***Author's note: Huge apologies on the delay of this chapter. Real life is just so busy these days and with hockey games every other day I can hardly keep up. I know things are moving slowly, but I am committed to this story and promise things will be moving along. As always thank you a thousand times over for all your great reviews and insight!***

Caroline drove down the long tree lined drive until the large brick home came into view. She had been to the Sewickley house a few times in the past couple months. A few dinners with friends, Sidney's parents coming into town were really the only time she had been in the house. When Sidney's parents were visiting he would stay over, but usually the house would be used for its social purpose and Caroline and Sid would go back to his apartment in the city or her house. It felt too strange to be in the large, ostentatious home for too long. Not sure what to expect at the brunch she dressed in a navy, yellow and white striped shift dress she had gotten on the sale rack at J Crew paired with metallic sandals and a light white sweater. Her hair was up in a ponytail with her bangs brushed to the side. Next to her sat the plate of deviled eggs she had made this morning to bring to the party. Nathalie had told her it wasn't necessary to bring anything, but Caroline didn't want to come empty handed and her aunt's deviled eggs recipe was legendary. The morning had been hectic. Caroline made her bi-annual trip to early Catholic mass partly because her mother would kill her if she didn't and partly because Caroline hoped it would help her find some relief to the endless current of anxiety she had running through her veins ever since the night Sidney had proposed. Caroline felt uneasy all the time and especially with everything going on, specifically the arrival of Cameron Spencer, she needed something to help put things in perspective. She liked the formality of Catholic service. The structure helped the chaos in her mind and she left feeling better about everything.

As she prepped the eggs, Caroline dialed her parent's number. She hadn't spoken to them in nearly 2 weeks. Actually since the day after the botched proposal. She hadn't said a word to them about what had happened but the conversation had been strange. Her mom seemed anxious and her dad short with his answers. Caroline had been so wrapped up in her own drama, she hadn't really given it a second thought. Her mother answered on the second ring. They chatted for a good while, just catching up on little things. Caroline told her mom about the committee at work and the brunch she would be going to later this morning. Caroline had this tell tale sign of having her voice rise an octave or two when she was uncertain about something. Her mother immediately picked up on it.

"Is everything ok, dear?" her mother asked plainly.

"What? Oh, yeah mom. It's fine," Caroline said too quickly but her mother could not be fooled.

"Anything you want to talk about?" Mrs. Reid asked softly.

Caroline didn't know if it was the kind voice of her mother or the fact that she felt like she was drowning in a sea of uncertainty and anxiety but Caroline was dying to just tell her mom everything. When she allowed herself the emotion, she had to admit she was frustrated that Sidney was acting this way. He was being unreasonable. She watched him struggle with trying to be okay with her while at the same time hold this grudge against her. Sara made it seem so easy, but if last night was any indication, just getting to talk was going to be a feat in itself. "Yeah," Caroline sighed heavily into the phone. Then, "No." Before she could stop herself the words just flew out of Caroline at a rapid pace. She told her mom everything. The proposal, the awkwardness, Taylor's visit, Cameron and the video thingy. She kept the night at Sid's to herself but everything else was out there. Caroline struggled to keep her voice from breaking as she confessed to her mother that she didn't know how to make everything better again.

Wendy Reid was quiet for a moment, then spoke.

"Your father would kill me if he knew I told you this, but he called here. Sidney. That morning. He called and asked your father and I for our blessing."

Caroline stopped breathing.

Mrs. Reid continued, "When you didn't say anything we assumed it didn't go well and I promised your father I wouldn't ask about it."

Caroline struggled to find her voice, "What did he say?" she choked out.

"He said that he loved you very much and that he wanted us to know that he would take care of you. Protect and provide for you. He was very nervous, I could tell. It was very sweet. We had our concerns of course. It's all very fast. But he was so certain that your father and I couldn't say anything but yes. I know this doesn't help with your decision, but I just think given all your doubts, that you should know this. Caroline, this decision is yours, don't let Sidney pressure you to do anything you're not ready for and don't let us influence your decision. I just think it's fair that you know everything."

Caroline's mind was swimming. This information didn't make it easier. at all. Everything just seemed bigger and scarier.

