Thank you all for the well wishes and reviews. I truly appreciate it. Now, on to our story.
Santana rode her bike slowly down the highway, enjoying the new rising sun. She loved riding in the early morning hours when the roads were clear. She loved watching the sun wake up, slowly rising over hills and mountaintops. She loved new beginnings.
It's only been two weeks, but Santana had made up her mind from the very beginning that she would truly be with Brittany. She's happy she had her relationship with Dani, you need those training wheels, you need to learn how to love and be loved by another person. You need successes and failures. You need to know that your first heartbreak may not be your last, and that you will survive. You will survive the grief of losing a person you loved, you will survive whatever reason you lost them, and if you're smart you'll love the next person without fear, because you know you can survive anything. She's falling for Brittany harder every day, but she's not afraid. She knows love always starts out perfect and sometimes ends horribly but she trusts it, trusts it more than she ever has before. She feels like she can see it better now, now that she's stopped running from it. Now that's she's stopped fighting for it, stopped fighting for Wolf. She can see it when people love her back. Brittany loves her back. That's part of why she's taking this ride, peacefully and alone. She's making the right moves, moves that felt right to her since they first crossed her mind. She's been moving on instinct with Brittany, not fear, and it feels so right.
The rising sun looked beautiful, and the roads mainly open. She saw no cars behind her and just two far ahead of her in the early morning hours, and so Santana rode the way she rode when she was young and thought she could never get hurt, that living to an old age was automatic, and so she could bend the rules. She leaned forward and caused her bike to ride only on it's front wheel and she rode that way for a moment. When she righted her bike and sat back in the seat she giggled like a young girl remembering what it felt like to play by her own rules. Soon she increased her speed until she hit a high speed, flying down the highway like nobody could touch her. Once she slowed to an acceptable speed she went into a traditional wheelie. She ended up doing a few more stunts before remembering, remembering Brittany. Before she put the past behind her, put childish things aside, and she sat back on her bike and rode safely the rest of the way. She rode the way that Wolf had taught her before she learned all of those stunts, in part to spite him, in part because she was a kid wild and free, and in part because when he worried about her it felt like she had a father. Catching her ride down the highway like that one morning is what inspired him in part to hand her over to Cougar. Catching her and having him doing something about it, something that he knew she wouldn't rebel against, felt like love to her. It felt like he was meeting her on her own terms. It felt good.
Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and even though Nani was coming home for the holidays she just felt like taking a long ride on her bike, and anywhere Nani was always felt like a good destination. She has a lot of great friends, and each one is special to her, but Nani is the safest place in the world to her. It's no slight on anyone else. Nani is home to her and she knows that she is home to Nani as well. So in this moment, as she moves crucial step by crucial step towards something more with Brittany she wants to sit face to face with Nani and talk about life.
Santana rode the rest of the way to Philadelphia feeling light and free on the open early morning roads, and by the time she reached her destination it was still very early. Not wanting to wake Nani or Kevin too early she decided she would instead make her way to a nearby park's parking lot. She found a space that looked perfect for the task she had in mind and she began to ride, doing stunt after stunt in the early morning calm. She did a wheelie while standing on the back of her bike and finally standing upright on her bike seat as it rode through the lot, her arms outstretched and feeling young and free, like the world couldn't touch her. She doesn't know how long she played around on her bike, but by the time she finished she realized that quite a few cars had parked where they could watch her. Crowds were never good for riders doing illegal stunts on their bikes and so Santana decided that would be enough for the day. Besides, she hadn't done anything like this in years. She's older now, more mature, and has much more to lose now, or at least she recognizes that now. She rode her bike over to a corner of the lot that looked down onto a path that ended near a little lake, a beautiful and peaceful view. She took off her helmet and breathed in the morning air, before sensing someone entering her space.
"Hi," the girl said shyly, another teenaged girl about the same age trailing right behind her.
"Hey," Santana replied.
"How'd you learn to ride like that?" the girl asked, as the other girl fell closely to her side. She noticed how the second girl's hand grazed the first girl's, and how the first girl's fingers responded to having her near. It made Santana smile. She had the feeling she was witnessing friends who were becoming more than friends, if it hasn't happened already. She remembered the feeling. She was about their age when she first acknowledged it as well. A hot girl on a fast bike would have caught her attention back then, too.
Hell, they still do.
"Practice, but never, ever try any stunts without first wearing a ton of protection and learning first to ride safely. Only practice in a safe area and never on the road where you can endanger other motorists. Obey the rules of the road. Ride responsibly." Santana had to smile to herself. She literally just finished doing 30 minutes of stunts down a mainly empty highway before she ended up in this parking lot so she could do even more. Still, she was endangering no one other than herself. She just needed this, one more ride on the edge, before she moved another step further into the next chapter.
"Where did you learn to ride a motorcycle?"
"Learned to ride from my dad, grew up on bikes. The stunts, picked them up from different places. If you're serious about it you get an old dirt bike and find a nice empty field to practice in. Most importantly you get gear. I got my gear before I got my bike, because my father taught me that I can't ever ride without gear, so what good is the bike if I didn't have the gear? Then you learn how to fall, because you will fall a lot learning stunts and sometimes it hurts, and you remember the pain, because it makes you a better rider, a safer rider. And even though your bike may be old you treat her like the most beautiful girl in the world, because once you learn, and you get your dream bike, you'll know how to treat her right. I guess that goes for anything in life...you find the beauty in it and you treat it with respect."
The girls smiled at Santana and then looked at one another, before the other girl spoke.
"You ever teach anyone?"
"No," Santana smiled, "but I have someone in mind, but not stunts. Riding is enough for most people. Found someone to treat like the most beautiful girl in the world, and I never want to see her get hurt."
The girls eyes lit up and they looked at one another with smiles on their faces. That moment pretty much confirmed for Santana who these two were to each other.
"You may discover that riding is enough, someone special holding on tight, and you want to keep both of you as safe as possible, because there's a lot to live for out here, even on the days you might not know it. You won't need the stunts, just the wind in your hair and an open road, either sharing it with someone or riding home to them." Santana smiled. "Yeah, find you a good club to ride with, you'll always have family with a good club, always have a home, and they will teach you what riding is really about."
"You belong to a club?" The first girl asked.
"Yeah, I do," Santana smiled.
"What are they called?" The second girl asked.
"The Tainted Angels," Santana replied, opening her leather jacket to show the girls the Tainted Angels t shirt she was wearing. "Look up your local chapter if you ever get into riding, they're the kind of ladies you want to ride with. Whatever club you choose, just make sure they're good people doing good things."
"Okay," the first girl said shyly.
"You said you were going to teach your girl to ride?" The second girl found the courage to ask and Santana smiled slightly. She was fishing for answers, and in that moment it reminded her of the way Sugar fishes for information.
"Yeah, I'd like to teach her if she's ever ready to learn."
The girls locked eyes gleefully and smiled.
"This is my girl, Amanda" the second one said, reaching for her hand and holding it proudly.
"Nice to meet you Amanda," Santana said, removing her leather glove and shaking the girl's hand who smiled shyly. Such adorable baby gays, Santana thought. "And you are?" Santana asked, reaching her hand out to the other girl.
