Boogeymen III: House Of 1000 Cliches Chapter 5: Howitzer Helper, a teen titans fanfic

Part 5: Howitzer Helper

You should have listened to me. You shouldn't have cut me off. As this story is now cursed! It will never finish! It didn't last year, and it won't now! Not by Halloween and maybe ever! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

…….Lord, you idiot. It loses some of its effect that way, but I doubt everyone would stop reading it just because it misses Halloween.

Um…er…

You wanna act tough? Fine. You can be the official bubble-giver of the story. Every time someone or something new shows up, you can explain it to the readers! You wanted a role, you got it, jackass.

I AM NOT SOME PRODUCER OF INANE TRIVIA!

You are now. Maybe you'll learn not to talk back to the author this way.

DAMN YOU ALL!

"So what is next, Krueger?" The Lieutenant asked, the other two ever silent as they stood around Freddy's throne.

"Well now…" Freddy said, observing his screen. "Considering how violently they obliterated my army of 'peers', one should think big."

"You mean as such…?" The Lieutenant said, gesturing to the screen.

Cyborg was looking at the wall when the shadow fell over him, and he turned around just as the form came crashing down.

It was tall and spindly, yet rippled with formed and horrifically powerful muscles, thick knobs of bony mass protruding from its shoulders, its muscles tight over its ribs in an almost emancipated appearance, its hands and feet incredibly elongated and also frightfully strong, tipped with deadly claws. A short prehensile tail trailed from its back, and its head was slightly elongated as well, ending in a mouth of sharp teeth and blank, soulless eyes, as it pounced on Cyborg, driving him to the ground, howling into his face as its claws began to tear into Cyborg's chest…

Even as Cyborg rammed his sonic cannon into the demon's chest in turn.

"I just had that buffed and shined, asshole!"

The point-blank blast blew the demon off, but did not appear to stun it much, as it landed on all fours like a cross between a cat and a monkey. It would have attacked the robotic teen again, if a blaze of Starbolts and thrown rocks didn't fly at it, forcing it to retreat…into the hands of a Megatherium giant ground sloth, who smashed the creature with his giant, powerful claws and sent it flying right through the nearest wall.

"I thought you said using any of those prehistoric animal forms again constituted a war crime in your opinion. And after all the trouble I went to to look them up." Savior said as he landed near Beast Boy, who had turned human again.

"I don't think the Geneva Accord ever said anything involving chaos magic monsters from horror films." Beast Boy replied. "Which one is this again?"

"Pumpkinhead." Raven said as she popped up from the shadows, her cloak torn.

With a low growl, Pumpkinhead stalked out of the hole, apparently not bothered too much by Beast Boy's blow.

"Stubborn bastard." Savior muttered.

"Keep away from Pumpkinhead, unless you're tired of living. His enemies are mostly dead, he's mean and unforgiving. Bolted doors and windows barred, guard dogs prowling in the yard, won't protect you in your bed. Nothing will, from Pumpkinhead." Raven recited. The Titans glanced at her. "Part of the poem that inspired the film. You're surprised I know it?"

"I don't think the poet ever met anyone like us." Savior said, as the Shimmer flowed out and formed into various weapons.

"TITANS, GO!" Robin yelled.

Starfire and Raven fired projectiles to throw the demonic Pumpkinhead off guard, while Robin, Savior, and Nigel went in immediately afterward, but neither attack worked well, as Pumpkinhead avoided the projectiles and then smacked away Savior and Robin with a blow apiece, before Scalpel jumped on it and dug in with his claws, drawing a howl of pain from the creature as it thrashed and tried to pull the alien off.

"REALLY stubborn." Savior said as he got up, blinking the spots of his vision away as Gauntlet landed next to him.

"…Say, I know what would be helpful! BETELGEUSE BETELGEUSE BETEL-!"

Savior's violent punch sent Gauntlet sprawling.

"I apologize for that, but really, I think even you can see my justification." Savior said, and leapt to attack again.

"No no." Freddy said, as the Titans battled with Pumpkinhead. "Think bigger."

Gizmo was, as he would tell you, a genius. And while his talents mostly lay in mechanics, he was a smart cookie all around. He knew a few things about animals, including the fact that pigs could grow to giant sizes.

They could NOT, however, grow to the size of a rhinoceros.

Which made the fact that there was a wild boar the size of a rhino charging down the hallway after Gizmo and his Hive companions all the worse. Not that a rhinoceros would be much better in that regard, but this gigantic boar seemed to be worse because it also wanted to eat them.

"This just keeps getting worse by the fucking second!" Sabotage snarled, his probability powers having proven not to work on the creature.

"How did we end up in this situation anyway?" Progeny asked.

"The damn thing snuck up on us!" Billy Numerous said, as he fled with the group in several bodies.

"SNUCK UP ON YOU? THAT DAMN THING MAKES AS MUCH NOISE AS A LOCOMOTIVE TRAIN! HOW COULD IT HAVE CAUGHT YOU BY SURPRISE?" Flay yelled.

"…wow, good for it!" Buzz Bomb commented. The running Hive members gave him a dirty look.

"Mammoth, go mash it into bacon or something!" Progeny yelled.

"You nuts? A super-large boar plus oily, greasy fur plus 15 inch tusks is a losing proposition! Even I KNOW THAT!"

"Why hasn't anyone tried shooting it!" Sabotage yelled as the group rounded a corner.

"You think that wasn't the first thing I tried? That damn aberration has virtually no nervous system! Conventional weapons will barely scratch it!" Gizmo yelled.

"And where are all your UNCONVENTIONAL weapons?" Flay asked.

"Uh well, um, trigger happy with goblins, drained power packs, uh…forget it!" Gizmo yelled, as the group kept fleeing.

As the door in front of them opened, and Brother Blood stepped out.

"THERE YOU ARE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING…!"

"Run now yell later, headmaster!" Flay yelled as the group pushed past Blood. Furious, he whirled around

"YOU DEFY…wait…this happened the last time, why was…" Blood said, as he turned around again…and found himself face to face with a nine-ton boar. "Mommy."

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP!

Razorback ran on, leaving a mashed Brother Blood in his wake.

"Well, the Headmaster's dead…again. You know what this means?" Buzz Bomb said.

"Four day weekend?" Mammoth said.

"Four day weekend." Buzz Bomb replied.

"THERE WILL BE NO FOUR DAY WEEKENDS WHILE THERE IS STILL BREATH IN MY BODY!" Blood's voice yelled over the Hive's communicators.

"Isn't that pretty much what I said?" Buzz Bomb replied.

"I'M NOT DEAD YOU IDIOTS!"

"Ah nuts." Buzz Bomb said, and pulled out a cell phone. "Hey Captain Boomerang? Yeah, cancel the keg."

"Ugghhhh…" Blood moaned where he had been trampled. "They'd throw a four day party if I died? …Well, Machiavelli always said it was better to be feared then loved."

"Too true, too true!" Freddy said. "But even that's too small, lieutenant. I plan on thinking big."

And Freddy looked away from the screens…and onto the massive form before him, the size of an 18 wheeler truck.

"And I mean BIG!"

Argh, dammit, this is below me…(DO YOUR JOB!) …ugh, Fine.

Pumpkinhead is from a movie called, well, Pumpkinhead. He's a demon of vengeance. I can relate. They made three sequels. The only ones who can relate to that kind of stupidity are probably the people reading this

(STOP INSULTING THE READERS!)

I'm the BAD GUY, remember oh creator. So are, you know, the main characters in this story? If the readers want charm and friendliness, they can go look somewhere else, because I still proclaim them idiots, and you a bigger one.

(Get back to work, or I'll make sure you're the star of Unseen Attractions 2)

NO! NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Ugh.

And for the other one, Razorback is from a film called…Razorback, yeah, I'm real surprised by the lack of originality too. It's about a gigantic mutant boar stomping around the veldt of Australia that…ok no, I can't go on. You stupid filmmakers! THE ONLY NATIVE PLACENTAL MAMMALS IN AUSTRALIA ARE BATS! Rabbits breaking out and reproducing, yes. Frogs? Totally. Camels? Introduced intentionally. BUT NO BOARS, DUMBASS! DO SOME FUCKING RESEARCH!

Plus, it's Australia. I don't care how big you are, if it goes down to the river it's gonna get snapped up by a croc.

Or maybe the ghost of Steve Irwin.

Yeah, I went there.

"Y'know, I've always wondered." The Handyman said, as he sat on what remained of the table section of the bar, looking over what remained of the really messed up Villain's Café. Sorceress was shrinking down the boxes of weapons again after everyone had reloaded, and Slade was busy outfitting Brick has a pack mule of sorts, having the bundles of weapons Killjoy had made earlier strapped to his back. There was also a giant gun near the pair, which Slade apparently wanted Brick to wield (he had a few other giant guns near the bar, most likely for Adonis). The rest of the bar was pretty much just sitting around, resting after the attack of the slasher army.

"What, man?" Adonis asked.

"How much wood was used to make Puppet King?"

"Huh?" Puppet King said: yes, he was still alive, sliced and diced and chipped but still working, his wooden body making the chops he had taken the equivalent of being covered with bruises.

"Why?" Dr. Light asked as well.

"Well, it's such a waste of a good…" Handyman said, as he trailed off, looking uncertain, and then he leaned down and knocked on Puppet King twice. "Oak. I bet I could make some kickass bookends out of 'im."

"WHAT?" The marionette yelled.

"Oh be quiet dude. Once you got hit by that slasher you completely vanished from the last part: the author didn't even bother giving you a line to make the readers know you were still around, that's how important you are." Adonis said.

CRASH!

"The next one person who wrecks the fourth wall gets shot." Slade said calmly.

"At least I wasn't under it this time…" Puppet King moaned to himself.

"I mean, sure, there's some damage where he got axed and sliced and stuff, but what's left could be awesome." Handyman said.

"Stop talking like I'm here and completely useless!" Puppet King protested.

"What kind of bookends?" Adonis asked.

"Y'know, anything ya want. Frogs, horses, naked chicks…"

"How much would you charge for that last one?"

"Oh, fifty bucks."

"SLADE! SLADE!" Puppet King yelled as he waved his arms. "THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MAKING ME BOOKENDS!"

"Really. Where is the part where I should care?"

"Uh…"

"I'm not your mother. Tattling to me every time you get in an argument isn't a good use of time." Slade said, and resumed tying stuff to Brick's back.

"BUT!"

"QUIET. If you keep this up, YOU'RE KINDLING." Slade snapped.

"Hey, I already called dibs on him being bookends!" Adonis called.

The wall next to Adonis exploded.

"The only reason you're alive is we may yet need your muscle. Quit while I still think you're necessary." Slade said.

"Well, whatever the case, still a waste of good wood." Handyman said. The Puppet King sighed.

"This might explain why I never appear in the Legendverse before or after this…" Puppet King lamented.

CRASH!

"Oops."

Slade's shotgun blast sent Puppet King flying into yet another wall, his body damaged again, but still fully functional. He groaned.

"Unlike this story, I do not joke." Slade said.

CRASH!

"…So does that mean you're going to shoot yourself now Slade?' Dr. Light asked.

The wall next to the photokinetic exploded, and he screamed and once again hid under a table.

"I'm not sure what's more of a waste of ammo: if these are warning shots or if they AREN'T warning shots." Slade said, not liking the concept that the atmosphere was screwing with his aim, as the Sorceress grudgingly approached the mercenary and put the traveling size boxes of guns and ammo in his hands. Slade pocketed them.

"Very good. One last thing Ithlian. See if you can't weave a spell on Brick's back to make absolutely sure those bundles don't fall off. Brick, don't go anywhere, as soon as I look something over I'm going to be back here with new instructions." Slade said, and walked several steps over to inspect the giant gatling gun that the mercenary had had removed from one of the boxes while reloading and rearming. The Sorceress snorted and looked at Brick, who didn't seem to mind too much about being turned into a pack mule.

"I might currently be at a disadvantage, but I don't see why you allow him to order you around now. You absorbed a blast from his weapon earlier without too much harm, and your power will have only increased, if but a bit, since then. So why let him treat you as a tool to be used?"

"He said he did not want to use Adonis. Something how he had severe doubts about his mental state." Brick said. "Besides…it does me no harm. If I have this strength, I may as well use it."

"Yes, but that kind of attitude tends to be focused in a different direction, at least from all the muscleheads I know. Yet you…why protect me Brick?'

"Vogel."

"Brick, that's the name I know. Guarding me for self-interest is one thing, but people who do that will only stick their neck out so much, if at all. You're not just doing that, you're almost taunting the guillotine to come down. Which is immensely strange considering the type of people we are 'supposed to be', at least in the feeble little specks the Titans and their fellows call brains." Sorceress said, as she plucked a few strings from what was left of her immensely low reserves and cast a relatively simple binding spell; enough to make sure the packages Slade had made stayed on during such things as motion or impact, but came off if a hand grabbed and yanked.

"You know my past pretty well." Brick said.

"…No, I don't." Sorceress said, as she walked around the front of Brick and cracked her fingers, loosening them up. "As far as I could tell, you were just some big idiot who listens to everything he was told. Or WERE, pardon me."

"Oh." Brick said. "Sorry, it's hard to remember who was told. Since at the time I was, well…"

"A blabbering fool."

"I protest. I never blabbered." Brick said. "I'm a biochemist by trade, and a damned good one at that. I learned that I was dying of a muscle condition. I was exercising right, eating a lot more protein than I really needed, and I was still wasting away, all due to a cruel quirk of my genetics. I was prescribed steroids, but nothing legal was strong enough to stop it. And I thought to myself, 'Here I am, a brilliant mind. I spent more than half my life learning how the human body works, and here I am dying of nothing that thirty years of training and experience prepared me for.' That was NOT acceptable."

"It never is, is it." The Sorceress said, in a strangely wistful tone that Brick couldn't quite nail down.

"No. So, I developed a formula that would basically tell my body to start building muscle mass at a fast enough rate that it would initially exceed the rate of degeneration, then match it."

