prospect. Would he seduce her tonight once again? By every trick in the book? Like he hadn't done in quite a while? Would they make love as long and as passionately until such time as they fell asleep exhausted, their arms and legs intertwined as if the laws of nature concerning the flexibility of the human skeleton were suspended? Would he show her finally again with actions and not only with words how much he loved her?

She sighed happily. "Let me just take the remnants of the food into the kitchen, then I'm all yours!" She stood up, picked up their plates, leaned down to him and pressed a lustful kiss on his mouth. "Mmmm, yummy, beer!" she said mischievously, turned around and left for the kitchen.

Tony made himself comfortable on the couch. It was much smaller than the one in Fairfield but it had exactly the right size for two adults to snuggle up to each other, which they had done several times. Tony felt his arousal. The way she had just been looking at him before turning around and entering the kitchen. This woman was so sexy, even in worn-out jeans and a baggy sweater! It had been a few days that they had last made love, too many days! If he only wasn't so damn exhausted and worn-out; his muscles were sore from today's weight training. He wanted to be a good example for his athletes, so he struggled through each and every training session together with his boys - even if all of them were about twenty years younger than him and able to take the efforts significantly better. 'I lay my head back on the rest only for a short moment. Just a second. And when Angela is through with the kitchen, I'm going to fool around with her! Hmmm ...'

He shouldn't have done so! The back of his head hadn't completely touched the rest yet, and his eyes had already been sinking. When Angela entered the living room about fifteen minutes later, he was fast asleep, his arms folded in front of his chest. She froze abruptly upon seeing him like this. Of course she was disappointed, she had imagined this evening to be very different, but she also had to chuckle. He looked like a small boy taking an afternoon nap. She knew his days were long and strenuous, and that he hadn't fallen asleep out of carelessness to her but out of sheer exhaustion. Still ... which were the joys in life that remained for her? Neither her job, her family or friends - she had left them all behind in Fairfield, but nor Tony, who was indeed present but then again somehow not really there.

When Angela woke up the next morning, she heard the clattering of dishes in the kitchen. Was Tony preparing breakfast? On a Thursday? Usually, he would only have a quick bite, drink a hasty sip of coffee and then went off to work. She got out of bed, slipped her nightgown on and made her way to join him.

"Good morning", she said somewhat surprised, standing in the door frame and not believing her eyes. The table was nicely laid, Tony had squeezed some orange juice, there was a basket full of toasted bread and an omelette sizzling in a frying pan on the stove. "What's going on here?"

Tony swung around upon hearing her voice and looked at her with puppy eyes. "Good morning, Love." He approached and hugged her. "I'm so sorry about last night, that I fell asleep on the couch. Actually, I had planned to discover those hidden aspects of yours", he said both guiltily and inconsolably.

"Well, Tony, now those remain in the dark for you unfortunately." Although Angela still regretted the missed chance for a night of love, she wasn't angry with him. "How come you have enough time for a real breakfast today?"

"I cancelled my attendance at our weekly Thursday morning jour fixe ... due to private obligations." He winked at her. "Our evening ended so abruptly yesterday, so I wanted to spend some time with you this morning at least. Even if it doesn't compensate at all for what I had in mind for us last night." He gave her a tender kiss on the mouth.

"How sweet of you." She answered his kiss equally lovingly and affectionately. "Your omelette's going to get scorched I'm afraid."

"Ooops", Tony exclaimed while having a look at the stove. "Have a seat, Angela. We have about an hour together. Not much, but better than nothing."

Angela always went to Branford's little farmers' market on Thursdays. Tony had a long training session every Thursday which used to last until late in the afternoon. This gave her enough time to saunter about the town square, buy some fresh groceries, carry her purchases home, and eventually start cooking. Angela loved that little market. Farmers from Branford and its surroundings sold regional and fresh produce. One could get all sorts of vegetables, fruit in abundance, and newly laid eggs. A dairy farmer offered his homemade products - cheese, sour cream, yogurt and fresh full-cream milk. There was a cattle farmer from the neighboring village who sold such superb steaks any starred chef would be panting for.

As on every Thursday, Angela had her shopper basket crammed with goods and she was now standing in front of a stand with wonderful flowers. How about she brought Tony a nice bouquet for a change? Not pink roses, no, that was his turf, but a nice bouquet with beautiful tulips, gladiolas, and daffodils wasn't such a bad idea, flowers which augured spring. She was just reflecting upon how she would manage to get all her purchases home, as she was already heavily laden, when a voice asked her from behind, "Shall I help you carrying all of this home, Angela?"

She turned around and looked into Timothy's bright blue eyes.