There's really not a lot to say about this chapter, but there's finally a new flashback and yes it's a dark chapter, but again the rating is for a reason, please don't hit me!

"But when she turned her back to the lights, she saw that the night was so dark...she could not see the stars. The world felt as high as the depthless night sky and deeper than she could know.
She understood, suddenly and keenly, that she was too small to run away,
and she sat on the damp ground and cried."

― Shannon Hale

"It's cold Ziva and I'm freezing." Tali was currently huddled against her sister as they were sitting in front of the house in the pouring rain.
It wasn't raining often in Tel Aviv, but when it did it never seemed to stop.
Instinctively Ziva pulled her a little closer in an attempt to keep her warm, but as the sun began to set the air around them constantly grew colder.

They hadn't intended to end up in front of their home. But once again their father had been upset and had punished both of them by throwing them out of the house while it was raining hard.
Eli had a meeting in his office when Tali started to get bored because they had to remain quiet throughout the time of the meeting.

She was 8 years old at that time and after a long day in school all she wanted to do was to play and run around.
After a few attempts of calming her little sister down she gave up and they started to run around their room and would erupt in fits of giggles whenever they caught up on the other and tickled each other.

Hearing the noises coming from their room Eli had stomped in, anger written on his face, and pulled both of them out of the house, telling them to stay there until he would allow them to come in again.
"I know Tali, but it's going to be ok." She now tried to comfort her sister.

"No!" Tali now almost screamed. She had always been a more emotional and passionate person than her sister and as she grew older she learned that things wouldn't be ok.
"I don't want to be here anymore. Please." Ziva had heard those words countless times throughout the past weeks but she knew that it was impossible.
"I'm sorry Tali, so sorry." She now whispered into her sister's ear, hoping she would understand.

It became more and more difficult for her to calm Tali down and protect her and whenever she realized this it stung more than anything else could.
All those years she had hoped that she could protect the innocence of her little sister but seeing her growing up she knew it had been a vain attempt.

"Why is abba hurting us Zi?" Tali asked in a small, child-like voice after a moment of silence, yet her tone gave away that her soul was old and has seen enough for a lifetime.
It was a question Ziva still didn't have an answer to, no matter how much Tali was begging her for one.
- - - - - - - -

Disturbed from the flashback she had while being asleep Ziva woke up as her whole body was trembling and shaking and cold sweat was forming on her skin.
Still being caught up in the dream she let out a small cry and caused Tony to wake up as well.

Seeing the distraught state she was in he quickly collected his thoughts and tried to calm her down.
"Zi, hey Zi. It was just a dream. Wake up." He gently shook her as a small sigh escaped his lips.
He had hoped the nightmares and flashbacks would subside, yet he jolted up in bed almost every night as Ziva had yet another haunting nightmare.

Wriggling herself out of his hold she turned around to stare at him wide-eyed and unoriented while trying to compose her ragged breathing.
"Calm down sweet cheeks." Tony spoke up anew. "What did you dream about?" He attempted to get something out of her.

"She told me that she wanted to get away from him. She begged me and I simply ignored her." Silent tears made their way down her cheeks as her voice cracked with every word she spoke.

Guilt was washing over her as the images of her soaking wet sister came up over and over again.
All of the sudden it all became too much and she jumped out of the bed and ran towards the wall opposite of the bed.

"It's not your fault Ziva, do you hear me?" He now tried to prevent her from doing something stupid but it was too late since her fists already connected with the wall in front of her.
Jolting out of the bed he race towards her and quickly got hold of her arms as she struggled against his hold anew.

"No Ziva, stop it. This is not right." Desperation was surging through his mind as he fastened his hold on her while she started to kick and cry.
"Let go of me Tony." She simply screamed, her breath ragged and uneven.
"No, I won't. I won't let you hurt yourself any longer." His voice was firm, yet he knew he couldn't keep up with her for long.

The words finally sinking in Ziva began to slide down the wall and sunk down onto the floor as she let the tears flow freely.
Tony immediately kneeled down next to her and this time she didn't fight him off when he carefully wrapped his arms around her.

She reluctantly relaxed into his embrace and after a few minutes spoke up again.
"I should have run away with her." Her voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper.
"This is not true Ziva. You were too young to live on your own and so was your sister." He could only imagine what they must've been through when all her sister wanted was to get away from home.

"She asked me why Eli kept hurting us and I could not answer her. I did not understand it myself." It was something that still kept her awake some nights, a question she didn't quite have an answer to, even after all those years.

"Eli was unable to love his own children Ziva. His work was always more important to him and he probably didn't know it any other way. Some people just are like that and we can't change it and sometimes we will never fully understand it. But trust me when I tell you that none of this was your fault or because of something you and your sister did." He tried to give her the answer her heart was longing for so desperately and a look into her eyes told him that she finally found some peace after hearing his words.

Seeing that she relaxed further he gently grasped her hands and checked them for injuries. Her knuckles were slightly swollen but besides that there were no major scratches even though there would probably be some bruises the next day.

Lifting her hands towards his lips he tenderly kissed her knuckles before letting go of them again.
"Can you promise me one thing?" Ziva gave him a small nod in reply.
"Don't hurt yourself like that again. Talk to me and let me help you. Please." He was quietly pleading her and it was hard. Hard for her to promise him to not lose control again, but she would try it, for him.
And so she gave him another small nod before simply whispering "Ok."

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