"I'm Ashley," the girl answered.
"Nice to meet you Ashley. I'm Santana."
"Hi Santana," the girl smiled more confidently.
"If you guys ever get serious about riding look me up. I ride out of New York City. You walk into your local Tainted Angels chapter and you tell them you want to contact Snixx from the New York Angels. They'll put you in touch with me. If you decide to join up let me know. I'll make sure you get a good sponsor."
"A sponsor?" Amanda asked confused.
"Someone who teaches you how to be a member in good standing in a club. As a prospect you have to show discipline, follow rules, a bad prospect can have negative repercussions for a member. It's your first test in trust. Your sponsor takes a chance on you and you learn to follow them and let them guide you."
"Could you be our sponsor?" Ashley asked.
Santana chuckled. " You never know doll. You never know where this crazy ride called life will take you. I ride out of New York but if you guys really get serious and find that you like riding and want to join a club that would be a long time from now. Still, I plan on riding with the Angels until the day I can't ride again, and then I plan on hanging around the clubhouse and telling wild stories for the rest of my days. So if you two are serious, you won't ever have a hard time finding me," Santana smiled and the girls followed suit, seemingly happy with her answer.
"Well, I gotta go. How about this, do you want me to take a picture of you two on my bike, something to take home and remember the day your interest in riding grew?"
Both girls smiled excitedly and Santana set the ground rules.
"Okay, now that's my baby I'm trusting you with. I'm going to show you how to climb on, I'm going to use your phone to snap a picture and then I'm going to show you how to climb off. One in the front, one in the back, respect my ride."
"Okay," they both answered excitedly and Santana smiled. They each watched carefully as Santana showed them how to get off and then on the bike without putting their feet where they shouldn't be. Ashley climbed on and Amanda climbed on behind her, wrapping her arms around the girl's waist. Santana chuckled at how seriously cool Ashley was trying to look holding on as Amanda smiled behind her. Once Santana was sure they were steady she stepped back and snapped the picture. She checked to see if it was good before she handed Amanda back her phone.
"Okay ladies, that should do it." Santana said as the girls carefully climbed off her bike under Santana's careful direction. "You two enjoy your day. It was nice chatting with you."
"Thanks, nice chatting with you, too," the girls said as Santana put on her helmet and glove.
"See you on the road ladies. Remember safety and respect on the road. The Angels don't ride with squids."
"Squids?" Amanda asked.
"People who don't ride safely or wear proper gear. Even your passenger has to be safe. Get matching brain buckets," Santana said, tapping her helmet so they would know what the term means. Most of all you do it because you love it. Not because you think it's cool or sexy, but because you love it. If it's not for you it's not for you, you'll find your thing that moves you in life. Just have fun along the way. Enjoy the ride man, even if it's not on the back of a bike."
The girls shook their heads in acknowledgment and stood back as Santana started her bike. She left the lot without doing any more stunts. It was out of her system now. She smiled as she rode to Nani's house. Nothing is a coincidence.
Running into those young girls, just starting out, how fresh and new that love must feel. Santana longed to feel that way again. She had been taught too many cruel lessons about love and trust but somehow now she feels that young love again. She feels young and new and fresh and ready to explore it all with Brittany, but this time with a knowledge that will hopefully sustain them. Maybe Brittany being a baby gay herself has her feeling some of this excitement. Maybe it's the fact that Thanksgiving is just around the corner and Brittany will meet her family. Maybe it's the way Santana has plans for the future that include someone else for longer than just a few nights.
Everyone had been asking Santana to bring Brittany around but Thanksgiving is just easier. She's been working a lot lately in preparation for Christmas and in order to make her deal with Sunshine and Lance come to fruition. She wanted to truly show her appreciation for all they have done for her. Yes, all of what Sunshine had said was true. Santana had taken the young woman under her wing because she was good friends with her own prospect and so she guided her right alongside Peaches even though Sunshine had her own sponsor, and when she and Lance got married and Sunshine asked about hiring some of the performers from the club she volunteered her services for free and she enlisted Sam and Mercedes. What Sunshine didn't learn until much later when Peaches spilled the beans is that Santana had arranged for a weekend in her mother's timeshare for the couple and covered Mercedes' shift as well in exchange for their performing at the wedding. Ever since then Sunshine truly saw Santana as her big sister, and she truly learned from her what being a member of the Tainted Angels meant.
And Sunshine showed her that Santana had taught her well, when she learned of Santana's problem and went straight home to talk to her husband. She asked him if he could help her and he said that he could. The rest was history. So even though Santana claims she asked Lance for two favors that's not how Sunshine sees it. She asked for one favor, and was given one gift by her. She was happy to give her another, but she knew that Snixx would insist on doing something in return, just as she had done the first time. So a deal was made, and her husband went straight to work the next day. He got on the phone with Santana and got as many details as he needed and he went to work. Three days later Santana got a call from Sunshine who told her everything was done. She put her husband on the phone and he said he would watch for it as diligently as he watches for Santana and Dani's video. Santana thanked the couple and instantly picked up the phone to call Brittany.
"Hey doll."
"Hey honey," Brittany smiled.
"Got time to have dinner at the club with me tonight? Not quite our first real date but no need to dress up this time. Come by, Rachel, Quinn, Finn and Kurt are performing tonight. I'll bring out your dinner and we'll sit and talk for a while."
"It'll be a late dinner, I have my art class tonight."
"I know and if you'll be too tired you don't have to come."
"Of course I want to see you. I'll never be too tired for that."
"Great, you don't have to stay until the end. When you get there I'll feed you and put you in a cab afterwards. Just want to see you."
"Okay," Brittany smiled.
"Great, looking forward to it doll. See you tonight."
"See you tonight honey."
That night Santana and Brittany met for dinner as they did as often as they could since they had their first night together. Santana just wanted to see the look in Brittany's beautiful eyes when she told her that the pictures had been buried deep on the web. She wanted to give her this gift in person.
As usual, when Brittany showed up Santana took her break and they sat for dinner. The two chatted about their day for a short while before Santana finally changed the topic to the reason she wanted to talk to her that night.
"So baby, I have good news for you..." Santana paused and smiled.
"What is it, honey?"
"My friend's husband...he took care of that situation for you. Go home and search all you want, you won't find them. Most people will never be able to find them again."
A look of skeptical relief flashed over Brittany's face. She believed it, she wanted to believe it, but it couldn't be this easy.
"What happens if they appear again?"
"Then he finds it and buries it again. Not gonna lie, someone, somewhere may have saved our video, may have saved your pictures, but unless they upload them again they remain in someone's fantasy collection for however long they choose to keep it, and we have no control over that, but the images can never be sold without us having the ability to sue someone for all they have. If they are simply reposted he will get rid of them. I don't know how he does it but he does, and I've had peace in the 2 or so years since he removed my images. I will never forget, but he's helping the world forget them, and it's legit Britt. As of today you get a little more of your peace back. You get a little more of your life back. Embrace it, doll. Enjoy it."
Brittany sighed deeply and offered Santana a hesitant but thankful smile.
"Thank you Santana. None of this would have happened without you."
"And none of the joy I'm feeling right now could have ever happened without you."
"I love you Santana."