"But you didn't bother testing it…"

"That was the trouble. I didn't have time for proper testing. And I misjudged how much I would need." Brick said, and gestured at the massive slab of muscle his body was now. "When I took it, I was about six feet tall, and while my muscular build was decent it swung more behind small and defined then giant masses of meat. The formula worked, stopping the degeneration…but my muscles kept growing and growing. I don't know how my bones grew as much as they did, considering the formula wasn't supposed to do that…the other problem of jumping straight to human testing. And the formula had another, worse unexpected side effect…you see, my formula consisted of various unpleasant chemicals in order to aid the steroids in jumpstarting my muscular growth, but I erred in more then one way in my haste when designing it, and as I found it, that error lay in that my body could not process the formula and flush it out of my system, like if it were say, alcohol. It's still in there." Brick said. "The trouble was, that mixture put a lot of strain on my organs when it was first in there. Caused them all minor damage. However, once the 'beneficial' part of the formula kicked in and started mutating my body, the rate of damage was greatly decreased: most of the enhanced healing actually exceeded the rate of damage. Unfortunately, it could not provide a healing factor for cells that do not naturally grow back. Those are two types in particular. The brain, and the nervous system."

"So shouldn't you be in a wheelchair then?"

"Oh no, lucky me. It seemed I had a genetic setup so it didn't damage my peripheral nervous system, and essentially left my central nervous system alone…except for, as you may have guessed, the brain." Brick said, with a bitter smirk. "By the time I caught on that something was wrong…well, it was too late: I'd suffered too much brain damage to remember where I'd PUT the formula, much less how to counteract it. At first, the brain damage caused me to revert to a more brutish, animal mindset, but even then I was susceptible to suggestion. It's similar to how the voodoo zombie works, actually: when you lose your sense of self, others can fill the void. Regrettably, those with less then honorable intentions found me first, and before I knew it I was a 'super villain'. And from that there was pretty much no going back, as my mindset decreased even more, going from brutish to child-like, to the point where I had to exert deep effort just to get out simple sentences, understand basic things…I suspect that should I revert to my damaged self when this magical curse is lifted it will continue until I am completely vegetative. Which brings up another question: I don't know WHY my intellect was restored when my strength was locked away. It just was."

"That's chaos magic for you. If one goes down, the other must go up. Does it make sense? Does it follow the rules of biology or even basic physics? Who cares? That's why it's called CHAOS magic. Tasty stuff…but in the way a fugu fish is." The Sorceress said.

"…It still doesn't make sense…then again, none of my life has made sense ever since I made that damned formula." Brick said.

"At least you're still alive."

"Alive? To a very real extent, I've been dead for five years."

"Bah." The Sorceress semi-spat, apparently ticked off at Brick's choice of words. "You humans. You create your precious field called science, and then you proceeded to fail in it over and over and over, unable to get ANYTHING right in the setup you so eagerly embraced. You only find cures and beneficial processes by sheer chance, while you endlessly slave away at creating poisons, foulness, choking oblivion, paving over and crushing all that's natural, sucking the life from it…even when you try to do something, try and utilize what you created well…try and make a balance…all you can think of is not what can it do for you but what can it twist and ruin next…to the point where you have no choice but to kill someone to free them from the curse…always…all the time…" The Sorceress said, as she trailed off from her rant from the look Brick was giving her.

"Are you quite done yet?"

"You'd think my words would ring especially true to you."

"That's because you misunderstand. I know I messed up. That's what science is all about: messing up and figuring out why. Excuse us if we haven't had as long as you magicians to test the limits of our field. Besides…it wasn't science that turned these stupid movies real."

"Hmmpphh. Well, Control Freak has…but overall, I suppose." The Sorceress said, as she sat down in another chair. "Still, my whole point was that your behavior is not exactly self-preserving."

"I'm not like you people." Brick said. "I'm not a bad person. A flawed person, definitely. But not a bad person."

"Then perhaps you don't belong?" Sorceress posed.

"…Probably not. But at the moment, I don't have much of a choice. But at least I HAVE a choice now. I've spent years serving others against my will. And I do honestly think…"

Brick trailed off so abruptly for a moment Sorceress thought he'd been sneak-killed, but no new threat had emerged: Brick was just staring ahead.

"Brick? Brick?"

Brick blinked.

"…Right. I honestly think that you are the key to our survival as a whole." Brick said. Sorceress raised an eyebrow, wondering about the abrupt pause.

She came to a few conclusions, but none that did anyone any good if they were raised. So she stayed silent.

"So I'll do that. I'm tough. Why not take a few hits for the team? Let there be ONE hero in this den of iniquity."

"That may not be the wisest yoke to take." Slade said as he suddenly spoke up, having returned to the pair. "While the lesser skilled of us 'self-serving rogues' may have met early and unpleasant ends, it's those who foolishly decide to be noble who often die last."

"Well Slade, if I do die, I'm going to go with a song in my heart. And I'll inflict it on the lot of you with my voice, and you'll probably wish you died instead."

"Hmmmmm. Perhaps." Slade replied. "I have finished the weapons inspections Brick, so come with me so we can properly outfit you. It should not be hard with your size and strength, but just to be certain…" Slade said, as he turned and headed back for the giant gatling gun, Brick following with slow, careful steps.

"Sheesh." Blackfire said, sitting at the bar again. "Someone turn on the air conditioning. It's too hot."

"…Um…uhhh…" Adonis said.

"WHAT?"

"…You're wearing three sweaters?"

"SO?"

"…What do sweaters do?"

"Oh gee, MAKE THINGS HOT, GENIUS. TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING."

"Uh…or maybe you could…take a sweater or two off?"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you, you horndog. The thought of my soft, supple flesh makes you horny, doesn't it? NOW DO WHAT I SAID!"

"…I don't know how to turn on the air conditioning. That was Punk Rocket's job."

"THEN GET GOING AND FIND IT!" Blackfire roared, as she formed a good-sized Blackbolt. Adonis fled the bar.

"…Bitch." Kurai commented.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

There was a series of clicks as Kurai, Rose, and even Slade all aimed guns at the alien.

"An accuracy. Fall silent." Slade said. Blackfire glared at them, and then grabbed her bottle of alcohol and retreated a few stools down.

"Well, it is reassuring that someone has had their personality unchanged." Kurai commented. Slade glanced at his apprentice, unable to tell if he was being sarcastic.

Farther down the bar, Jack sat, drinking yet another bottle of alcohol. Despite his insane constitution, even he was starting to feel the effects…and it wasn't helping his thought process any, as he looked across the bar. He only had eyes for one man: 'Doctor' Westminster, who seemed to be eager to prove his name or keep up his act as he looked at the White Hole's injuries suffered from the gunfire she'd absorbed.

Bah. Such behavior was not fitting from a man who had any sense of pride. Who helped birdies? They were there to screw, not patch up! Make them bleed, not stop! Of course, that was just one of many things wrongs with the 'good doctor', along with his convenience at showing up, his furtive motions to keep his face hidden, and the fact that he actually had wandered off and came back, and who knew what he'd done in that time frame?

Why couldn't anyone SEE it? It was right in front of them!

Oh right, Jack knew.

"They all think I'm mad." Jack said, to himself and mostly quiet, as he took another swig. "Yep, old mad Jack. That's all I am!…They're probably right. Wait, would it be out of character to admit that? Oh, who cares? But still! I'M RIGHT ABOUT THIS! I KNOW I'M RIGHT ABOUT THIS! That Westminster has to be a spy!"

And who says there HAS to be a spy, a voice chimed in somewhere.

"Oh there's a spy! THAT KNOCKOFF RUINED IT LAST YEAR. I would have won! But it had to be the thief! And on top of that who knew Slade would make millions betting a few cents on Buzz Bomb? WHO KNEW THAT USELESS BASTARD WOULD LAST MORE THEN FIVE SECONDS? Well fuck it, fuck it all. I know. And y'know what else? I'm gonna win, win what who knows, but I'm gonna win and then I'm going to get me a birdie, like maybe the bitch who's been muttering down at the other end of the bar for five minutes straight GOD she's annoying…but yeah. It's gotta be Westminster. Because…he's British. And pointy. JUST LIKE WHATHISNAME, CAPTAIN GRAYSTROKE or whatever he's called. The alien what ain't a birdy. But only I know. But fuck all those fucks. This experience has taught me that I only have two friends. Jack Daniels and The Great Gazoo." Jack said, as he looked up at the floating green alien.

"You wish, dumb dumb. I'm sick of your homicidal perversion. I'm going back to Bedrock."

Jack's hand jerked up as he seized the Great Gazoo and strangled the life out of him.

"That was for the last season of the Flintstones, you prick." Jack said, as he tossed the body aside.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Blackfire snapped.

"No." Jack replied.

"…Did you just strangle thin air for some reason?"

"That's what YOU think."

"Whatever." Blackfire said, and went elsewhere.

"Stupid Gazoo. It was your cousin Gazork that made me find out how fun chokin' the life out birdies was, I guess you're no better then the thief…" Jack said, and continued to ramble on in a quasi-drunken manner.

Westminster was at the moment unaware of just how Jack's toxic suspicions were stewing in his mind, as he was doing his job and looking over the White Hole. At Nightwalker's request, he noted, as the alien didn't seem to care she had been a step away from being turned into swiss cheese. Westminster had met the type before, the 'real-deal blowhards', who were legitimately tough, and tough as hell, but unable to accept themselves from being anything less then invincible. A few of them were in charge of what had happened to him, after all.

Still, he was impressed.

"Your armor managed to block or deflect most of the shots." Westminster said as he got up. "Those that went in, they didn't go far. Your skin seemed to absorb a lot of the impact, and your muscles and bones…well let's just say I'm impressed how they could be so dense while still allowing swift movement."

"My reputation is not unearned." The White Hole said, and waved the doctor off. Westminster looked a touch insulted, as he had been trying to help, but then again such was the way of these types, as Westminster nodded to Nightwalker and moved on. At least the newly blonde girl nodded back.

"Are you satisfied?" The White Hole said to Nightwalker.

"I know that outside that fluke of a manifestation with a gun, which was unexpected, you annihilated the competition. But there's no guarantee that whatever comes next will be handled with similar ease. Best to know your body will be up to the task."

"You should be more concerned with yours." The White Hole said. "Even with your new weapon."

"…Yeah…" Nightwalker said, as she brought the elongated, curved blade before her, drawing it from the sheath. Light reflected along its surface.

"That is an extraordinarily crafted weapon." The White Hole said. "Almost tragic that was so unrecognized for the blade to be kicked into a corner."

"Well, I don't think anyone at the time knew a katana would come in handy." Nightwalker replied.

"True." Slade said, having come near the pair while they were speaking due to the motion of his other tasks. "But that's not a katana Miss Sine. That's a nodachi, a larger variant of the katana…which brings up a question. May I see that blade, Miss Sine?"

Nightwalker handed it over.

"Hmmmmmmmm…interesting. The nodachi was not used as much as some Japanese weapons due to several issues, including weight. An amateur should not be able to just pick the sword up and swing it around like it is a toy, and I assume you are an amateur, Miss Sine."

"Pretty much."

"Yet this blade feels like it weights about as much as a rapier, if that." Slade said, as he placed the sword on his outstretched hand with the other and then let go. The blade stayed there, balanced on Slade's hand. "Perfectly balanced as well. Which should not be the case with the weapon as mysteriously light as it is."

"That is because of this." The Sorceress said as she came over herself and pointed. "Turn the blade over Slade."

Slade did so…and finally saw the myriad amount of etchings on the other side, running the entire length of the metal.

"Magic runes. More then a few forbidden ones that require blood sacrifice among them…though in a group like this, forbidden is a relative term." The Sorceress said. "Runes of skill and runes of balance. That's why the sword feels so light to you, and yet is perfectly level. That's not all. There's runes of endurance, they keep the sword from breaking and dulling, and runes of sharpening, far more then needed really, that explained why you were able to cut through the chaos manifestations like they were butter instead of flesh and bone young lady. I suspect this blade could cut through steel, there's so many runes enhancing its edge. And there's a few runes that related to the Lord's powers that won't work for you at all, Nightwalker, but I will say the basic setup gives you enough favor…all things considered." Sorceress said, looking at Nightwalker's 'cursed parts'.

"Can you do ANYTHING about that?" Nightwalker asked.

"Maybe if I was stronger…and inclined to. And that is why I must speak to you Slade." The Sorceress said.

"As you will." Slade replied, as he gave the sword back and went off with the master mage. Nightwalker looked at the blade again…as it was finally illuminated in such a way that she could read the name on the side in front of her, the other side being covered with runes.

"Lightscourge." Nightwalker read out loud, and gave the blade a few experimental swings, marveling at just how weightless the blade seemed.

"You think he'd mind you using that?" The White Hole asked.

"He's dead. If I hadn't used it, I might be dead as well. And not just me. I think that's all the justification I need." Nightwalker said, as she lowered Lightscourge back into her lap.

"…Right." The White Hole said. "Speaking of which…thanks."

Nightwalker looked at the alien, arching an eyebrow.

"Not that I'm doubting the truth of your words…just curious: how long has it been since you thanked another being?"

"Honestly?"

"I'd prefer it."

"In your terms of time…long. Very long…maybe too long. I was a member of the elite, perhaps the most powerful that all Blacktrinians living today had ever seen…I didn't need to thank people."

"Well, I suppose that's to be expected. Not to mention you probably wouldn't be prone to thinking you'd thank someone you'd written off as dead."

The White Hole's face was unreadable, but Nightwalker took that in stride.

"…Then again, that was only…human of you. A touch too human, if you know what I mean, but I guess for the sake of the survival, I will not act human in turn and hold it against you." Nightwalker said, and gave Lightscourge a twirl. "Let this atmosphere, this world, target me as it will. I won't bow to it."

"…Actually…I'm going to be honest with you now." The White Hole said. "It wasn't for the same reason the others had."

"Oh, really? What was it then?"

The White Hole was silent, clearly not happy with the train of thought she'd followed earlier. The type of silence that ended conversations without answers, Nightwalker noted.

"Do you still think the reason true?"

The White Hole remembered the way Nightwalker had carved her way across the room, after the manifestation had surprised her, and how the only bad luck had befallen those she had struck down. Yet…such beliefs were eons old in the Empire, could one really just shuck them off…

…

"…I have my doubts." The White Hole said. "But I'm willing to overlook them, as it's not the real you."

"I'll take that." Nightwalker said, and offered a hand. The White Hole stared at it, confused as hell. "Oh, sorry. They don't have a gesture like that where you come from?"

"What…uh…well in a sense…" The White Hole said, and put her hand in Nightwalker's in a comradely clench…

That White Hole slammed on the 'brakes' in a screaming, too close fashion, literally a quarter of a second before she crushed the woman's hand into a bloody piece of gristle. Not because of some reason like say, she harbored her true feelings inside and they were hostile, but because of the simple reason that the White Hole had not shaken hands or anything in that vein for…possibly ever. And more importantly, even though it was still considerably sealed, her strength outclassed Nightwalker's many times: she could cripple the girl without having any intention to.

