Tuesday

The first one went by so fast. It seemed like only moments earlier Caroline had settled into her seat at the arena and now the final buzzer had rang. It was a fast game. Teams evenly matched. Not a lot of penalties but a ton of hard hits. A scuffle here and there but nothing major. Then it was over. Caroline rose from her seat and gave Veronique a sad look. Normally she would have thought of something reassuring to tell the net minder's wife, but she was just too tired. She said good night and made her way up the steps, blocking everything out. Caroline didnt take the usual turn down the concourse to the back of the Consol, the behind the scenes where the team was no doubt tending to their wounds both literally and figuratively. Instead, she mindlessly took another door, the door that led to the Consol garage for staff and guests and got into her car. She went through the motions that led her home as her mind began to drift.

24 hours earlier

"Wh-who was at the door?" Caroline asked, her heart hammering at the back of her throat.

Sid repeated himself, his face a wall.

"I-I-I don't know." She was lost. Confused. Scared.

She stared helplessly at him. He stared back for a second or two, then crossed the room to the stereo, punched a few buttons and there was silence.

Caroline turned and watched him walk to the coffee table and pick up his iPad. A few presses here, a couple swipes there. Then his eyes were scanning, left to right they flew across the screen, his features set tight as he concentrated on the screen.

She just stood there, stock still. Silent.

Finally he walked over and thrust the tablet into her hands.

"That was the building manager at the door. There appears to be a small crowd forming down in the lobby. Reporters. They must have been right behind you. He won't let them up of course, but he brought me a message from a guy I'm friendly with over at the Trib. This appears to be going viral."

It was then Caroline looked down at the screen. The words screamed back up at her:

Cracks in the Ice?
As the post season is underway and the Penguins have successfully defeated the Islanders in the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs, not everything is smooth skating for team captain Sidney Crosby and his girlfriend, school teacher Caroline Reid. The couple appears to be hitting some rough ice as Reid was sighted Friday night at a local nightclub in the South Side neighborhood of the city.

"She was wasted," a source tells the Chill Factor. "She was bumping and grinding all over the dance floor, talking to guys, flirting and looking very much single."

"It's disrespectful," another source said. "This guy is the heart of the city, he's off trying to win us a championship and his girlfriend is hitting on anything with a pulse. Sid doesn't need this distraction." The Chill Factor has to agree, after a rocky start to the season and a disappointing end to the post season last year, all eyes are on Crosby as he tries to lead his team down the long road to Stanley.

There were pictures.

Pictures of her on the dance floor. He shoes off, her hair a wild mane. There was also another picture, this one darker. Caroline at the bar, the low light cast a faint shadow but you could tell it was her. And there were those guys, smiling, no leering at her. She'd forgotten that part. She was smiling, widely, her arm outstretched and touching the one standing closest to her.

She had to admit, it looked bad.

"It's not what it looks like," she said, her voice high.

He didn't anything, just looked at her.

She began to ramble, "I had too much to drink. At the dinner. I made a mistake. I was upset and I didn't react the way I should have, but I swear nothing happened with those guys. We talked about you."

Sid's eyebrows raised but he remained silent.

Caroline began to backtrack, "Nothing personal, at all, really. I mean, we just talked about the series, it was just chit chat while I was getting a drink."

"You know better," was all he said, his face showing no trace of understanding.
Caroline was caught off guard for a moment.

"I…I know that. I didn't mean…it just was…I was hurt. I'm sorry, I made some bad choices, I didn't think." She swallowed thickly.

Sid's rubbed at his face, massaging the flesh with his calloused palm. "I just cant go through this every time you feel let down." He said tiredly.

Caroline knew it looked bad, but she thought he'd be more understanding. If this was how he was reacting to some stupid blurry photos, what would he say about the kiss?

You will lose him. A voice piped in suddenly. He will leave and you will lose him.

"I know." Her voice small. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She wanted him to pull her into his arms and tell her it was ok, that this was stupid and he didn't care about this stuff. She expected him to tell her all the times he'd been photographed secretly or someone had gotten the wrong idea about something he'd done. But he didn't. And the hazy truth was it was as bad as it looked. She had been flirting with those guys. Bleary eyed and fuzzy headed she'd giggled and played the part of silly party girl.

And it was so much worse than he even knew.

Caroline didn't know what to do, so she just stared down at the story, the words blurring together, until a few words, down towards the bottom jumped out and her stomach turned over.

"Sid," her voice wavered. She looked up at him with wild eyes and thrust the tablet back in his hands. He looked down at the screen and began to read the end of the article, the part he'd hadn't read.