"I love you too Brittany. I can't wait to introduce you to my family at Thanksgiving. They are so anxious to meet you. Even my abuela is coming. It's gonna be so much fun."
"I'm sure it will be," Brittany smiled nervously.
"Are you worried about meeting them?" Santana asked, reaching across the table to take Brittany's hand.
"No, not really. Just one of those hang ups you spoke to me about that show up from time to time. I know they won't care or even know, but I always have a "my vagina is on the internet" moment of panic when I really want someone to like me."
"First of all awwwww, you want my family to like you. You've got nothing to worry about, doll. They will love you. Nani is the hardest to please and she handed over her favorite cousin to you for French toast."
Brittany laughed.
"Besides, you're talking to the woman who fucked a girl 8 different ways in 4k for all the world to see. After dealing with that video they would be totally unimpressed at your idea of a scandal."
Brittany laughed which always made Santana smile.
Always
So the two finished their dinner, and as the night went on Brittany finally began to feel as if her nightmare could be ending. By the end of the night she felt lighter, and Santana did something for the first time since they had become official...she gave Brittany her key and asked her to wait for her until she made it home that night.
That was a huge move for Santana. She did not bring just any woman home, and she certainly didn't hand any woman her keys. But this was Brittany, and everyone already knew that this was different. Santana knew it was different, she just didn't realize how different.
Santana pulled up in front of Nani's place and parked her bike. She rang the bell and tall, muscular man answered.
"Santana!" the man said excitedly, pulling Santana into a hug and nearly dragging her through the door.
"Ugh, put on a shirt if you're gonna go slamming my face into your chest you caveman."
"I forgot, all of this awesome masculinity goes unappreciated by you."
"Well stop forgetting, you're making me even gayer, which isn't a bad thing but I'm trying to behave myself these days."
"Heard you had a girlfriend."
"Coulda had a girlfriend anytime I wanted. You say that as if it's a miracle."
"The miracle is that you want a girlfriend. I thought you were a player for life."
"Never been a player, just didn't find the right one."
"And this one is..."
"Will you let her in the door. She did not come here to talk to you about her love life. She came here to talk to me about her love life." Nani said, making her way to the front door and closing it behind Santana. "He couldn't wait to see you. He saw the video of you and Brittany from Halloween."
"Damn girl, you two looked good together."
"I make anybody look good." Santana smirked. "But Brittany doesn't need my help."
"Why didn't you bring her today?" Kevin asked.
"She has a life. You'll meet her at Thanksgiving. My mother is already being a pain in the ass. You think I'm bringing her to meet you so I can have more of that noise in my life?"
Kevin laughed as Nani moved him aside so she could hug her cousin.
"You're here early Simon. You must have missed me," Nani smiled.
"Was hoping we would have some time to really hang out. There was a lot going on in New York while you were there, I figured I could have more time with you if I came out here."
"Yeah, let me take you to lunch." Nani said.
"Sounds good. Did you guys have breakfast yet?"
"Not yet, wanna join us?"
"Yeah, Brittany sent your favorite."
"Get out of here!" Nani yelled and Santana laughed.
"She even made you bacon...crispy of course."
"She can have you Santana, I mean it. You break up with that girl and I will punch you in your face."
Santana laughed. "I think I'm safe. I'm not letting her go that easy."
"Awwwww," Kevin said. " Look at you Snixx!"
"Callate Kevin," Santana said.
"Why don't you take the bag in the kitchen and I'll be right in," Nani said, handing the bag to Kevin.
"Okay, Okay, I can take a hint." Kevin said, taking the bag and heading into the kitchen.
"Finally," Santana said and Nani smiled, rolling her eyes.
"I want my breakfast, and then I'll get rid of Kevin so we can talk. Want to know what made you ride all the way out here so shortly after we just saw each other. I know you two must be good...you look happy."
"We're good," Santana smiled.
"You better be... because... french toast..."
"If we weren't it would just give you and Lex a chance to go on another date," Santana smirked.
"How's my baby?" Nani smiled.
"She's good. She came by the club about a week ago when 'Cedes and I were performing."
"Good. We actually talked on the phone for like an hour when I first got back home. Glad she doesn't feel the need to hide now that you have a girl. Is Brittany okay with it?"
"Yeah. Lex was on a date, actually. She met up with the girl she had to leave behind on Halloween night when she took me home with her. She came by the table and said hello. She and Brittany even hugged. Brittany thanked her for watching after me that night. She has no idea how much Lex looked out for me, because I was throwing this thang at her like I pitched for the New York Yankees but she wouldn't catch it," Santana laughed.
"That's a good friend," Nani smiled.
"That's a girl with a telephone full of hot girl's numbers," Santana laughed.
"That too," Nani smiled. "Look, let's eat, I'm hungry."
Santana laughed as Nani shoved her towards the bathroom to wash her hands and she went towards the kitchen. When she came back Nani was in the kitchen unwrapping her food and getting some plates out.
"Brittany gave me specific reheating instructions. She told me not to put that food in the microwave, heat it up in the oven. Let me do it."
"Awwww, look at you learning to take instructions from a woman."
"Trust me, she's pretty good at taking instructions from me too," Santana wiggled her eyebrows and Nani laughed.
"You two have been going at it like crazy huh?"
"Oddly Pu, no, we haven't."
"What's wrong, Simon?"
"Nothing, it's just...weird."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's me. I just don't want to do with her what I did with the rest of them, fall into this hot passionate thing that just fizzles out. When we're together that way I feel so many different things flooding in, and it's different Pu...really different. Like with my other girls I could have sex with them and think about nothing afterwards. With Brittany, all I do is think. I think about everything." Santana paused. "Let's just eat, feed Kevin first before he starts running through walls like the Kool aid guy to get to whatever smells good in the kitchen. You and I can talk once Kevin leaves to meet up with the guys."
"Sounds good. You're okay though, right?"
"I'm okay, Pu, really."
Santana warmed the food to Brittany's specifications and then they all sat down to eat.
"Oh my gosh this french toast is so good!" Kevin said, closing his eyes and savoring the meal. "Nani hasn't been able to stop talking about it since she first had it."
Santana smiled proudly. "I'll let her know that you enjoyed it."
The three sat and chatted over breakfast and afterwards Kevin cleaned up the kitchen so that Santana and Nani could talk. The two chatted for a while about their upcoming Thanksgiving plans and work and soon Kevin had to leave to meet up with the guys to play basketball. It was only then did the cousins dive into deeper conversations.
"What's going on, Simon?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. What's troubling you? What do you mean you haven't been going at it like crazy? That doesn't sound like you. Is it Brittany?"
"No, it's nothing bad. I mean, we've only been a couple for two weeks..."
"New couples usually..."
"Not all new couples..."
"You usually..."
"Yeah, but I've never been with Brittany before."
"I mean the sex can't be that bad. Teach her damnit. She's not your first baby gay..."
"That's not it," Santana sighed. "She's a natural."
"So what is it, spill it damnit!"
"I'm not sure what it is. We've only had sex twice since that first time."
"What?"
"Yeah, and both times were amazing. I love her, Pu. I mean, the feelings I feel when I'm with her are overwhelming. Honestly speaking I can't process them right now."
