One week later

"Kanda! Open the door, please?"

Kanda frowned. That's Lenalee – but how did she even get in? The beansprout must have let her in.

"Kanda?" Lenalee said again.

With a sigh, Kanda stood up and went to the door. He opened the door slightly. "What do you want?"

"Took you long enough," Lenalee said. She was frowning. "I thought maybe you'd fainted inside or something. Allen told me that you've been refusing to leave your room."

Kanda shrugged.

"Don't you shrug at me like that," Lenalee said. "I've been worried sick about you."

"The beansprout let you in?"

"Yes – well, not really. He had to go off to celebrate Tyki's birthday, so he gave me his key."

"Mikk's birthday?" Kanda said. "Idiot. I don't know why the little brat's hanging around Mikk's coattails. His sugar daddy, probably."

"And I," Lenalee said, "don't know why you're hiding from your friends. Talk to us."

"I'm talking to you right now."

"I meant that you should tell us about your grief. And aren't you going to let me in? Or are we going to talk like this?"

Kanda nodded. "Come in."

"So, Kanda, what have you been doing these few weeks?"

"Nothing."

"Really? Nothing at all? You didn't turn up for work?" Lenalee asked, taking a seat on Kanda's bed.

Kanda resumed his seat on his meditation mat. "I called in sick."

"For three weeks?"

"No. I took no-pay leave. I'm going back to work in a week."

"Are you sure you'll be up to it?"

"Yes."

"You sure about that?" Lenalee asked, looking Kanda straight in the eyes.

He averted his eyes. "Yes."

"Really? Look at me."

"Enough, Lenalee." Kanda looked up. "Please."

"But –"

"I can handle my own problems."

Lenalee sighed. She did not press the point.

:::

One week later

Allen rubbed his eyes when he saw a man with long hair in the kitchen.

"Kanda! I'm not seeing things!"

"Idiot."

"You're finally out of that room; I was beginning to think that I might have to break the door down."

"Shut up."

"Brilliant way to greet your roommate, whom you haven't seen for what, almost a month."

"Shut your trap. I'm trying to eat."

"So am I."

"You make me sick," Kanda said, looking away as Allen tucked into his dinner.

"So where did you go today?" Allen asked. "You're dressed up. You went to work?"

"Yes."

"Oh bloody hell, you actually went to work!"

"Shut the fuck up."

"You shut up too, then."

Kanda snorted. "You started talking first."

Allen shrugged and finished the rest of his dinner before he spoke again. "So... Kanda, how are you feeling?"

"Normal."

"Normal? But you've been hiding from us for a month!"

"I needed space."

"So you did," Allen said. "I bought your favourite green tea. Your stash was running out, and I figured you'd want more when you got out of that slump. It's in that drawer."

Kanda looked up. He opened his mouth, closed it, and then opened it again. "Thank you."

:::

Two months later

Kanda and Allen had gotten into the habit of watching television together in the evenings. It helped them fill in the evenings; it helped them to gloss over the empty hole Lavi had left behind – before his death, they had all spent many happy evenings together.

Kanda could thus be forgiven for getting somewhat grumpy when he saw Allen all dressed up and ready to party.

"Where are you going?" he asked, frowning.

"Out," Allen said. "I've a party to attend."

"With Mikk?"

"Yes. Now – don't start lecturing me on how I should be wary of him."

"You should be wary of him, he's –"

"Oh, Kanda, come on, you're not my mother. Or my guardian. So there."

"You're an idiot," Kanda said. "You should stop seeing Mikk."

"We've been dating for so long, Kanda. He hasn't done anything weird or awful. So – just stop it, alright?"

"Hmph," Kanda said, turning away to face the television set.

"Don't wait up for me," Allen said, jingling his keys. "I might be home late."

"You can do what you want, you're an adult," Kanda said. He did not turn around to face Allen.

"Okay," Allen said, edging his body towards the door. "Good night then."

Kanda did not reply. With a sigh, Allen slipped on his shoes and left the apartment.

:::

Allen did not expect Lenalee to call him at midnight. She never did call him at midnight. He picked up her call with a sinking feeling.

"Hello, Lenalee? Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Where are you?"

"I just left the party," he answered.

"In that case… Allen, I need you to fetch me."

"Uh, where are you? Should I call Komui? I don't have a car, remember?"

"No, just take a cab over. I'm at the Earphones Factory."

"You're at Marie's bar?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll head over right now. What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"You'll know when you get here."

With that, Lenalee hung up, leaving Allen extremely perplexed. Allen immediately stuck his hand out and hailed a passing cab. He reached the bar barely fifteen minutes later.

"Allen!" Lenalee called. "Over here!"

Lenalee did not look particularly sad – nor did she appear to be injured – perhaps – then, Allen noticed the slumped body beside Lenalee.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"Kanda."

