A month later

Allen returned to a dark house. As he stepped through the door, the shadows fell over him, and silence ringed the house until a familiar and soft fluttering of wings broke the eerie stillness.

"He's gone out again, hasn't he?" Allen asked, looking at Timcampy. "I'll have to go get him back, won't I?"

Timcampy nodded.

Allen sighed and shut the gate behind him. Ten steps to the right, fifteen to the left, onto the next street – he'd come this way so often in the past weeks – and there the tavern was. The air was thick with the smell of cheap beer and he felt almost giddy. It brought back memories of his training with Cross Marian, and Allen suppressed a shiver.

Bawdy songs bombarded Allen's ears as he swept the doorway curtain aside. Peering through the dim tavern, Allen sidestepped the grouchy barmaid and made his way to the fireplace, where a man, clearly a foreigner, sat on a stool, staring into space. An empty jug stood beside the stool, and a mug hung limply from the man's hands.

"Kanda," Allen said, shaking the man by his shoulders. "Come on. You've had enough to drink."

"No."

"Pardon? Did you just say no? Are you sober this time?" Allen asked, sniffing at the jug.

"No."

"You know you can't drink much. Why do you do this every single bloody day?" Allen reached out and put his arms under Kanda's. "Get up. Now."

"Another pint."

"No. You're clearly drunk, you moron."

"Shut it, Beansprout. Get me another pint."

"No, let's go."

"We'll leave after another pint," Kanda said. "Get it."

Allen hesitated. He was tired, and he didn't have the strength today to drag Kanda back to the house they shared. "Fine," he said. "But only one pint."

:::

The noises in the night had started a few months before. There were creaks and groans, of course, the nightly ruminations of an old house, and then the sobs started.

Allen pushed the covers back and grabbed his bedside candle. He walked down the corridor, hesitating in the dusty darkness outside Kanda's door. With a sigh, he wrenched the door open.

Kanda looked up mid-sob. "What the fuck are you doing here? Get out."

Allen walked in and set his candlestick down on the mantelpiece. "You've been like this for a few months. What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Get out."

"Tell me," Allen said. "Maybe I can help you."

"No, you can't. Idiot."

"Talking about it might make you feel better," Allen suggested.

"Shut up and get out."

"You're ruining my sleep, alright?" Allen said, glaring at Kanda. "Just bloody spit it out. Get over yourself and your effing pride, you idiot."

Kanda glared back; Allen thought he could make out the red rims of Kanda's eyes in the dim light.

"It's nothing," Kanda said.

"Nothing?" Allen repeated. He crossed his arms. "You'd better tell me the truth. I've heard you sobbing for a while. You haven't found a job. You drink every evening."

"What's it to you?"

"I can put two and two together," Allen said. His voice softened as he took a seat at the edge of Kanda's bed. "You're still upset over Lavi's death."

"How can I forget it?" Kanda asked. The mask seemed to have fallen; the dark hair that hid his face now could not disguise his trembling voice.

"No one wanted Lavi to die," Allen said. "You certainly didn't expect him to."

"I didn't. We thought we were safe. We never expected…"

"The Noahs had all gone down by then, yes. I heard the story from Marie. But you know what? It's fine to feel that way," Allen said. "Just don't let it eat you up. We can't all let our ghosts chase us forever."

"How can I forget? Lavi – he was – Lavi was –"

"He was your best friend, yes, I know that but –"

"No, he was my mission partner. He was irritating, but he –"

"No one likes it when they lose their partner," Allen said. He made a soothing noise.

"No, he bothered to talk to me when he first came to the Order. He was annoying, fucking annoying, but – he felt – he – and Lenalee – they let me feel what it was like to have a family."

Allen reached over and patted Kanda's hand.

"I can't remember my past life," Kanda said. "I didn't have a family when I awoke."

Allen nodded.

"That's why – I can't forget. Lavi was – was almost my brother."

"I understand," Allen said. "But as your brother in the war, Lavi wouldn't have wanted you to grieve for so long."

"The surprise, the open eyes, the blood on his face... It's still strange that someone like him could die."

"Very unexpected," Allen agreed. "He was too full of life to leave. But he left, in the end. And you cannot blame yourself, Kanda. You have a whole life ahead of you."

Kanda shrugged.

"What would Lenalee say if she saw you like this?"

"She'd scold me," Kanda said, the hint of a smile appearing on his face for the first time in months.

"We should visit them," Allen said. "Lenalee and Komui."

Kanda shrugged again.

"It would do you good," Allen added. "That's it, we'll go."

"The journey there will be long," Kanda said.

"That's fine. We're all used to long journeys, aren't we?"

:::

"Kanda!" Komui said. "And Allen!"

"Komui," Allen said. He extended his hand. "How have you been?"

"Fine," Komui said. "I've been experimenting. It's been good – rather successful."

"What are you experimenting on?" Allen asked.