"Okay."
"Don't get me wrong, I'm not running. I'm going to figure it out, but what I feel with her I didn't even feel with Dani and I fucked on camera for Dani. I thought I would do anything for her, and now it doesn't even feel like what I had with her was the real deal..."
"It was, Simon, for the person you were then. You were just younger. You're older and wiser now. You understand your needs better now. You understand saying 'no' to something you really don't want to do doesn't mean that you don't love the other person. You understand that they wouldn't want you to do things that make you uncomfortable. You know what you want now, and what someone who loves you should give you."
"Yeah"
"Does Brittany have a problem with your sex drive?"
"Oh there's nothing wrong with my sex drive. And we are really affectionate with one another. We make out and cuddle and we've even stayed over each other's place but it just doesn't end in sex as often as I thought it would, and it's not because of her."
"Have you spoken to her about it?"
"Only enough to tell her that I'm not trying to base this relationship on sex like so many of my past relationships have revolved around. That my past with my father did a number on me, and that I'm moving at my own speed. She had heard it all before, and she told me to feel comfortable moving forward however I see fit."
"Awwwww"
"Yeah, she's kind of fantastic. That, and she said she hasn't gotten any in a long time before me, so three times and one night of intimate contact over the course of a few weeks ain't that bad."
Both women laughed.
"I get it Simon. I know how these dads of ours did a number on us."
Santana looked at Nani with furrowed brows.
"Everything okay, Pu?"
"Yeah, Simon, everything is okay," Nani said through a smile that wasn't totally genuine.
"Pu..."
"Don't Santana..."
"No, enough of Brittany and I for a moment. Any time you bring up Marcel the same question always comes to mind."
"I love Kevin, Santana."
"I know you do, but he just doesn't excite you, Pu. He's nothing like you."
"Opposites attract."
"I know Pu, but you're young. You don't have to settle..."
"Santana, he's a solid guy, comes from a good two parent home, anything I ask of him I never have to ask twice. His brothers have successful relationships where they aren't hoeing around on their girlfriends. He came from a home with good examples. He's handsome and he's gotten much better in bed, not that he was bad before but now he knows exactly what I like and he was considerate enough to ask what I liked before I had to even tell him. He cooks for me, massages me when I'm tired, takes me on vacation and he provides for me. He trusts me fully and never gets jealous, even if he catches guys looking at me. He's too good to be true. I need stability more than excitement, Simon."
Santana sighed, "I understand Nani, and I'm not telling you to let him go. I know the perfect person doesn't exist and we pick and choose what we can live without sometimes, but sometimes we can have it all Pu. You don't want a lifetime of watching every sport possible and celebrating every game day. That's his passion, not yours. You have never given a shit about sports other than how cute the uniforms are and how sexy the guys are."
Nani laughed gently.
"Pu, you're still young, and I know Marcel fucked up but he was nothing like Wolf. Marcel is a good man that made a horrible mistake. He broke it off to try and save his family. I don't blame Aunt Gladys one bit for not wanting to deal with someone who broke her heart that way. I couldn't imagine her watching him raise a baby with someone else and coming home to you two. I know what it did to you two, but at least Aunt Gladys had many years where she was actually very happy with Marcel. Anybody can fuck up, and then you start a family and have this person in your life forever and all you've ever been was content. I want to see you happy, Pu. I want to see your heart skip a beat when he enters a room. I want you not to live your life trying to find someone who won't fuck up. People fuck up. People cheat, especially men but women do too. At least be with someone you actually enjoy the ride with, Nani. You're young and hot. You are independent and gainfully employed. You're smart and funny as hell and an all around bad ass boss. The number of dudes and chicks that have asked me to hook them up with you is absolutely annoying. Live your best life, Nani. You're so fucking domesticated with him."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"No, it's not, if that's where you are in life then go for it, but I'm not convinced that you chose him because you love him passionately. I think you chose him because you're trying to play the odds that he won't turn out to be a Marcel or even worse, a Wolf."
"He's a good man."
"He's a really good man, Pu, I know."
"Both of our mothers..."
"Yeah Pu...both of our dads were cheaters."
"At least your father just likes meaningless pussy. My father had a mistress and got another woman pregnant then stayed with her when my mom wouldn't take him back and just fell right into a new family."
"You are his world, Pu, still."
"I'm half his world, gotta share him with his bastard child, not that I mind now that he's not trying to make me treat him like he's my sibling or something."
"Pu, maybe you and Marcel finally have to deal with things instead of sweeping them under the rug for the sake of peace."
"Like you're dealing with Wolf?"
"Marcel is nothing like Wolf. Both may have been shitty husbands in the end but you have a great dad."
"Santana, as a woman can you really separate the two? At some point the worlds collide. You learn how to be treated from your dad, the first man in your life. The first man in my life didn't give enough of a shit about me to treat the most important woman in my life with respect. I could see if they were having problems. He simply got bored and didn't feel like talking to his wife to see if things could change."
"Do you hear what you just said, Pu?"
"I would never get bored and cheat on Kevin."
"I know you wouldn't, Pu. You would just stay bored and unfulfilled, right, because it's the right thing to do? Or maybe the right thing to do is to explore now when it's just you and him. Set him free, and if you're meant to be, you'll find each other again. You met so young, Pu. Who said you have to decide what you want at such a young age? Who says we even know what we want at that age? It's okay if we don't know. You were 23 years old when you met him, Pu. You hadn't even begun to live. You hadn't even explored yourself fully yet. He was ready to settle down, and you did just that, you settled. You don't have to decide now Pu, but if you feel like you're missing something in life decide what's right for you, and I'll be by your side and I will understand you even if nobody else in the world does. I'm team Nani forever, against anybody on this planet I'm team Nani."
"I know Simon."
"I love Kevin. I want the best for him too. He deserves a woman who isn't just going through the motions with him. You both deserve the best, but I'm only worried about you, because I know you'll do your best to try and insure that he never senses the lie you'll be living with, that he just doesn't rock your world."
"If you go looking for excitement you may find more than you bargain for..."
"You and I both know that excitement and dysfunction are two different things. Besides, excitement is the wrong word. You need a man you're passionate about, who stimulates you in every way."
"I'm passionate about Kevin."
"You're passionate about making the relationship work, there's a difference."
"I'll sit with myself and figure it out Simon, but I'm okay. I'm happy, you know that don't you?"
"You're content and secure, and I know that brings a level of happiness. You're comfortable."
"Is that a problem?"
"Not if that's all you want."
"It's all I need."
"If you say so, Pu."
Santana and Nani continued to chat. Later they shopped and Santana helped Nani prepare dinner for Kevin and snacks for the guys when they came back to watch the game. After they finished Santana and Nani hung out for a while and then Santana asked Nani to come with her to pick up some cheesesteaks before she headed back to New York.
"We could have picked them up when we were shopping."
"Naw, I wanna take my bike."
"What's wrong with my car?"
"Not a thing, cager, but wouldn't the open road feel good on a beautiful day like this?"
*(A cager is a term for people who ride in cars or "cages". Can be derogatory but of course in this instance it's just in jest).*
"It would"
"So let's ride."