The words seemed huge. Bold and in large font, even though they were the same as the rest. Words like proposal, refused, inside sources and unknown future.
He stared at those words, his own beginning to form in his mind, exposed and vulnerable to name a few, but all that came out of his mouth was,

"Fuck."

Canadiens 2 Penguins 0

Thursday

It started off with a few shoves, then the gloves were dropped. Players tangled with players, as Sid took a fist intended for his jaw but caught him in the nose. The blood began to pour and then all hell broke loose. Finally they were separated and the next five minutes was spent wading through the flood of penalties. It was nearing the end of the first period and the Pens were already down 3-0. The Habs had come out strong and fast, strangely catching the Penguins completely off guard. Sid was able to grab a towel from the trainer, as he skated over to the penalty box. The crowd was quiet, stunned and stumped by the complete breakdown of the team and the sight of their captain so unraveled. The cameras closed in on him, the words spewing from his mouth unmistakable as he cursed like a sailor and flung the bloody towel to the side.

The rest of the game was just as ugly and as final buzzer rang, the crowd sat dumbfounded as the players skated off equally stunned at the deficit they'd found themselves in.

Sid peeled off his uniform and the pads underneath before collapsing into his stall, to prepare himself for the media. They were the last people he wanted to see. He had nothing to say. The locker room was quiet, tense, no one looked at anyone else, they just stared at their hands, or off into space. Nobody wanted to think it, let alone say, that the team may have just played their last game at the Consol for this season.

"How did they find out?" she asked hysterically.

Sid rubbed at the space between his eyes. How different this night was turning out to be. He knew he'd let her down. That tonight would mean a lot of apologizing and making up for missing her big night. He'd explain the best he knew how and hope that she would understand. Instead, his personal life, their personal life was ending up the water cooler conversation of the entire city. He was frustrated, disappointed. She knew better. He loved her, all of her, but she needed to know, needed to learn, that in this world, everything she did was a reflection on him. It wasn't fair, but it was what it was. But none of that mattered now anyway, because there were bigger issues. Issues like everyone knowing that he'd proposed to her and she'd said no. Everyone knew the most personal details of his life. The life he'd created with her and worked so hard to keep private and precious, especially after the Jordan Staal catastrophe. He loved her, she was his life, but ever since he'd been with Caroline, the private world he'd constructed around himself had begun to crack and now as it lay in shambles around them.

"Who did you tell?" he asked, his voice tight, adrenaline running through his veins.

"No…no one." she stumbled.

"Caroline."

"Just my parents…" she trailed off her face betraying her thoughts.

"Sara?" he asked accusingly.

She met his eyes.

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Damn it," he seethed.

"She didn't tell anyone, she promised" Caroline replied, her voice rising.

"Right," he scoffed.

"She wouldn't," Caroline shot back. "I know you don't like her, but she would never do this. Never," she paused. "You told people."

"I told one person." Sid replied tightly.

"Is there anyway…" Caroline began, but stopped. Sid watched as she thought carefully about her next words.

"Is there anyway Cameron could have found out?" She asked tentatively.

Sid heaved a big sigh and threw up his hands, "You're kidding, right? I swear to God Caroline I'm not going through this again. Cameron didn't do this. She didnt write this article, she didn't take those pictures and she doesn't know that you turned me down."

It pained him to admit that despite all his reassurances, it still hurt to say those words aloud.

In all fairness though, she looked as defeated as he felt.

"But I did." Caroline said quietly, her gaze fixed on the table, she blinked and looked up at him, her eyes thick with tears. "I caused this article. I talked to those guys and I said no. Sid, I..."

He couldn't listen anymore. He had a game tomorrow, he needed to clear his mind and prepare. The evening he'd envisioned was long gone. He was just so over it.
"Caroline, I can't talk about this anymore. Really, I can't. I understand what happened when you were out wasn't what it seemed, I get it. I trust you. This is the last thing I need right now but it's happening and I've got to somehow block it out because this is an important series. You understand, right?"

She nodded, her eyes red rimmed stared just past his shoulder.

He hated to say the next part but he had to, "I, um, well it's probably a good idea if you just hang back a little this week."

Caroline's eyes flew directly at him this time, "What do you mean?" She asked shakily.

Sid rubbed at his neck, "Just maybe stay clear of everyone at the arena, you know too many opportunities for media to ask questions. Once we get into the series, it will blow over." He gave a pathetic smile, trying to pretend it wasn't as bad as it seemed.

"But," she started.

