He got the first flight out Monday morning, amazingly a direct flight. It was early. His mom drove him to the airport way before dawn. She didn't say much. Really there wasn't much to say and it wouldn't do much good, as Sid was wound up like a top. Trina looked tenderly at her son. The facade of strong, confident and detached athlete gone, replaced with a nervous bob of his right leg and a clenched jawline displayed prominently as he stared out the window. Even from his profile, she could see his eyes moving, scanning. It was something he did. Picture, play out all the events of an upcoming challenge. Analyze it from all angles. Figure out where all the pieces lay and how they would move. Only it wasn't for a hockey game this time. It was for something so much more important.
He went through the motions: ticketing, customs, bathroom, security. Didn't bother to check a bag. He carried on a small duffel and weaved quickly through the terminal. The cool of early summer in Nova Scotia kept him in jeans and a light pullover. He kept his head down, as the black cap was slung down over his famous profile. The 5:45 flight had a small mechanical error. No more that 30 minutes,but Sid felt the lump grow at the back of his throat. The time game him a moment to run through for the fiftieth time what he would say to her. He wasn't completely naive. Things would be different, but he couldn't help but see that as a good thing. There were changes that needed to be made, but they could do it. It would be challenging but they would do it together, he thought confidently. The early flight to Pittsburgh was not a popular one, so he happily sat in an empty row of the small scaled down first class section. He drank his orange juice and paged through the newest inflight magazine, none of the images or words actually making it to his brain.
And then the flight landed. He'd arranged for a car to pick him up. He moved even more stealthily through the Pittsburgh airport, knowing that the reaction to seeing him would be on a level he wasn't even close to dealing with. The last thing he needed was his image ending up on the 6 o'clock news as fans would swarm in shock at the unexpected sighting of their favorite yinzer. He pulled his collar up and hat down and just like the movies tried to move through the terminal undetected. The privacy gods were looking down on him this morning, because he made it the curb outside baggage check not only in no time, but virtually undetected. The black sedan was waiting, with a driver standing outside the passenger door. He held a card that read Forbes and Sid immediately spotted the alias and headed towards the vehicle. He gave a curt nod to the driver and got in.
He actually wrung his hands on the short drive to her house. The driver was a pro and didn't try to make conversation. He didn't care who was in the back of his town car, or where they were going. As long as they paid (and handsomely so), he just didn't give a damn.
For the first time in weeks Sid finally felt like he could breathe. The town car pulled up to her little split level brick home and there was that run down but dependable blue Corolla sitting in her driveway. Sid immediately flashed back to a conversation one Sunday morning, when he'd offered to get her a new vehicle. He'd tried to angle the purchase as a favor to himself. That she needed a dependable vehicle to get to Sewickley in the winter weather, especially on the bridges and through the hilly curved roads. But Caroline had looked at him completely bemused and refused adamently. Sid had argued how atrocious the pile of rust and steal was, but while Caroline mocked outrage, she stayed steadfast. She mumbled a comment about "too 50 Shades of Grey," the flush on her cheeks and neck unmistakable. As punishment, Sid teased her relentlessly about the referenced piece of "literature" and even suggested she give him some details about the book she'd obviously read. He'd finally given an ultimatum, either new car or she'd have to promise to do 3 things from the book. It ended up being a very interesting afternoon and the Corolla stayed in her driveway.
He was out of the car before the driver even put the vehicle in park. He dashed towards the house, His strides long and sure. More sure of anything in his life. His heart was beating a mile a minute, he could feel his pulse in his neck without even pressing his fingers to the point. And then he was there. He bit at the inside of his mouth, rapped at the door sharply and waited.
And waited.
Much needed coffee in one hand, boarding pass in the other, Caroline sat perched on the edge of her seat. She rummaged through her carry on for her gum. Her ears always popped, so it was much needed she find it, as the attendant had just announced the morning flight to Chicago was boarding. She nearly crawled into her bag, digging deep through the sea of junk that she'd somehow deemed necessary for the long trip. Finally, she found the sugary sweet and gathered her belongings. She walked over towards the gate and got in line. Standing there, waiting for her turn, she took in her surroundings. Her eyes scanning the busy terminal. Her eyes flicked to the gate caddy corner to hers. A flight from Halifax had just arrived. She felt the pang puncture her chest, but dismissed it as the line in front of her began to move. This was her reality and she needed to welcome it. She didn't have a choice.