Nani jumped on the back of Santana's bike and the pair rode off towards the highway. Nani did indeed enjoy riding with Santana on her bike sometimes. Wolf even took Nani out with them a few times when he was teaching Santana to ride and so Nani is quite comfortable with bikes. Soon Santana broke the silence.
"Got time for a detour?"
"Yeah"
Santana smiled and rode back to the same parking lot she was at that morning. She figured they would get there just in time to watch the sun set.
The ladies pulled into the lot and Santana drove up to the spot she had watched the scenery from that morning. Both ladies hopped off the bike and walked a short way to a bench.
"Came here this morning, felt like doing a few tricks on my bike. Haven't done it in a while, wanted to make sure I still had it." Santana smiled.
"Do you?" Nani asked with a similar smile on her face.
"I do," Santana smirked. "Too old for that shit now."
"Too wise for that shit now" Nani replied and they both laughed. "You just did it to impress the ladies."
"Not always, but it was a pretty nice perk. Still works, too. Ran into two baby gays and now they are totally convinced they need to learn how to ride." Santana chuckled and Nani did as well.
"Why'd you bring me here, Simon?"
"Just wanted to sit with you, Pu. You take care of everybody. Just want you to know I'm here."
"I know. There's never been a day that I didn't know."
"And I don't want you to think that I don't support you and Kevin. I fucking love Kevin, he's awesome. I just don't want you to make yourself love someone more than you actually do so that you don't suffer the same fate our moms did. I want you to listen to your heart. I think you want the dream so much that you can't even hear it anymore."
Nani sighed. "Santana, I saw what our moms went through, both of us have, and I can't tolerate it. I want a family, I want kids, and I never want them to see shit like we saw, the shit our moms tried to hide but couldn't."
"I know, Pu. Wolf cheated a hundred times and tried to gaslight my mom into believing she was crazy because she had no proof. She was young and she had me and she wanted to believe him but she never really did. She said it did a number on her, it made her question herself. Maybe he was really out on a ride. Maybe that wasn't him her friend saw ride past with a woman on his bike. Maybe, maybe, maybe...until finally she saw it with her own eyes and he begged and pleaded and promised to never do it again, but she said she felt like a prison guard after that...always watching his movements and never believing him. Finally she just said her goodbyes and it broke my heart. That was my papi, but she was right. She never outright caught him again but the patterns, the rides, the late nights, the fucking shadiness, she just couldn't trust him. He stole her peace. Nobody wants that."
"Nobody wants what my father did, either. Big, upstanding man, had an entire girlfriend that he had a two year relationship with before she confronted my mother because she was pregnant. Then they divorce and he stays with her but doesn't marry her because my mom was his one true love he tells me, but he stays and raises his son with her, has a life with her, will share grandkids with her. What's worse, a string of one night stands or giving a woman your time, energy, financial support and heart and taking affection away from your wife. We're cool, but he stopped being a good dad to me the day I discovered who he really was. I don't want that, Santana. I don't want that for my kids. Sometimes I think maybe I just won't have any. Maybe I'll just teach my kids at school and they will all continue to be my babies."
"You can't think like that, Pu. Parents are never perfect but the kids turn out alright if the parents support them, are there for them, make sure their needs are taken care of. Your kids will be alright, no matter who you choose to raise them with, because I know you would choose someone with similar values to your own, just like your mom did. There are no guarantees that the relationship won't go bad, but as long as they can remain a good and present father, like Marcel did no matter how hard you tried to push him away in the beginning, well then they will be ok. You turned out perfect, Pu."
"I'm far from perfect."
"You're perfect to me, Pu."
Nani smiled softly and Santana slipped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in.
"Pu, Marcel and Aunt Gladys were also young when they met. I know they loved each other like crazy, but sometimes people grow, especially when they are young, and they grow apart. He just wasn't the same man your mother married by the time they divorced, and like a lot of people he was a coward about it and couldn't admit that he was changing and he didn't know how to deal with the ways in which your mother was changing as well. At the core he still loved her, and he loved his family...he loved you, but they just couldn't survive the growing pains, because they weren't open and honest with each other. You and Kevin have probably already changed in the time since you've met, and will continue to do so. Maybe you'll survive that, but will you both be happy? I hope so, Pu, but if you're already feeling something less than you felt in the beginning, please don't feel like the bad guy for acknowledging that."
Nani sat quietly for a while before speaking.
"I just gotta figure some things out, Simon, but in the meantime I'm ok. Am I getting the most out of my life...my youth? I don't know. Can I spend the rest of my life with someone who is like a best friend.. keeping myself busy while he has yet another weekend of get togethers over any and every fucking sport known to man...I don't know. Am I glad he finally got the hint and realized I can only sit through so much of that shit just to be near him but I'm really not interested in learning the rules of whatever game he's watching...abso fucking lutley. We each have our own interests, but sports is his obsession. Hanging with the guys on the weekends in front of that obnoxiously huge tv I tolerate in my living room is his passion. Yeah, he takes me out to dinner and spends time with me and it's nice, but that crackle, that thing that I felt in the beginning with him, I wonder if he's lost it too."
"Ask him Nani. I don't think he has. I see the way he looks at you, but maybe he needs a wake up call before he loses you. Figure out what you need from him and let him know. Ask him what he needs from you. If you two can give one another that you'll both be happier. If not, you have some choices to make."
"Yeah," Nani sighed.
"Yeah," Santana replied, kissing Nani on top of her head. "And Pu, you gotta be honest with the men in your life. Pretending that you and your dad recovered and that everything is perfect allows him to believe you're past the hurt. Pretending everything is okay with Kevin doesn't make it okay. You don't pretend with anyone else, why pretend with them?"
"Daddy issues," Nani said, rolling her eyes.
"I can relate," Santana said, squeezing Nani's hand.
They sat that way for a while watching the sun set. Then they got back on Santana's bike and picked up the cheesesteaks before Santana dropped Nani off back home. When they arrived Kevin and the guys were immersed in the game.
"Hey babe, missed you." Kevin said when Nani walked through the door, standing and pulling her into a kiss.
"Missed you too baby," Nani replied, but Santana knew it wasn't true.
"Why don't you come join us? Thanks for the snacks. My girl is the best." Kevin looked at Nani beaming. "So is her cousin. Thanks for helping Nani out today Santana." Kevin said and Santana just winked at him in acknowledgement.
"San is leaving soon, just gonna say our goodbyes then I have a few things to get ready for work on Monday. You guys enjoy."
"Okay baby. If you change your mind..." Kevin smiled hopefully.
"Then I'll let you know," Nani answered. Everybody there knew that she wouldn't change her mind.
Kevin grabbed Santana into a big hug. "See you soon, little cousin."
"See you soon, you big lug." Santana smiled. He planted a kiss on her cheek. "Ride safely."
"You know I will."
Kevin rejoined his visitors and Nani spoke to her at the door.
"See you soon, Simon. Don't be afraid of embracing something new."
"And you don't be afraid of letting go of something old."
"Deal"
"Deal" Santana smiled, hugging Nani and kissing her on the cheek.
"No stunts on the way home, Simon."
"You have my word, Pu."
After their goodbyes Santana hit the road. She rode peacefully home. She'd be stopping by the clubhouse the next day. She was ready to pay her debt to Sunshine and Lance.
