Notes:

[f/n]= first name

[b/n]=baby's name

And when speaking, Karkat's dialog will not be in his quirk form

After learning about the pregnancy, Karkat went on a hunt for every "How to be a Dad" book imaginable. In the kitchen, in the living room, in our bedroom we now share together, everywhere I look there are instructional books. "Karkat," I huff as I clear the books off the kitchen counter, "I thought I told you to stop leaving these books everywhere!"

"Well excuse me for wanting to prepared! I'm a troll, if you haven't noticed, and I have no clue on how these little wrigglers of pink flesh operate. I am not going to fuck this up!" Karkat declares, sitting at the kitchen table with yet another book. I grin at him, thankful despite the fact that our house is pretty much a library now.

"Don't worry Karkat, you will make a great daddy. You are after all," I say as I saunter over to him, "loving," I kiss his forehead, "caring," I move to his cheek, "reliable" I murmur, lips grazing his, "and the troll I love" I finish as I press my lips to his. He sets aside his book and grabs my waist, pulling me closer to him. His lips move perfectly against my own, warm and soft, despite being chapped. He pulls away, his forehead resting against my own.

His face is flushed red, and he has a hard time looking me in the eyes, but he attempts anyways. "I'm like that because of you. I want to be better than what I am, so that I won't end up a disappointment for you. I screwed up as leader, I screwed up with Terezi, I screwed up with Gamzee, I screwed up a lot of things, but I will not screw up with you, with our child."

My eyes gaze at him warmly as I cup his cheek with my hand. "Karkat Vantas, I love you because of who you are: you are loving, caring, reliable, and so much more because that is how you have always been! You are a wonderful matesprit, and will be just as great of a daddy!"

He twitches his lips into that half smile I adore so much. "Flushed for you," he murmurs, "and we have a childbirth class to go to."

"Karkat!" I cry as I pull my face away to stare at him with exaggerated eyes. "Not another one!"

"Oh yes another one," he says as he grabs my hand and tugs me out the front door, "by the time this baby is going to come out we are going to be professionals at childbirth. That baby is going to have the smoothest ride out of your womb into this world that it will be smoother than Strider. We will be so professional that the doctors will be groveling at our feet begging us to work for them."

I sigh as I feel my body being tugged towards my car. Another day, another boring class about childbirth.

*Time Skip*

"Karkat?" I say slowly as I stare at the new red car waiting in the driveway. "Did you buy a minivan?"

"Yep."

"Karkat, we are only having one child! We don't need a van!"

"It's for safety, [f/n]! I've seen the damage those human scuttlebuggies can do! I am not going to put our little pupa at risk! The salesman told me these type of human transportational devices are one of the safest, plus they are child friendly!"

"How much did you pay for it?"

"45,000 boondollars."

I slap my hand to my face in a facepalm."Ok, Karkat, we can keep the minivan. But next time, check with me before buying stuff like this, ok? I can sense the impending scam artist tricks you would fall for."

He glares at me and huffs. "I can make perfectly reasonable decisions on my own, and no ignorant mouthed, poor excuse for a salesman is capable of scamming me."

"Of course, darling, of course."

*Time Skip*

We meet again, toilet. I glare at the toilet as I once again heave the acidic liquids from my throat, eyes watering up. Who knew you would get so acquainted with your toilet during pregnancy: first the pregnancy test, and now morning sickness!

I hear the bathroom door open and groan, not wanting Karkat to see me in such a state. "[f/n]!?" he cries, rushing to my side. "Are you ok?" Despite studying so much on pregnancy and childbirth, Karkat cannot help but panic when faced with circumstances he is not used to.

I spit in the toilet to clear my mouth. "Yeah, it is just morning sickness," I force out, the world a bit blurry with the sickness in my stomach and the water in my eyes. I feel Karkat's hands start to rub small circles on my back, a relaxing motion that releases some of my built up tension. But then I feel bile rise in my throat and I once again heave into the toilet, Karkat removing his hands from my back to hold my hair away from my face, his reassuring shushes helping to tune out the sounds of my retching.

As much as I didn't want him seeing me like this, I cannot help but be thankful he is here. Having him here, with his massages, shushes, and his presence alone, makes this terrible experience a little bit better. He stays by side until the sickness subsides, and he brings me a cup of water to clear out the taste. This troll, who acts like a douchebag, always surprises me with the amount of compassion he tries to hide behind his foul language and grumpy behavior. But I even love his foul mouth and grumpy behavior, and wouldn't have him change for the world.

*Time Skip*

"Kaaaarrrkaaaaat!" I whine, and Karkat glares at me from the computer chair. He knows that tone, and it means no good. I am having yet another craving for a consumable oddity.