He didn't panic at first. Her car was in the driveway. He knocked again and waited patiently. It was just after ten, she couldn't still be sleeping...was she at work? No, her car was here.
Her fucking car was here.
"Hello?"
The voice came from just beyond said car. Sid ignored it at first and knocked again, stubbornly adamant that Caroline would answer any moment.
"Hello? Sidney is that you?"
The voice of Rose Litowski grew louder, as the older woman made her way over from next door.
Sid turned towards the woman who was now in Caroline's driveway and pulling off her gardening gloves, "Hello, Mrs. Litowski. I'm looking for Caroline."
A worried look came over the kindly neighbor, "Caroline? Why she left early this morning. On a trip, she said. Had all sorts of luggage. She called goodbye, right when I started my weeding...when was that?" Rose looked pensive, "Maybe an hour or two ago? My memory isn't the best these days."
Sid just stared. This wasn't happening. He wasn't too late. It couldn't end like this. It just couldn't.
"Her car is here," he said dumbly, looking at Mrs. Litowski with a pathetic glance.
Rose stared at him curious, "Oh, well, yes, a cab came to collect her."
She studied the star in front of her. "It's been busy here lately, you know. All sorts of traffic. Keeps me up late. News vans. Then there were the late night visitors. Honking and causing all sorts of racket. Calling out terrible things. I could hear them all the way from my bed room. Then police cars would come. Sometimes as late as 1 o'clock. Could you imagine? Keeping me up the last few weeks." Her eyes narrowed on Sidney. "They've been cruel to her. So very cruel. One morning there was toilet paper all over the front yard. Eggs too. And..." Mrs. Litowski paused, uncertain to continued, but did anyway, "And feces," she whispered. "All over the windshield. That poor girl, its a good thing she was going out of town. This is a quiet neighborhood you know, and lately its been a circus." Her face hardened as she stared at her city's golden boy, "I told her that you were to blame. I don't mind telling you that, young man. Now, I know what the papers are saying but I told Caroline not to blame herself. She didn't deserve this. And you know what she told me?"
Sid shook his head, his mind swimming...drowning.
"She told me that you didn't do anything wrong. That all this was her fault. I don't know if I fully believed her, but she was stubborn. Said that this was all part of it. I don't I agree with that. No one deserves what has gone on here lately. No one."
He couldn't hear anymore. Not another word. Here he had been celebrating a pity party of one in Los fucking Angeles and she was here getting shit smeared all over her car. He felt sick. It was all more than he could take. Not only was she gone, she'd been nearly tortured over the past fews weeks. And god damn it if she didn't still take it all on herself. Stubbornly loyal.
He heard himself mumble out an apology and turned and walked away. He had nowhere to go now. She was gone and it was over. It was really over. His knees almost buckled. He felt tired, worn out and just so...sad.
He started walking and didn't know when he would stop, its not like he had anywhere to be. Not anymore anyways.
It was Friday. As her roommate's alarm pulled her from sleep, Caroline couldn't believe how quickly the week had gone by. In 24 hours she would be on a flight to Malaga, Spain. The past week had been grueling. Tending to a broken heart had taken a backseat to an intense language program and orientation that explained the ins and outs of traveling overseas. Since the grant had been funded by government monies, everything had to be done by the book and to a tee. Classes all day, then studying all night. By Thursday, Caroline could miraculously speak conversation Spanish. She spent her evenings with her headphones plugged in, as she learned how to conjugate verbs while pouring over workbooks for the curriculum she'd be teaching. While classes were out for the summer in most schools, she would be teaching a summer school class in the coastal city of Marbella. She would teach 3 days a week, then spend the off time traveling all over Spain, learning about the culture, the language and the people. Today would be a relatively easy day, just tying up loose ends and some time in the afternoon for sightseeing. There were about 45 of them. Teachers traveling to all corners of the world. They'd been put up at the Loyola University dorms and it had been sort of a blessing in disguise that Caroline had been stuck with a roommate. It kept her from going to the dark places at night. The distraction was greatly appreciated.