Santana arrived back in the city and decided to give Brittany a call.
"Hello," Brittany answered with a smile.
"Hey beautiful."
"How was your trip?"
"Awesome, as usual. Nani and Kevin thank you for the breakfast. Kevin went crazy for your french toast."
"Glad they enjoyed it." Brittany smiled.
"Can I repay you with a delicious, greasy dinner?"
Brittany smiled, "You may. What did you have in mind?"
"How about cheesesteaks for two?"
"Sounds deliciously dangerous," Brittany smiled.
"Absolutely no good for you but we could always figure out a way to work it off." Santana smiled.
"I'm sure that we could," Brittany replied. "So when should I expect you?"
"About 15 minutes."
"I can't wait," Brittany smiled.
Santana arrived at Brittany's as planned, and was greeted at the door with a warm hug and a soft kiss.
"Hey doll. Missed you today."
"Missed you too, Santana"
"How was cooking class?"
"It was great. Brought you home a plate."
"Awww, so sweet. Did I ruin your dinner surprise?"
"Oh no. I wasn't sure I'd be seeing you tonight so I had intended to give it to you for lunch tomorrow."
"I'll have it for dinner if there's no dairy involved. The cheesesteaks were an excuse, just wanted to see you. I brought a salad as well just in case."
"Deal, I still want to know what your obsession is with cheesesteaks, though."
Santana laughed. "When Pu moved to Philly we said that we were going to find the best cheesesteak in Philly. We had no idea at the time that there were like a million places that claimed to have the best cheesesteak in Philly. So every time I visit we try a new place."
"Any clear winner yet?"
"Nope, because then we'd have to stop eating cheesesteaks. We keep a scorecard, though."
Brittany laughed.
"Nani doesn't really eat them much without me, if at all. Sometimes she may have a piece of Kevin's because he sometimes picks them up on gamedays but she refuses to try one from somewhere we've never gone before without me. So since we don't visit as much as we used to then yeah, the challenge is taking years," Santana laughed. "Then of course there was the summer we got distracted by the water ice challenge."
"Water ice?"
"Another Philly staple. They're basically like what we call Italian ices in New York."
"I cook a lot so I haven't had the pleasure of chasing down New York's best pizza. I always wonder about that, since every pizza shop has a sign that says 'New York's best pizza' here."
Santana laughed. "Yeah, I have some contenders but there's a lot of good pizza in New York. If you really want to do an interesting New York food challenge you have to do a chopped cheese challenge or a bacon egg and cheese on a roll challenge. If you buy it from anywhere other than a New York City bodega it doesn't count, and when you order a bacon, egg and cheese it's one word if you're a true New Yorker, baconeggandcheese. If you say it any other way they won't make it right." Santana stated seriously.
Brittany laughed.
"Don't worry Ohio, I got you. We'll have a chopped cheese one day, which is kinda cheesesteak like, and I'll treat you to a coco helado for dessert."
"Ooooh, I know what coco helado is. I see the carts all the time but haven't tried one."
"Why not?"
"It's just an Italian ice isn't it?"
Santana gasped and clutched her imaginary pearls. "They're a New York City institution. Listen, we're too hot to lose our figures on a hundred different food challenges, but next summer, you and me, coco helado, my treat. We'll skip all of the food since I like your cooking better anyway," Santana smiled.
"Deal" Brittany smiled.
"Deal," Santana winked.
Santana went to freshen up then she met Brittany in the kitchen where they shared their meal.
"What do you think?" Santana asked.
"It's pretty good."
"Yeah? I'll have mine after I perform tomorrow for dinner. Nani and I will compare notes later and discuss our rankings."
Brittany laughed, "I love how close you two are. It's really special. I wish I had that with someone."
"You get to have that with me," Santana smiled.
"I get to have so much more with you," Brittany smiled. "Wanna stay the night?"
"You know I do," Santana smiled. "Gotta leave early in the morning to go settle up things with Sunshine and Lance. Told them to meet me at 10. Then I need to swing by my place and get ready for work tomorrow night. I really hope you come by."
"Where else would I be?"
Santana smiled softly as the two finished their meal, Santana telling Brittany about her visit with Nani and Brittany telling Santana about the recipes she wants to try out since she had been inspired by her cooking class that day. Santana complimented her on the meal she had prepared in class and she couldn't help but notice how Brittany always seems to remember to not feed her any dairy before she performs. The little things. The little things that tell Santana she cares.
They had an ease about them, the two of them together. The heat between them as strong as it had been since the day they met, and yet both were content with the pace at which they were moving. Brittany wonders if she wants Santana so much, wants to be near her so much, because they don't answer their bodies each time they call out to one another. She knows that's not true, because she felt the same way before they were together. She felt the same way after Albany. She felt the same way after they finally admitted what they meant to one another. She thinks she'll always feel this way because it's Santana, and Santana is so much more than she appears to be from the outside looking in.
Santana doesn't wonder the same thing. She knows, knows that Brittany is a fine wine. She needs to be sipped and savored, not gulped and taken in fast in an effort to immediately get the intoxicating effects of what she does to her. Santana is content to be near her, to hold her, to kiss her softly. To feel the way her heart pounds in her chest so hard she think she's having a medical emergency. She can't remember the last time she felt such a rush from just kissing a woman. Maybe it was the first time she'd ever kissed a woman when she last felt this way. Maybe this is an indication that Brittany is another first for her. This love looks so different than her last one. She already knows that their souls are somehow connected in a way she's never been connected to a woman before. Fear isn't the word. Protective. She's protective of this love she has for Brittany.
Santana has a long day tomorrow, an important day, and so they retire to bed early. Brittany doesn't know how important it is. She doesn't know how important Santana's ride out to Nani's was, but she will. Soon, she will know, and in turn she will know what she has come to mean to Santana in a whole new way.
It was what has become a typical night when they stay with one another, the two of them just sharing space...watching tv or listening to music, talking about life or nothing at all. Then they retire to bed, and only twice so far has it evolved into sex. Mainly it's just the comfort of having someone to hold close, to feel their warmth, to find sanctuary in. It was just the type of night Santana needed before her Sunday began.
The next morning Santana awoke and decided to make Brittany breakfast. It's not the first time she has cooked for her, mainly breakfast or lunch. Soon she will make her a full romantic dinner, much like the one Brittany had made them when they hashed out their differences and started their journey together. After breakfast Santana got ready and kissed Brittany at the door with the promise they would see one another that night. Santana was excited to start the day, a new chapter in her life, something she hasn't discussed with anyone but something that feels so right.
She rode slowly and peacefully to the clubhouse. She was early but she wanted time to greet everyone and shine up her bike. She greeted everyone and then went out back to shine her bike to perfection. Then she waited, chatting with Cougar and the others, until finally Sunshine and Lance made their appearance.
"Hey Snixx," Sunshine greeted her with a big smile and a bigger hug.
"Hey Sunshine, hey Lance." Santana said, hugging her friend's husband. "You guys excited to see what I got for you?" Santana smiled.
"Yes!" Lance exclaimed.
"Come on out back," Santana said. The couple followed excitedly behind her.
Once outside Santana stopped and smiled. "There she is," Santana said.