And it struck her, even as she managed a safe handshake, just how breakable the girl was. She'd escaped from some lackluster (well, in some ways at least) killers, but who knew what was going to come? And only Freddy knew when it was going to end…which reminded the White Hole of what Nightwalker had said.

The longer the effect is in place, the stronger it becomes.

And the stronger the dangers that would come in turn, White Hole mused. That was troubling enough…but one look at Nightwalker, with her ballooned mammeries and newly blonde hair, reminded the White Hole how the atmosphere had personally targeted her. It hadn't worked so far…but that was so far.

And yet, Nightwalker showed little concern, taking things as they came. And not in the way the White Hole had once done so, blithely considering herself invincible and unstoppable (until life had taught her the hard way how wrong she was). No, she knew she was breakable, that she was personally vulnerable…and yet she looked upon it with as calm and measured a viewpoint as any warrior the White Hole had ever known.

And the White Hole doubted Nightwalker had her…special setup.

Her death seemed almost guaranteed. A death that might be demeaning, agonizing, and gruesome. The White Hole knew a few things about such deaths, and how one could tell what a creature truly was when faced with such a possibility.

And Nightwalker…a human…was…hmmmm.

She was swinging Lightscourge around again, trying to adjust herself with the weapon, and the White Hole shook off her musing.

"Have you been trained with blades?" She asked.

"A very brief lessons. The very bare basics." Nightwalker said, as she chopped with the sword. "All the runes on this thing should help…as long as they last, if that is the case."

"Well, there are a few universal rules with blades." The White Hole said. "I assume you know the best place to go for is the head."

"Yes…but what if they don't have a head?"

"…Well…yes, vital areas can sometimes be tricky to pinpoint. As a general rule, one should exercise extreme caution when battling a foe that lacks a discernible head or limbs, or can infect you with something."

"Right…how many horror monsters could fit under that category…" Nightwalker said, as she began making a mental listing…a list that turned out considerably longer then she expected. The White Hole said a flicker of fear pass over the woman's face.

"I need a drink." Nightwalker said, and left the alien. She watched her go, as she headed over to the bar to see if she could find anything left that would strike her taste.

"Do not indulge too much, Miss Sine. A warning for your sake." Slade said, as Nightwalker reached the bar, as the master mercenary and his two apprentices were sitting there as well, Slade having listened to the Sorceress complain that he kept using up her power and that they were setting themselves up when they would need it. Slade smelled a small rat though, and wondered if the Sorceress really was as drained and as weak as she claimed. Slade had a feeling that if she was, she'd be considerably more scared, even with her new 'bodyguard' Brick, yet Slade hadn't read that level of fear from her. He'd keep that in mind, as Nightwalker selected several bottles, put them down on the bar, and then looked each over a few times before selecting one and leaving, heading back to sit with the alien.

He noticed his daughter reaching for a bottle too.

"That warning goes to you too as well, Rose." Slade said, as he began thinking. Weapons were re-armed, guns were put away unless needed, and Slade was alert, so he recalled he had to devote some mental effort to another task, what was it again…

"Don't worry about me, Daddy-O." Rose said, as she selected a bottle of alcohol. "50 Proof? Don't worry booze, you don't have to prove anything. I love you anyway." Rose said, as she hugged the bottle.

It was much like a record screeching to a halt, as Slade stared at his daughter, as did several other nearby villains, who all seemed embarrassed, including the cat Rose had become attached to (yes, it was still hanging around). Indeed, the only differing reaction was Kurai, who suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He'd forgotten that outside of battle-fueled adrenaline that Rose had become…this.

And Slade had finally had a clear enough mind to catch it fully, as he stared at his daughter, who had just said…

"…Rose, did you just insinuate that the marker on the bottle relates not to its alcoholic content, but the notion it needs to provide evidence of some sort?" Slade asked.

"If you say so!" Rose replied.

Slade stared at his daughter a moment more…and then his gaze turned to settle on a nearby villain. A very particular nearby villain, Control Freak.

"Eeep." Control Freak said.

"A MOMENT, MR. EXPERT." Slade snapped as he stood up, grabbed Control Freak, and dragged him across the room, as he yanked out a handgun and pressed it against his forehead. "EXPLAIN WHAT HAS HAPPENED."

"Um, well, first there was the Big Bang, and then the hydrogen collected into stars, which went nova, creating a series of progressively denser elements, which eventually formed the Earth, and then…!"

Slade cocked the hammer back.

"Um…in regards to what specifically?"

"Did you somehow just miss that?" Slade snapped.

"Well, I'm pretty good at appearing to be paying attention to something, when in reality I'm really quite focused on something else."

"Really. Even so…." Slade began, and then took a closer look at Control Freak's vision and realized he wasn't looking at Slade, he was looking past him. Oogling Nightwalker again, it seemed.

Slade got his full attention by grinding the barrel of the gun into his forehead.

"FOCUS." He snapped. "Now, the problem, which in retrospect you may not have seen but it's too late to go back now."

"Um…gimme the short version?" Control Freak asked. Slade's eye narrowed.

"My daughter normally possesses an IQ of 143. She just uttered a statement that is more in line if she possessed an IQ relating to her shoe size. And now that I am finally free to give it a moment of thought, this is not the first time. These comments began at around the same time as the problem. I do not think this is a coincidence."

"Well then. She's obviously being turned into an archetype. Now, from what you say, there are two archetypes that would be that dumb. The Stoner and the Bimbo. Do we already have a stoner?"

"Mumbo seemed fond of cannabis before his untimely demise." Slade said, in a tone reminding Control Freak where that untimely demise had come from.

"Then it isn't the Stoner. And we already have our jock, and that's a male role anyway. Sorry man, but it appears your kid's been magically lobotomized."

"…Is this permanent?"

"I don't think so! It should wear off when the…atmosphere does."

"…Very well. What are the aspects of this archetype?"

"Dumb, blonde, big chested, and horny as hell."

"Really. Well Miss Sine seems to have been inflicted with two of those, and her mind seems unaffec…ted…wait." Slade said, as a few puzzle pieces fell into place, as he let Control Freak go and headed back to his apprentices.

"Kurai." Slade said, as Kurai furiously tried to keep a blank face. "A word, please."

"Yes, master?"

"You seem happy."

"…Uh…I do?"

"More to the point, you're not cursing and ranting about the situation, which is really about as close to the classic type of contentment most people demonstrate. So you're happy. And you haven't killed nearly enough people you have a specific grudge against to be happy."

"Well Slade-sama, there has been carnage nonetheless, and one can sometimes take gratification in just doing an efficient job."

"KURAI." Slade said in a low, firm tone. All the villains were purposely ignoring the pair, having a funny feeling that if they bothered Slade they'd end up his latest victim (it was kind of disheartening Slade currently had a higher body count of their number for the night then any of the horror manifestations). "Answer me truthfully, UPON YOUR HONOR. My daughter has obviously been turned into a bimbo by this curse. And according to the 'expert', bimbo equals sex kitten. DID YOU DEFLOWER MY DAUGHTER?"

Kurai stared…and though for a moment.

Well, she did seem to know what she was doing.

"No, Slade-sama." Kurai quickly replied.

"…You seem awfully nervous about that answer, Kurai."

"Well, er, um…"

"THE TRUTH."

And just before Kurai was going to scream 'SHE RAPED ME!', it happened, as a sudden and VERY loud noise sounded outside the bar, seemingly emitting from the alleyway outside.

Slade jerked his head away from his apprentice.

"…I suspect new trouble is arriving. Get ready." Slade said, as he turned away from Kurai, the Japanese teen breathing a deep sigh of relief as Slade snatched up his shotgun and began arming it. "Remember what I said, try not to…wait." Slade said, as he realized something about the noise. "That did not sound subtle, and if that noise was made on purpose during the course of movement that suggests…"

Slade never got to finish his declaration: that he suspected whatever was coming could be quite large.

He was, to no comfort to him, right.

As the massive form exploded through the wall and sent a shower of stone and metal debris blasting through the room, causing most if not all of the villains to recoil or fall down as it stomped in, throwing tables and chairs aside to add to the barrage of aerial wreckage. The whole bar shook from its steps, the lights swinging overhead as a cloud of dust bloomed in turn from the violent entrance of the entity.

Puppet King, near the entrance of the creature, managed to turn around in time for something huge to slam into him and send him flying across the bar, where he was embedded in the wall head first.

Slade, having thrown himself to the side, slowly rose to his feet, blinking as the remaining light illuminated the massive creature, which towered over even Brick and Atlas. It was some kind of machine…except parts of it looked alarmingly organic…no, they WERE organic: the mechanical creature was a twisted fusion of flesh and cybernetics, done in a very 'jury-rigged' looking style. The machine stood on six spider-like legs, it's torso attached to the legs via a reinforced cybernetic spinal-esque design, two massive arms and shoulders extending from an equally massive upper body, the back extending upward above the head unnaturally in a hump-like fashion, the head extending out on a somewhat elongated neck, the actual cranium a nightmare mess of flesh and machine, over a dozen red mechanical eyes looking unblinkingly above a twitching and jerking mechanical proboscis of elaborate design. The whole body was constantly in motion, as parts shifted and twisted around, the giant machine creature moving slightly as if testing its footing as its unblinking red eyes stared back at Slade.

As Control Freak, thrown onto his ass, gulped.

"Oh shit. The Virus thing."

"…you do not look like a bloodthirsty lunatic wearing a mask." Slade said in a mildly annoyed, resigned tone.

"How unfortunate, for you." The Goliath Machine replied.

The Goliath Machine is from a movie called Virus, starring scream queen Jamie Lee Curtis. It's an alien lifeform, seemingly electrical in design, that got beamed onto a big Russian ship and preceded to start making minions for itself by salvaging all the equipment on the ship, as well as the humans on it, for spare parts. It ultimately used all the best bits to build a body for itself, dubbed the 'Goliath Machine'. Jamie Lee Curtis has claimed Virus is the worst film she's ever starred in. You're quite wrong Miss Curtis. Your worst film is Freaky Friday, for hoisting Lindsay Lohan on the world, and I'll make sure that if you die for anything, you die for that!

"This situation, is over." Goliath said: the voice that came from the giant machine was an odd mix of deep mellifluousness and mechanical modulation, as part of its head shifted up and what looked to be a makeshift gun snapped up and out, clicking as it armed. "If you surrender, this will be far…"

The makeshift gun exploded as Slade blew it apart with his shotgun.

"Same goes to you." Slade replied, as Goliath twisted its head and glared as best as its mechanical face allowed: the glowing red eyes and shifting mechanics actually allowed a decent approximation.

"Then die. Screaming." Goliath said, and swung a massive clamp-claw hand at Slade.

Slade dodged out of the way, rolled to his feet, and opened fired once more, his shotgun tearing into Goliath as it gave a mechanical shriek (of what, Slade didn't know, in theory it couldn't feel pain or get angry). But the weapon did seemingly no damage, and the opposite didn't looking to hold true, as parts of Goliath opened, armed, shifted out, and whatnot as a assembly of juryrigged weapons emerged from its body.

"Damn." Slade said, and leapt away as Goliath opened fire, his armaments tearing through the bar and causing another explosion of flying debris as Slade rolled behind a table and flipped it up to avoid getting riddled with a spray of deadly nails, as Goliath fired those, more generic metal shrapnel, arcs of electricity, and even laser weapons at the villains, as the masses all exploded into action they really should have taken several seconds earlier as Goliath stomped around the café.

Not that it helped Slade much: a laser exploded near Handyman and with a shriek of pure terror he ran for it, fleeing out of the back door. Dr. Light was right on his heels, goddamn spineless bastards both. Well, not EVERYONE was running: Nightwalker and the White Hole were trying to get out of the giant machine's way, Brick was trying to guard Sorceress, and Slade couldn't see most of the rest. They were probably running around like decapitated chickens as well.

This would not do at all.

"KURAI! ROSE! COVER FIRE! NOW!" Slade yelled, and then rolled out of the way as Goliath tried to smash him, shattering the table. Slade leapt up and swung his shotgun around again, but Goliath was too close and caught him with a brushing blow from one of his weaving legs, knocking him down and sending his shotgun flying.

Fortunately, at that point Killjoy stepped in, as he opened fire with his twin 1911-A1 handguns nearby, even as Kurai and Rose finally initiated his order and attacked with energy blasts and gunfire of their own. Nightwalker added to the salvo with blasts from her personal orb weapon system, and fire erupted on Goliath as her napalm orbs smashed against its body.

It got Goliath's attention away from Slade, which gave him a few seconds to think. And it was clear fighting Goliath in here was a losing proposition: he was far too large. A tactical retreat was in order.

Brick was carrying the majority of the weapons, both the bundled and the shrunk boxes. His exit was a priority. He'd need more cover fire.

Fortunately, Slade had enough foresight to not put away ALL the big guns. He just had to reach them.

Blackfire aided him in that, as she attacked Goliath herself, blasting away with her Blackbolt ability. Unfortunately, her abilities were still curtailed to a notable degree, and hence all she managed were three weak shots before she was struck by an electrical attack and sent screaming across the room, where she hit the wall and fell to the ground, jerking briefly. Slade, already in motion, only gave her the briefest of glances to see if she was alive: she was, her sweaters had caught fire and she was frantically pulling them off.

Adonis was at the bar desperately trying to get the large MG-34 machine gun Slade had given him to work. Slade snorted in disgusted.

"Forget it! Get out! Out the back door! NOW!" Slade yelled, as he grabbed the weapons he'd been looking for: twin Heckler and Koch G36 assault rifles with 100 round double-drum barrel ammo clips. Hoisting both, he tucked one under his arm and turned around.

"ASSASSIN!" He yelled at Killjoy, and as the silent killer turned at his call he tossed the other machine gun at him.

In one smooth motion, Killjoy had put his handguns away and gotten his hands back up to catch the new weapon, as he turned and resumed fire on Goliath from it, as Slade brought his own weapon up and added to the bullet spray. Goliath emitted another mechanical shriek as it thrashed around, trying to get at the insects that incessantly stung at it.

"You heard the man. Let's go, Ithlian!" Brick said. "We'd best…!"

And then another arc of electrical power zapped out, and Brick twisted and let the bolt slam into his shoulder, grunting as he felt the painful energy tear through his body on its way to the ground. But his heart remained beating, which was all that mattered.

"Brick?" Sorceress asked.

"GO!" Brick grunted, still trying to get his muscles working properly.