Caroline peeled back the covers and pulled herself out of bed. It was a pretty light day today. Just wrapping up a few loose ends, then sightseeing opportunities were available for whomever was interested. Caroline was not really an interested party, but agreed that she could use the time away from the school and give her brain a rest.
She got ready and went down to the cafeteria with Kelsey the roommate. Kelsey was sweet, a kindergarten teacher from Iowa City. She was traveling to Sri Lanka and was very chatty. A distraction, Caroline reminded herself when she didnt think it was possible for Kelsey to have anything more to say about anything. But she did.
By early afternoon, every paper had been signed, every shot received, every article of clothing packed away. The group dispersed, eager to explore a city that they'd been isolated from for the past four days.
Despite Kelsey's urging, Caroline decided to go out on her own. All she wanted to do was get a Starbucks and sit down and do nothing. Just relax. Take it all in. There had been no time to fully process what was about to happen. The letter for Sid was burning a hole in her purse. She'd agonized about it before she'd arrived in Chicago and had almost forgotten about it after she arrived. Almost.
It was still there. Waiting to be mailed. Every time Caroline thought about putting a stamp on the envelope she grew extremely anxious. It was everything she wanted him to know. Why was she so scared?
Walking the streets of downtown Chicago on the warm and sunny June day, Caroline quickly came across a Starbucks. She stood inside the busy coffee shop, waiting for her turn to order a Venti iced Americano and collapse into one of the comfy chairs situated by the windows that nearly encircled the corner shop. She could people watch for hours, the floor to ceiling windows allowed for her to watch the world walk by.
She stood in line looking at her phone, checking emails and weather updates here and in Spain. Finally it was her turn to order. And that is when it happened. Caroline placed her order with the barista, then turned to her side to retrieve her wallet from the bag slung over her shoulder. She was sure it was just a hallucination. For some reason and for only a split second, her eyes flickered up and out the window. And that's when she saw it.
Saw him.
It was a group of well dressed, good looking, athletic young men. They walked quickly, their heads down, but still in what appeared to be easy conversation. One of the heads wore a black cap, and right when he'd looked up to laugh at what of the other men had said, Caroline had looked out the window. It was like time stopped. Because he...Sid...he was there, he was right there.
And then he was gone.
Caroline barely had time to sputter out the cancellation of her order to the heavily tattooed barista and dashed out the busy Starbucks and onto the street. It was sunny and bright and people everywhere. Her brain couldn't even begin to process what was happening, instead her eyes flew all around, quick and desperate to see where he had gone. Then she spotted them. His walk unmistakable, the dark cap bobbing through the swarm of heads about 75 feet to her left. Caroline just moved. Clumsily she weaved in between the pedestrians, hurrying into a half jog/speed walk. Finally when she was about 30 feet behind, she slowed down and kept pace with the pack of men. There was no way she could approach him. Not in front of his friends, so instead she stayed back, his gray jacket in sight and tried to work out a game plan.
This was a sign. It had to be. There was no way that this could purely be coincidence. The chances of her in this city, at the same time as him, was completely unfathomable. But why, why was he here?
Suddenly the group stopped, a pair of young boys donned in red and black took notice of the stars and it appeared had asked for an autograph. Slipping into a store vestibule, Caroline peeked around watching the exchange. A few of the guys signed autographs and chatted animately with the young fans. Sid especially looked delighted to see the fans, and as he turned to take a photo, Caroline was able to see his smiling profile. The image brought upon such an assault of longing, that she felt the sharp prick build in the corners of her eyes.
Then they were on the move again. Caroline resumed her stalking and kept her eyes trained on the group. About five minutes later, the men stopped, then quickly crossed the street. Caroline was behind a large group of tourists who had decided to pull out their cameras right there on Michigan Ave and take pictures of a giant sculpture of Marilyn Monroe. Frustrated, Caroline craned her neck around, trying to see where the men had gone. For a few seconds, she had lost sight of them. Then, miraculously, she found them. Just as they approached a large hotel. The bellhops out front nodded politely to the men and opened the large ornate doors of which the men disappeared in. Caroline watched the whole thing and when they were out of sight, her eyes looked up to the giant W that adorned the building.
In seconds she was digging through her bag and pulling out her phone. Standing in the middle of the sidewalk, irritated passer bys shoving past her, Caroline punched a few numbers and within seconds her friend's voice came on the line. Not bothering to say hello, Caroline spoke frantically.