"I'm scared Mom," Caroline confessed. "I'm scared that something is going to go wrong. I worry all the time that I'm going to do or say the wrong thing and he is going to realize that I'm not the right person for him. I'm terrified that people are going to hate me. I'm scared that I won't be able to work or go to the store. I'm afraid that one day he won't love me anymore and I will have become so encased in him that I won't know who I am anymore." Caroline felt the tears swim in her eyes and internally berated herself for being such a mess.

"Oh sweetie, it's going to be okay. I know its very overwhelming. It's more than I could ever imagine. There is nothing wrong with taking it slow. Marriage is a partnership. It has to be 50/50, if it's not, then well, it's always going to be a struggle. If you think that your entire relationship weighs on saying or doing something wrong, then yes, you were right to say no. That's not equality. You need to build that trust, that foundation, that knowledge that you are with that other person through the good and bad. The pretty and the ugly. The highs and the inevitable lows. That's commitment. But Caroline, sweetheart, I'm not saying your worries aren't valid but I've seen you two together, I highly doubt anything you say or do will make him just disappear. I know you are cautious, but you can't obsess about things that may never happen. It sounds like you need to do some thinking and just talk to him. I know you are thinking of all the reasons to say no, but did you think of the reasons he thought you'd say yes?"

Caroline was silent, taking in the words her mother was saying. Was she not putting enough validity in their relationship? She trusted him, completely. She knew she wanted to be with him and only him but sooner or later she was going have to realize, to accept that he wanted the same. That she was as important to him as he was to her. That maybe, just maybe he had the same worries too?

Caroline talked to her mom for a little while longer. She felt a relief to the anxiety and some new perspective on it all. Realizing the time, she said goodbye and finished up her deviled eggs. Suddenly she really wanted to see Sidney. She didn't know if they would be able to talk, but she was starting to realize that he'd had his aha moment. Caroline just hadn't allowed herself to have hers.

Taylor answered the door. She was trendily dressed in dark jeans and a multicolored top. She grinned at Caroline and let her into the house. "Sid is still getting ready," she said munching on a banana and rolling her eyes. "He had some phone interview that went long...are those deviled eggs?" Taylor eyed the platter in Caroline's hands.

"Ok, yes, I, um, brought them for the brunch. I wasn't sure what people were bringing." Caroline said lamely.

Taylor just gave a funny look but didn't say anything. An alert on her phone distracted her and with a wave of her hand towards the upstairs, she mumbled where Sid was, her fingers already flying across the screen of her iPhone.

Caroline set her things down and made her way upstairs in search of her boyfriend. She found him in the master suite bathroom, running product through his hair, not quite dressed yet. His chest was bare, the rivulets of water evaporating off his body and a towel around his waist. Sidney ran his fingers his messily arranged hair as he focused intently on his image before him.

She had a flash of a future of many a mornings getting ready in this bathroom, he spending more time on his hair than really necessary, she brushing her teeth. There lives melded in the simplest way. Not filled with public appearances and weeks apart, but the appreciating the small things, something as simple as sharing a sink. Well, maybe not sharing a sink...there were two in this bathroom that was nearly as big as her bedroom. Leaning up against the door frame she felt a peace settle in her belly that had not been there for weeks.

"Hi," she said softly.

Sidney's focus shifted and his eyes caught hers in the mirror.

"Hey, sorry I'm running late, I had this interview that wasnt supposed to happen until tomorrow but there was some conflict and I had to-"

Caroline didn't speak, just walked towards him and came up flush behind him. She pressed her cheek between his shoulder blades and breathed him in. He was warm and solid, his skin flushed and damp. Her arms snaked around his waist, her hands rubbing at his belly until they moved further down and uncinched the towel. He didn't say a word but the sound of his breath hitching echoed in the large space. Caroline's hand snaked down and found his penis hot and hard, ready for her. She pumped her hand up and down over the girth of his impressive erection.

"Care, Taylor is just..." Sid barely choked out.

"Shhhh," she whispered into his skin. She let go of him and with one swift motion pulled her dress up and over her head, discarding it onto the floor.