Both just looked at her confused.
"Snixx," Sunshine gasped, "Are you talking about your bike?"
"Now it's Lance's bike," Santana replied.
"Snixx, we can't..." Sunshine started.
"No doll, you can and you will. You two have done a lot for Brittany and I, and I need the cash. My crotch rocket days are over. My lady feels more comfortable on a hog, and I feel happier when she's riding behind me, and so it's time for me to put the money into another bike. It's that simple. I've been saving and with the cash you gave me it puts me that much closer to my new dream bike."
"But Snixx, what are you gonna ride until you get your bike?" Lance asked.
"The subway, like every other New Yorker," Santana replied.
"No Snixx, absolutely not. You ride her until you get your new bike, then you turn it over to Lance. We didn't pay you nearly as much as your bike is worth. What we gave you would barely get a base model in that condition, that's if you put some work into it."
"Sunshine, unless you object to the bike and are not satisfied with it, consider our transaction complete. I'll have my bike by Christmas..."
"That's more than a month away..." Lance interjected.
"I love that bike, but I love you guys too. I want her to go to good people, be in good hands, and this way I get to see her enjoyed the way she's meant to be enjoyed. One day I'll hopefully be blessed enough to have both a hog and a crotch rocket. Until that day, I'll settle for the one that let's me ride with Legs."
Sunshine looked at her stunned. "Snixx..."
"Yeah, I know. Giving up my ride for a woman...not Snixx, right?" Santana chuckled. "For a long time that bike was an important part of me, but now I have a partner that's even more important. Celebrate that with me by taking good care of your new bike. You have any problems, need any help with her, nobody knows her like I do, just come to me and I'll see what I can do for you. Meanwhile, just give her a good home."
Both Sunshine and Lance shook their heads in agreement.
"Good," Santana said, tossing Lance the keys. "So Lance, do you like it?"
"It's more than I could have ever expected."
"We can give you some more on it, Snixx, little by little. She's gotta be worth at least $1500 more than we gave you..."
"What you gave us is worth a hell of a lot more than $1500. I finally feel like between this and the wedding that I've given you something as valuable to you as what you gave to us. Thank you. Be safe and see you on the road soon."
Santana kissed Sunshine on the cheek and then did the same to Lance. She handed Lance the title to the bike and shook his hand to seal the deal. Then she grabbed her backpack that she threw her helmets and license plate in and walked back into the clubhouse.
Cougar saw her heading out and she stopped to say goodbye to the woman.
"Hey Cougar, heading out."
"Something going on with your bike?"
"Don't have a bike, I sold it to Sunshine's man."
Cougar almost gasped. "Snixx, what's going on?"
"Nothing Cougar, needed the bread."
"If you needed cash you could have come to me..."
"Need to do this on my own."
"Snixx, come back to the office and sit with me for a minute."
"I'm good Cougar, I promise."
"Come sit with me."
Santana couldn't say no to the woman, she followed her to the back office.
"Snixx," Cougar started, "you love that bike. Let me help you."
"Cougar, nothing is wrong. This wasn't a spur of the moment or desperate decision. I'm saving up for a hog."
"You want a hog?" Cougar asked perplexed.
"Never had a problem with hogs, grew up on them as you know. My bike...that bike..." Santana corrected herself, "it represents a different time and space for me. I have a lady now..." Santana smiled slyly and Cougar's eyes lit up. She smiled a bright smile.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Legs and I..."
"Hell yeah, Snixx. About damn time."
"About damn time. And yeah, she never said anything but she's kind of more comfortable on Wolf's hog, and you know that's not happening again, so it was time for me to grow up and get myself something suitable for my lady. I want her out there with me, Cougar. The road feels more like home when she's with me."
Cougar smiled. She almost wanted to cry. Santana was like the kid she never had. Wolf had personally handed Santana over to her. She had seen her grow up, and this was another huge step in the right direction.
"How long you gonna be off the road?"
"Been working my ass off these past couple of weeks Cougar, picking up every gig I can. Haven't had as much time with that lady of mine as I would like, but man it's gonna be worth it when she sees me ride up on that hog and I give her the gear I'm gonna buy for her. It's gonna feel real then, because sometimes it doesn't feel real yet, Cougar."
"It's as real as you want it to be, Snixx."
"Yeah, so I'm hoping I can get something right around Christmas time, for sure before the New Year. Thanksgiving is two weeks away and the holiday season is the worst time to shop around..."
"I can keep an eye open, put a word out for you..."
"Need to do this on my own, Cougar, but if you want to support me I'll be working at the club a lot these next few weeks. Come on through if you get a chance."
"Big Momma and I were talking about that not too long ago. We'll make it happen."
"Great."
"Until then can I at least make you an offer and you consider it? You don't have to decide now."
Santana didn't want any handouts, but she owed it to this woman who always had her back to hear her out.
"Sure thing, Cougar."
"You know I've had that bike that Rey used to ride since I dumped his ass on the curb 2 years ago. He never did pay me my money so he never got it back. I know it's not in the best shape but it should get you around for a while. Just have your insurance switched for the time being, I'll give you the paperwork. It's an old bobber but it will do the trick for a couple of months."
"I can't.."
"It wouldn't be for free. It needs work. The donor bikes out back may supply some good parts and I have a few parts for it at home I've been collecting with the intention of fixing it up and selling it but who has the time for that shit. You fix it up good enough for me to sell it at a fair price and you can use it until you get your hog. I'm never gonna find the time to do it and if I sell it as is I won't get what she's worth. Wolf did teach you how to work on a bike really well. Do this for me Snixx, because I wanna do this for you. I wanna celebrate this new thing you got going here with you and we will both benefit."
Santana thought for a long moment before answering.
"Okay."
Cougar broke out into a bright smile.
"Okay. If you want come by the clubhouse on Tuesday if you can and we can ride out to my place and I'll have it road ready for you. Just gotta do a quick check and see if everything is still good enough with it to get you started. I'll let you know what it needs and you take your time getting it ready for sale."
"Tuesday I gotta work pretty much all day, would Wednesday work?"
"Yeah, we'll set up a time. You hitch a ride home with me and we'll get you set up. Don't expect too much out of it, and it's not the best for riding two up if Legs likes hogs, but it will get you through."
"Thanks for this, Cougar. Really. Gonna save me a lot of time and some money too."
"Thanks for sharing your news with me. You made my day, kid."
Santana smiled and hugged the woman. This was going to make life a lot easier for Santana, even if she would have to find the time to work on it. Now every minute she has she uses to work and save for her bike or the hang out with Brittany. Now she'll have to squeeze out a few hours to work on this bike.
Santana made her way to the train station to make her way back home. She can't lie, she was happy to know that in a few days she'd have something to get around on, even if that bike was not her style. Neither was a New York City train. She sighed deeply as she made her way through the tunnels to the stop near her house. Still, it was worth it, because it meant that by spring she and Brittany could do some road trips with the Tainted Angels. She would gladly ride New York City transit for future road trips with Brittany...
...but she's glad she doesn't have to.
Santana went home, put her things away and lay down for a while before she had to go to work. She felt okay, good actually. This was the right thing to do. She drifted off to sleep, looking forward to seeing Brittany later that night at the club.