"I need to know why Sidney Crosby is in Chicago. And I need to know now."
He could only walk for so long, before he was sure to be recognized. Sidney came to the hole in the wall that left him with unhappy memories and made the call. Within 30 minutes, Flower pulled up.
If there was one thing Sid hated, it was vulnerability and ever since he'd started dating Caroline, he was exposed so much more than he was comfortable with. So the awkwardness of having his goalie come pick him up after a very spontaneous and seemingly not well thought out plan was more than Sid cared for. When he got into the luxury sedan, Sid pulled for his seatbelt and mumbled to his friend, "I was too late."
While his newfound fatherhood had soften Marc-Andre quite a bit, this situation was beyond wise words. So instead he gave a sympathetic smile and mumbled a "sorry, dude."
He stayed with the Fleury's for a few days, feeling completely turned around. He had no plan B, no game plan. The reality was to go back to Halifax or Los Angeles, but neither option was appealing whatsoever, he didn't even want to go to his condo or the Sewickley house. He just wanted to pretend none of this was happening. He'd never been an over dramatic person. Maybe he got a little theatrical on the ice at times, but typically he could keep a cool head. But now? He was a man without a compass.
And it showed.
It only took 48 hours, for Flower to break the news that his friend needed to go. Moping around a house with a new baby and a semi postpartum mother was taxing. No matter how big the house was. Bad timing and a sullen Sid created a recipe for disaster and Sid had to make a decision. He had to move on. He was out of options. To comfort the blow of kicking out his teammate, Flower had mentioned some guys were heading over to Chicago for Game 6 of the Stanley Cup finals. There was a luxury suite at the United Center and the Presidential penthouse at the Westin downtown waiting for him. He needed to get back into the world, no matter how hard he was grieving. Something needed to change.
Reluctantly Sid agreed and after a stop at his downtown condo, to gather clothes and essentials, he was on a flight to Chicago. A weekend trip with the guys. An escape from the shambles of his life.
He landed Thursday morning and met up with his friends. It was the perfect distraction. The hustle and bustle of a city hosting the Stanley Cup finals took his mind away from Caroline and he delved into the fun and excitement of hockey in June. The sting of the playoffs had worn off (heartbreak will do that) and he was ready to just blow off some steam.
"Stanley Cup." Sara said simply. It was less than a minute after Caroline had made her request. Sara had quickly logged onto her computer and logged into her twitter account. In no time she had it all. Tweets and photos of him at restaurants and posing on the streets with fans. There was even a blurb on SB Nation about Sid the Kid's visit to the Windy City. Sara didn't even try to censor the infomation. Normally her friend would be appalled by the use of social media to track her boyfriend(ex-boyfriend?)'s where abouts. Buy Caroline was beyond that.
So way beyond that.
She thanked her friend, ignoring the rapid fire questions from Sara, asking her what she was going to do, and ended the call.
Her mind swirling, she turned and headed back to the dorm. It was after 3 o'clock. She was leaving at 7 am tomorrow morning, she needed a game plan.
Problem was Caroline didn't really know how to form a game plan. Not one that seemed realistic anyway. Back in her dorm, she'd settled herself on her bed and pulled out her laptop. Trying not to wince, she went all the places that she swore she'd never go to again. But within 45 minutes she'd done the research and could figure out what his agenda for the next 8 hours would be. It made her extremely uncomfortable, cyber stalking seemed so much more creepy than the real life stalking she'd just performed.
It appeared that the hockey game would begin at 8pm. She had two choices. Go to his hotel, find his room and slip the letter under the door. Not see him, not talk to him. But she would have delivered her letter and she could leave the country knowing he knew everything. The other option would to be go either before or after and try to talk to him. For the next few hours she agonized over the options. In the end she decided it was time. Go big or go home. Well, go big or go out of the country, in her case.
She waited for Kelsey to go to sleep and lay in bed until 11 o'clock, then she peeled back the covers, dressed quickly in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbed a sweater and her bag and slipped out of the dorm.
There were no curfews, they were adults for goodness sake, but Caroline knew the powers that be would look down at her late night escape, but Caroline could hardly care.