"What will it be this time, fuckass? Another creamy concoction, ketchup coated substance, how about Earth grown veggies drowned in the tears of laboring children?"

Ignoring him, I smile brightly. "You have to come here if I am going to tell you!" He rolls his eyes to the ceiling but listens to me anyways, crawling on his hands and knees to get to me on our bed.

"What is it, little shit?" Suddenly I latch onto him, lips moving hungrily against his. His eyes widen at the sudden attack, but surrenders immediately to my kiss. I tangle my hands through his soft messy hair, hands grazing his horns, which entices little moans from him. I suckle his bottom lip, asking for entrance, when-

"[f/n]!" Karkat cries, pulling me away from him. "Not in front of the child!"

I stare at him incredulously. "But Karkat! The baby can't see anything! And besides, I'm craving you right now."

Karkat shakes his head. "I read somewhere that babies can sense these kinds of things through the womb. I don't want to expose our child to this behavior!"

"Godammit Karkat!"

*Time Skip*

I snuggle into the soft pillow, enjoying my little nap on the couch. Being pregnant wears me out, considering the size of my belly weighing me down and having to wobble everywhere. But then suddenly loud classical music bursts out, jerking me awake from my dreamy state.

"What the hell?!" I shout, looking around for the source of the instrumental music. There stands Karkat, a radio in his hands. "What was that for?"

"I read that babies who listen to classical music end up smarter than average babies. Our little pupa will be the smartest shit out there. He or she will show that smartass Sollux who the real computer genius is!"

"Karkat, I think it will be a very, very long time before our child will be even close to rivaling Sollux."

Bullshit, our child will be a natural born genius. He or she will be cracking codes the moment we set him or her down at a computer. His or her genius will be so immense that Sollux will rage quit hacking through the realization of his ignorance compared to our child!"

I flop my head back down on my pillow. "Of course Karkat, our child will be a genius even without the use of classical music. Now can you please turn it down?"

*Time Skip*

Oh no.

Oh no.

Shit shit shit. "Karkat!" I scream, the shrillness of my voice piercing through the house. "Karkat!" I scream again, the wetness spreading through my sweatpants. I hear loud thumps and crashes as Karkat stomps down the stairs, tripping, stumbling, and crashing along the way.

"Fuck, oh gog, what is it? [f/n]? [f/n]!" he screams, panic etched into his very being, eyes wild.

"Water broke, water broke," I repeat in a panic. All that mental preparation and I was still terrified. What if something goes wrong? What if I lose the baby? What if I die?

"Shit!" Karkat cries, scared like I am. He rushes to my side, grabbing my shoulders and guiding me to the minivan. "Calm down, deep breaths. In, out, in, out," Karkat directs me, carefully putting me in the backseat.

He drives faster than what he should, shouting bloody insults to anyone who slows us down. Time seems to have lost all meaning when we arrive at the hospital, contractions pulling me apart. Karkat once again guides me out of the car, checking me into the hospital, and before I know it I am on a stretcher, Karkat rushing to keep up.

I scream and scream as I try to push the baby out, hand clasping tightly onto Karkat's as he worriedly urges me to push, his eyes scared. Time, time passes in a way I cannot detect through the unbearable pain and pushing.

But then I hear it.

The loud, wailing cry of my beautiful baby.

Exhaustion courses through my body as I collapse on the bed, Karkat's trembling hand still clutching my own. I wait patiently as they clean and wrap my baby up.

"Congratulations, you have a beautiful, healthy, and um" the nurse stutters with a glance at Karkat, "human baby girl."

I hold my little girl, our little pupa, in my arms as if she is the world. Hell, her and Karkat are my world. I brush my fingers delicately across the little bit of black hair she already has. Before I know it, tears of immense joy are leaking down my face and I look at Karkat with a watery grin. "What should we name her?"

We spend a bit of time discussing the possible names, arguing and submitting, before Karkat decides on a beautiful name. "How about [b/n]?"

The name resonates with me, and I test it on my tongue. "[b/n] Vantas...I like it Karkat! I vote yes!"

He gives me his half smile, and with a return grin I started handing [b/n] to Karkat. "Do you want to hold her?"

He looks nervously at me. "What if I drop her? Or bruise her because of my troll strength, or cut her with my sharp claws, or-"

"Karkat, trust me, you won't." With a gulp, he very gently takes [b/n] from my arms. He stares at her in absolute wonder, red eyes glimmering in awe. Slowly, he delicately pokes her pudgy cheek, and she lets out an adorable whine.

Red liquid leaks from Karkat's eyes and he holds [b/n] closer. "I love her," he says, cradling her in his arms. He looks at me with a watery grin of his own. "I love you."

"I love you too, Karkat. I love you, [b/n]."

