Chapter 22: Paging Pendragon Manor

[Lance's POV:]

I could hardly believe it. My heart leaped as I finished my call with Jeanette Harker. She had agreed to a date with me! I half-wanted to shape-shift into my lycanthian form and run around chasing my own tail in joyous exuberance.

"Well?" Robert asked the second I hung up the phone. I let out a heavy sigh, turned, and smiled at both he and Eva.

"She said yes." I answered with a grin.

"She did?" Eva said, grinning back at me, her expression brightening.

"See? See? I knew it was going to work!" Robert remarked smugly. "I'm telling you, Lance, your dead poet lingo did the trick."

"Shut up, you idiot." She huffed at him. "Jeanette said yes. This means that now we've got some work to do."

"Work?" I echoed. Now things were getting confusing again. What was she talking about? What 'work' was she referring to?

"Yes, work." Eva repeated with a firm nod. "You may have gotten her to agree to a date, but now you've got to be trained how to take a girl out on a date."

"Yeah, like a real man." Robert threw in. "One that actually regularly says 'balls.'"

"Wrong." She corrected him. "Like a real werewolf."

"You're serious?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Wait...there's a specific way werewolves got on dates?" Robert asked, skeptical.

"There's a proper way to act on dates for all lycanthians." Eva spoke in a knowledgeable way. "And I'm going to train you in this dying art, because God willing, we're going to see to it that Jeanette becomes your mate."

I could feel my face start to burn and squared my shoulders indignantly. "I wish you wouldn't talk that way, Eva." I muttered. "It always makes me feel like you have a certain amount of expectation for whatever may come of this venture. Honestly, is it not better that we leave such things up to the whims of fate?"

"Fate doesn't always move fast enough to keep up with us." She replied with a fierce look. "Vampire, go fetch the butler. We've got some training to do."

Two hours passed with me barely keeping up with what Eva taught me about the courting customs of our kind, and at the very most I wound up with quite the headache. More than one glance at Robert showed he shared my sentiments.

"No, you can't go for any moves like that, Rook." Eva said when he made a rather coarse suggestion. "Maybe for a good chunk of bitten male werewolves who still remember what it's like to be human. But that's not what we're doing here with Lance."

"Not sure why." He grumped at her. "I mean, it's not like he was just born a werewolf like you are. He's a mutant; his 'werewolf virus' was something he contracted from a freaking test tube."

"Werewolves," She began in a huff, "Are bitten. Lycanthians are born."

"Aren't you all technically the same thing?"

"Lycans have easier transformations that have nothing to do with the moon, and more control over ourselves, and healing isn't as painful for us."

"Then technically Lance isn't really either one, by those terms!"

"From what we can tell," I interjected as gently as I could, "My...condition is actually truly closer to true lycanthian nature than a lycanthropy infection. Nothing about my transformations is painful or tied to a lunar cycle, and I think even you have played witness to the fact I can control myself easily when shape-shifted."

"Yeah, but you heal almost instantly." Robert protested. "Eva doesn't."

"Hence, I do have a difference."

"You're still going to be treated like a lycan proper." Eva responded, looking somewhat miffed. I gave a ragged sigh, looking away from the little charts and notes she had doodled awkwardly, and buried my face in my hands, massaging my temples. This minor deliberation had nothing to do with preparing myself to have a date with Jeanette.

"Please, can we just take a break for right now, you two?" I asked wearily.

"I agree with Mister Pendragon!" Gerard snapped. He had flicked the television on earlier, and had been looking for an excuse to turn up the volume at some point. "This is getting wearisome fast, and as much as I would like to see him succeed, we all could use a quick breather."

Eva and Robert resorted to mutinous grumbling, and I glanced up as Gerard slowly raised the volume on the T.V. Unsurprisingly it was on the news, with reporter Vicki Vale covering a number of stories all at once. As she spoke, an image suddenly appeared on-screen to the side of her face, depicting a man with ghost-white skin, long green dreadlocks, and wild red eyes. A chill ran down my spine without warning, and I waved a hand quickly to prevent Gerard from switching the channel.

"Among this breakout, the primary concern of the police force is the escape of the Joker," Vicki said, worry in her eyes. "Once again, the crazy crime clown has evaded capture and police efforts, and his current whereabouts are unknown. Other escapees include The Penguin, Clayface, and Spellbinder. Still no word on whether this breakout is at all related to the earlier escape of three inmates, including the criminal known as Wraith."

A second image rolled onscreen, taking up half the space of the Joker's picture, and my gut twisted. The picture was a young woman with dark hair and green eyes and two large blue wings that I knew all too well.

"Dude!" Robert squawked, just inches from my ear. "Is that your sister?"

"Unfortunately," I groaned, "Yes, it would appear so."

"Did nobody else notice how hot she's gotten?"

I tossed him a withering glare.

"I mean, be-because I didn't." He said quickly, leaning as far back as possible.

"Do I even want to know why your sister has eagle wings?" Eva asked, crossing her arms. "And really blue ones, at that."

"No." I answered in clipped tones. "What I would like to know, is how in the world did she get herself admitted to Arkham Asylum in the first place and why did she then break out?"

"Well it's not like you can just ask her, right?"

"Actually...it's exactly like that. Gerard, can you find me a handset phone?"

He rose from the couch without a word and immediately searched the room before finally returning, holding out a handset phone.

"If you are hoping to contact her via cell phone, sir," he remarked, "Might I remind you that we saw her smash quite a few of those? It is very unlikely she still even has a cell phone."