In an instant he turned and took her in. Clad in just a pale pink bra and panties she pounced on him. His mouth hot on hers, his fingers pulling at her hair tie and freeing the strands as they created a curtain around them. His erection poked into her belly as his fingers nimbly unclasped her bra. It fell to the floor and his large hands groped the newly exposed flesh, massaging her as his fingers played with her pebbled nipples; she was so ready for him.

He lifted her and turned them towards the sink. Setting her down on the marble countertop, he weaved his way between her legs and attacked her neck. He pressed hot kisses along the column, as she clutched him to her. His hands moved deftly over her ribs and down to her waist and with great finesse pulled her panties off and discarded them to the floor. He broke away from her neck and pulled back, taking in her flushed face. When she opened her eyes, they were dark and full of need. For a split second nothing happened and then with a flicker of her eyes, he was given the permission he needed and he filled her hard and fast. Caroline's mouth crushed against his and she felt every inch of him slide in and out of her, filling her up to more than she though she could take. Back and forth he moved inside of her, she grasped at anything she could on the counter top to help steady herself from the ride he was taking her on. She settled for clutching the edge of counter top as his hard lean body surged into hers, his mouth hot hers, his hands palming her ass as he pulled her further into him. As his movements became erratic, he broke away from her mouth and buried his head into her shoulder.

"Caroline," his voice was deep, throaty and lust filled. "Caroline," he repeated as his hips moved faster and faster and she moved with him. She just arched into him, her eyes closed tight as she focused on the ecstasy of it all.

"Caroline,"

She blinked. He stood in front of the mirror staring at her, looking at her like she was crazy.

"Did you hear me?"

Caroline fumbled for a minute, the fantasy drifting away, as reality fell back into place.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" he cheeks were hot and the pulsing between her legs unmistakable.

"I said I'm running late because of the interview...are you ok?" he was now looking at her very peculiarly.

"Oh yeah, um fine, ok, no problem. I'm in no rush," she collected herself and flashed him a smile.

He looked like he was contemplating something, then moved towards her. Her breath caught as he came up flush to her, his eyes intent as his fingers came up and ghosted across her flaming cheek.

"You look pretty today," he said softly.

"Thanks," she choked out, looking up at him, his eyes warm, a look on his face that she missed seeing.

His lips came down gentle on hers and before she could grab the back of his neck and intensify the kiss, he had pulled away.

"I should just be a few more minutes," he said apologetically, already moving past her back to the bedroom to get dressed. She watched him as he moved gracefully to the dresser and then to his closet. Suddenly she had an idea.

"Why don't we just stay here today," she rushed out. "You can make me and Taylor your mom's pancakes and I brought deviled eggs. We could play games, watch movies, just veg out." Caroline waited for his reaction from across the room, watching Sidney select a pair of slacks and a lightly checkered dress shirt. He turned and for a second it looked like he might consider it, but then his features hardened.

"They're expecting us," he said stiffly, "the camera crew is going to be there, they wanted to get some footage of the team in a more relaxed setting." She knew by team, he meant him.

Caroline wasnt sure if he was irritated that she had suggested they don't go or the fact that they had to go. Whatever the reason she wouldn't let it faze her, although the anxiety returned at the idea of the camera crew filming them.

"Ok," she said brightly ignoring the dread in her stomach, "It's going to be a lot of fun."

He studied her for a moment, then spoke, "We could come back her after and hang out, I really want you to spend some time with Taylor."

Caroline smiled genuinely, "Sounds like a good compromise."

Caroline had been to a few dinners at the Lemieux house over the past few months. Nathalie was a wonder, so welcoming and friendly. The whole family had been so nice to her, making her feel like part of the family, just as they had done with Sid. The dinners were always prepared by Nathalie and although they were in a multimillion dollar mansion, when everyone sat around the table it seemed like any other family in any other house in the world. It was one of Caroline's favorite things about being with Sidney. Today however, the house was all a bustle. They pulled up to the magnificent home where a valet was waiting to take the keys from Sid and park the Range Rover along with the other luxury vehicles lining the stone drive. There were people filing into the home dressed in expensive suits and elegant dresses, men with cell phones attached to their ears, women with gaudy Easter hats. Caroline looked down at her dress and the platter of deviled eggs and felt out of her league.

