(Rider)

I don't know whose idea it was to go on a car trip, but after two hours stuck in a car with Pip, I am regretting it.
"How long?" I ask through gritted teeth. Lindsay smiles at me in the rear view mirror.
"About three hours. We can stop for the night if you want? Do the rest in the morning?"

"No." I shake my head. Just get this ride over and done with. Danny sits next to me, staring intently at the small Nintendo screen in her lap, ignoring the clash of Ty and Pip's music. On my left Ty turns the volume up on her headphones, blasting out some obscure song and Pip compensates by changing the song and turning the volume to the max. Ty yells obscenities at the top of her lungs.
This has been going for the entire journey.
Pip turns around in her seat and looks Ty in the eye.
"I'll be your pussycat, licking your milk right now…" she sings, looking coyly up through her eyelashes. Ty clenches her fists and looks like she's about to punch Pip but Lindsay reaches out and turns the music right down again.
"Ty, turn your fucking music off! Both of you stop winding each other up and be nice! You will listen to Pip's music for a while then Ty's and if either of you says another word you are both walking!"
Pip sticks her tongue out which Lindsay ignores, and Ty contents herself with glaring viscously at the back of Pip's headrest. Danny chuckles quietly to herself, not looking up.
The relative quiet is nice. Pip begins to mime along to the songs looking at Ty and Lindsay for reactions to her suggestive movements. They both ignore her. My arse begins to fall asleep, left leg soon following. Taking a deep breath I stare out the window at the passing countryside.
The press still hasn't stopped going on about the bank robbery that just happened to coincide with Pip and Lindsay's arrival. That was why someone had suggested this hellish journey. To get away from the city.

A Gary Newman song comes on and Pip looks at Lindsay meaningfully. Lindsay coughs.
"Oh look. Is that a motel? Let's stop shall we?" she pulls into a dingy car park, leaving the car on so the music continues.
"What-?" I begin but Lindsay and Pip are already out of the car, making their way towards the reception. Less than a minute later they reappear but walk straight past the car and into one of the rooms, slamming the door behind them. I look to Danny for an explanation.
"You don't even want to know." She tells me before going back to her game with a resigned sigh. I lean into the back and close my eyes. The lyrics sink into my brain and I realise what Gary Newman song this is.
'Cars'.

3.58 seconds later they reappear, laughing at some unheard joke.
"Sorry 'bout that." Pip smiles, looking back at me. Ty mutters some obscenity under her breath and Danny just asks if we can hurry up and get going again. Lindsay clips in her seatbelt, avoiding all eye contact, a faint blush colouring her cheeks.
"What just happened?" I demand.
"Do you really want to know?" Danny asks. I nod. I have to know. "Pip, can I swap seats with you for a while?"

Pip jumps out and Danny climbs into the front. Pip grins as she slides in next to me.
"I'm sure you aint that innocent. Can't you guess?" she says cheekily in reply to my questioning stare. I purse my lips and stare at her in distaste.
"That's disgusting" Ty comments.
"Only to you." Pip yawns and settles back against the seat, closing her eyes.
"Don't let her get too sleepy." Lindsay warns from the front, still not looking at anybody.
Ty puts in her headphones again and stared out the window, Danny goes back to her game, occasionally swapping words with Lindsay quietly. For a while I remember to keep asking Pip questions to keep her awake, but time passes and the sky gets darker as I fall asleep between two of my book characters come to life.

I wake up again to the song 'Stuck in the middle with you' by Stealers Wheel. How ironic. Pip is leaning drowsily on my shoulder, a spool of spit going from her mouth to my shirt. Her eyes are slightly open and glassy, almost asleep but not quite. The car is completely quiet apart from the gentle purr of the engine.
"Fuck." I swear quietly under my breath and nudge Pip upright, trying in vain to wipe the drool off my shoulder.
"Alright mate?" Lindsay nods at me in the rear-view mirror.
"Yeah. Sorry, I fell asleep. I look at the clock on the dashboard. "Shit, do want me to drive for a while?"
"I will." Danny says quietly. Lindsay nods and pulls over, leaving the engine running.
"You sit in the front." She tells me. Lindsay opens the door and pulls a grumbling Pip out so I can leave. Pip then gets shoved into my seat and Lindsay climbs in behind her. By the time I get around to the front, Lindsay has managed to strap both of them in and is leaning up against the door with Pip curled sleepily against her chest.