She dreamed, dreamed of Brittany on a long road trip to Ohio on the back of her bike, all geared up and looking cute, holding on tight not out of fear but because she wanted her close. She would take Brittany back home and face her demons with her, let everyone know she holds her head up high, and that she found someone who knows her secrets, and loves her as if they never existed.
Santana showed up in high spirits for her set that night. When the taxi dropped her off in front of the club she simply told everyone that her bike was in the shop. She just wanted to sit with it for a while before sharing it with anyone, even Nani. She enjoyed her final ride to Nani's and she made her peace with it. She didn't feel like explaining anything to anyone. This was for Brittany, and even Brittany didn't need to know that. She doesn't want her feeling guilty, she just wants her comfortable.
Santana was on fire that night, a new purpose, and when she finished her set she went to do what had become her new usual, she went to change and then have dinner with Brittany and enjoy the rest of the show. When she came out she was stopped by many who really enjoyed the show, even Nikki, who still brought clients to the club to entertain them. She and Santana hadn't really talked since Lexi had rescued her that night, other than for Nikki to simply tell her that she and Brittany made a cute couple, and to wish them luck. She made no advances and it was then that Santana knew for sure, Nikki would not try and make things hard for her. Still, she kept their encounters brief and professional.
Finally she was stopped by someone she was quite familiar with. Everyone there was. Cal Thomas was a music producer for a label that would come in from time to time. He had given Mercedes work as a session vocalist in the past and he came in whenever he was in town to enjoy the talent. He had told Santana that he loved the texture of her voice and when the right project came along he would love to work with her. Apparently, that time had come.
Santana greeted the man and he asked her to have a seat. She was pleasantly surprised. Sugar saw and kept her eyes glued on their table. Everyone knew that this could be the start of great things for her.
"Santana, I'm so glad I caught your show tonight. You're getting better each time I see you."
"Thank you, Mr. Thomas."
"Cal, just Cal. Listen, I came by just to hear you tonight. I have an opportunity for you. I have a new vocalist, and I want her to hear that haze in your voice, that sound of yours. That's what I picture for her when she sings. I want you to record a demo for her for this song we have in mind for her. Would you be interested?"
"Yes, I certainly am." Santana answered.
"That magic you had tonight, I want that on the track. I want your ad libs in there, your style. We'll work together to get exactly the sound I'm looking to showcase. I need it done this week, though. Is that possible?"
"Yes, yes of course it is. I'll work around your schedule."
"Excellent. Are you available tomorrow morning to come by and get the contracts so that you can look them over and get them back to me by Tuesday? We'll have someone go over them with you in case you have any questions"
"Yes, I am, that would be great."
"Excellent. I have your number, I'll text you the details. Meanwhile, I'll let you settle in. Hell of a set, Santana"
"Thank you Cal."
"We'll speak tomorrow."
"Yes we will." Santana smiled. Santana went to stand and Cal stood as well. Once Santana left all of her friends looked at her expectantly, but Santana just accepted their praise and then made a beeline for Brittany.
"Hey babe."
"Honey, you were amazing ! Oh man, Santana!"
"Thanks doll." Santana said, taking a seat.
"What's going on?" Brittany asked, noticing Santana's demeanor.
"Did you see that guy I was talking to?"
"The suit? Yeah. Is he a fan?"
"I guess so, he offered me a job. He's a producer. He's worked with Mercedes before. He wants me to record a demo for an artist he's working with."
"Are you serious, honey?"
"Yeah, and he seems to want me to just do it in my own style, ad libs and all. I don't know, all I know is that I'm recording a demo this week." Santana said, a smile crossing her face.
"Oh honey, that is just so amazing."
"Thanks doll. Listen, do you mind if we leave after dinner?"
"Sure Santana, of course. You need to be rested for tomorrow."
"A lot has happened today Britt, I just kinda want to be alone with you."
"Nothing sounds more perfect."
"The others are curious about that conversation with Cal, you wanna come with me to tell them about it?"
"If you want me there."
"I want you everywhere, Britt."
Brittany smiled softly. She has sensed something going on with her since she returned from Philly. She hopes Santana tells her soon what it's all about. She doesn't think it's bad, but something has changed.
Santana stood and pulled out Brittany's chair. Then she took her hand and they first walked to the bar and grabbed her thermos from Sugar.
"What's happening, Sannie?"
"Take 5, come to the table for a minute."
Santana wanted to tell them all at once. This is what they did, they shared joy and pain, this group of friends with dreams as big as the city they lived in.
Sugar went to leave the bar and Santana laughed.
"Get somebody to stand in for you for 5 minutes. I'll wait."
Sugar grabbed a busboy and told him to get behind the bar.
"Sugar, he knows nothing about drinks."
"If they don't want beer they gotta wait," Sugar said and Santana chuckled.
The three went to the table and everyone looked up hopefully. They all told her how amazing her set was and she thanked them, then she got straight to the point.
"Okay, I know you all want to know what's going on. Cal wants me to record a demo for a new artist is all. Could certainly use the money since my bike is in the shop."
A round of congratulations came her way.
"You know this is your foot in the door, right?" Kurt said.
"Or it's just a demo, which like I said is okay, because I need the cash. Yeah, I still get great Nikki tips but those may dry up when she finds out I'm no longer giving her any happy endings."
Santana didn't really think that was true. Nikki still asked to sit in her section, still tipped her better than anyone. She was thrilled that so far the only thing that has changed is the sex. It's how she's always wanted it to be.
Nobody disputed her. They had all been through this one way or another, called to do something that they didn't want to get their hopes up about leading to something else. Artists have to be cautious with their joy.
"Anyway, that's about it. Picking up contracts tomorrow. 'Cedes, I may give you a ring and compare, ask some questions."
"You can call me tonight, don't care how late."
"Not tonight," Santana said, her eyes meeting Brittany's in a way that caused her to blush. Everyone at the table smiled a knowing smile.
"Ok, whenever you want."
"Thanks doll. Okay, well that's about it. We're gonna grab our dinner to go. Britt, you can grab a seat right here and I'll put our order in, I already know what you want," Santana said and she blushed again and smiles broke out at the table again. "You guys have a dirty mind," Santana said cheekily, winking her eye. "I like it," she smiled.
Santana pulled out an empty chair so Brittany could sit, then she grabbed her thermos and went to put their order in to go. Then she went in the back to grab her and Brittany's jackets. Once she returned she sat and chatted until their order came out before saying goodnight to everyone and going out to catch a taxi back to her place. She pulled out Brittany's chair and took her hand as they walked out of the club.
It didn't take long to catch a cab and the ladies quietly held hands in the back of the cab until Santana finally pulled Brittany in. The blonde rested her head on Santana's chest and sighed. It was only then when Santana dared to finally smile brightly.
"I'm proud of you, honey."
"It's just a demo. The money won't even be that great."
"I was proud of you before the demo. Still proud of you."
Santana kissed the top of Brittany's head.
"You going to call Nani when you get home?"
"Will call her in the morning."
"I thought you wouldn't be able to wait to celebrate with her."
"I can't wait to celebrate with you."
Brittany smiled. She couldn't wait either.