It was just after 11:30 when she walked into the grand and luxurious lobby of the Chicago Westin. The hotel was less than a mile from the university and the streets had been filled with people celebrating. It took forever to get through the throngs of people as they hooted and hollered. She hadn't planned on that. Evidently the Chicago Blackhawks had just won the Stanley Cup. The timing couldn't have been worse.
She made her way to the front desk, the noise in the lobby was nearly deafening as she tried to ask for the room number of Sidney Crosby. The clerk looked at her like she was clinically insane. Shaking her head at her stupidity, she gave him a name. The alias Sid used in hotels. The clerk was mildly impressed but still refused. Frustrated Caroline thought. He could call up to the room and authorize her, but that didn't really have the entrance she was hoping for with this grand gesture. As she stood weighing her options, a commotion caught her attention. It was coming from the lounge. Across the lobby and into the dark lit but bustling bar she saw him. She didn't have to worry about gaining access to his room number. He was right there.
She mumbled a never mind and floated away from the desk and towards the high end lounge. She felt totally out of place in her pony tail and jeans. Her letter clutched in her hand, like a some lovesick fan. But she didn't care. He was right there.
The game had been a good one. Close. Exciting. With less than two minutes left in regulation, Chicago scored twice, tying and then taking the lead. It was nice to been here, Sid had to admit. Being with the guys he'd been able to forget everything else and just have some fun. They'd done some sightseeing, watched a good game and now they were in the hotel lounge chilling out for a while, everyone too amped to go to bed. He was happy with the result of the game. He needed the Canadiens to lose, especially after how they'd made mince meat of his team. Plus there were a lot of good guys on the Blackhawks, they were clearly the superior team.
The lounge wasn't completely his scene. It was louder than he really wanted to deal with and filled with crazed Blackhawk fans. The guys had wanted to keep drinking after the countless food and drink they'd enjoyed at the game. He didn't want to go up to the hotel room alone, so he'd agreed to join them. The plan was to drink enough that he could just pass out when he got to his room. Tomorrow he'd really have to make some decisions, but tonight was a night to just be carefree. Or at least as carefree as he was capable of.
Which wasn't much.
After hitting the bar for a round, he made his way to a quiet corner of the bar. The guys were chatting up girls and joking around with one another. He just wasn't into it, so he hung back. He watched everyone mostly. Every once in a while a fan would come up to him, he'd oblige an autograph or a picture, mindful to put his drink down and shove his hands in his pockets.
It was when he'd volunteered to get another round of drinks that he ran into her.
Hayden? Haley?
"Hayley" she'd said when she'd sidled up to him at the bar.
She was a marketing exec for Reebok. He'd met her a few times over the years. She was in town for the game but was pretty much working the whole time. She'd come to the bar to have a drink before heading to bed for an early flight, she told him.
She was pretty. Long dark hair, dark eyes but with a light complexion. Waves of curls flowed down her back, as she wore a black dress that clung to her generous and appealing curves.
They made chit chat at the bar as he waited for his drinks.
She was a nice girl. From Toronto. Canadian born and bred. Conversation flowed easily at the bar and for a brief moment Sid didn't feel the overwhelming loneliness that had loomed over him for weeks. When she mentioned that she was here alone, Sid jumped on the chance to hang out. Sulking in the corner, while his friends picked up puck bunnies was not his idea of fun, so instead the two found a table in the quieter VIP section and began chatting.
Hayley was so easy to talk to. They made small talk for a little bit, then she confessed that the company was highly welcomed as she had just broken up with her boyfriend of three years earlier in the week. A shadow crossed over her face as she fumbled over her words, explaining how distance and work had put a wedge between them that they just couldn't fix. Sid listened patiently as she lamented over the relationship and put his hand on her arm when she admitted sheepishly that this was not the time or the place to be crying in her gin and tonic over a lost love. Grateful the "relationship" wall had been broken down, Sid spilled his guts to Hayley about what had happened over the past few weeks and the two new friends spent a good while talking about how relationships can quickly disintegrate.