It's almost midnight by the time the mountain that is our destination comes into view. Huge oak trees tower above our heads, leaves just pushing through on the bare branches. The dirt track winds into a massive clearing. The moon bleaches everything a silvery-grey.
"Can anyone be bothered setting up the tents?" No body replies to Lindsay. "Alright, the car it is."
We all let out a sigh and let our seats back as far as they will go. Pip grumbles a bit but Lindsay shushes her, gently stroking her hair until they both fall sleep. Ty leaves her earphones in and turns to face the door. Danny cheerfully tells us all goodnight before curling up in the front seat. I stretch out and turn on my side, staring up at the stars through the window. It strikes me, suddenly, how strange this all is. How all of these characters – my characters – seem to have suddenly come to life. Different genders, sure, but so similar in every other way. Still thinking about the twists in life, I drift to sleep.

Pips incessant chatter wakes me.
"… and my tent can go there, and your tent can go there. Ty, we got one just for you. Hey Lin, we should build a fire there…"
The others mutter brief responses and tent pegs clatter as they are emptied onto the ground. I groan and stretch, half falling and half stepping out onto the grass.
"Hey look, Richard's awake!" Pip skips over to me. "Your tent can go next to Danny's and mine. It'll be genius!" I rub my eyes and survey the clearing. In the centre is a pile of sticks which I presume is Pips idea of a fire. Straight across from me is a dark green three roomed tent, already set up with a portable cooker out the front. Lindsay's tent. To the left is a miniscule, blindingly bright pink tent, only half erected. If I squint against the glare I can just discern pictures of care bears printed on it. There is no doubt in my mind that this is Pips. The pile of black and grey fabric is to the right of Lindsay's tent must be Ty's and the single room blue tent next to that will be Danny's.
Slowly, trying not to crack my back after a stiff night in the car, I haul out my navy blue tent and dump it on the ground in between Danny and Ty's. Pip continues to chatter as the rest of us ignore her and get to work, setting up tents, organising food and fire.
"What do we need a fire for?" Ty asks at one point and Pip looks scandalized.
"What… only for, you know, toasting marshmallows, telling ghost stories round. All the usual camping things."
"Have you ever even been camping?" Danny asks, laughing.
"… No." Pip sulks off into her tent. The peace and quiet only lasts about two minutes though.
"Liinnnddssayyy! I'm booorrred."
Lindsay sighs and ignores her, placing some bacon in the frying pan for lunch.
"Liiinndddssaaaay!"
"Fucking hell." Danny mutters. "She's like your kid."
"Shut up." Nonetheless, Lindsay opens the bright pink tent and looks inside. Over her shoulder I can see Pip lounging on her pink blow up mattress, her shirt riding up her stomach and hair sticking to her face in the heat.
"Come for a walk with me?" she asks sweetly.
"No."
"Pleeeaase?"
"No."
"Whhhyy?"
"Because you're being a whiny brat." Lindsay snaps.
"And if I behave?" Pip flutters her eyelashes.
"Maybe."
Pip scowls. "Fine."
When Lindsay turns away, she is smiling.
"There are ice lollies in the chilly bin, by the way." She calls as she walks away. Pip immediately jumps up and runs to grab one, tugging her shirt down as she goes.
And so the day progresses.

(Lindsay)

After lunch, Pip comes and perches on my knee.
"Can we go for a walk now?" she asks winding her arms around my neck.
"Only if you stand up." I laugh."
"The question is," she smirks, "do I want to?"
"Just go for a fucking walk so we don't have to watch you being all soppy and shit!" Ty tells us. Danny laughs and agrees and Richard asks if I want him to start dinner before we get back.
"Nah mate, we won't be long." I stand up, placing Pip on her feet and take her hand. "Where do you want to go?"
She shrugs. "Anywhere."
Sunlight filters through the leaves, speckling the ground with light. A cool breeze ruffles Pips hair, sending it fluttering across her face and occasionally onto mine. We say nothing, just walk hand in hand, thinking.
"Do you think he likes us?"