"I'm not calling her old cell number," I answered, hoping Robert wouldn't make an ill-humored joke about Arkham cells, dialing a familiar number that I hadn't required calling in years, "I'm calling the manor."

"The manor?" He repeated in surprised.

"Manor?" Eva echoed, raising her eyebrows. "What manor?"

"Pendragon manor, duh." Robert said as though it was perfectly obvious. "What, you didn't know Lance-man has a family manor? It's like, a patented fact on the rich warning label that they automatically come with family manors. Batteries not included, but hey, they get freaking manors."

I put the phone to my ear, counting the rings, and shot him a glare. "Robert, please shut up."

I finished speaking just in the nick of time, as someone picked up on the other end of the line.

"Pendragon manor." Chirped a voice I didn't recognize, clearly mocking.

"Who is this?" I demanded.

"Um...who is this?" The voice demanded.

"A very short-tempered werewolf who has gone two days without a proper meal and four days without a decent night's sleep." I let a snarl edge into my voice. "Put Guenhivyre Pendragon on the phone, now."

"Oh. Oh, crap. Uhh...who do I tell her is calling?"

"Her big brother."

There was a strangled yelp, and a distant second voice shouted for me to hang on for a moment.

"Sir, while I am unable to account for your sleep patterns," Gerard began, "I've seen to it that you've been eating pr—"
"I need to exaggerate just a tad, Mister Montaine," I answered curtly, covering the mouthpiece of the phone to avoid being overheard, "I have a feeling that whatever idiots my sister is consorting with won't cooperate willingly otherwise. Really though, I do feel a bit peckish. Fetch me a snack?"

He rolled his eyes and swept off, doubtless weary from my high maintenance mood-swings. I uncovered the mouthpiece, listening to the white noise on the other end for a moment. What in the world was my sister up to, anyway? I knew she had always been a little...edgy, but getting herself thrown into Arkham and then breaking out was something else entirely. I waited only a few more moments before I finally heard shuffling on the other end of the line.

"Hello...?" Came my sister's hesitant voice.

"Guenhivyre." I addressed her briskly.

"Oh...oh, hey Lance..." she began, and if she had been hesitant before, she was wary now, "Hey, uh...what's up? Why you calling?"

"Oh, I couldn't help but notice the news, sister dear. I am most surprised that you decided to simply up and an adopt a criminal lifestyle and get yourself admitted to the local mental institute."

"...Lance, I know this looks bad, but please don't freak out or anything on me."

"I'm not freaking out, sister dear. Not yet. But I shall admit to having some difficulty in trying to reach you. And then it occurred to me I should think to call home. I wasn't actually sure you would be there, but I suppose my instincts were on the money this time." I said coolly. "And I cannot help but wonder if you have invited your criminal acquaintances into the family manor."

"That's a...that's a valid concern." She mumbled.

"Did you just decide to open the place up to all the criminally insane?"

"Well, no...that wasn't what I was going for." She answered. "But, uh...it's kind of hard to drive them away now. I mean, what with that goddamn giant tea cup out in the middle of the front yard."

"Giant tea cup?" I repeated. My God, was she on drugs too?

"Yeah, uh...don't ask." She answered, her voice getting a bit of an edge to it.

"Are you sober?"

"What kind of dumb question is that, dude? Of course I'm sober."

"Who answered the phone?"

"Not anyone important," she said quickly. "Do you wanna tell me why you're just deciding to interrogate me, Lance? Because I'm not sure how much of the news you've seen, but some crap's going down, and right now I'm kind of in the middle of something important. Like, trying to prevent a bloodbath from happening kind of important."

"What's happening on the news?" I asked, feeling somewhat testy.

"The city's threatening to go into some kind of lockdown or something. I'm not sure why—"

"And it can't possibly have anything to do with the fact that you and nearly ten or more criminals are running amok in the city?"

"Har-dee-har." She snorted at me. "With the exception of Joker, I'm not sure we warrant a city-wide lockdown. No, I think it's gotta do with something else. Some stuff going down at City Hall and the GCPD and something. Now, are you going to tell me why you're calling?"

"I should have thought you may have figured it out by now!" I snapped, feeling my temper bubble near the surface. "I'm coming back home, Guen!"

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.

"You're coming home? H-here?"

"Yes." I answered, sighing raggedly.

"I thought you liked living in the penthouse. I thought you didn't care about this place."

"Things change." I answered. "I'm coming home this weekend. And I'm bringing my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" She echoed in disbelief.

"Under more normal circumstances, I would have introduced the two of you. I imagine you would get along with her; she's a librarian. But things have been...difficult these last couple of weeks, Guen. I am stressed and I need to relax, away from the office. I want to come back to the house, and I want Jeanette to see it."

"So...I guess that means that I gotta shut this thing down, huh?"

"If you are partying or whatever the hell it is that you do with handfuls of escaped convicts, take it elsewhere. I want none of it there when I arrive with Jeanette. I expect the place to be in normal condition and criminal-free. If I so much as catch any of them hanging about the place, I'm going to lose my temper, Guenhivyre." I said as calmly as I could manage. "Do I make myself very clear?"

"Crystal." She said flatly. "Thanks for calling, brother."

"And get rid of that damn cup, would you?"

"Oh. Oh, I'm going to."

I hung up with a sigh, rubbing my temples.

Well, that was one difficult obstacle taken care of.

A/N: Originally this chapter was going to be one of the few that crossed over with my other fanficiton, Twisted Souls, but since that fanfiction met its early demise, this isn't quite what I had been hoping for a triumphant chapter debut. Still, I had fun with it. And that's what matters, right?