*Time Skip*

Ugh, I hate mornings. Karkat wasn't at my side this morning, so I assumed [b/n] woke up and Karkat decided to take care of her. The smell of pancakes wafts through my nose, and my stomach growls in appreciation. I am smiling as I walk towards the kitchen. My matesprit made me pancakes again! Ever since Karkat decided to learn the art of making human cuisine, he makes me jealous with the fact that he is a better cook than me, a human!

"Good morning," I call to Karkat, who is protectively cradling [b/n] in one arm as he uses his other to flip a pancake. Noticing me he turns around, and-

"Good morning." There he stands, in a pink, frilly, apron. It takes me a moment to fully register what he was wearing, but when it does I bury my face in my hands, bubbling laughter echoing across the room.

Offended, he points his spatula at me accusingly. "What for fu-fricks sake are you laughing at, [y/n]?" he asks, stumbling over a curse word. Ever since [b/n] was born, Karkat tries his hardest not to cuss. It was a very, very difficult thing for him to do.

"Oh nothing," I giggle, "It's just that I take it back. You make a better mommy than a daddy."

He growls at me but straightens himself in pride. "You are just jealous that I am the superior parent."

"Oh yes, I am so jealous of the pink apron of maternal prowess," I say as I wrap my arms around his waist, careful not to bump [b/n], and place a kiss on his cheek.

"You better be," he mumbles, face slightly red. After that incident, a few days later I bought him a mug with the wording "World's #1 Mom." He uses it every day.

*Time Skip*

It is [b/n]'s first soccer game, and lets just say Karkat has been put into a soccer mom frenzy. He has been running around everywhere, filming [b/n]'s every movement, and shouting at every kid who pushes [b/n] or steals the ball from her. He has the opponents very terrified.

We have been asked to leave, but after a very heated argument with Karkat, the teachers avoided us.

Watching little [b/n], run across the field, tiny feet kicking around the ball, I cannot help but be filled with pride for my little girl. It is obvious Karkat is proud too, considering his shouts of encouragement he sends her way.

Finally the whistle blows signalling the end of the game. I quickly glance at the scoreboard- [b/n]'s team won! "Hell yeah!" I hear Karkat whoop as he runs over to [b/n] and swoops her in his arms, spinning her around in victory. "That's my girl! Kicking butt wherever she walks, showing everyone who is boss!"

[b/n] giggles and wraps her arms around Karkat's neck. She glances over at me. "How did I do, mommy?"

I grin at her brightly. "Honey, you may need to be a one man team, the other team needs a chance at least!"

Karkat scoffs. "Puh-lease, [b/n] can beat them even by herself."

[b/n] is basking in so much joy, and she cries out in excitement, "Can we have a ice cream victory party?"

"Duh!" Karkat and I cry in unison. A victory party of hot fudge, sprinkles, and various flavors of ice cream is in order.

*Time Skip*

[b/n] has grown into a beautiful woman of 16 years. And today is the day of her first break-up. Karkat has her enveloped in his arms as she sobs into his shoulder.

I bring over a mug of hot chocolate, and start rubbing comforting circles on her back. "I-I thought he l-loved me." [b/n] cries, holding onto Karkat for dear life. "I wasn't g-good eno-ogh!"

Karkat growls in anger. "[b/n], you are the best damn thing that bulge licking piece of wasted space had. He can't do any better than you. If his head wasn't filled with- oh wait, his mind doesn't even have anything in it. He is way too much of a dumb fuck to understand the value you have, like a slug not understanding the value of gold."

"I loved him..I thought he was the one for me," [b/n] whispers, having calmed down a bit.

"[b/n], let me me tell you something. There was a time in my life where I thought Terezi was the only one for me. I thought I had quadrants- I mean romance- all figured out, and tried to fit Terezi perfectly into all of them. But she couldn't handle it and we grew apart, and she fell in love with another man. I was heartbroken and felt completely worthless."

"But then," he continues, looking me in the eye, "I met your mother. She was funny, nice, c-cute, and able to handle my temper and language. She stuck by my side through everything, being my moirail first and comforting me when no one else would. She loved me for everything I am, even when I felt like what I was was a screw up. We watched rom-coms together, played video games together, talked and explored Alternia, and before I knew it I was horns over heels in love with her. And now, I can say that I am the happiest troll in the world. I thought Terezi was the one, but turns out she wasn't. [f/n] was."

"Sweetheart," I murmur to [b/n], "that boy of yours wasn't the one if he would treat you like this. Who wants a guy like that? No, someday you'll find a man who will stick with you through thick and thin, like how I found Karkat."

[b/n] pulls away from Karkat and gives us a weak grin. "Thank you mom, thank you dad. You're right, I don't need him anyways. I have you guys."

I pull [b/n] and Karkat into an embrace. "And you always will. We're family."

The End