And, faced with a manifestation of the technology she hated so much, and with far too little power (blasted Slade with all his shrinking and binding nonsense!) to do anything about it, the Sorceress fled.

For two steps.

"OW!" She shrieked, as she stumbled and fell to her knees. "I sprained my ankle!"

"You what?" Brick said, and then remembered what rules they were functioning under, as he staggered over and helped Sorceress up. "Lean on me. Let's go!"

"I will-OW! I sprained my other ankle!" Sorceress said as she fell down again.

"Misogynists in B-films, I really do…hate you at the moment." Brick commented.

Nightwalker flipped over a broken table and fired the last of her explosive orbs, and even as they blasted on Goliath she went to her belt for reloads…

As Goliath twisted and fired a spray of nails and metal shrapnel at her, and Nightwalker was forced to dodge aside…and sprawled on the ground as the ground shifted under Goliath's weight. A sitting duck, she looked up as Goliath bore down on her…

And then, with a snarling bellow, the White Hole struck, leaping up on Goliath's back and swinging her mace down, crushing it into Goliath's body like it was made of paper mache. Goliath let loose another mechanical scream and stormed and twisted around, smashing what was left of the café to ruins as he tried to get the alien off, even as the White Hole kept smashing and clawing, like she was possessed.

"…Rebecca?" Nightwalker said in confusion: had the alien…done that for her? Or had it just been timing?

"CEASE FIRE!" Slade yelled: his clip had run dry anyway. "RETREAT! GET OUT! NO-!"

And then with a powerful lash, Goliath's leg slashed out and struck Slade broadside, sending him flying with an angry yell as he crashed through the left hand wall of the café, said wall collapsing after his 'exit'.

"DADDY!" Rose shrieked.

"He can take care of himself! Let's go Rose-kun!" Kurai said as he grabbed Rose and tried to pull her along.

"But daddy…and kitty? Where's the kitty?" Rose wailed.

"FORGET THE KITTY! WE HAVE TO…!"

And then Kurai yelled as a line of fired metal shrapnel crossed his path, embedding several jagged chunks in his chest and leg. If Slade hadn't convinced him to start wearing body armor, it would have been a lot worse, but it still hurt.

"GO!" He snarled, pushing a whining Rose along. Though Rose didn't know it, her 'kitty' had safely fled, probably the second Goliath had entered. Showing he was the smartest one in the whole room, probably, as Kurai dragged Rose along, peppering Goliath with a few more finger blasts as he did.

"OW! I SPRAINED BOTH MY ANKLES! AGAIN!" The Sorceress yelled.

"How could you do that…forget it." Brick said as he picked Sorceress up. "I'd like to see this atmosphere try and sprain MY ankles!"

And then three nails embedded themselves in Brick's skull, causing him to stagger.

"…ow…ow." Brick said: his immensely tough skin, muscle, and bone had stopped the projectiles from reaching brain, but it still hurt like hell. "Perhaps I should have stayed quiet."

Jack Djinn, freshly sobered by adrenaline, sprang over another broken table, heading for the exit door…passing Puppet King, still struggling to get out of the wall. With a smirk, he grabbed the puppet and yanked, pulling him free.

"Might need a good battering ram." Jack said, as he ran through said exit. Adonis followed him, just managing to get through the doorframe.

"I don't need your fucking help!" Blackfire cursed as Dr. Westminster tried to help her up.

"Ma'am, I'd rather not, but it's the decent thing to do!" Dr. Westminster replied as he continued trying to help Blackfire up.

A punch from the alien knocked him sprawling.

"Fuck off!" Blackfire growled. "You want decent, you're in the wrong place!"

And with that the alien picked herself up and fled, Brick and Sorceress following her despite Brick constantly stepping and tripping on the Sorceress' long robe. Dr. Westminster groaned to himself, picked his hat up, and placed it back on as he himself left. As the saying when, always the bitches that glitches.

As Goliath's laser weapons flashed out, and White Hole bellowed as several thin beams pierced through her body, finally immobilizing her enough for the giant machine creature to grab her and smash her into the ground. The floor shook and groaned ominously.

"Rebecca!" Nightwalker called, as the White Hole fought her way up…

As Goliath lifted a leg, parts of it snapping away as it elongated into a deadly blade, and then it stabbed out, impaling itself through the White Hole's torso as she bellowed once more, pinned on the spot by the giant, pointed limb, like a butterfly under glass.

"Shit! Fuck! LET HER GO!" Nightwalker yelled as she snapped in an acid orb clip and fired, aiming for the head. Goliath squealed as the acid exploded on its constructed skull, the immensely powerful fluoro-antimonic caustic sizzling into its head, as Nightwalker, realizing that maybe she should have saved one of those acid orbs for the leg that had impaled the White Hole, stared at it for a second…and then on a desperate guess drew the Lightscourge and slashed down.

It wasn't as smooth as a knife through butter, but the enchanted sword cut through Goliath's leg, and the machine lost its balance and partially fell, even as the White Hole staggered back and fell to one knee.

"Come on! Let's go!" Nightwalker ordered as she got under the White Hole's left shoulder and started dragging her to the exit, even as Killjoy beat his own retreat, firing what was left of his clip in short bursts.

"I don't need help…" The White Hole whispered.

"Then gut me." Nightwalker snapped back, and continued aiding the alien in her retreat, the alien's steps still a touch unsure.

Killjoy reached the door as his gun ran dry. He discarded it.

And Goliath roared and charged forward, bearing down on Nightwalker as she snarled and tried to get an arm up to fire.

It loamed over her as metal projectiles flew…

And then suddenly Goliath…slowed. Not in hesitation: it literally slowed to a crawl…including the projectiles it had fired…like it was…

A recording, as Control Freak somehow showed freakish stealth despite his girth and popped up with his remote aimed at the beast, smirking on how he'd just saved Nightwalker's ass.

"Oh you can bet THIS favor will be called in." He grinned.

Nightwalker kicked him in the ankle.

"I'll be dead first." Nightwalker snapped as she pulled the White Hole to the door, where Killjoy was still standing, preparing another gun.

And the Handyman suddenly appeared in the door frame again.

"Has anyone found the damn key? I swear if you keep locking the doors like that, I might just have to stop bolting at the first sign of danger…"

As Control Freak's brief effect wore off and Goliath resumed his charge, as Control Freak screamed, barely avoiding the already airborne projectiles as he fled…

As Nightwalker and White Hole, now finally back on her feet, the leg still impaled through her side (in a Blacktrinian elite warrior's case though, that was 'tis but a scratch' territory: she'd been worse affected by the lasers, which had shocked her flammable circulatory system as well as put a few extra holes in her. A little more heat and she could have exploded…), fled through the back door, Control Freak on their heels.

As Killjoy finished arming his Hawk MM-1 grenade launcher, wound the spring, and opened fire, the incendiary grenades exploding on Goliath's body as the machine beast reared up from the assault…

And the sudden shift in weight proved to be the back-breaking straw for the camel, or rather the floor, as the whole base beneath Goliath's feet shattered and buckled…

Including a part under Handyman's feet, throwing him forward and nearly into Control Freak, who once again somehow dodged despite his girth.

"AIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Handyman shrieked, as he fell into the darkness even as Goliath did. Control Freak blinked, then decided better him then himself and went through the exit door, as Killjoy fired three final shots into the ceiling of the bar and ran as the whole place came down in a thunderous racket.

The assassin joined the villains, now all clustered around a gigantic steel door that Adonis, Brick, Blackfire, and Jack were all pounding on, in Jack's case with Puppet King's yelling and protesting body. But even with all four, they were having no success in breaking through.

"Was this in the original game plan? FUCK! I hate it when the coach changes the hand signals!" Adonis cursed,

"I know this door, but it's not supposed to be HERE! Accursed atmosphere!" Sorceress cursed.

"Step aside! I'll blast it down!" Kurai ordered. "With Slade-sama dead, I am now the leader!"

"What? Who appointed YOU, fuckstick?" Jack snapped.

"The power that will be reducing your brain to steamed clumps if you don't…"

"Don't fight! That's what it wants!" Nightwalker said, as she left the White Hole leaning against the wall as she pushed through the crowd of villains in the not exactly wide hallway.

"Yeah! Listen to D-Cup!" Control Freak said.

"You're going to be D-capitated if you don't knock it off, Freak." Nightwalker tossed back as she reached the door. She'd heard what the recently departed Handyman (poor bastard) said about a key, and she had a suspicion.

A correct one: this wasn't a typical keyhole. It was the size of two fingers.

Just right for a sword, as she stuck the Lightscourge in and twisted. There was a deep clack, and the door opened up.

"…not going to examine the teeth." Brick said, as he went through the door, the rest of the villains following.

"Guess birdies have some use." Jack said as he went through. Nightwalker glowered at him: Jack returned a wicked grin, even as he dumped Puppet King on the ground, as the battered wooden midget moaned and staggered after the group, as Nightwalker retracted the sword from the special lock and returned to the White Hole.

"What's the status Styles?"

With a snarling yell, the White Hole yanked Goliath's leg free from her body, dropping it as a fresh gout of blood sprayed onto her clothes and the floor, hissing as the virulent liquid ate into it. Nightwalker's eyes widened.

"Looks worse than it is." The alien said.

A deep low roar, combined with a thunderous shudder, sounded behind the pair.

"I suggest continued motion for the next step." The White Hole said. Sine nodded and the pair moved on.

"Now, as I was saying-OW!" Kurai yelled from the front of the group, as he pulled one of the shards of shrapnel free. "I should now be the leader!"

"But…I'd make a great leader! I'd be super special awesome!" Rose protested.

"Yeah, let the Jap lead, we'll be being raped by tentacles within an hour I'd bet." Jack groused.

"What's THAT supposed to mean?"

"If anything, Miss Ithlian should be the leader when she's recovered, she's the most powerful and the most knowledgeable in magics."

"And for now she might as well be a swaddling babe! If it is not a matter of agreement I will gladly make it a matter of claim!" Kurai snapped as he stopped from the walking argument and put his hands up.

"How charming that when initiative is needed, initiative is always found." Said a strange new voice.

Kurai whirled around and yelped, jumping back and aiming at the new form that had popped up in the hallway the second he'd turned around. It looked like a cat…except it was four times as big. And seemed to be more skeleton then cat, a strange desiccated yet strong dull grayish-white, with a ring in one ear. It smiled, a gigantic smile of sharp teeth and sharper intentions.

"…kitty?" Rose squeaked.

"I am not the feline of which you are so fond, though I assure you no harm has come to your bond." The cat said.

"…THEN WHAT ARE YOU!?!?!?" Kurai yelled, his hands glowing.

"Relax. Offense is not my stock in trade. Rather words as I shall forbade." The cat said. "When the clock stops, one has to wonder if it's the parts or the hands that are the problem."

"………who here says we kill it anyway?" Jack asked. There was general agreement.

"Mundanes." The cat said, and grinned ever wider…as its body abruptly vanished, leaving only the grin.

And as the villains gaped at the hanging smile, that too vanished in turn.

Kurai stepped forward, waving a hand where the cat had been. Nothing.

"…was that what I think it was?" Nightwalker said as she came out of the group. "Was that the Cheshire cat?"

"Lewis Carroll was a touch strange and perhaps had a bit of pedophilia in him, but I don't recall him being insane enough to make the cat look like that." Brick said, looking at where the Cheshire Cat had been.

"That was the Cat from American McGee's Alice! Awesome! That Krueger has some taste!" Control Freak said.

Blackfire punched Control Freak across the jaw.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" He complained on the ground.

"Don't compliment the enemy!"

"Yes, and also, with Slade-sama dead and gone, I once again declare…!" Kurai began.

The wall behind Kurai abruptly exploded, and with a shriek Kurai jumped into Adonis' arms.

"…dude, not fly. Not fly at all."

Killjoy, Nightwalker, and Blackfire all aimed their respective weapons at the hole.

"Put them down."

And Slade Wilson walked through the hole, looking a touch bedraggled. Well, moreso than getting tossed through a wall would do, as Kurai jumped out of Adonis' arms with a muffled Japanese curse: damn atmosphere. Of course it was the atmosphere. Nothing else.

"Slade-sama! You survived after all!…where have you been for the past bit?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Slade said, as he dumped a strange object that Westminster swore looked familiar as Slade drew his personal handgun (An HK UCP) and sword. "Who's still alive?"

"We lost Handyman." Brick said.

"Good riddance. The rest of you move along, in close quarters that mechanical entity has the advantage…"

Another, louder roar and rumble sounded behind the villains.

"And it's getting closer, MOVE IT!" Slade yelled, and the villains fled down the hallway.

"They're getting away Krueger." The robed Lieutenant said. Freddy ignored him, typing at his computer.

"No." He said, with a wicked grin of fangs. "They're not."

"GRAGHHHH!" Kurai snarled as he yanked another shard of shrapnel out of his chest: the fact he had to do while moving made it worse.

"That reminds me Kurai." Slade said, as he peered around a corner and moved on when nothing leapt out at him. "What exactly WERE you going to say before the giant robot crashed into the wall?"

Several of the villains looked at Kurai, who looked stunned…and then with another snarl, he grabbed at the last, deepest piece of shrapnel.

"RARGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" He bellowed, yanking it free. "I'll be frank Slade-sama! I fucked your daughter!"

The villains all stopped dead.

Kurai looked at Slade through a visage scarred with fresh pain, as Slade's lone eye stared back.

"…very cute Kurai. Joke about it again and I kill you." Slade said, gesturing with his gun before moving on.

"Yes…sir." Kurai said, as he and the villains resumed moving.

"He's got the luck of the devil." Dr. Light commented.

"In more ways then one." Dr. Westminster replied.

"Though that begs…the question…" Slade trailed off as he went through an open doorway…and stopped, looking up.

The villains did likewise, as they found themselves looking up the length of an utterly gigantic spiraling stair, disappearing up into the horizon with no end in sight.

"As ridiculously overwrought as he was, I am fairly sure the Lord did not include such a design in his building." Slade commented.

"…I have a terrible feeling of déjà vu…" Nightwalker said.

"Wicked! It's the Batman cathedral-OW!" Control Freak yelled as Jack smacked him on the back of the head.

"Would you cram it you damn nerd?"

The dull mechanical roar sounded in the distance, along with faint sounds of crashing.

"No other exits Slade-sama." Kurai said, having looked around.

"Then up we go. Move." Slade said, as the villains began to traverse up the stairs.

Nightwalker was passing the White Hole when she coughed, swiftly wiping away the blood from her mouth that came from it.