"Why, robots, of course! They're fascinating, aren't they?"

Allen trembled slightly. "You're joking, right?"

"Fucking robots again?" Kanda asked. "You're an idiot, Komui."

"The potty mouth isn't gone, I see," Komui said. "We'll see what my housekeeping robot can do for you."

"I'll slash it," Kanda promised.

"You won't!" Komui said. "You can't! My darling Lenalee will stop you!"

"Who's that at the door, Brother?" Lenalee asked, from somewhere inside the house.

"You'll never guess," Komui said, and led the two men in.

:::

"Let's visit Lavi's grave," Lenalee said.

It was the day after they'd reached the little town built by the Order, and Kanda had already, with the good steel of his blade, rendered Komui's housekeeping robot useless. As a result, Kanda and Allen had been chased out into the garden, and Lenalee accompanied them while her brother sobbed inside the house.

"It's here?" Allen asked.

Kanda looked away.

"Yes," Lenalee said. "The graveyard is at the south of this town."

"Are you up to it?" Allen asked Kanda.

Kanda nodded, though he refused to look at Allen.

The graveyard was a bright place, almost cheery, if a graveyard could ever be appropriately described thus. Clusters of blue and white flowers dotted the hedges, and leafy trees planted around the circumference of the circular garden provided shade for the weary.

"Lavi's sleeping near the middle," Lenalee said.

Kanda walked in the direction Lenalee had pointed in, and Allen followed behind, pushing Lenalee's wheelchair with care.

"This one," Lenalee said, when they'd reached the middle. "This one here."

Kanda looked down, to his right. Like the other grave markers, it had been carved from marble. The logo of the Black Order had been carved at the top, and a cross at the bottom. In between, the words ran thus:

Lavi, of the Bookman Clan

Here lies one who fell in the War against the Darkness

Unknown provenance, rootless paths,

Spirit burning bright, undimmed by death's blight.

None can forget. None will forget.

"Who commissioned this?" Allen asked, even as Kanda knelt before the stone.

"The Order," Lenalee said. "Brother ordered that all the dead members of the Order were to have a personalised inscription."

"Who wrote this?" Kanda asked, without turning around. His hands were touching the cross carved onto the stone.

"Link prepared the inscriptions for the exorcists," Lenalee said.

Allen nodded. "It's the kind of thing he would do."

Allen then stepped forward and knelt before the stone. He laid the bouquet of flowers he had brought on the flat front of the stone. "Lavi. It's nice seeing you again," he said. "It's been a long time since we last – last saw you."

"He'd be laughing at us if he could see us," Kanda said, his voice trembling slightly.

Lenalee, concerned, stretched her hands out to brush Kanda's shoulders. "Kanda," she said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he said.

"You're not," Allen said.

"Leave me here," Kanda said.

Allen and Lenalee exchanged glances.

Kanda noted the pointed silence and the atmosphere. "Just … give me an hour. I'll be back soon."

Allen sighed. "I'll take Lenalee back to Komui's now, then."

Kanda remained behind even as Allen pushed Lenalee back to the town; he remained kneeling, his hands on the cross, his forehead pressed against the top of the stone.

:::

"We've had a pleasant month here," Allen said, looking back as the cart trundled away from the town.

We've got to return to real life, beansprout," Kanda said.

"Oh yeah?" Allen said. "Ouch! These dirt roads…"

Kanda remained unperturbed even as the cart hit another stone. "Be a man."

"I am! It's just that this cart is jolting too much. I'm starting to feel sick."

"Don't you dare be sick on me."

"I'll try not to," Allen said. "Why don't you go join the driver, then?"

"I'll stay right here," Kanda said.

"Eh?"

"One Lavi is enough," Kanda said.

"Am I supposed to understand that cryptic reference?" Allen asked.

"I made a promise that day, before his grave."

Allen nodded. "We guessed. You seemed so much like your old, jerk-like self after you came back. The pity party's over, I gather."

Kanda looked away. "Not yet, but it will soon be."

"You're trying hard, aren't you?" Allen asked, trying to look sympathetic but failing as another bump in the road caused his face to turn a shade of green.

Kanda nodded.

"Then that's fine. That's what Lavi would have wanted."

"I know."

"Where are you going from here?" Allen asked.

"Aren't we going back?"

"Back?"

"To the house."

"Oh. You mean – you aren't going to go travel around the world?" Allen asked.

Kanda leaned forward. "Should I?"

"It seems like the sort of thing you'd do," Allen said. "Take off without a word, that is."

"Not this time," Kanda said. "We'll stick together for a while more."

"I always knew you needed a friend," Allen said.

Kanda smiled.

A/N: Finals are finally over, and I finally have some time to write. Finally, finally, finally. Anyway, this chapter was hard to write - I just couldn't find a way to make them fall in love. Sigh. What do you think? Should I leave this be and move on to the modern-day part?

Thanks for reading!