He stopped her, "It will just be easier for the both of us. I don't want to air our laundry out for everyone to see. I can handle it on my end, it would just be easier for you to stay away from any chances..." He trailed off, not really sure what he was trying to say. What's the easiest way to tell someone you love that they are becoming what you promised they wouldn't...a distraction.

"I get it," a few tears escaped and trailed down her cheeks.

"Care..."

"No," she gave him an equally pathetic smile. "Right now is too important for you to have to deal with all this. I'll lay low and let you do your thing."

He sighed, that's what he needed, but why did it feel like the complete opposite? He wanted her there smiling and cheering him on, not hiding out because once again their personal life was on display like a billboard on the way into town.

"Should I go?" She asked quietly.

"No," he replied quickly. She looked relieved.

"There might still be reporters down there," he continued.

Her face fell, "Oh, right."

The air was thick with discomfort.

"I can heat this up," he said, not sure of what to do next.

"Ok."

Dinner was quiet. A few words here and there but they sat mostly in silence, both lost in their thoughts.

A little while later, he called down to the lobby and got the ok that the reporters had left. Being the gentleman that he was he offered to walk her down to her car, but she just gave him a sad smile and declined.

He walked her to the door, feeling like strangers. His mind a tornado of emotions.

At his doorway, Caroline turned to him. "I know I let you down," she said staring at her hands. Then looked up, "But you let me down too even though it was for the right reasons. I made a dumb mistake, but I love you. I'll do whatever you need to make sure this series goes smoothly for you, just..." she paused, he could tell she was fighting to hang onto her emotions. "Just dont forget that I love you. So so much." She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his stubbly cheek.

"Bye." she breathed.

And she was gone.

Canadiens 7 Pens 0

Saturday

"So you didn't tell him?" Sara asked. The two were sequestered in a booth at an out of the way sandwich shop. No one had approached the two women for which Caroline had been grateful. The week has been miserable. By Tuesday, everyone either had seen the blog or knew someone who had. Regardless, everyone had an opinion on the subject and they were not too shy about sharing it. She survived Game 1 and 2. For the most part the games had been so intense that all the attention stayed on the rink, but she heard them, the fans made sure she knew they weren't happy, especially at her spectacularly terrible timing on the whole scandal. Veronique was good at creating a safety zone but true to her word, Caroline didn't stick around. She hadn't seen Sid since that night in his condo. Sure she saw him on the ice and on television. She wasn't embarassed to admit that she watched his post game interviews over and over again, just to see him. To watch the way he squinted when trying to explain the unexplainable, for instance a routing of 7-0. She stared at his fingers as they rubbed at his temple. There were no smiles. Not after the pathetic start at home. She missed them most of all. The wide grin, the brilliance of his white teeth against the dirty smudges he called facial hair. No smiles. Not that she had anything to smile about either. Over the past week she'd ignored the glares at her favorite coffee shop, the heckles at the games and of course the endless phone calls asking for her comment. By after the game on Thursday, there were other things to worry about. The Penguins were heading to Montreal down two games to none and the nervousness began to sink in. No one wanted to say it, everyone was staying positive but if something didn't turn around in Montreal, the season was dangerously close to expiring.

Caroline shook her head sadly, "I couldn't. He was so upset about the photos and the article that I couldn't add to it. Not now. I will tell him, I swear, just not right now."

Sara stared at her friend with concerned eyes that bordered on judgemental. "Ok, I guess I see your point, but you know how bad you're making this. It's going to be exponentially worse when you do tell him."

Caroline nodded, "I know, but I'm willing to risk it. I need to not be a distraction and that's all I bring him right now. He may hate me, but I would hate myself more if telling him made this week even worse for him. I just can't do that to him."

Sara rolled her eyes, "Aren't you the martyr."

Caroline didn't answer her friend. She knew Sara didn't understand. But Caroline had made a choice. And she needed to live with it. Even though she felt it eating away at her every moment of every day.

They made chit chat, but really there wasn't anything to talk about. Sara invited Caroline over to watch the game, but Caroline declined. She would watch it from the comfort of her bed and then fall into a fitful sleep.

She and Sid had texted a bit. Brief, but it was something. She didn't tell him how bad it was, she took it as she deserved. No matter how nasty the dirty look was or the whispered comments behind her back were, there was nothing worse than laying in the dark, by herself, alone with her thoughts. She thought about how she wished she could do over that night, she yearned to go back in time and just not have made the choices she did. But she did and to wake up the next morning and want the world to be without consequences was unrealistic.