It was indeed Kanda – his long, dark hair was splayed all over the table, and he reeked of the sharp, nose-twisting fumes of alcohol.

"What's wrong with him?" Allen asked.

"I have no idea," Lenalee said. "He asked me to accompany him, but he didn't tell me why he was upset. Now he's drunk."

Together, they got Kanda into the cab and back to the shared apartment. Allen propped Kanda against a nearby pillar and waved to Lenalee.

"Have a safe trip home, Lenalee."

"Thank you," she said, and shut the door. Then, she rolled down the window. "He did say something about Tyki Mikk. Just thought you might want to know."

She waved as the cab drove off into the darkness.

:::

The sunlight was streaming in between the edges of the blinds when Kanda forced his eyes open. The blanket was too warm, the sunlight was too bright, and little squiggles floated across his eyes.

Then, a man moved across his field of vision. "Why did you get so drunk last night?"

Kanda forced his eyes to focus on the man. "What are you doing in here?"

"Waiting for you to wake up," Allen said, leaning against Kanda's wardrobe.

Kanda sat up. The pounding in his head intensified. "Headache," he said, apropos of nothing.

"Naturally," Allen said. "You drank a great deal last night, according to Lenalee."

Kanda shook his head. "Water."

Allen took the glass sitting on Kanda's desk and handed it over. "Is something wrong?"

Kanda gulped the water down. "No."

"Then why'd you get so bloody drunk?"

Kanda shrugged.

"Lenalee said you said something about Tyki?"

"Did I? The woman can't hold her tongue. If I did, so what?"

"Why do you always make your friends worry about you?" Allen asked. He crossed his arms. "You're an idiot."

"Get out of my room, Beansprout."

"I won't until you tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing."

"Something is definitely wrong," Allen said. "You're acting so strangely…"

"Stay away from Mikk."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me."

"I did, but as I've already explained to you, Tyki is not the bad person you think he is."

"He is."

"He's not. Look –"

"He's cheating on you."

"You must be mistaken," Allen said, a chill running up his spine and down his skeleton.

"I saw him a few weeks ago, hugging a guy."

"He could have been giving the other person a goodbye hug –"

"They hugged for a long time. Then Mikk kissed the guy's neck," Kanda said.

"That can't be true!"

"It is," Kanda said. "Ask him."

Allen turned to walk out of the room. "That's precisely what I'm about to do."

:::

As strokes of darkness began streaking across the night sky, Lenalee received a call from Allen; they met at their favourite bar.

"What's wrong?" Lenalee asked. "Yesterday it was Kanda and today it's you."

"Tyki cheated on me," Allen said, staring at his glass.

"Oh no," Lenalee said. "So – what happened?"

"We broke up."

"I'm sorry to hear that…" Lenalee said, patting Allen the back. "How did you find out?"

Allen took another swig from his glass. "Marie! Another glass! Another bottle!"

"No, Allen, you can't hold your liquor," Lenalee said. She shook her head at Marie. "Don't let him have any more, please."

Marie nodded. "He sounds like he's already drunk."

Allen snatched the bottle from Marie's hands. "I'm not drunk," he declared.

"It's fine," Lenalee said to Marie, "I'll handle him."

"I'm not drunk, Lenalee," Allen repeated.

"How are you feeling right now?"

"Pardon?"

"How are you feeling?" Lenalee asked. "Terrible?"

Allen nodded. "I thought… I thought it was going to last forever. I didn't expect…"

Lenalee made a soothing sound. "I understand, Allen."

"I – I never thought that Kanda was right," Allen said. He took another swig from the bottle.

Lenalee inched the bottle away from Allen's grasp. "Allen – oh, Allen. You've to get a grip on yourself. Tyki isn't worth this."

"He isn't," Allen agreed.

"Then why are you trying to get yourself drunk?"

'I don't know," Allen said. He took the bottle back from Lenalee. "I don't know."

Allen really was drunk a few more mouthfuls of alcohol later. Lenalee gestured to Daisya, who was standing behind the counter.

"Yeah?" Daisya asked, stepping out from behind the counter.

"Can you get Kanda for me? I can't get Allen home by myself."

"Sure," Daisya said, and left to phone Kanda.

"Allen!" Lenalee said, hitting Allen on the cheeks. "Wake up. You still there?"

Allen did not respond.

"Lenalee," Daisya shouted, "he's on his way!"

Kanda reached the bar some twenty minutes later.

"First you then him," Lenalee said, looking up at Kanda. "What is wrong with you guys?"

"What happened to him?" Kanda asked.

"He found out Tyki cheated on him."

"Che."

"You told him?" Lenalee asked.

"I saw Mikk with his boy toy," Kanda said. He gestured at Allen. "He deserved to know."

"Of course he did, but – Allen is miserable. He never saw this coming."

"Hmph."