"Oh jeez," Caroline heard Taylor mutter from the backseat and could nearly hear her rolling her eyes at the scene, "We aren't in Cole Harbour anymore eh?"

"Shh," Sid said half heartedly and turned to give Caroline a reassuring look. Caroline smiled weakly and got out of the car.

They had just entered the home when Caroline wished she had left the platter of eggs in the car. Although, she didn't think Sidney would have gone for a plate of eggs in the warm sun for the next 4 hours or so. Nevertheless, she felt especially silly when they entered the dining area and saw platters and platters of food including crab and lobster, cakes and quiche, champagne fountains and chocolate covered strawberries. Caroline wondered if she could escape to the kitchen and throw the thing away, that or hide out in the bathroom and eat them all. Before she could give it another thought, Nathalie came through the door way, with Evgeni Malkin trailing behind her carrying a large silver tub of ice.

"Right there, Geno," Nathalie instructed the tall Russian. She caught sight of Sid, Caroline and Taylor standing there and immediately greeted the threesome. Nathalie embraced Sidney and Taylor, while Geno wandered over to say hello to Caroline. He looked down excitedly at the deviled eggs and reached out for the platter. Expecting that he would find room for the eggs on the long buffet table, she handed them over, but instead of setting them down, he pulled back the cellophane and downed an egg in one bite.

He reached for another and with a full mouth muttered, "Good."Before she knew it, he had wandered away platter in hand, already reaching for a third. Caroline grinned at the exchange then turned to welcome Nathalie's embrace.

There must have been over a hundred people at the brunch, all sorts of people from the Penguins organization, players and families and other notable people of Pittsburgh. Sid was swept away immediately by important people in suits, while Caroline and Taylor were left to fend for themselves. It was nice to spend time with Taylor. She was very down to earth, seemed unfazed by the wealth and pretension. Caroline told her about being a teacher and growing up in Ohio. Taylor was interested in hearing about Caroline's college days, as she had been narrowing down her selections since she would be graduating next year. They pair made their way to the back patio where the rolling green grass seemed so unusual for early spring, but was beautiful nonetheless. Taylor saw the other teenagers and Caroline urged her to join them, while she went to chat up the WAGs who were huddled by the mimosa bar. Caroline chatted animatedly with everyone and nearly forgot about the other reason for the day until Cameron Spencer sauntered up to the group of ladies. Caroline noticed Carole-Lyn DuPuis obvious eye roll and the air in the crowd became very chilly.

"Caroline," Cameron's voice was falsely enthusiastic. "Hey girl. Hi ladies," she said addressing the group. There were some tight hellos and faked smiles and Caroline couldn't help but feel sort of bad for Cameron. She obviously was not a hit with any of the WAGs. Cameron didn't seem to pay any attention to it. She wore a tight black dress with stilettos and her long blond hair was up in a tight chignon. She held a Blackberry in one hand and a clipboard in the other. A shlubby looking guy with a camera on his shoulder stood behind her. "Mind if I get some footage?" she asked lightly.

Caroline felt the anxiety speed up and her body locked. A few half hearted okays murmured across the group and Caroline felt her palms get sweaty. Vero stood next to her and light squeezed Caroline's hand. "It's ok," she whispered, her other hand caressing her swollen belly. She wasn't due until June but her large belly indicated differently. Caroline gave V a grateful smile but her eyes were already scanning the crowd for Sid. He was nowhere to be seen.

Caroline kept her back to the camera and tried to focus on Michelle Cooke's story about her new living room furniture. It was an incredibly boring story but Caroline stared intently at her taking in every word. She felt the camera come up to the side of her face and she couldn't help but dart her eyes to the side and look into the lens.

"Stop," Cameron announced into the crowd. With a sigh the cameraman took the camera off his shoulder and shot Caroline a dirty look. Cameron walked over to Caroline.

"Sweetie," she said in a condescending tone, "You can't look at the camera, just pretend it's not there."

Caroline muttered an apology and camera guy set up the shot again. She listened intently to the furniture story again, refusing to tear her eyes away from Michelle. She felt the camera zoom in on the group but pretended it wasnt there. She felt V's arm brush against hers and moved to the side to create more space for the soon to be mother. Unfortunately she stepped right into the shot, her back directly in front of the lens.

