We were on our honeymoon when I brought it up for the first time.

"Caellum strangely resembles you babe. Have you ever noticed it? He's definitely got your eyes... I would recognize that ocean blue anywhere." I showed her a picture Jesse had emailed me of Caellum and Jessica playing with the train set.

She took a deep breath. "There's probably something I should tell you Chloe. Luke's sister Trinity... Isn't biologically his sister. She's mine. When my parents died, they split us up. Luke's mother wanted Trin, but not me. She was only three at the time. I couldn't just take her and leave when I found out. A few years later, Luke drove from Seattle to Chicago to find me. He told me how she was doing, brought me pictures and that sort of thing. He kept me updated on her regularly. Ultimately she's why I chose Seattle for college. Luke started bringing me around and when I saw her for the first time... I knew I'd still do anything to protect her. I got all of the money from my parents, they hadn't had a chance to change the wills, but I made sure she was taken care of. Luke brought her to California with him, because his mom had started drinking heavily and he knew I'd want her close when I got there. He called me before we even left Seattle and told me she was pregnant. I knew I had to take Caellum from her, she wasn't ready. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Jesse doesn't know, hell Trinity doesn't know. Just me and Luke. And now you I guess." She was wiping tears off her face with the sleeve of her sweater.

"Beca, baby, I get why you didn't tell me. I see how painful it is to you that she doesn't know you are her older sister. To even talk about her is killing you. I get it. I'm glad we have our son and I think what you did by taking him was selfless and the most honorable thing you have ever done. The fact that we got him from your family makes it that much more special, doesn't it? To see your flesh and blood grow up with everything you never had?" I tried comforting her, but it was too late. Beca was excluding herself from reality already.

"I need some time babe. I just gotta go for a walk or something and clear my head. I'm sorry." she got up and walked out of the room.

She was gone all day, and I started to worry. The rain picked up and it was getting dark outside by the time she walked in soaked and shivering.

"Oh my god, Beca! Get out of those clothes. Jesus Christ, what were you thinking?" I panicked when I saw how blue her lips were turning.

She just shook her head and started undressing. I grabbed a blanket from the closet and wrapped her up in it. She let me pull her down on the couch and hold her until she stopped shivering.

"Snowflake?" she whispered to me. "I love you, so much and I know I promised you two weeks in paradise... But I miss him. I need to hold him and cuddle him and have him remind me that I am normal. This whole talking about Trinity thing has me spun out. I just don't want our honeymoon to be you sitting in the room waiting for me to come home while I walk around and chuck rocks at the ocean. Can we go home and you won't hate me?" she looked up into my face.

"Of course we can. You know I don't care where we are as long as it's with you. That's my paradise." she kissed me.

Things pretty much went back to normal when we got home. Beca went back to work and I was at home all day. Jessica had moved in with us and had started early maternity. At least I had the company. Beca and I had opted to turn the master into a room for both kids and we switched our room to the nursery. That had been a fun day to watch. Beca and Jesse were determined to do it without any help and they spent the following five hours cursing each other and screaming random swear words. Finally after a particularly bad incident involving Beca's fingers and the bed frame from our room, she screamed out, "Fuck you Uncle Jesse!" and dropped her end. Caellum, clapping and laughing on Jessica's lap started yelling too.

"Fuck Unca, fuck Unca!" and I buried my face in my hands.

"Awesome. The two words our son can say. Not cat or bird, but fuck and uncle. That's just fantastic." Beca thought it was great.

"At least you can use him to curse Jesse now. Seeing as he has no respect for the moneymakers." she held up her red hand. I kissed it gently.

They did wind up finishing it, Caellum yelling fuck the entire time.

By the time July rolled around again, Caellum was nine months. He was starting to take steps, and his vocabulary expanded greatly. Beca sat down with me to discuss the next portion of our lives.

"Do you still want to go back to school? Or would you prefer to continue being my beautiful homemaker?" she joked with a wink.

I knew I wanted to go back, but I didn't think this was my year. Jessica thankfully piped up.

"I'm going to be home with Emily for the year. I have no problem keeping Caellum too. I think you should do it Chloe. You took a year off and did the mom thing but I can see it's killing you to not have finished what you started. This way you don't have to stress about taking him to daycare and I can keep you updated all day. Go for it, it's two years of your life and then you can take more time off before you start the doctorate portion you've been dying to take. By the time you've taken a year or two between, Caellum will be in school too, and it will be a hundred times easier to go back."

"Jess, are you sure? I mean... A newborn and Caellum? He's a handful and a half, and he's only getting worse." I reasoned.

"Sweetheart, I did it for a living. I can handle two babies. Trust on that. Plus, he's not so bad. He's just active and curious. That's a good thing. He's thinking and learning. Believe me... I want to do this for you guys. After everything you've done for us."

"If you ever need me to pull out and help Jessica, are you going to tell me? I will in a second and try again another year." she nodded.

It was set. I was going back to school.