Between all the Christmas stuff going on and after being really sick I managed to write this chapter. At first I was a little unsure about it, but trust me the outcome/end of it was totally worth writing it!
I hope you like this chapter and I really need your opinion/feedback. I don't want reviews because I want "many" of them, but because I genuinely want to know what you think, please keep this in mind!
And now: Enjoy reading!

"There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment."

― Sarah Dessen

The next Friday arrived soon and with that they were both sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Parker once again.
Tony could tell that something was on her mind as she seemed tense and absentminded while nervously biting her lower lip but eventually she spoke up.

"Tony?" She started "Would you…uhm, would you mind if I talked to Lauren alone first?" She shot him an insecure look.
"Yeah, why not." Tony simply shrugged it off and gave her a reassuring smile.

Before she got to answer Lauren entered the room and greeted them before Ziva walked down the hall with her.
Lauren didn't question why Tony had stayed behind, knowing Ziva would eventually tell her about her motives.

After exchanging some lighter words she waited for Ziva to explain the situation, seeing as she was extremely nervous.
"I wanted to talk to you about something and it concerns Tony that is why…" She trailed off, unable to finish her thoughts.
"…you wanted to talk to me in private first." Lauren smiled and waited for further explanations.

Thinking about how to approach this subject the words suddenly spilled out of her like they were begging to finally come out.

"I kissed him yesterday." Her breathing was uneven and she was stunned about her own directness.
"And that's why you are so troubled." Lauren stated. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" Ziva took a deep breath before speaking up again.

"I-I had a rough night and when I woke up the next morning…I just did not want to think about it anymore. I wanted to forget for a moment and then there were those feelings." It was hard for her to explain what was going on inside of her since she barely understood herself at the moment.

"He was there and had always offered you comfort." Lauren replied as if she was merely stating a fact, waiting if Ziva would confirm or deny it.
"No." Ziva immediately shot back, almost angrily. Lauren made it sound like she simply used him, but she knew it wasn't true.

She let a moment pass before saying "You love him." Her voice was void of any emotion, yet a small smile tucked on the corners of her lips.
"Yes." Ziva replied weakly and barely above a whisper, her cheeks blushing ever so slightly.
"What am I going to do?" Her voice ultimately broke and she didn't dare to look up from her lap.

"Well, you are in a difficult situation Ziva. There is a lot going on in your life at the moment and I think Tony is a great support in all of this, though a relationship also means a lot of work." Lauren said and waited for Ziva's reaction to her statement.

"You say I should take things slow." She released her lower lip from her bite and looked at her insecurely.
"It's entirely up to you Ziva, but you should probably talk to Tony as well. Talking about him, should I get him now?" Ziva simply nodded in reply and Lauren got up to go to the waiting room.

Seeing him coming in she shot him an ever so small smile before he sat down next to her which calmed Tony down a little more.

"Now how about you tell me about the past week? Have you been able to eat more frequently?" Lauren asked after settling down opposite of them.

"I tried to eat more but I broke down once after going for a morning run." She looked down ruefully, her voice growing more and more quiet.
"We tried to take it slow and throughout the day I remind her to eat small snacks, especially after finding her unconsciously lying in the kitchen." Tony began to explain the situation.

"That's good. I mean that you do your best. It's important that you want this too." Lauren encouraged her and smiled at how much support she had found in Tony.
"I try." Was Ziva's simple reply as she finally looked up again but didn't stop fidgeting with her fingers.

"Do you want to tell me what caused the bruises on your hands?" Lauren had already noticed them earlier and guessed they were the result of mentioned rough night.

"I had kind of a flashback while I was asleep. It was about my sister and how she told me that she wanted to get away from home." She took a shaky breath. "When I woke up it just felt so real again and I needed to do something about it. Tony tried to stop me but I kicked him until he managed to calm me down." Ziva was clearly ashamed of her actions even though both Tony and Lauren knew that it was none of her fault.

"But he managed to calm you down." Lauren stated, pointing out the positive in all of this. She knew how important it was that she let someone else soothe her and that she was able to get out of her flashbacks with the help of Tony.
"Yes." Ziva nodded and Tony slightly squeezed her hand, careful not to hurt her.

"I want you to understand that for a while you might not be aware of your reactions at first, but you should also realize that you are not alone in this. The nightmares and flashbacks will come less frequently the more you talk and until it gets better you should not suppress your emotions." Lauren sensed that Ziva tended to bury and hide her feelings which wouldn't help her situation at all.

Letting her words sink in Ziva swallowed and nodded slightly before glancing towards Tony because she felt so overwhelmed.

"Ok, I think we had enough heavy talk for today you two. I hope the bruises fade soon." Lauren smiled towards Ziva and got up from her chair.

"Thank you Lauren, I do hope so too." And with that she finally smiled again, even though it was a small one.
It was a heavy conversation indeed and left her with one certainty: Somewhere along the way she had fallen in love with Tony.

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