The friends had just gotten their food when Caroline heard the whispers from around the corner and when she looked up, it was like a sea of eyes staring at her, anonymous faces pinched with disdain and Caroline knew it was time to go.

Her fingernails were bitten to the nub, as she sat perched on the end of her bed. She could barely watch. She tried pacing but it did no good. She thought about changing the channel, just for a second of relief from the anxiety, but she couldnt, she needed to be there for him, even if it was 470 miles away. In the end it was a rebound on the crease in the lower left pocket and the game was over.

Caroline bit at her lip, but it was useless as the tears came and fell slowly down her cheeks..

Canadiens 2 Penguins 1 2OT

Sunday

Sitting in Montreal's visitors locker room, his body felt so heavy. The week had been as emotionally taxing as it had been physically. He hadn't wavered though. Not in front of the team and not in front the media. He was the captain and he would go down with the ship and he would fight for every breath. No, no one would see him show even an ounce of defeat. Well almost no one. He pulled on his gear and began to prepare for Game Four.

It had been after midnight when he got back to the hotel Saturday night. Not only had the game lasted nearly five periods, every minute had been intense. He had to be up at 7:00 to get ready for morning skate. The puck for Game 4 would drop twelve hours later.

He hadn't talked to Caroline all week and he missed her. God, he missed her. As much as his body ached from taking hit after hit from the Habs defensive line, he ached for her. Just to hear her voice or smell her hair. Something. Nothing had happened with those guys, he knew that. And the engagement? Who knows? Who cares, a voice in the back of his head responded. The team to their credit hadn't said a word and in all honesty they could hardly give a crap, this was the playoffs, all they needed to worry about was getting the puck in the net and right now that net seemed like the size of a Tim Horton's donut hole. They couldn't score, he couldn't score. Everything had gone cold out there, literally. A wrister by Duper was all they had gotten. In three games, one shot had gone in. The clock was ticking and the weight of the world had somehow found its way back on his shoulders. They were three periods away from being swept, an ending that no one could have predicted. He tried desperately to ignore the anxiety that coursed through his veins, but in the end, he just let it wash over him.

Sighing, he toed off his loafers, pulled out his phone and pressed a few buttons. Forget his pride, he'd left it on the ice somewhere around 18:49 in the second overtime. The phone rang a few times, then he heard her voice and a part of him found peace.

"Hello?" her voice was scratchy.

"Hey, did I wake you?" he asked, his voice quiet.

"No, I was just laying here. Can't sleep. Sid, how...how are you?" The concern in her voice filled him with warm lava.

"Eh, I've been better."

"I wish I could give you a hug." she said matter of factly that it made him laugh.

"Ah, I wish you could too." he replied, the first smile gracing his face since Monday.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too."

"I'm sor-"

"Care." he said interrupting her. "I dont want to talk about that, I just want to hear your voice. I...I want...I just need….can you tell me a story?"

And she did. She told him about how John Harris had cut off one of Jasmine Parks' braids just before the class assembly on anti-bullying and how Jasmine took her braid and instead of bursting into tears, whapped him on the head with the braid that held a heavy barrette at the end and how John's temple began to bleed and how little Kendall fainted right in her seat at the sight of the blood pouring out of John's head.

"And in the end we missed the assembly, which was for the best and at the time it didn't seem that funny, but now...telling you, it kind of does."

He could hear the smile in her voice.

"I wish you were here." he said honestly. "I know what I said about not needing any distractions and I'm sorry, I know I sounded like my dad, I just was so-"

"No, Sid, don't. You were right. You need to focus on hockey right now. It's your job. I just wish..." She trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"I just wish that I could be there too. It's not supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be your lucky charm." Her voice caught at the end and he heard her sniffle. He tried to ignore the pricks at the corner of his eyes.

"You'll always be my lucky charm," he said quietly. "I…" he paused. "I should go." This wasn't the time for all that needed to be said.

"Ok, good luck tomorrow. I will be watching." she said softly.

"Thanks, I love you Care."

"I love you too."

They put it all on the line, but in the end it wasn't enough. At 13:22 in the 3rd period the Habs scored on a power play. The Penguins made 34 attempts at Corey Price's net but it was all for naught as the Penguins were swept and the season was over.

Canadiens 1 Penguins 0

***Author's Excuse: ah, there really is no excuse for the wait on this other than lack of time and the challenge of framing this chapter how I wanted it. Not sure that I succeeded but I needed to get it out of my brain. Thanks again for all the feedback. Pens fans (and Sid fans) are the best fans :)***