"Stop, stop," Cameron's voice broke through again. Caroline sent a look of apology to the other ladies, who just looked at her with pity. She flushed, embarrassment flooding her face.

"Caroline," Cameron said with exasperation in her voice.

"I'm sorry," Caroline said quickly, as the cameraman fiddled with the buttons, not wanting to get involved in Cameron's wrath.

"You stood right in front of the shot," Cameron stated plainly.

"I didn't mean to, I just..." Caroline didnt finish her sentence.

Cameron pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's ok, let's just try it again."

Caroline just wanted to disappear. She looked out at the vast backyard and finally caught a glimpse of Sidney. He was by some trees playing with Pascal Dupuis' youngest. As the cameraman set up the shot and Cameron positioned some of the WAGs, Caroline became captivated by the sight. His face was so relaxed, filled with a such joy as he scooped the toddler into his arms and then pretended to drop him, causing the little boy to scream with delight. She didn't know if it was coincidence or just perfect timing of the conversation with her mother, but in that second Caroline knew. Despite all the problems and the tension, watching him with the little boy just put a pang in her chest, a want inside of her roaring to life telling her that no matter what, she wanted to be with him forever. Nothing else mattered, not even this stupid camera in her face. She wanted to run towards him. Grab him and kiss and tell him yes, that she did want to marry him. Tell him she had no idea what she was doing or if she would do it right, but that she wanted to be his wife and she wanted that to start as soon as possible. All of a sudden a hand was in her face and the snap of well manicured fingers brought her back to the task at hand. "Pay attention," Cameron said harshly.

"Hey," Vero spoke up defending her friend, "Dont talk to her that way." Cameron turned to reply to Vero, but the look on the pregnant woman's face, told the PR maven that she needed to tread carefully. Turning back to Caroline she gave a tight smile and pulled at Caroline's shoulders and positioned her in place, "Dont move," Cameron said shortly. Caroline nodded in agreement. She smoothed one palm on her dress, as Cameron shoved a mimosa into her other hand, "Here, this will stop you from fidgeting." she instructed.

Caroline focused on the conversation that was now becoming forced due to having to start and restart. Caroline focused on Michelle and tried to stay relaxed. She felt the camera zoom in on her, the lens only a foot away. She nodded her head stiffly and tried to figure out what to do with her hand. Her palms were so sweaty. She tried putting it on her waist but that felt odd, so she dropped it to her side. That didn't feel right either. She lifted it to the glass she was holding, switching hands. But as she did, the glass slipped between her fingers and came crashing to the ground. The champagne flute shattered, orange juice all over her feet and shards of glass spraying the feet of the other women.

"Ahhh!" Michelle Cooke exclaimed, a piece of glass landing on her sandal clad foot, cutting her instantly as red started to pour from the arch in her right foot.

"Are you ok?" Caroline exclaimed.

Cameron just shook her head and pulled the cameraman out of the group. The women moved quickly to tend to the cut woman. The sound of glass shattering brought attention to most of the party goers on the expansive patio. Everyone was staring at her.

"Let's pack it up," Cameron said to camera guy, sending a disappointed look at Caroline. Caroline wasn't sure what to do. Michelle was shooting daggers at her, as the other women helped her to a nearby chair.

"I'm so sorry," Caroline repeated over and over to the older woman. She ignored the sticky feeling in her feet, but was not able to ignore the stares at all the party goers. Everyone seemed to be looking at her. She glanced out to the yard and saw that even the people there had heard the commotion. Sid was looking in her direction and she was mortified. She had to get out of there. Managing another weak apology, she hurried back into the house to hose off her feet and just be alone.

There were people everywhere. She weaved in and out of traffic trying to keep calm. Finally she came to a door that lead to garage and was instantly relieved to be away from all those people and equally pleased to find a faucet by a number of fancy looking cars. A few minutes later her feet were clean except for the fact that her shoes were soaking wet. She sat on the step inside the door and just took some time to let them dry and to think. She felt a thousand feelings at once. She felt so stupid about the video. The whole thing felt so unnatural and pointless. Why did anyone care about a group of women talking about furniture? What did that have to do with hockey? And seeing Sid with Pascal's little boy. Oh god how her heart had twisted at the sight. She thought back to the conversation with her mom and the past couple weeks. It had been miserable but she would go through this misery any day of the week if it meant being with Sid for a lifetime. She would go through things a lot worse even. She would gladly humiliate herself in front of all of Pittsburgh if she had to. He was everything and somehow in all the fear and uncertainty of the unknown she had lost sight of that. She sat staring at her toes for a while until the sound of a door opening behind her broke her out of a trance. Before she could turn around and see who it was, she heard his voice.