"Are you sure?"

"Why do you even care?" The White Hole replied, and started up the stairs herself. And so up they went.

"Oh god…geez…now I know how the Ghostbusters felt." Control Freak panted a minute later: he was already hyperventilating.

"You're welcome to take a rest and serve as grease for that thing's mechanisms." The Sorceress said as Brick trudged up the stairs with her.

"Oh look, Miss Can't Even Walk deems to bless us with her advice!" Control Freak snapped.

"We're making better time than you." Brick commented. Control Freak groaned and resumed climbing.

The mechanical bellow echoed up the stairs. Getting closer…

"Mr. Wilson, my geographical abilities are a little weak, but if that entity reaches up and climbs up this reach, I do not believe there is enough room to battle it. It will probably wreck the stairway and render us in danger of falling, among other unpleasantness." Dr. Westminster said. Slade absorbed the doctor's word and glanced over the railing.

"I believe you are accurate. DOUBLE TIME!" Slade yelled, as the villains picked up the pace (some as best they could) up and around the spiraling stairs.

As fifteen or so stories below the ground exploded as Goliath rampaged through the door the villains had come through, craning its head upward as it lit the dim tower the villains climbed with searchlights.

"There is, no escape." Goliath intoned, and opened fire, sending nails and metal shards flying up into the shaft. The villains threw themselves against the wall to avoid it.

Said attacked turned out to be a feint, as Goliath reached out and slammed his arms into the walls, and then lifted his body up to let his legs did in as he pulled himself up the tower, smashing the wooden stairs to kindling in the process.

"Annoyance." Slade groused, as he leaned over the railing and opened fire with his handgun, as every villain who could shoot swiftly followed suit. Bullets and blasts rained down on Goliath, but he was not slowed.

"Explosives!" Slade ordered, as he and Killjoy armed and dropped some grenades down the passageway. The tower was racked by their detonation, and Goliath roared as smoke bloomed up the length of the shaft…as Goliath reared up out of it, continuing his climb.

"Maybe we should run Daddy!" Rose said, as she snapped open her revolver to speed-load in more shots.

"It's making too good time. More explosives!"

And from where she stood against the wall, the White Hole watched the villains attempt to locate more ordnance…and decided.

"No Slade. Forget it!" The White Hole said, as she pushed herself off the wall. "I'll take care of it."

"And how do you plan to do that Miss Styles?" Slade asked, not even stopping his grenade gathering process.

The White Hole coughed, more blood leaking from her mouth, but rather then show weakness, the immensely acrid taste seemed to revitalize her.

"The only way I know." The White Hole said, as she pulled her mace from her belt.

"Rebecca…?" Nightwalker asked, sounding confused.

"Don't say anything Miss Nightwalker. I've been doing this for dozens of your lifetimes and I'll be doing it long after you've turned to dust. This is what I am. Nothing more."

"…no." Nightwalker said. The White Hole looked at her.

"You're the first to think so. And the first to make me think on it." The White Hole said. "Flee like the soft thing you are."

And from within her blood-soaked outfit the White Hole drew a wicked, scimitar like blade.

"My world calls."

"You will not escape…!" Goliath intoned as it drew close.

As the White Hole ran and jumped, diving off the edge of the stairway.

"WHAT?"

The dense, savage alien hit the machine creature like a bomb, and with a twin roar of mechanical coldness and primordial, almost joyful rage, Goliath was torn from the wall and the two tumbled down into the blackness, chaotic noise following them all the way down.

"Move, before he rips her apart!" Slade ordered, and the villains resumed their trek upward.

Save Nightwalker, who stared down into the smoke and noise for a few seconds more.

And then she turned and ran with the villains, the massive din fading slightly below them as they climbed the stairs, finally reaching the top and charging through the door beyond.

And there she was.

The villains once again stopped dead at the sight of the girl, standing calmly in the middle of the room, dressed in a blue, old-fashioned dress, a white apron, and dark heavily buckled black boots, her dark red hair past shoulder length and a necklace hanging from her neck.

In the next second the girl had half a dozen projectile weapons aimed at her.

"Well, you're hardly what I expected for minions of the Queen." The girl said in a rather critical tone.

"Move aside or be moved. In a very unpleasant manner." Slade said, as he cocked the hammer on his gun.

"HOLY SHIT! NOW ALICE HERSELF! THIS IS-OW!" Control Freak squealed in the back before some unseen person struck him for the latest time.

The girl did not seem worried about the arsenal being pointed at her, as she cast an odd look at Slade.

As, first with a grin and then entirely, the Cheshire cat made itself known once more.

"Perhaps you both should exchange words instead of weaponsfire. After all, there's still much more bloodshed to face ahead. No need to rush…"

"AHHHHHHHH! THAT CAT AGAIN!" Kurai yelled. The Cheshire Cat grinned all the wider, and once again faded away, the smile going last.

"I don't have time for riddles and nonsense. Either provide an exit or stand aside." Slade said, keeping his gun on Alice.

"…very well. I came here through the door behind me. It may lead you to safety, but it won't help you." Alice said, and then she stepped aside.

Slade kept a gun on her as he began moving forward.

"Uh daddy…she said…"

"She's a manifestation of this nonsense. Ignore her." Slade said. "Through the door. Brick, you first."

Brick didn't protest, as he headed through the double doors that had been behind Alice, having put down Sorceress (who had recovered enough to walk).

Nothing attacked him or yanked him into the room or whatever lay beyond, and the rest of the villains ended up following, Slade going in last, as he gave one last look at Alice and then closed the door behind him.

"Such ignorant fools. They don't even know how to tell an enemy from a passerby…" Alice said, as she pulled out a large, bloodstained knife. "Their enemy may dispose of them before they even know what it is…"

And Alice, after cleaning the blood off via her apron, turned and looked off into the murk that the villains had come from.

And some time later, a thundering racket and glowing red eyes heralded a new visitor, as Alice held her knife firm and looked at the crimson radiance.

Slade wasn't sure what he was expecting when he exited into the new room. He would have preferred it if the door had lead outside. Despite his earlier hesitation about leaving a supposedly secure area, it was clear that he and his 'allies' would have to deal with greater threats then scampering dolls and idiots in Halloween costumes, and in the bar they had been sitting ducks. That error had already cost him one of his stronger 'allies' (and considering how unpredictable the White Hole could be that might have been a blessing in disguise), and he would have preferred the options of the streets of Jump.

But they did not find themselves outside. Instead they found themselves in some kind of massive multi-floored lobby crafted in marble and fine wood. Multiple doors exited from the giant room (though it had no staircase in the room to reach the upper floors), including a larger blue double-door across from where the villains had entered, though this was somewhat difficult to see due to the fact there was a fountain in the middle of the room, a small statue above it. Behind the fountain and in front of Slade was a work area with desks, chairs, and various office equipment. Like someone had turned an old museum into a government building.

The rest of the villains were around him, looking around the area…when a wide grin appeared out of thin air before Slade. His eye narrowed as he aimed a gun at it, as the grin was filled out by the same cat the group (save Slade) had seen earlier. The Cheshire Cat.

"You have arrived. But changing the world to fit your view is meaningless without a sense of direction in order to make the world round and not a disk floating in the nothingness." The cat said.

"…your next sentence had best make a modicum of sense." Slade threatened.

"WOW! CAN I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPH?" Control Freak suddenly yelled, startling everyone as he ran over to the cat. The feline just grinned, and then vanished.

"Awwwwwwwwwwww…that blows monkey…"

Kurai's fist lashed out, slamming into Control Freak's face and sending him flying over the desk, where he crashed into the workspace area floor, knocked loopy.

"Does anyone object to my action?" The Japanese teen asked.

"No."

"I'm just glad it's not me." The Puppet King.

With a swing, Adonis smashed the wooden dummy into the nearest wall.

"OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" The dummy yelled.

"Gotta give my peeps what they want!" Adonis said as he pumped his arms.

"Then be quiet." Slade said. "Kurai, Ravager, pan out and inspect the room. Check the doors but do not enter them. Mr. Westminster, Dr. Vogel, and Miss Sine, watch them and make sure they do not enter the doors due to possible…outside influence." Slade said, giving a mildly resigned look to his daughter, who was checking her hair with a small pocket mirror. "Everyone else, spread out, and once again, do not leave this room. If you do, don't bother coming back, as I will shoot first and not bother with any questions."

"Yes sir." Kurai said, and began his inspection.

"Okey-dokey!" Rose chirped, and did likewise. Slade's eye narrowed.

"Now Miss Ithlian, I require your aid in doing something regarding…" Slade said as he turned around to address security measures for the door they'd come from.

In the end, none were needed. The door had vanished.

"…One less problem. I suppose." Slade said.

"So can I just relax?" The Sorceress asked.

"I didn't say that." Slade said. "We were underarmed when that robot struck. I do not make the same mistake twice, and I and the others will requite access to our weapon supplies." Slade said. Sorceress groaned, as she realized she was going to be stuck with the draining grunt work again.

"It seems clear Slade-sama." Kurai called.

"Nothing Daddy!" Rose called in turn.

"Do another sweep to be certain."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwww."

"That was not expected." The Lieutenant said to Freddy. "I believed all aspects of this emergence answered to you."

"Some glitches in the program." Freddy retorted, as he tapped furiously. "But I'm already twisting one to my advantage! I have no trouble with surprises! I was supposed to be dead when my home was firebombed after all, you are looking at the original zen master of rolling with the punches!"

"Your track record says differently."

"Oh put a sock in it!"

The robed lieutenant produced a sock.

"Please specify area."

With one clawed slash, Freddy reduced the sock to shreds.

"You are reading too far into it. Stop." Slade said to Nightwalker.

"Hmmmmmm?" The now-blonde female said absent-mindedly: the Sorceress had re-enlarged the weapons crates and under Slade's direction the villains were now arming themselves once more, except Blackfire, who was sitting and glaring at nothing in particular while smoking a cigarette (where she got a cigarette, and when she had started smoking, no one bothered to ask her), and Control Freak, who was still unconscious in the work area nearby. Nightwalker was re-arming her personal weapon system, but had been rather slow and dreamy about it.

"Miss Styles did nothing for you, or any of us. Put aside such soft thoughts. They will get you killed, especially with the atmosphere's specific targeting of you. Speaking of which, have you noticed any new changes?"

"No….but."

"She did what she did because she would have rather died battling then bleeding out on the ground. That is the only reason. Get rid of such ridiculous sentiments. They do not belong in a warrior's mindset."

"….if you say so." Nightwalker said quietly.

"You got enough handguns there Jack?" Dr. Light asked.

"Fuck off chickenshit." Jack growled, not even paying attention to the doctor. His attention was again focused on the other doctor, Westminster, who has selected an IMI Galli assault rifle (the successor to the immensely useful AK-47) and was trying to locate some 50 round curved box clips for it. For a moment Jack contemplated just drawing one of his guns and shooting the bastard in the head. Just to be sure. He could blame it on the atmosphere. Because something just kept rubbing him the wrong way about the doctor.

He'd prove it. Soon.

The English doctor, meanwhile, honest to god thought that his Australian 'friend' was going to shoot him. And probably blame it entirely on the atmosphere. Well, if he tried it, he would get a strafing of machine gun fire…no, he had to be imaging it. Westminster knew that Jack wouldn't for one reason, albeit one reason alone: as soon as he tried to kill another member of the group Slade would destroy him. Nothing could happen!

So why did he feel so uneasy still? What was the guy's problem? Hazing gone wrong or something worse…Dr. Westminster glanced at Slade, making sure he seemed to be paying some degree of attention. Just in case.

Slade was looking over at Killjoy, who was finally arming the weapon Brick had been lugging around besides the bundles and the Sorceress. It was strange to see the silent, cold assassin helping ANYONE, though Slade knew that if he could actually fire it, Killjoy would just wield the weapon himself. Slade had a nice toy for Killjoy though, and himself, to replace his lost shotgun.

"Mr. Wilson." The Sorceress said crossly, sitting nearby, where she had used a chunk of her minimal energy stores to heal up her ankles. "How much longer do you plan to sit around and admire your oily little tubes?"

"Long enough to ensure your survival Miss Ithlian. And once we're done, shrink the boxes back down."

"Very well. But I have a condition. Once I do, I am allowed to make a brief search of this area in the possibility of finding a better outfit. With my gravely weakened abilities, which are being retarded in their recovery by YOUR actions, I cannot float and this clothing is inappropriate for walking. I need something else."

"As you will. Take Brick with you though, to ensure you aren't dragged off due to your refusal to protect yourself with one of my oily little tubes." Slade replied. The Sorceress just looked crossly at him.

"This isn't fair. Even more so then usual." The Puppet King complained, upset that no one was giving him a weapon or letting him take one.

"Oh be quiet bookends." Dr. Light said.

"Hey, at least I'm considered without worth because of my lack of powers due to this curse. Your power is based on a suit! Yet you have contributed as much offensive effort as I have!"

"Hey, whaddaya want, it's in character."

A brief moment later, the Sorceress had shrunk the boxes back up and been pointed towards a door Slade had deemed 'safe'. Brick followed behind her, opening the door and peering in. Seeing no apparent threats, he showed the Sorceress in.

The not-much-of-a-master-at-the-time mage took a moment and looked around her surroundings. The room was wrecked, but more in the style of a rush of trying to move out of the room rather than anything. Party hats and streamers littered the place and a large banner that said "Welcome Leon" (who was Leon?) was writ large upon the wall. Tables were over turned in the panicked sprawl and hastily boarded windows littered the room with an office in the far corner. There was the occasional blood splatter decorating various surfaces and even a long blood trail across the room, as if some poor bastard had dragged himself over to the office, waiting for his death. Perhaps this Leon?

"Here." Brick said, as he opened one of the blood stained lockers. She noted that it happened to be the most blood stained locker there. Go figure.

"Regrettable, the mess." Brick said, as if picking up on her annoyance at the fact.

"Of course it is." The Sorceress walked over and pulled the door open a little further open to see. She wasn't picky on options, having gotten to the point that under her own motion she was literally holding her dress up, the loose material having become so ragged that it was slowly slipping into indecent. Under normal circumstances this never happened: her clothing were magical in nature hence it had a smattering of semi-sentience. It helped avoid a lot of bumps. How come they never got dirty? Sentient. How come they never get caught unless it was integral to the story? Sentient. How come they always look cool? Sentient.

But with the atmosphere affecting everyone she was in trouble: when it wasn't ankle trouble she was tripping, getting caught and worse as the dress constricted around her, every twist living her even less give to breath as it fell apart. She needed new clothes…and inside the locker happened to be a uniform, a full police woman's uniform including radio and belt.

It would serve, as strange as it would look, doubly so. The Sorceress reached up and pulled it out with both hands.

And Brick covered his eyes rather swiftly as the dress finally fell away. He coughed briefly before he turned his back to her, allowing her to change while using him as a screen. She did have some dignity.

"Huh." The Sorceress stated as she started to get dressed. The clothing fit perfectly, everything from the under garments to the belts and straps. They all seemed to be in her size, or rather her new size. Everyone was being affected by the atmosphere, most psychologically and some physically. The Sorceress, like a few others, was part of the latter. Her anorexic form was changed somewhat. Not the sudden, extreme changes of Sine, but the more subtle changes like that of Control Freak, as his physical fitness seemed to increase or decrease depending on the situation (she hadn't noticed him getting exhausted when he was running around during the chaos of the maniac army attack). She now looked… normal.

Well, she still had the pale skin and the veins shooting across it, dark lines close to the surface, but she was no longer anorexic. Her muscles were no longer atrophied; her body now like as if she was a normal teenager. Normal proportions and… were those thighs? Since when had she thighs? She pondered this question as she pulled leather trousers over her legs. The fact she had to pull them over this round and soft thing behind her hips worried her.

"Something wrong?" Brick asked, his voice booming throughout the empty room.

"Just a small change." She stated, slipping on a bra for the first time in…ever.. She struggled a little with the clasps, not having the experience of it from years of training bras and upward as she grew up. Her childhood was an organic maturation tube.

Though she did remember getting this really cool doll on her first birthday. But I digress...

"Nearly done?" Brick asked as she buttoned up a blue shirt.

"Almost." She replied, as she looked back towards him…spotting the still somewhat unpleasant wound where Goliath had him with three nails. Or was it four? Whatever the number… "…How is the head?"

"A little better." He stated, feeling the spot with a gargantuan hand. The wound was rather ugly, and Brick's hand was far from graceful, but he barely seemed to feel it. "I ponder if this means I'm truly dead on the inside and the only thing that is allowing my intellect is the magic."

"……..…"

The Sorceress paused, not sure what to say. She was never one for comforting speeches or idealistic hints. Why turn to her? She only knew magic and in these conditions that knowledge was next to useless.

"Maybe you can put your mind in a golem or something." She tried, finishing getting dressed and placing on the last few paraphernalia that befitted the uniform, badges, insignia and a belt with a pistol inside the holster (just a small six shot Smith & Wesson but that didn't matter, her skill with a pistol was equating to that of a child that had lost all its limbs in an accident. She did hate technology after all).

"I suppose that's possible, though I wouldn't know where to start. And once this is over I suspect it will be back to being a step above a mindless block of concrete. And you'll once again be a harsh task-mistress of magic."

"And what makes you think that I've changed from that to begin with?" She snapped. Well, it wasn't much of a snap. More of a retort, though it happened to be a particularly barbed one.

"You've had a look at what it's like for humans."

"…….."

The Sorceress paused again for a moment, waiting for an explanation of the harrowing truth that was starting to collapse on her like a cave in.

"You've seen what it is like for normal people, why they can't rely on the magical arts. They want to but they can't access it like you, so they turn to science to help them. Magic schooling takes innate connection, serious training and talent. And time, most often. You had all four, while most might not have one."

Brick's lumbering feet slowly turned and lifted off the floor as he started to turn towards her. His small eyes traced the expression on her face. She was being hit hard with it, the realization on some level that she understood what the 'mundanes' had to go through each and every day, what they had to suffer through. People like Brick, and even he was a metahuman. Such a thing for him, let alone a powerless human…

"No! I… I… Magic is right and…" She stumbled across her words as things shifted in her mind.

"Shh. Once you get your powers back I'm sure the only magic mindset will once again enforce itself upon you with a breathtaking ease. Remember, absolute power and all that corruption business."

On some level, she knew he was right. He was observant and understood so much. Such a clever man he must have been in his former life. All gone…even now: this was just a brief moment in an abnormal time and place.

"…Can we go? I'm ready." She asked rather quietly, dressed in a full policewoman's uniform. She even had the hat in her hand. Brick nodded with a slight smile, but it wasn't one of victory or smug satisfaction, it was of one of simple comprehension and friendly sympathy.

"Thank you Vogel." She said quietly and turned to leave, walking away.

"And thank you for finally remembering. Though I must ask…since when have you had hips?" Brick asked after her, allowing her to cry that she didn't know.

The lair of Freddy Krueger.

"This makes no sense." The Lieutenant said as he watched the screen, as Freddy pushed the Sorceress' screen away and pulled another closer to look at it, pondering what he could do to hamper the next person. "Why did you make her normal? Surely she would be much easier to take down as she was? A weak and feeble creature with no muscles. Especially considering the dangers she represents."

"That's no fun. What good is it to get the ones that are pretty much ours? May as well go after hospital patients or paraplegics, like that dog who shall remain nameless." Freddy growled and fiddled around with a few slide bars to get ideas on this particular member of the group whom had been doing too well for his liking, especially with things considered. "Giving her a chance makes it a challenge! Not much of one but it's more fun to hunt running prey!"

"But we're always making them trip."

"Yes but that's their fault for being bimbos, not because their muscles aren't up to the task."

"But…"

"ENOUGH!"

The fact that the Sorceress was now wearing a police uniform did indeed get the villain's attention, which gave Kurai his opening.

"Rose-chan!" He hissed to her as she looked over her XM8 rifle (a prototype gun that had never been formally completed: her father had 'borrowed' a few crates from various militaries and finished them up with supertech the military found too cost-prohibitive to be practical). She seemed to be debating the clip size: 30 round clip or 100 round C-Mag drum. With a grin, she picked the 30 round clip and actually seemed to stroke the length momentarily before she looked at Kurai.

"Yeah?"

"Look, I need to stay alive for your sake AND mine, as my mind is clear and yours…is not so much, and for that to happen, you have to NOT tell your father what we did!"

"Okay!" Rose grinned.

"That's good, now we…wait a moment Rose. Tell me what we did." Kurai said, not trusting the atmosphere and how it warped Rose's intelligence.

"You just said not to!"

"I said don't tell your father! Now what did we do?"

"We shot at the robot monster thing!"

"No, the other thing!"

"We talked to a scary cat?"

"No, the other thing!"

"You know, those things will kill you. And reduce your lung capacity." Dr. Westminster said to the smoking Blackfire. Her intense glare made it clear he should have minded his own business.

"Oh yeah right, like you care! If I have to breathe harder, that just means my chest goes bouncy bouncy even more for your sick perverted joy! Fuck you! Asshole!" Blackfire snapped. Westminister blinked.

"Uh…"

"Did you not get the picture? Shall I put my cigarette out in your eye, maybe THAT will drive the point home?"

"But…"

"We had some drinks?" Rose guessed.

"No, the OTHER thing!"

"Oohhhhhhhhh…." Control Freak groaned as he finally got up. "Everyone's a critic…ow…well, nice place…nice big place…wait a sec…"

"Miss I…" Dr. Westminster said.

"Oh what, you wanna examine me now? That it? Wanna feel me up? I'm wise to you!"

"Hey Komand'r, knock it off." Nightwalker said.

"You shut up ho!"

"Wait a minute…overly elaborate place…empty besides us…typewriter…ink ribbon?" Control Freak as he looked around.

"We saw reality break?"

"No, the OTHER thing!"

"Oh, the passionate monkey sex where I was it during the last half of it?"

"Yes that is WHAT?"

"What?"

"WHAT?"

"Huh?"

Kurai had a sudden sinking feeling.

"Rose, how did we start this conversation?"

"Something about monkeys?"

"….I am so dead." Kurai lamented.

"You can all fuck off! I'll decide what the fuck I want to do, when the fuck I want to do it, and there's fuckall you CAN do!" Blackfire raged, completely lost in her archetype. "So I'll tell you shits just where the FUCK you can get…"

The hammer clicked as Killjoy pulled out a gun and aimed at Blackfire.

"…off?"

"GUYS! WE'RE IN THE RPD! THERE'S GONNA BE…!" Control Freak yelled.

Killjoy's gun boomed.

And blew a hole through the zombie's head, the bullet zipping past Blackfire's own head to strike and finally shutting the ranting alien up.

"…zombies." Control Freak as he turned around, white at how close the undead creature had gotten to eating his brains.

"…say again Control Freak?" Slade said in annoyance.

"…we have zombies." Control Freak said, backing away from the creature.

"Zombies?"

"Zombies." Control Freak repeated.

"Zombies." Slade said, as if he couldn't believe it.

"Zombies." Nightwalker said matter of factly.

"Zombies." Dr. Westminster groaned.

"Zombies." Jack said in anticipation.

"CRIMSON HEAD!" Control Freak shrieked.

"What, those only appeared in the man-IYEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Dr. Light screamed as the now blood-red clawed shrieking corpse leapt back up and charged at a running like hell Control Freak as he ran screaming himself…

"A distraction. Thank you Raiden."

And then the further mutated biological experiment gone awry exploded, courtesy of one of Kurai's blasts.

"Dead head." Kurai said.

"…well then." Slade said. "Anything else I should know about zombies?"

"They don't come alone." Control Freak panted.

And then all the door slammed open, and they began to stream forth, dozens upon dozens of them, men turned to undead creatures of pure hunger, flesh rotting off their forms as they staggered towards the villains.

Slade looked at Control Freak like he was to blame for the massive attack, and the gamer grinned sheepishly.

And then Slade turned away, drew a handgun, and blew the head off several zombies in a quick spray of multiple shots before his gun ran dry.

"Brick, Adonis, get ready, the rest of you, kill them all!" Slade snapped as he snatched up his new gun. Rose had a finished prototype weapon, so did Slade: The XM-26 LSS, a specialized small shotgun attached to a M4A1 carbine rifle, giving Slade both rapid fire and spraying capacity.

Which Slade promptly showed off by cutting two zombies in half with a burst of fire and then, his hand blurring to the separate weapon, blowing the head off another zombie.

And his gun was swiftly joined by others as most every other villain opened fire in various directions, mowing down the zombies. Well, most: Sorceress covered her ears and kept her head down, Control Freak was trying to find his gun, Puppet King was just standing around looking annoyed and upset, Brick and Adonis were doing…something, and Dr. Light…was hiding behind the shooting villains screaming 'Hurt them! Hurt them!"

At least until Killjoy grabbed him and locked an arm around his neck to use him as a human shield.

Dr. Light screamed (like a girl, as you may have guessed), but Killjoy ignored him as he brought up Slade's 'toy': The HK XM-29 SABR assault rifle. It would have been impossible for most men to wield this advanced assault rifle/grenade launcher with one hand.

Killjoy was not most men, as he blew apart a pack of zombies with a 20mm grenade, cut down a few more with a spray of bullets, and then blew apart another five zombies with another grenade blast.

More Crimson Heads sprang up, but even they were swiftly blown apart by the sheer mass of firepower. Jack laughed as he emptied handgun after handgun into the mass, Rose, Westminster and Nightwalker fired their own machine rifles along with Slade and Killjoy, and Kurai and Blackfire just used their own innate energies.

"Oh yeah! Time to join in the gun pron!" Control Freak said as he found a handgun and began blasting away himself.

But the surge of zombies continued to come…

"Wilson! Ready!"

To their doom.

"EVERYONE DOWN!" Slade bellowed, and everyone ducked.

As Brick opened fire with a M61A1 vulcan cannon, having FINALLY gotten everything set up via Killjoy to use. He hadn't been ready with Goliath had attacked, but not this time. And considering the M61A1 was a weapon that supposed to be mounted on jet planes and fired at other vehicles…you can guess how well the zombies stood against it.

And just to drive the point home, Adonis almost opened fire…with twin MG-34 machine guns Slade had had attached to his robot suit's arms.

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHH! CHECK THESE PITCHES, BITCHES!" Adonis yelled. The pair did two quick sweeps.

When they were done, nothing was around the villains except a gigantic pile of destroyed, rotten flesh, the rubble of a fountain and desk setup, and badly riddled walls.

The villains paused, looking at the mess, as it began to fade away…

And then, almost as an afterthought, Nightwalker handed a pained looking Sorceress a pair of ear plugs.

"You're a little late." She groused.

"No guarantee of that…" Nightwalker replied.

As the new zombies ran in screaming and snarling, before Killjoy and Slade quickly blew them apart. They were replaced, tenfold, as the attack resumed anew.

"AH! RUNNING DAWN REMAKE ZOMBIES! NO WAIT RAGE 28 TIME PERIOD ZOMBIES! AHHHHHH! BOTH!" Control Freak shrieked. The villains didn't really care for specifics, as they all opened fire again.

Motion exploded on the upper levels, and then deformed, half skeletal zombies began leaping off the balconies at the villains.

"WE'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOULS! WE'LL SWALLOW YOUR…!" They howled before Adonis and Nightwalker blew them out of the air.

"DEADITES!" Control Freak shrieked.

Brownish-green arms erupted out of the ground, bringing disgusting creatures with glowing eyes. Dr. Westminster and Killjoy introduced them to some bullets, green blood exploding from the mutant bodies.

"CHUDS!" Control Freak cried.

"GET DOWN!" Brick yelled, and laid loose with another spray of Vulcan death, blowing apart the zombie ranks.

But more came, among them…young schoolgirls?

Blood-splattered, rotting, snarling with bloody mouths schoolgirls.

"STACIES!" Control Freak gibbered.

Slade introduced them to Mr. Gun regardless, and they splattered just as good as the typical zombies…and kept coming, their pieces slowly dragging themselves towards the villain group where their bigger brethren stayed down. Slade growled.

"We're getting pressed in here! Don't let yourself be overwhelmed!" Slade ordered, as Ravager's gun ran dry and she dropped it, drawing twin Walter P99's and resuming fire.

"Here they come from the top again!" Westminister yelled, and then zombies with fanged filled mouths and clawed hands leapt from the balconies. Kurai, Jack, and Nightwalker shot them down. They splattered black.

"…Spider…Freaks…from Webs?" Control Freak guessed.

"WHY are there so many FREAKING types of zombies!" Dr. Westminster yelled.

"I told you Hollywood was a cesspool! And will you do something more useful then just yell out whatever new creature we're facing!" Slade snapped, as he rapidly reloaded his twin weapons. A Stacy arm flopped at him, and he kicked it aside. "AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THESE SCHOOLGIRL PARTS!"

"There's something you don't hear every day." Brick mused, as he looked at Sorceress, who was looking around at the carnage with increasing stunned shock. He poked her, and she looked up.

"The parts of the girl creatures! Can you get rid of them!" He yelled. How the Sorceress heard him, he didn't know, but she did, as she turned and raised her arms, tapping into what she had to seize the writhing pieces and throw them towards the back of the room, even knocking over a few zombies in the process, as they just…kept…coming…

As a new crowd spilled out through a nearby door…a crowd of blistered, infested human-types in paper gowns.

"Help us…help us…" They groaned, writhing towards the villains.

"What the…AHHHH! INFECTED!" Control Freak yelped.

Slade aimed his gun at them…and found it wouldn't fire.

"Don't!" Control Freak yelled as he ran over with his remote. "Don't shoot them! They're carrying thousands of diseases! It'll kill us…like if they touch us. CRAP!" Control Freak yelled. "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!"

The fat nerd began to run away before Slade seized him by the shoulder, even as Adonis and Brick tried to push back the crowd, but the crowd pressed on towards the villains.

"No, corpulent one. ITHLIAN! I NEED A PUSH!" Slade yelled, pointing at the approaching infected.

Fortunately for Slade, Sorceress didn't misconstrue his statement and push Slade into the poor Infected: instead she slammed them back the way they came with mournful wails.

"And as for you, you just reminded me what your gun can do. So do it to everything, now." Slade ordered.

"But…"

"NOW!" Slade yelled as he drew another handgun and pressed it against his head.

"…okay." Control Freak said, as he turned and aimed at the attacking zombie legions. "PAUSE!"

And just like that, all the zombies stopped. Just like the films they were from.

"This is too exposed, we need an area easier to protect." Slade said.

"Then let's go out the door here!" Jack yelled, pointing to the exit door behind them.

"I don't trust that door. We…"

And then suddenly all the zombies were lunging forward again, and Slade's eye widened, barely getting his gun up to defend himself. "CONTROL FREAK!"

"You said freeze them! I WOULD have said it would only last ten seconds at such a far scope, Mr. Smartypants!" Control Freak yelled, as he ignited his lightsaber-esque weapon and began cutting down attacking zombies.

"Slade! I don't have much ammo left!" Brick called. Slade looked at the giant…

And then his eyes were drawn to the NEW giants approaching from the shadows of the shattered walls in the distance. In they came, giant figures of Brick-like muscle, their patchwork skins barely seemed to cover their frames, giant square metal packs on their back as they began pushing their way through their smaller brethren.

"…Holy shit. Embalmed Abominations." Control Freak said.

"Then use it on them!" Slade yelled, pointing at the approaching giants…as Control Freak's eyes went wide.

Brick aimed the gun.

"NO WAIT SLADE THEY…"

And opened fire.

"EXPLODE!"

As the bullets ripped into the giants.

And they did blow up. They blew up good, shaking the entire building as zombies and flaming liquid and solids flew everywhere, even raining down on the villains. In the several seconds it took for them to ensure none of them were on fire, the entire lobby had caught instead.

"Slade! We're going to suffer severe causalities if we stay here!" Nightwalker yelled, as Kurai, Jack, and Blackfire tried to hold off the flaming zombie remnants with natural talents, bullets having been running out for a while and no real time to reload…

Slade narrowed his eye again, looking at the lone exit available…

As a flaming zombie stumbled through the fire…a zombie covered with explosives.

Explosives that were on fire.

Slade's eye went from narrow to wide.

"Bloody hell." Slade said, and with a whirl he blew the double doors that exited the RPD open. They yawned open to reveal consuming blackness. "GO GO GO GO!"

And so the villains barreled out through the front doors of the RPD, trying to avoid the fire…

And getting that strange tingling sensation again…

And Forest Whittaker exploded, and the entire RPD lobby was consumed by cleansing fire.

Slow zombies are from Night of the Living Dead and Resident Evil. Crimson Heads and that one dangerous zombie Forest Whittaker are from the Resident Evil remake. The running zombies are from the Dawn of the Dead remake and 28 Days/Weeks later. The Deadites are from the Evil Dead series, the CHUD's (Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers) are from the film C.H.U.D, the Stacies are from the Japanese horror comedy Stacy, the 'Spider Freaks' are from the Sci-Fi Channel TV movie Webs, The Infected are from the Doctor Who Series 2 opening episode 'New Earth', and the Embalmed Abominations are from the MMORPG City of Heroes.

My creator took the time to find and catalogue all this variance. Readers, PLEASE tell her she needs a life.

As the villains ended up passing through another barrier, the sensation flowing through them…

"Can anyone see a damn thing?"

"Where are we going?"

"Knowing our luck we're probably at the bottom of a coal mine."

"No, knowing the way this has gone so far we're going to end up in Halloweentown."

"I certainly hope not, I can't sing worth a…"

And then they emerged.

They expected, in all fairness, to land in something worse. A street full of werewolves instead of zombies, or maybe the town of Barrow, Alaska, full of more fire and death, the stench of burning buildings filling their noses as the byproducts of the fire spewed up, engulfing the air above them.

The stench they got was something different.

The Sorceress had not made it many steps out the door when she tripped and fell. Waving Brick off, she looked up slightly, panting. She was not good when it came to running, yet so far she was still alive and breathing. Breathing far too heavily for her taste, actually: with the loss of her ability to float and fly she had to 'hoof' it as the saying went, and she didn't like it, not one bit. Her own concerns however were washed away as she looked up.

They were in a city still, but the buildings were different. This was not a place under siege: the structures looked older, smaller. And while they were not pristine, their damage was not of a location laid to waste by societal breakdown and chaos in the streets. This was a different wear and tear, as if the buildings had been abandoned for months, if not years.

Alone.

The buildings were alone, an effect magnified by a pea soup fog that filled the streets, obscuring the buildings. Even though there were still a large number of them, they still FELT alone. Isolated.

Deserted.

"…Why do I suspect this calmer situation is nowhere near as beneficial as it seems." Slade said, as he reloaded his gun, an action that prompted several of the villains to do likewise (save Brick, who couldn't carry around the massive ammo drums and hence has just shouldered his weapon. Adonis' suit wasn't hampered by the same problem and was reloading ammo mechanically). Dr. Westminster, meanwhile, stepped forward a little, taking a closer look at the surroundings. He did not go too far: with the fog in the streets thicker than milkshake, he didn't dare.

Snow seemed to fall from the skies, fluttering down lightly on to the white hat of the doctor…but something was wrong with it. It wasn't pure white, and started to mark the doctor's fedora with grey spots. Westminster took his hat off and examined it, even as his white mask became the subject of the 'snow's' interest. Whatever it was, he doubted it was snow.

"I don't like this…" Jack commented in an off-handed manner as he took a step back, his Grimmer fingers elongating into cruel, cutting blades. Something was telling him, shouting at him that he shouldn't be here; as if the whole place was screaming 'I will take you' into his subconscious. Without a target, it clearly greatly agitated the psychotic Australian, as his eyes darted about, looking for either something to hit or something to run screaming from. As long as he had some kind of OPTION, instead of this damnable calm.

"Neither do I. We might be better off if we went back the way we came." Nightwalker said as she continued to peer around at the lonely town landscape, or what she could see of it. There was an ominous familiarity about it, something she remembered from before, something that had reverberated in her as well which told her to run and run as fast as she could, a fact her sword and orb launchers couldn't dispel.

"Well you heard the motion of the birdie, I say aye!" Jack declared: while he constantly declared he wasn't a coward, he knew when taking shelter inside was better than standing around outside.

He turned, still looking back, as he started to run…

Only he didn't hit door. It was gone.

There wasn't even a building in front of him any more. There was just more fog, road, wire fence…

"SHIT!" The Australian cursed.

…And a dirty great chasm, stretching for far beyond the human sphere of sight into a near infinite stretch. Jack managed to stop just at the lip, his toes on the size twelve shoes he wore slipping over the edge as he swung his arms futilely, attempting to gain some scrap of balance before he fell.

"SHITSHITSHITSHIT!" He bellowed; as if in the hopes he could swing himself back to safety with words, but they were as wasted as his swinging motions. He was going to fall, and he wasn't going to stay alive when it was done, whether by his own bad luck or the ravine's 'wish'…
But despite himself, he wasn't alone, as Brick reached out and seized him by his jacket, dragging him away from the edge with a yank, causing Jack to fall backwards onto his ass with a rather un-masculine squawk.

"Fools do rush in." Brick commented. One might ask why he'd saved the murderer, but to Brick it was simple numbers: Jack may have been annoying, a bigot and a misogynist, but he was useful in any situation that involved a fight, and when his powers fully came back, he will be rather difficult to stop.

Plus he had the extra ammo stuffed away in his jacket.

"Talk about not looking before you leap." Westminster commented. That earned him an intense glare and a certain finger from Jack. "Okay, I admit that was bad, but it was appropriate." Westminister said, and turned away.

Unfortunately not seeing beyond the surface anger in Jack's eyes to what lay beyond. If he had, maybe things would have gone differently.

"Well then. Going back isn't an option. Looks like we have to go forward into the town, whatever town it is." Slade said, as he turned to Control Freak. "Where are we, corpulent one?"

Control Freak didn't answer: he seemed momentarily frozen. Slade didn't much like that, as The Sorceress, having finally gotten her breath back, managed to stagger to her feet and dusted herself off, still breathing, still alive. She sniffed the air lightly. She'd put a finger on the scent.

It smelled like decay.

"Uh guys…?"Adonis said, as he drew the villain's attention to where he was standing, having walked over to a sign of simple green with gold writing that looked like it had seen many better years. It had a simple inscription.

It smelled like rot…a rot infused with dark, dangerous magics.

WELCOME TO SILENT HILL.

"…anyone got a radio?" Control Freak squeaked.

"What? Why would that be necessary?" Slade asked.

Control Freak looked at Slade, and then he took a deep, Ace Ventura style breath…and spilled out in rapid panic a story about a video game series that took place (mostly) in a town called Silent Hill, where reality seemed softer then the norm and which seemed to act as a kind of purgatory for people who'd sinned, where they would face terrible creatures and tests to see if they were worthy of redemption…

"All right, I get it. Fine. If they want to test us…"

"No dammit Slade Wilson! You don't get it! The people in the games, they were for the most part morally grey! And it still manifested a legion of horrors! What do you think it's going to do with a group of the 'big bad's?"

"Well it…it can't be…surely…" Slade said…

As he glanced around…as the mist no longer seemed so calm, no longer seemed so empty, like it now hid untold numbers of horrors…

…horrors only shown by the briefest of shadows, the smallest of movements…

That indicated to Slade that something was out there.

A LOT of somethings.

"Daddy?" Rose asked. Slade snarled.

And when Deathstroke the Terminator decided the best course of action was to run, you LISTENED, as the villains took off down the misty streets, the shadows drifting and surging behind them…

As Slade's eye managed to be on the proper side to catch a glimpse of movement, as he stopped.

"Wait! In there!" Slade yelled, as he turned and ran towards…a small supermarket. Before the villains knew what they were doing, they'd all run through doors.

"…oh PEACHY." Jack Djinn said as he looked around. "If anyone mentioned an Arrowhead Project, I am out of here."

"What are we doing sir?" Kurai asked, as Slade stalked to the back of the store.

And found the Cheshire Cat standing before an open door, grinning as usual.

"Give us an exit, entity." Slade said, aiming his weapon.

"When the crows dive it takes time for them to realize the mistake they have made, then it can only lead into the mouth of mouths." The Cheshire Cat said. But he did not disappear this time. This time he turned and ran through the door behind him.

"Follow him. Anywhere is better then this!" Slade said, and the villains piled through the door.

Freddy's lair.

"This is fun! What other crazy nonsense can I make this cat say?" Freddy cackled. "Well, until I think of some more, time for your next present, bitch!"

"…well, you said it Slade-sama." Kurai said.

"…I really should not be surprised, but even if that is true, it doesn't stop me from being any less annoyed." Slade said as he looked around.

From police station under siege to a town far too close to hell…to a hedge maze.

"Are we in the bloody Shining?" Dr. Westminster asked.

"No snow." Brick commented.

"And extra style. This is the Hedge Maze from Alice!" Control Freak gleefully revealed.

"And this is better then that Silent Hill town?" Slade asked, looking around at the centre they were in, multiple exits built of hedge and laced with a metal curb and cornering, the symbols of the four signs of cards glowing from the lattice and providing illumination.

"Well yeah! It's…prettier!"

Slade once again pondered shooting Control Freak and then decided it wasn't worth the bullet.

"Mr. Freak, this game seems to keep encroaching on us. Why is that?"

"I…"

And once again the Cheshire Cat faded into being before Slade. This time Slade didn't even get a chance to aim his gun.

"By using an insignificant present, you have a very fruitful experience that cannot be understood by someone who does not use something insignificant." The Cat said, and promptly faded away.

"…that wasn't what I expected." Slade said. "Now…wait." The assassin said, as he did a quick head count. "Where is Miss Sine?"

"HELP!" Nightwalker cried…from down amongst the villain's feet. When she'd gone through the door, she'd had the sensation of intense vertigo……and then found herself stumbling amongst tall green pillars, alone. Calling up her helmet to scan for her fellows, she'd been somewhat alarmed when it had identified the tall pillars as grass.

And when the voices had started booming overhead, and Nightwalker had goggled up to look at her teammates, now impossibly large giants, she realized her fate. The horror atmosphere had slammed another hammer on her, right out of the blue. She was literally underfoot.

And listening to their now-booming-to-her voices confirmed why: they were in some Alice in Wonderland world variant. No wonder she'd shrunk. And she hadn't even ingested any labelled food! Those fucking cheats.

"I'M DOWN HERE! LOOK DOWN! BRICK! DR. WESTMINSTER! LOOK DOWN!" Nightwalker screamed, but the simple noises the villains made speaking and moving drowned out her voice. And she severely doubted she could keep up to them if they left. How could this get any worse?

That was the last kind of thought she should have had.

And she suddenly heard a strange chittering noise, and she turned to see the ants approaching.

And these weren't friendly looking ants. The fact that they were red and seemed to be a mix of humanoid and insect qualities hinted that. The fact they were actually wearing old-fashioned army clothes confirmed it.

Talk about falling down the rabbit hole.

"…." Nightwalker 'said', and then she wordlessly drew the Lightscourge.

"…I guess something in the previous world seized her. A pity, I suppose." Slade said. "Now, Control Freak, how do we get out of here?"

"Uh…well it's been a while since I played the game…"

"Never mind then, we shall just burn a way out."

"….Wilson, I don't think that will work." Brick intoned.

"Oh? And just what will stop us?"

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!"

"I should stop even thinking such thoughts." Slade growled, and snapped up his main gun.

As the card men swarmed from the hedge maze exits, grotesquely shaped creatures that looked like fat men having been squished to be thin as cards, all suits represented: black clubs with literal long clubs, red diamonds with stabbing spears, black spades with crushing/stabbing spades, and blood red hearts with barbed heart staffs, all yelling the same thing as they charged to eliminate the intruders via the method of decapitation.

The villains had a rather united response as well. It sounded like this: BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMETCETC!

The first wave exploded into a mess of shredded white flesh and spraying blood, but the card men behind them just trampled over the falling bodies without hesitation, and before the villains could react they had been pressed into a circle, frantically trying to hold the advancing legions off.

"I blame the cat." Slade muttered, and as if on cue said cat appeared. Slade glared at it. The cat grinned back, and spoke.

"The wind in the willows and the frog and the toad, a clue is hidden in this load! The warthegups and the tloomarinds frolik in the gimble!"

And the cat disappeared.

And Slade, despite himself, somehow found himself even more annoyed.

And down below, two literal 'army ants' exploded into flame as Sine blasted them with napalm orbs. A third snapped at her from behind with its deadly sharp incisors, but Sine cartwheeled to the side and then leapt up, severing the ant's head from its 'shoulders'. Another sprinted at her, but Sine didn't run: she just charged at it in turn…and juked to the side at the last second, cutting off the ant's left legs in three quick swipes, then whirling and putting another flame orb into it's back. It writhed and burned.

And another ten came to take its place.

"Some Raid, some Raid, my kingdom for some Raid." Nightwalker growled, and opened fire with more fire and acid orbs, trying to stem the deadly tide and avoid being surrounded. But there were so many…

And then…things got even worse, as the battle erupted above Sine and the sky began filled with descending, crushing feet of death, a fact Sine found out as her light abruptly cut off and she looked up to see a boot descending on her small, frail form.

"GODDAMN YOU FREDDY!"

"Ohhhhhhhhh, ain't I a stinker?" The scarred nightmare man cracked, and then laughed wickedly.

"And I thought I was rid of this situation! Make an exit!" Slade ordered, as he dropped his empty gun and drew his sword, no time to get another firearm as he began slicing and dicing.

"I'm trying master, but every time I blast a hole it fills right back up!" Kurai yelled.

"Control Freak use your remote!"

"I ran its battery dry back in the police department!"

Slade finally bought himself a second and drew out a SIG 226 pistol, emptying it into attacking card guards. That only bough him another two seconds.

As the cat appeared again.

"I hear it's amazing when the famous purple stuffed worm in flap-jaw space with the tuning fork does a raw blink on Hara-kiri Rock. I need scissors! 61!"

As the cat vanished, Slade wondered, not for the first time, if he was just dreaming.

Then card guards required his blade again.

"FOCUS FIRE THEN! CUT AN ESCAPE PATH! DO IT!" Slade yelled, and a new wave of bullets exploded out, but it seemed pointless: more and more card guards came, pressing in on the villains, as guns ran dry and ranks grew close. Talk about having a dead man's hand…

And then, in mid-attack, the legions of card creatures suddenly stopped.

And then, like someone had flipped a switch, they were all fleeing, trampling over each other to get away from the villains. Their retreat was so total Killjoy and Jack even shot and stabbed several in the back with no repercussions.

Within moments the hedge maze was deserted save for the villains and the fading corpses of card men…and a familiar figure.

"Cowards, one and all..." Alice said, as she stepped out, her arms clutching an overly large shotgun like weapon with a funneled end. "The title of soldier hardly fits them."

"…You again." Slade said, even as he grabbed up and reloaded his gun. Killjoy did the same: the rest of the villains just stared.

"I would be impressed that you survived in Wonderland, were it not for how disappointing these card guards have become." Alice said, as she walked forward, her blunderbuss at the ready. It seemed strange: the girl Alice looked thin, almost abnormally so, and looked rather weak, but her blunderbuss was huge, and she handled it with ease. She seemed intent to walk through the party.

Three laser dots beaded on her head.

"Your babbling feline brought us to this trouble. I suggest you make due for him, or you can pay the devil instead." Slade stated.

"Hey man! Don't shoot Alice! Alice is cool!" Control Freak protested.

"Very well, I will shoot you instead."

"Sorry Alice, you're not that cool." Control Freak quickly said, as he hid behind a weary looking Brick, who had been forced to use his empty gun as a bludgeoning club. At least he wasn't much hurt.

"Hey! I'm down here! WOULD ONE OF YOU DEAF BASTARDS LOOK DOWN!" Sine roared as loud as she could down among the trampled grass, the bodies of ant soldiers strewn around her. Strange how, considering how little experience she had, she had proven better at not getting trodden underfoot then her foes. "WILL ONE OF YOU LOOK DOWN, I'M DOWN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The villains didn't hear her, but Alice did, as she reached down and plucked Sine up by her tattered cape.

"Hmmmm. Well." Alice said. "You ate one of the carrots, didn't you?"

"I didn't do anything! I walk through a door and suddenly I'm in Honey I Shrunk the Kids!" Sine protested.

Alice looked blankly at the reference, as one would expect, as she shouldered her blunderbuss and reached into an apron pocket with her now free hand, holding up a small piece of mushroom.

"You'll only need a little after all." She said. Sine, perhaps letting her anger at suddenly being shrunk override her common sense, did not hesitate in taking a bite.

BAMF! Sine was back to normal, so quickly Alice took a step back in mild surprise.

"Thanks. That was big of you. Er, I mean…uh…" Sine trailed off.

"If the Queen is so intent on killing you, I'd rather you all live to spite her." Alice said.

"Yes young lady, but that doesn't change the fact our near deaths happened because of your cat." Slade said, his gun still at the ready and aimed at Alice.

"He rarely says anything useful as it is, though he's never put me in harm's way. Can the same be said for you…or perhaps…" Alice said, and raised a hand. Within moments the Cheshire Cat had faded into being next to her. "Ah my dear feline, it is a question to who could hold YOUR tongue, much less speak for it…but that is a riddle I have an answer to." Alice said, as she stroked the cat under the chin.

"…much obliged." The Cheshire Cat said. "Perhaps I shall stay in closer proximity for now... It seems that when I wander there are forces at work beyond even the Queen's control, but you've grown strong enough to fend them off."

"Then I should be able to kill the Queen as well." Alice said, drawing her blunderbuss again.

"Say! Why IS a raven like a writing desk?" Control Freak asked. All the guns switched to him. "On second thought I'm happier not knowing!"

"Even if your cat was controlled by another, we still require an exit. Preferably one to a saner clime." Slade said.

"If another door is all you wish…" Alice said as she turned around.

A lone, possibly driven mad Club card man swung at her.

The next second there was a red and white smear on the hedge wall where a card man had once been, as Alice lowered her smoking gun.

"That should do for interruptions." Alice said, and lead the villains to another door. "Here is where you wish to go. It will also be the last place you wish to go."

"Seek and ye shall find, they say, but they don't say what you'll find." The Cheshire Cat added.

"Don't you have anything useful to tell us?" Alice said with mild exasperation.

"Would a neutering loosen his tongue?" Jack asked as he formed finger blades.

"I can't know everything. Pretend you're an orphan-oh! That was rude, you are." The Cheshire Cat said, and then faded away leaving only a wicked grin, and then not even that.

"Hmph." Alice said, as she once again shouldered her blunderbuss and took out what looked to be a croquet mallet.

Once again, multiple guns were aimed at her.

"I have no trifle with you, or I would not have led you to an exit and put away my weapon. I have other matters to attend to." Alice said as she walked past them and back towards the maze.

"I'd call you mad, except I think you passed that state a while back." Dr. Light said.

"Mad?" Alice said, as she turned and looked back…as for a moment, her eyes blazed. "We're all mad here. I'm mad, you're mad, otherwise we wouldn't have come here."

As a loud, snarling voice suddenly boomed overhead.

"You bet your ass I'm mad, bitch!"

And Alice and her cat were abruptly swallowed by darkness, darkness that moved to claim the entire hedge maze.

"THROUGH THE DOOR! NOW!" Slade yelled, and the villains as one charged at it, regardless of what was on the other side.

Which turned out to be…a paper-strewn empty street.

"We are back in Jump City! Finally free!" Kurai triumphed, as he threw himself on the ground and kissed the street…and then began violently spitting. "PUH! UGH! My gratitude is fading rapidly!"

"And my daughter is the one with the supposed lowered intelligence." Slade said as he looked around, scanning the streets. They'd apparently come out of an empty warehouse, the exit door leading into its dim recesses. The only thing around were trash-strewn windy streets, a few more warehouses, and…

Slade heard the noise bellow behind him, and he whirled.

As the warehouse wall exploded outward, and Goliath smashed his way free, smashing the villains aside like his previous entrance, his body torn, twisted, and ripped into, but still functioning fully well.

"Found you." Goliath said, as its weapons snapped up.

And with a mighty shriek of her own the White Hole leapt onto Goliath, ripping and tearing at it with battered claws as Goliath bellowed and turned its attention to her.

"Why will you not cease function!?!" Goliath snapped, as an arc of electricity zapped out and struck the White Hole, immobilizing her long enough for Goliath to grab her and slam her into the street, shattering the pavement, before he hurled her across the street into another warehouse wall.

And a new storm of firepower greeted Goliath, White Hole having bought time for the villains to regroup. The machine staggered out the assault: accursed alien, it simply would not cease its attack on him, refusing to die…

But neither would Goliath, as it retaliated with a storm of deadly projectiles and arcing electrical and laser blasts, the villains scattering under the scope of the attack as Goliath rampaged forward, heading for the masked leader.

"Rebecca?" Nightwalker said as she ran over to the fallen alien.

"It's life…or replication thereof…is proving remarkably troublesome…to terminate." The White Hole hissed through bloody teeth as she forced herself to her feet. The fact that she was able to do so seemed a miracle: her body looked like it should have ceased living herself four times over.

And she didn't seem to feel any of in. In fact, she looked almost…happy, as Goliath stomped towards Slade.

"Rebecca…"

"Miss Sine. If you still persist in this ridiculous camaraderie you think you and I share…then stand aside. I will finish this on my own." The White Hole coughed, as blood hissed on the ground, leaking from a dozen wounds.

"I'll fight with you…"

"No. You will not." The White Hole said, as she looked at Nightwalker, her eyepatch gone and the dark hole where one eye had been staring at her along with the other, dull black eye. "You will…get its attention. And then stand aside."

Nightwalker looked at the alien, realizing her plan.

"…it will be glorious." She said, finally understanding.

"I produce nothing less." The White Hole said, as she reached deep down within herself. "And now…I shall undo this damnable entity…AND NOTHING LESS!"

And the White Hole charged in berserker fashion, as Sine armed and fired explosive orbs, the projectiles smashed into Goliath and distracting from Slade, as he turned around…

And the White Hole crashed into him, seizing onto his body and actually lifting it up for a moment as she barreled along…

And smashed into the only thing in the area besides warehouses: an electrical substation, the White Hole tearing through the metal structures as wires snapped, transformers blew, and a gigantic eruption of sparks and electrical shorts exploded from the ruins, as Goliath fell to the ground, electricity blasting into him. Had he been at an optimal state, this would have done nothing at all, but the endless barrage of firepower mixed with the never-ceasing attack of the alien…

Who was being zapped herself, but not strong enough to find the two biggest black cables she could, the ends sparking as she seized them up, and leapt.

"FOR THE EMPIRE!"

And she drove them into Goliath's head, and the whole city flickered and darkened as the substation exploded in fire and brilliant radiance.

"Toast." Adonis said, and kicked Goliath's blackened head, the metal partially crumbling, the creature's body lying prone in the ruins of the power substation.

"Then we move on." Slade said, and turned away, leading the group onward as Goliath's body began to fade away.

And nearby, lying prone, unmoving, was the scorched and blackened body of the White Hole, thrown clear but not unaffected. There had been only one exit from the path the White Hole had walked, and it was evident to Sine even before she knelt by the alien.

"it…dead?" The White Hole rasped.

"…ashes to ashes, dust to dust." Nightwalker replied. The White Hole let out a low chuckle, as blood streamed from her mouth.

"…well…then…guess…it's done. Like…dinner." White Hole chuckled. "…sorry…kid…you're…on…your…own…now."

"I can take care of myself." Nightwalker said.

"…huh…I guess….you can." The White Hole said. "Strange…the…thought…just…strange?"

And then the White Hole shuddered and went still.

Sine looked down at her, and then closed her remaining eye, a gesture that was surely a first for the alien. Her death was always celebrated, never mourned.

But times change.

"…it can be undone." Nightwalker whispered. "Stopping the manifestation undoes its acts. It did for me…I will do it for you. I promise."

"Miss Sine, move or be left." Slade called. Nightwalker didn't hesitate, as she stood up.

"Rest now. Time for me to raze some hell."

And Nightwalker sheathed the Lightscourge and chased after the villains, as they moved into the blighted, cursed city.

"AND NOW YOU DIE!" The Sugarman yelled as he kicked a door down and charged…into a shattered, broken ruin that had once been the Villain Café, now long empty and abandoned.

"…hey, where did everybody go? Was it something I said?"

Next Time, In Boogeymen III!

"So where are we NOW?" Slade cursed.

"We're on a journey of souls and swords, while searching for the ultimate blade, the Soul Calibur." Dr. Westminister said.

"Dibs on Nightmare's moveset!" Control Freak called.

"AW!"

8888

"Oh here I come back from the dead the dead to…" Zombie Strong Bad declared…before his head broke off his neck and rolled away. "HOLY craaaaaaaap…!"

8888

"So, Wade Wilson, we finally meet!" Deathstroke declared.

"…what a twist!" Deadpool said.

8888

"So wait, that supposed Japanese only ending where Godzilla wins is just a Hollywood myth? WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!" Control Freak complained.

"Grrrrr roarrrr groarrr." King Kong said. (No, that would be the American Godzilla remake)

"RAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!" Godzilla bellowed. (Oh shut up Mr. Peter Jackson on speed dial!)

8888

And on his Gamestation, Jedi-And played a game…a game called Boogeymen III.

"Oh come on! This is the cheesiest sequel ever!"