I look at her sideways.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, do you reckon he actually wants us to live with him, or if he wants to come camping with us, or any of the other shit we make him do? Camp camping, he he. Like, he looked kinda freaked out when I took him to the Princess bar."

She looks up at me. I smile and squeeze her hand and smile.

"He would've asked us to move out if he didn't like us, sweetheart." I tell her. "He wouldn't have come camping with us. I think, maybe, he's a bit freaked out that we rob banks, but he still likes us. I think."

She thinks about it for a while in silence, swinging our arms.

"Alright." She finally agrees. "He must like us to put up with us this well."

The sun begins to sink in the sky and the clouds begin to turn orange in the dying rays. The air begins to cool and I put my arm around her shoulder in a pathetic attempt to share body warmth.
"We should probably turn back." I say eventually, breaking the silence. We come to a halt in the middle of the path.

"Spose so."

We don't move.
"Wow, look at us, leaping into action." Pip laughs quietly. I smile and wrap both arms around her, just holding her under the cover of the trees. We stay there for another moment, breathing in each other's smell.
"Come on then." I give her a light kiss then start walking back the way we came, her still tucked under my arm.

By the time the tents come into view, the stars are glimmering through the gaps in the trees.

"What's for dinner then?" Pip asks as we draw closer.

"Macaroni cheese."

"You're going to ruin my figure with all this food." She whines.

"Cherie, you are beautiful. You always will be."

"No I won't," she sulks, suddenly in a mood. "I'll get fat and ugly."

"Alright then marshmallow man, do you want to go shopping for some elasticated trousers?"

"Fuck you!" she hisses, then storms into her tent fuming. The others look at me.

"What? I only called her a marshmallow man."

They stare at me incredulously.

"Are you serious?" Richard says. I nod.
"It was only a joke!"
"Why the fuck would you say that? You know what she's like." Danny groans.

A sigh escapes my lips and I storm over to the cooker.
"Do you want dinner or not?"
They all mutter vague affirmations and go back to whatever they were doing before while I begin to cook the pasta, leaving Pip to sulk.

(Rider)

"Oh god PLEASE shut up!"

"Why?"

"Cause no one can sleep with… with… that!"

"Oh go back to bed!"

"Get fucked!"

"Trying to, but you won't sod off. Its ruining it a bit!"

"GAHHHHHLALALALALALALALALA!"

Ty shuts up and shuffles about a bit in her tent and I ignore any noises that might be coming from Lindsay's where Pip has apparently moved. I turn over and tug at my sleeping bag, trying to get comfortable on the squeaky blow up mattress. Outside, I can hear the trees rustling and the steady crackle of the fire that Pip insisted we make after dinner. With a resigned sigh, I accept the fact that I can't get to sleep. I pull my puffer jacket on over my pyjamas and shuffle outside to watch the stars for a while. Already there, holding a stick over the fire, is Danny.
"What… what are you doing?" I ask.
"What does it look like I'm doing?"
"… toasting marshmallows?"
"Well done." Comes the sarcastic reply.
"But… its 2 am." I can't believe it.
"Perfect marshmallow time." She looks into the fire and shovels a gooey blackened mess into her mouth.
"Ummm, ok, yeah. Fair enough. Can I have one?" She is so perfect, so like the character that I thought up all that time ago.

"No, they're mine." But she hand holds out a stick with a few shoved on the end anyway.
"No, erm, I… yeah. I think I'll just go back to bed actually. What's that noise?" I stare into the fire trying not to listen to the little pleading moans followed by a shhhhh sweetheart that are coming from the big dark green tent.
Danny looks up, a slightly scarred look in her eye. "Whatever you do, don't walk past Lindsay's tent. Goodnight!"

Thank god all I have to do is walk past Ty's half-collapsed tent in order to reach mine.