Upon hearing his story, Hayley urged Sid not to give up. His love story was too romantic to just fizzle out over missed connections and a severe lack of communication. That conversation was at drink one. By their fourth drink, the two were sharing stories of the great white north and laughing hysterically over a combination of Canadian humor and top shelf alcohol. Sid's whole body was buzzing. He finally felt like himself he thought, albeit his mind was pretty cloudy from the drinks. His heart was in shreds, but Hayley, she was just so nice. Funny and easy to talk to. Suddenly his mind shut down and his hand sneaked across the table and found Hayley's. She stopped mid joke telling and watched as his fingers intertwined in hers. She stared at their hands joined and then up at Sid. His face was slack, the whiskey he'd been drinking doing the job it was made to do. Wordlessly he gave a little tug and stood. Wide-eyed but silent Hayley stood and let him pull her through the dwindling crowd to the exit of the lounge and down a secluded hall. He maneuvered her against the wall and crushed his body against hers. Sloppily his mouth found hers, his tongue delving in, with his hands on her hips.
She had to leave.
That was her only thought. She needed to get out of there now.
The bar had been too full for her to get in. That and she wasn't dressed for such a fancy place. So instead she'd settled for cowering behind a pillar in the lobby, that gave her a view into the lobby lounge but kept her concealed from the party goers. She watched for a while, the lobby busy enough that the staff had given up on trying to weed out those staying at the hotel and those just trying to gleam off the celebrity atmosphere that was filling the air. She watched him as he chatted with the pretty woman. She looked nice. That was the hardest part to watch. She watched them chat easily and miserably admitted that they made a nice pair. She stared at the letter still in her hand and told herself to leave. Just go. Pretend this didn't happen. Go to Spain. Find herself. Come back to Pittsburgh and meet a nice man. An accountant or a fireman. Start over.
But she couldnt. She couldn't move an inch. So instead she watched them, like she was watching some overproduced Bravo reality show. And just when she couldn't watch anymore, she saw. She watched as he reached across the table and take the woman's hand. She watched the shock fill the woman's face and then they stood and slipped away.
And that was it.
Caroline rocked unsteadily against the pillar. Peeling herself away, she looked dizzily at the quieting lobby. Her feet moved towards the exit. He'd moved on, she thought as her surroundings became cloudy from the tears filling her eyes. She thought she might throw up. Spotting a woman's restroom, she beelined towards the door, not prepared to lose it in front of all these people. Instead she burst into the upscale washroom and looked down at the letter clenched in her hand. The tears now falling, she ripped the envelope once, then twice, three times, four. Then again. She tossed the pieces in a nearby garbage can and collapsed onto a sofa and burst into tears.
The room was silent except for the quiet sobs coming from her shaking figure. Then there was another voice. It was sharp and haughty. And even in her state, Caroline didn't need to look up to know who it was, but she did anyway. Through her tear soaked view stood Cameron.
They kissed passionately. At first it felt good. Sensations and arousal, forgetting and feeling all at the same time. But then it wasn't good. The intoxication of the kiss waned and then it felt sloppy and forced. Her mouth wasn't the right kind of soft. Her tongue not the warmth he'd become accustom to. Usually his hands curved over hips just so, but even that wasn't quite right. Not long after he initiated the lonely and desperate kiss, he ended it. Pulling away, he looked down at Hayley, and quickly realized she was the total package. Cute, fun, easy to talk to. Good job, a good Canadian girl. But she wasn't what he wanted. And he couldn't keep going, no matter how much his body craved human contact.
"What are you doing here?" Cameron asked, studying Caroline critically.
Caroline didn't know what to say. She was so out of place right now. So completely in the wrong place that seeing Cameron standing in front of her was laughable. Fully and totally laughable.
And so that's what she did.
She laughed.
Through tears and snot, heaving and shaking, she began to laugh.
And it wasn't pretty. In fact it looked pretty maniacal.
So maniacal that Cameron seemed to find herself caught off guard.
"What are you doing here?" Caroline managed to reply, between hiccups and wiping at her runny nose.
Cameron looked put out. "Working. It's the playoffs, I work for the league." Her voice holding an arrogant air to it.
Caroline choked out a hollow laugh. "Of course. Of course you would be here." Suddenly she looked up at the ceiling, "What did I do? Please what ever I did to deserve this I'm sorry." She gave another hollow laugh, "I'm so sorry."
Cameron took in the blubbering mess in front of her. She'd just left an after party in one of the ballrooms and was going to head into the lounge, when she stopped for a quick bathroom break. Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when she saw the familiar brown haired girl sobbing on the sofa. She knew they'd broken up. So why was Caroline here?
"What are you doing here?" Cameron's brain finding its voice and repeating herself.
Caroline swiped at her eyes and stood.
"Leaving," she said shortly.
Cameron couldn't help but marvel at the fact that she'd gotten to see her plan come to full fruition. From the make a wish, to the media leaks, it had all worked out so perfectly. She couldnt have asked for a more better turn out. Even watching the youtube videos of Sid and Caroline outside some bar having a meltdown, had been must see tv for her. But to see Caroline now? It was more than she could have hoped for. Now she just had one more part to go. Get Sid. It would happen, she thought confidently. Soon, she would break him down.
She'd seen him arrive Thursday morning and had finagled a few "chance encounters" but nothing had materialized. But it would. She was confident that it would.
Caroline walked slowly towards the exit, when Cameron spoke, "Sorry about you and Sid. A shame, truly."
Caroline didnt need to see Cameron to know she was smiling.
Suddenly Caroline had a purpose. It may not be getting a letter to Sid, or professing her love and apologies to him, but it was important just the same. She needed Cameron to know a few things. Specifically exactly what she thought of the conniving PR witch.
Caroline rounded on the woman, the tears gone, as pure rage filled her veins.
"You're a bitch." Caroline seethed.
Cameron actually looked surprised. "Excuse me?" Her eyes narrowed on the mess of a girl in front of her.
"You heard me. You are nothing but a low rate, evil, ugly bitch."
Cameron barked a laugh and plucked a piece of invisible lint from her skin tight red dress. She was a Blackhawks fan now. "Ugly? Are you kidding, you're calling me ugly?" She gave Caroline a once over, "You should talk."
Caroline didn't miss a beat, "You're ugly on the inside. You try so hard. I know what you've done. You think I'm some naive idiot, who doesn't know a thing about what's happening around her, but you're wrong. I know you've done nothing but sabotage me and Sid's relationship since day one. Well congratufuckinglations. You got what you wanted. We're over. Done. Aren't you so proud of yourself?"
Cameron narrowed her eyes, "Don't blame me for your failed relationship." She looked haughtily at Caroline and flashed her ring, "I have a man. Which is more than I can say for you."
Caroline nearly tackled the arrogant woman, but instead picked her words carefully. "Then where is he? Huh? Because all I see when I see you is a lonely sad person. Someone who has to ruin other people's relationship because despite having this 'fiancee,' throws herself at other people's boyfriends. Well guess what? Sid doesn't like you. Not even a little bit. All this work for nothing because he's never going to want you. Never. And I know it kills you and you hate me because of it. Because I know what its like to kiss him, to touch him, to feel him. And you won't. Ever. Because no matter what, I know he will NEVER WANT YOU. Never. And you can try and and play all your tricks but he's not stupid. He'll see how sad you are. How utterly desperate you are. I can't prove what you did, but I know. And at least after this is all over, I can still look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed of who I am. You think you're accomplishing something, that some plan is going to finally come together, but it's not. It's just not." Caroline shook her head sadly. "You're not going to get him. I'm not either, but at least I can live with myself."
"I don't know about that." Cameron said snootily.
Caroline narrowed her eyes at the woman, "Are you sure? Because I can tell you, you're not even an option. So all your hard work is for nothing. He's got some girl from the bar and I've got a broken heart and you? You have nothing." Caroline spat the words at Cameron, "You have nothing. You're alone. And I have to believe that when you go to sleep, you know it. You know how sad and pathetic you are. You're a bully, and not even a good one. I let you talk and treat me like I was some fan off the street, but not now. I might never see you again, but I know that right now you know that I feel sorry for you. I pity you. Because you act like you have it all together and you dont. You pretend. And I see right through you. So good for you. Broke up Sid and I, but now what? Because I can tell you right now, he's out there." Caroline gestured towards the door, the blood in her veins raging like a stormy river. "And he's with someone else." To her horror, she felt the tears return, "He's with someone and it's not me. But it's not you either."