"Come on, Kanda, help me carry him to my car. I'll send the two of you home."

Kanda stooped and dragged Allen's right arm over his own shoulder. "Let's go," he said. "I've got him."

:::

The next day

It was a warm morning; Allen could feel the sweat gathering on his back, under the soft stretch of his shirt. The sunlight danced across his face; he could feel its warmth treading down his skin and his bed. Something pounded away inside his head; it roared against his skull.

"Headache, huh?"

Allen forced his eyes open though it hurt to do so. Him room was awash in the sterile morning light. "Eh?"

"Drank too much, Beansprout. You're quite an idiot too." Kanda stood by the door, already dressed in his workout clothes.

"What –"

"Why'd you get so drunk for?"

"Pardon me but –"

"Last night," Kanda said. "Did you really need to drink that much?"

"I – urgh," Allen said. He placed his palms over his eyes. "So bright. Draw the curtains, would you, please?"

Kanda uncoiled from his position by the door and stalked over, drawing the curtains with sharp movements. "So?"

"Yeah, I went to the bar, what's it to you? I had to carry you back the other day. You don't see me bloody complaining," Allen said, uncovering his eyes at last.

"Drinking doesn't solve the problem," Kanda said.

"You're one to speak."

"I know."

Allen looked around the room. "I just wanted to forget for one night."

Kanda shrugged and looked away from Allen.

"I just – I don't know what to think, what to do," Allen said. He ran his fingers over his alarm clock, a black affair with silver buttons and knobs. "We dated for so long – it'd have been four years next month…"

"Time heals all pain," Kanda said, brow furrowing. "That's what Lavi told me."

"I suppose it does."

"Look – Beansprout, you've got to pull yourself together."

Allen held out the alarm clock. "He gave this me, you know? He said he was tired of saving me a seat in lecture, so he bought me an alarm clock."

"Hmph. Throw it away then."

"What? No, why would I do that?" Allen asked, placing the alarm clock back on his bedside table. He pulled a ring off his left middle finger. "We bought promise rings on our second anniversary."

Kanda glanced at the slim band of silver with an infinity knot carved into the middle and returned his gaze to Allen. The younger man's eyes were now puffy.

"We promised to love each other and no one else," Allen said. "I can't believe he cheated."

Allen stroked the ring and remembered Tyki's soft touches, the stolen kisses in the dark crannies of the Noah mansion, the late-night strolls down the waterfront, the beach parties and the smell of Tyki's cologne on hot, sweaty nights. He remembered the hugs, the food excursions, the way Tyki's eyes seemed to be able to undress him just by the power of his gaze alone.

"You're crying," Kanda said.

Allen felt the hot tears roll down his face. He grabbed a tissue from the table and swiped at his eyes. "I know."

"No use crying," Kanda said.

"I can't help it."

"I know how it feels," Kanda said. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.

Allen shook his head.

"I felt something like that when Lavi died," Kanda said. "A best friend gone… you feel betrayed by fate."

"And? How long do you think I'll feel this way?" Allen asked.

"I'm still grieving, but it … it gets better every day."

"I'm sorry Lenalee and I couldn't help you," Allen said.

"No – this is something everyone must go through alone," Kanda said. "I talked to Tiedoll. He explained it to me."

"You actually talked to Tiedoll about it?"

"Yes. I never thought I'd want to talk to him about… about my emotions."

"Hmm."

"It will get better," Kanda promised, grasping Allen's shoulder. "It will."

:::

"You died too young," Allen said, bending down to place a fresh bouquet of carnations on the gravestone.

Lavi Bookman did not answer Allen, for he could not, being dead. Kanda, however, opened his mouth. "The Beansprout's right," he said. "You shouldn't have been the one in front of that bastard's car that day."

"You never told us what happened," Allen said. "Just that he got knocked down."

"Bookman knows."

"What exactly happened to Lavi? It wasn't a hit-and-run?" Allen asked.

"No, not really."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"Lavi asked me not to," Kanda said. "I would have chased the bastard down and punched him till he begged for his life, but Lavi made me promise not to."

"Was it about Chomesuke?" Allen asked.

"Yes. He wanted to save her… they got him instead." Kanda said. He shook his head. "I reached too late to save him."

"It's all in the past now," Allen said. "Lavi is probably happy wherever he is now. I wish… I wish you caught the bastard, though."

"I wish that too."

"Let's go," Allen said, reaching for Kanda's hand. "We have a meeting to attend at the Foundation."

Kanda nodded. Together, the two walked down the mossy paths and out of the silent cemetery, hand in hand. Of them we shall not speak any further, except that they lived very happily till the end of their days.

-Fin.-

AN: Thanks for reading this fic! I started it with no idea of where it was going, and... well. I have no better idea of what it's all about even though it has ended.

All comments/criticism/etc are welcome (: