The Avengers Should Not Be Looked Upon As Behavioral Role Models

Rowen groaned sleepily as her cellphone's ring tone cut through the room. Beside her, a second voice groaned as well, arms tightening around her. "Rowen, don't answer it."

"Can't Tom," muttered Rowen, her voice rough and her accent heavy. If she could get away with that, she would. Unfortunately, it was Coulson's ring tone. "Bloody Coulson calling." Snatching up her phone, she half-buried her face back into her pillow as she spoke. "What."

"Your students are in lock-up," informed Coulson's bland voice.

Any sleepiness which had been in her system was gone in an instant, replaced by irritation. "Please tell me this is a joke."

"I'm afraid not, Agent Le Fey."

Sighing, Rowen sat up and rubbed her eyes. "What did they do? It'll determine if I come bail them out or not."

The sound of shuffling paper echoed over the line for a moment before Coulson spoke again. "I have assault, apparently from a bar fight, destruction of private property, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, and public indecency. Apparently, one member of the group lost their clothing somewhere in the chaos."

"Oh bloody...what exactly happened?" asked Rowen with a growl, pressing her face against her knees in irritation.

Coulson chuckled on the other end of the phone. "Agent Gent is apparently the one who started the bar fight by hitting on a woman at the bar. It turned into a back-room tryst, which the girl's boyfriend walked in on. Hence, the bar fight, assault charge, and public indeceny charge. Agent Corvin has been arrested in conjunction with the fight. Apparently, he attempted to break things up and ended up joining the fight instead when he was thrown into a pool table.

"Why am I not surprised," muttered Rowen. "What about Agent Hunter?"

"Agent Hunter smashed every empty drink glass handed to him tonight followed by the call of 'another!'," replied Coulson. "He's the one being charged with intentional destruction of private property. And, before you ask, Agent Kaswaski has been arrested for pinning someone to a wall with a series of knives. Apparently, the man was drunk and hitting on her."

It didn't taken Rowen more than half a second to decide what she wanted to do. "Let them sit in jail for the night. I'll go get them out tomorrow."

"Good choice, Agent Le Fey," agreed Coulson.

Feeling Tom's hand sliding up and down her back, she let some of her frustation flow out of her. "Did they say why they did any of this?"

"Apparently, because the Avengers do," replied Coulson mildly.

"That's disturbing," growled Rowen. "Thank you for notifying me, Agent Coulson."

"Of course, Agent Le Fey." The echo of a dial tone carried over the line, telling Rowen that Coulson had disconnected the call.

Setting her own phone back on the nightstand, she rolled towards Tom with a scowl. "Did you catch all that?"

"Yeah," confirmed Tom, brow furrowing. "What are you gonna do?"

"You'll see," replied Rowen before she burrowed herself back against Tom. "Now go back to sleep. We've got four agents to torture in the morning."

Four blear-eyed, pained faces rose to look at Rowen as she walked into the room. Tom followed right behind her, smirking slightly along with Barton. He'd run into them in the hallway and asked to be witness to the fury he thought was about to be unleashed. And Rowen would be unleashing her fury on her students. They were going to bring her accent back at this point.

"Commander," greeted Arthur, standing shakily and offering her a salute. If they hadn't managed to so severely piss her off at this point, she might have felt bad for him. She knew Arthur was probably only in here because he refused to abandon the others.

Holding her hand out for the keys to the cell, the officer handed the ring over to her with the right one extended. She opened the door without a word, handing the keys back to the officer again before refocusing on her students. Her accent was heavy as she spoke, but every word was easily discernible. "Tip #5: The Avengers should never, under any circumstances, be viewed as behavioral role models. Especially the alien members. If I have to bail you out of jail again for something like this, your punishment this time will look like a bloody walk in the park. Now, I want all of you in the gun range at HQ in twenty minutes. No excuses, no delays. I don't care how hung over you all are, there's water at S.H.I.E.L.D. Go."

Tom and Barton both moved out of the way as all four of the recruits went running from the room as fast as their hung-over bodies could. Which was surprisingly fast given the state they were in. Sighing, Rowen turned to Tom and Barton, smirking at both of them. "Well, are you prepared to make their lives miserable?"

"When have you ever known us to pass up the chance to punish others for their stupidity?" asked Tom with a smirk.

"Messing with the newbies is always fun," agreed Barton with a grin. "They'll never want to pull this crap again. Only Avengers can pull this shit off."

"And even you can't," remarked Rowen with a sigh and shake of her head, her accent still heavy. "Bloody loons, the lot of 'em."

Barton's eyebrow shot up in surprise. "Is your accent coming back?"

"Yes," growled Rowen. "Now, let's get back to base. We have four recruits to teach a lesson to."