Cameron felt the ice water run through her veins. She'd hoped to run into him at the lounge. Work her magic. The fake engagement ring would come off as soon as he said the word. It had been so easy to make up a fiancee. From the moment she joined the organization, she'd set her sights on him. Playing hard to get, by sticking that ridiculous ring on her finger had been the first part of her plan. Then it became Operation Breakup. Get Sid and fucking Pollyanna apart. Then she'd make her move. But it was going off the rails. Nothing was turning out like she thought.
"I feel sorry for you." Caroline's voice was quiet. "I feel sorry for you because you are like how I was."
Cameron scoffed, "We are nothing alike."
Caroline continued as if she didn't hear the woman, "You've never known love. If you had, you wouldn't have done what you did. It's ok, I didn't know either, not at first. I thought it was optional, something a person didn't need to get through life. It was some sort of added bonus but not required. I was wrong. Loving someone is the most important thing you can do in life. Completely giving yourself up to another person. It's terrifying. But even though its scary its totally worth it. Because there is someone there. Someone who loves you for all your flaws. Someone that sees the best in you, even when you don't see it yourself. Even you, Cameron, someone will love you. If you let them. Love isn't a trick. It's not a strategy. It's not being at the right place at the right time. Love is messy and inconvenient. It comes when you don't want it or need it. It comes and it doesn't care what else you have going on. It barges in and if you welcome it, if you let it in, its the most amazing thing you've ever felt. And no matter what you did or how you did it. I'm lucky because I felt it. If only for just a little bit. And if you knew even a little of how powerful it is, you wouldn't have done what you did. I'm sure you could care less about what I'm saying, but if this night has had any purpose its been for me to tell you, that you may be a mean and terrible person, but you're not unworthy of love. Pure, true, love. Everyone deserves that, no matter who they are.
The tears streamed down her face, but Caroline didn't try to wipe them away. She was so tired. So so tired. But she had to get this last part out.
"You'll find someone. Even as much as I hate you, I know you will."
Cameron, who'd fallen into a haze listening Caroline's rant, jerked at the words.
Caroline managed a small smile, "No matter what you've done, you're still worth being loved. And it will happen and when it does, you'll know how wrong this all was. What you did. I have to believe that. I have to believe that because I believe now. No matter how terrible I feel now. I got to love someone. And it was the most amazing thing. I don't hate you, Cameron. I don't even feel bad for you. I just hope that you realize, someday, that you can't make someone love you. No matter how hard you try. It just happens. Stupidly and wonderfully. You'll know. When it happens, you'll know.
And then without another word, or even taking a moment for Cameron to reply, Caroline pressed her hands against her cheeks, clearing the tears and walked out of the bathroom.
Four weeks later...
The Spanish sun was hottest in the mid morning. Caroline wiped at her brow as she leaned over Tomas, pointing out the small mistake he'd made in his work that caused the answer to his word problem to be incorrect. She and her students were studying in an open pavilion, no air conditioning in the small town, although a breeze from the nearby sea usually brought relief, but not today. A small wobbly desk and chalkboard were set up at the front and the children lined up at the various picnic tables hunched over their worksheets that were introducing them to the scourge of mathematics: word problems.
Tomas nodded and erased the error and corrected his work. Satisfied, Caroline lifted her long curly hair and dreamed for relief from the sticky heat teaching so close to the water provided her. Fanning her neck, she walked back towards the front of the makeshift classroom. The sun was nearly blinding, but as found herself pulled away by another student who was stumped by their worksheet, she saw a figure. Strong and sure and he was walking towards the pavilion. At first she couldn't make him out. The sun was too fierce. But then her vision cleared and she could see. She could see who it was.
And suddenly everything changed.
***Author's note: So this chapter is hella long. I was going to break it into two chapters, but found that useless since this is all the stuff I wanted to get in for broken heart part 2. I originally was going to end at Caroline leaving the bathroom, but I thought that was too tortorous. We need some good news here or at least hopeful news. Next chapter we will find out some back story, namely how we are now at the point where this chapter ends. It is terrible unedited and forgive me for parts that make no sense or repeat themselves. I had a few glasses of wine and at 6,000 words my eyes started to go crossed. I know the "break up period" had been long and brutal, but the the upswing is coming. I promise! As always, I live for reviews and feedback. Have to say I am thoroughly enjoying Sid in Sochi so far. As an American, I am torn as to who to root for...so I'm hoping for a USA/Canada tie.***