"There you are."

She turned and looked up at him, he held a calm, I don't want to freak you out look on his face. She gave a weak smile and watched as he came down and sat next to her.

"You ok?" he asked kindly.

Caroline nodded and gave him a somber look. "Yeah, just embarrassed. I really should be used to it by now." she said with a self deprecating laugh.

His shoulder rubbed up against hers, "My rookie year I was a mess. I never knew where to look at the camera during interviews, my eyes were everywhere and I always had the dopiest looks on my face." he said, trying to make her feel better.

"Really?" she asked with a giggle.

"Really," he confirmed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, just sitting there. His thigh pressed into hers, his arm brushing up against her. It was the quiet time they had longer for but now it just seemed like all there was to talk about seemed insignificant and petty.

"Hey," Sid said taking her hand and pulling her up. "I want to show you something."

He led her across the garage to another door and guided her in. It was a large room with a little kitchenette on one side and a little living room setup on the other. Through an opening she could see a bedroom. The space was bright from the sunny day coming in through the many windows.

"What is this?" she asked looking around at the small home.

"This," he said, "was home for nearly 6 years. See when I first moved to Pittsburgh I didn't know anyone, I was barely eighteen. All I had was Mario. He took me in. Gave me a home, gave me a family, gave me someone to do my laundry." Sid gave a laugh. He showed her all around the guest house and into the bedroom that was filled with pictures of Sid with teammates and the Lemieux's, jerseys hung on the wall, medals and awards all over. "I haven't really packed any of this stuff up yet. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by it all, I like to come back here. Remember what it was like in the beginning." He sat down on the bed and she followed. He looked all around, his hand still clasped around hers. "I was so backwards when I got here. Didn't know anything about anything other than hockey. They kind of made me over, the Penguins I mean. Polished me up and prepped me for a whole new life. Taught me how to say things, how to act in different situations, basically groomed me to be all they needed me to be. Don't worry about Cameron or the video. Seriously if you want, I can axe the whole thing. I just thought it might be a way that we could solidify our relationship to the public, let them know that this is for real, make a commitment since...you know." Caroline knew he was referring to the proposal.

"Sid," she tried to cut in, ready to tell him yes, tell this whole party, yes she wanted to be his wife. Forever, no matter what.

He kept talking.

"You were right," he said, looking at their intertwined hands. "I did a lot of thinking and you were right. I was too rash, it is too soon."

No it's not, she wanted to say, but he kept talking.

"This is a lonely life, I know it doesn't seem like it, but it is. Everyone wants something from you and it's hard to find special people, people you can hold close, because it's so difficult to trust. I trust you with my life, Care. I know without a doubt who you are and what you would do for me and I know what I would do for you. I selfishly wanted something that would keep you put, I know how loyal you are. I wanted that piece of mind that I would never lose you. But it wasn't fair. I need to realize how different it is for you. That you would be giving up a lot and it is scary. I'd forgotten how scary it really can be. So we can slow down, pretend that proposal never took place and then when we know that the time is right, I can do it properly."

Caroline didn't know what to say. Part of her was disappointed, part of her relieved. He seemed so certain. His mind made up that Caroline didnt know how to argue with him, tell him she was the one who was wrong.

"I love you," she said finally. "I will do all of this, any...anything for you," she squeezed his hand. He smiled his real smile and stood up suddenly. She watched as Sidney crossed over to the bedroom door, shut it and clicked the lock. She shivered with anticipation as he walked back towards her, his intent written all over his face. He hauled her to her feet and crushed his mouth to hers kissing her thoroughly. All thoughts of Cameron Spencer and broken glass erased from memory as his hands eventually came to her waist and led her down onto the bed.

Today was her aha moment.