I know there is no excuse for the lack of updates on this story but I went through a rough phase and was lacking energy and motivation and I feel really bad that I let you wait this long.
To make things clear: I'm not cutting this story short, I had the end planned out months ago and had this chapter partly written and finished it now. There will be one more chapter coming after this one in form of an epilogue and I really hope you like the outcome!
And with the words of my lovely friend: "It's gonna break your heart but it's probably already shattered anyway, so read on." - so enjoy reading and leave a review telling me what you thought about it!

PS: I had this quote planned out for this chapter right from the start & I'm really happy that I finally get to use it!

"There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn't matter anymore."

― Laurie Halse Anderson

"Hey." He quietly spoke up as he saw her waking up beside him. At this she shuffled underneath the covers until she was facing him and what he saw next came close to a miracle. For the first time in weeks she was genuinely smiling. It wasn't a forced one; it was a small, lazy smile while her eyes still weren't quite open yet.
"Hey." She whispered back, her voice still laced with sleep, her body still relaxed and lacking any tension.

"Did you sleep well?" He turned to look at her and for a moment she contemplated her answer.
"Actually…yes." At this a content sigh escaped her lips. "It was a dreamless night." She didn't have to explain to him what this meant to her, he understood how much of a big deal this was after all those nights where he had to wake her because of the horrible nightmares that kept hunting her.
"I'm glad." His smile was genuine and without much thought he leaned in to press a soft kiss onto her forehead.

For a moment they were both silent but he knew something was on Ziva's mind again even though it was still early in the morning.
"I miss going to work Tony." She confessed after a while, her voice quiet, and it almost took him by surprise.
Of course he knew how much work meant to her but he wasn't sure if it really would be the best idea even though she was slowly recovering.
"I know, but do you really think you are ready to go back to work yet?" He really wanted to support her but also wanted her to think this through.

At this Ziva started biting her lower lip in contemplation before voicing her thoughts on his concerns.
"I just feel so useless but I am not sure either." She admitted and shot Tony a look of uncertainty, hoping he would have a solution for her problem.
"Hey, I know that this is hard for you. How about we ask Lauren at the next appointment and when she gives you green light we can talk to Gibbs." He now suggested and took one of her hands in his to squeeze it lightly.
"That sounds good, thank you Tony." A grateful smile crossed her lips and he couldn't help but smile as well when he saw it.

"Now, what do you feel up to today? Any breakfast wishes to begin with?" He was still careful when it came to this topic and tried to include her and make things easier for her. She was still thin and both he and Lauren were a little worried about her but she tried to eat more regularly and started voicing her wishes for meals as well which he was glad about.
"I think I want cereals with some cut up fruit." Her voice sounded insecure and she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt as she spoke with Tony but he didn't comment on it and encouraged her.
"I think I can do that." He smirked and got up to start preparing breakfast for both of them while he told Ziva to stay in bed for a little longer.

As he was cutting up some strawberries he had found in the fridge his mind kept wandering to the events the previous day and he once again wondered how they were going to manage working on the relationship between them as well seeing as he didn't want to rush anything.
Deciding to not over think it at the moment he focused on their breakfast again and made himself toast and carried the tray with the food and their cups back to the bedroom.
Seeing him reappearing her eyes ever so slightly lit up even though the thought of food didn't excite her all too much.

Once he was settled down next to her again, the tray resting in his lap, she reached for the bowl of cereals and slowly began to eat while thinking about what she wanted to do today.
"I think I would like to go to the park today." She spoke up after a while of comfortable silence.
Looking outside the window it was clear that the last days of autumn had begun and since the sun was shining she wanted to enjoy the few days they had left of the warmer season.
"Sounds good, we could pack some lunch and eat there as long as the weather stays this way." Tony suggested and Ziva nodded slowly in return before both of them finished eating and got ready to head to the park.
Tony had prepared sandwiches for both of them and had grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge while Ziva grabbed a blanket and a warmer coat and with that they were ready to go outside.

Arriving at the park they soon found a sunny spot to sit down and while Tony began unpacking everything Ziva watched the people around them going on about their life.
"Tali and I almost never had picnics when we were children." She spoke up after a while, her voice thoughtful and quiet as she thought back to her own childhood.
"I'm sorry you didn't have the childhood you deserved. I'm sure your sister loved being outside with you." Tony carefully chose his words because he knew it was a touchy subject for her and he hoped she wouldn't slip into a flashback once again.
"Yes, she was always so happy when I took her to the lake or playground, she was so carefree then." A small smile appeared on Ziva's lips as she thought about her sister being happy for once.

"I always wanted to give my children the childhood I never had. They should not be forced to grow up so fast." She added quietly and it surprised Tony that she talked to him so openly.
"You will be a great mother Zi." There lay a silent promise in his words, one she couldn't quite process but it made her heart beat faster when she realized that he didn't oppose to the idea of having children one day.
"Thank you Tony." Her voice was a little hoarse and barely above a whisper when she leaned into his side and rested her head on his shoulder and when she closed her eyes her body visibly relaxed next to him while he draped his arm around her and pulled her closer.

There was still so much she needed to work on, but knowing that Tony saw a future for both of them as well, maybe even with children, made her stronger and actually look forward to the upcoming months and years she would get to spend with him.