A/N: This chapter is dedicated to both Elphaba EmeraldSkin and LunaLooneyLongbottom who both wanted costumes involved, and one who wanted Alice to pick them out. Please, enjoy! Read and review please? By the wya, I'm still taking requests.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. Nor to I own the Phantom of Venice or Alice in Wonderland.

Ghosts, Demons, And Witches, Oh My

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Emmett groaned.

"You? What about me?" Jasper asked, glancing down at himself in annoyance.

"At least you're not covered in sixty pounds of chain mail, that was really around, in the fifteenth century!" Edward moaned in disgust.

"You can't even feel it!" Rosalie cried in what appeared to be agony. "The more pressing problem here is me! I look like I just robbed a linen shop!"

"How did Esme and Carlisle escape being subject to this torture?" Jasper sighed in aggravation.

"Easy answer," Edward began, "They can take away her credit cards."

"That still doesn't explain why Alice chose these costumes." Emmett cut in.

"Yeah. Seriously, who in their right mind would dress you up as the Phantom of Venice?" Jasper wondered as he glanced at Emmett's long black cloak, triangular hat, and creepy beaked mask. "I thought that guy was supposed to be charming and suave."

"You're right. What was she thinking?" Edward stifled a laugh at the look of rage on his largest brother's face.

"Oh, well at least I don't look like a demented version of the Tin Man." Emmett retorted, smirking.

"Dude, I'm a knight. Note the sword." Edward said, gesturing at the sheath attached to the belt on his waist.

"Really? I think that Mike Newton kid would be a better knight than you. At least he attempts to save the princess."

"Don't even get onto the topic of Bella's change with me right now!"

:"Yeah guys, he's riled up enough." Rosalie smiled. "Don't make him angry or he might take his sword to your throat."

"Well look who's talking little Miss. Alice." Edward challenged, staring hard at Rosalie's ripped dress and pinafore.

"Hey, I didn't choose to walk around looking like the Cheshire cat just attacked me. Alice is the one making me wear this!" The blonde protested, waving her knife around.

"Don't fret, Rosalie." Emmett soothed, "At least you got a pretty cool costume. A dead Alice from Wonderland is way cooler than any of our costumes."

"Alice?" Jasper quipped, glancing at the disaster that was his sister. "More like Malice."

"Oh, and you think you look any better?" Rosalie scoffed. "Truthfully, Alice did at least one thing right, making you a jester."

"Hey, do not mess with the harlequin pattern!" Jasper cried.

"Umm, guys?" Edward murmured.

Everyone looked at him expectantly.

"Alice picked these costumes out for us, right?" They all nodded. "She's currently out with Esme and Carlisle buying decorations, right?" Another nod. "Then what exactly is keeping us in these ridiculous things?"

In a flash all of the vampires fled the living room, deciding to capture the small amount of time out of costume that they could before their pixie-like sister came back.