I can only apologise for how long this has taken me. If you're reading this, thank you for hanging in there.

Before things get tougher it's only fair that our favourite couple get to have a bit of respite. Ideas and reviews are always welcome.

As always, you guys rock :).

'Ugh!' Edward retched, a disgusted expression marring his perfect face, 'I've got to go, I can't be around this anymore.'

Bella's gaze shot up uncertainly, nervous about what had riled the normally playful vampire. Emmet was next to him in an instant, thudding him on the shoulder in a brotherly fashion. The force of his action would have killed the strongest of humans.

'I know, same here,' he muttered agreeably, 'it makes me sick, just look at them!'

'I mean, I have to listen to it all day long, it's distracting. I bet Jazz is fed up of it too.' Although his complaining was relentless, Bella identified the cheeky glint in his eye that Edward displayed whenever he was up to something. Unfortunately, she was usually the unsuspecting victim of whatever prank he decided to play. Finally giving in and allowing him the attention he was after, Bella asked doubtfully,

'Can we help you with something, Edward?' Carlisle chuckled at her tone and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him defensively as though he could protect her from whatever they were planning.

If only that were true.

Edward raised his hands in a gesture of surrender before replying glumly,

'No, Bella, I don't suppose you can. I imagine it's probably worse for you than it is for any of us.' Although she suspected trickery, Bella couldn't help the concern that flooded her expression as she observed both vampires' sorry stares.

'Well what's up then?' The teenager flicked his eyes to where his adoptive father was sitting comfortably and Bella inhaled a sharp intake of breath. 'Carlisle?' She questioned anxiously and Edward nodded in silent affirmation.

Carlisle finally diverted his attention to his adoptive children. Bella, having watched them for several minutes thought to herself quietly, woah, apparently it takes a lot to get a response from a vampire. She congratulated herself on keeping Carlisle's attention but was interrupted before her ego got too out of control.

'It's constant,' Edward whined petulantly, though trying unsuccessfully to mask the smirk that was apparent on his supposedly unhappy face. 'He never stops. Bella's so incredible, Bella's so beautiful. How did I end up with Bella? I wonder what she's doing, is she okay? Does she know I love her? Bella, Bella, Bella.'

Emmet snorted as Edward rattled off the thoughts that he had heard over the previous weeks and they both turned to leave abruptly as Carlisle lifted his stare to allow the weight of it to fully rest on them. Although the patriarch of the Cullen family was famous for his restraint, the glimmer of fear on his tormentor's faces was apparent, brief though it was. Bella giggled at their boldness, though she felt Carlisle's hold on her loosen as they continued to impersonate him jovially.

'Bella,' Emmett continued in a mock high-pitched voice, 'won't you stay with me Bella? I'll look after you Bella.' The two of them blew kisses at each other and batted their eyelashes furiously and a small smirk pulled the soft lips of the head of the family. Despite his stony stature, apparently Carlisle was quite enjoying the performance.

Although she knew they were only joking, the subject of their conversation couldn't help the swell of emotion caused by the suggestion that maybe, just maybe, there was some truth in what they said. Bella was pulled out of her lazy reverie by a swift movement and when she refocused her gaze she found that Carlisle had pounced from his seat and had pulled his youngest son to the floor in a cacophony of thuds and chuckles. Bella immediately missed the close contact, but she was happy to see the Cullen men mucking around, just like they always had.

Though she hadn't thought it possible, Carlisle was even more beautiful in action. His lithe muscles strained underneath his shirt as he ducked and dodged the blows that Emmett launched at him and his crimson eyes glinted with playfulness as he took the opportunity to dive at his attacker. The pair landed with an almighty crash and Edward threw himself straight back into the midst of the action, a mass of flailing limbs and pointed teeth as each of them fought for dominance.

'So Bella,' Emmet chimed in happily between blows, revelling in Carlisle's clear embarrassment, 'how much of Carlisle's drivel do you actually listen to before you tune him out? We've taken bets, so think about how you answer!'

Bella giggled, a beautiful sound that reverberated around the room before she finally answered honestly,

'None.'

Carlisle's relief was obvious as he immediately turned to his partner before being knocked to the ground, Edward having made the most of his clear distraction.

'How?' He asked interestedly, though his voice was strained as he fought off the two heavy vampires, and she answered him with ease.

'I turned it off.'

Immediately the fighting stopped and each of them bombarded her with questions; Bella responded by shrugging her shoulders unhelpfully.

Edward looked to Carlisle for some sort of explanation but before he could offer one, Emmet had pushed his bulky frame between them roughly.

'I don't know what you're looking at him for,' he chastised Edward boldly, 'I'm in charge of this coven now.'

Edward bit back a laugh as Carlisle interjected,

'And how did you work that one out?' The grizzly-vampire, as Bella referred to him inside the privacy of her own head, drew himself up to his full height before answering.

'As you two have finally caved and resorted to draining humans, I'm now the longest serving male vegetarian and therefore am the head of this family.'

Although Carlisle detected his son's playful tone, Edward was outraged.

'Humans!?' He yelled unbelievingly, 'what humans?' Three pairs of eyes darted to Carlisle's partner, who was plaiting her hair silently, though she hadn't failed to notice the change in their conversation.

'Oh please,' Edward continued disdainfully, 'she's hardly human.'

'Ahem.' Bella's interruption was unsubtle but effective, the men stopped bickering, though the play fight resumed in full force.

An hour later, calm had finally been restored at the Cullen household and Bella was hunting for ingredients for her famous carbonara. Well, famous among the living anyway. As she reached up to the highest cupboard she felt a pair of strong, cool arms around her midsection and she smiled without having to check who it was. She leaned back into the broad frame, sighing contentedly.

'Are you this forward with everyone you know, or is it just vampires?' Emmett breathed, his tone enquiring.

Edward exploded behind them in a fit of hysterics and before she knew it Carlisle had appeared, the three of them resuming exactly where they had left off. Well aware that cooking would be impossible in such a hostile environment, Bella huffed impatiently and pulled out a menu, dialling deliberately as she left the room, allowing them to continue their childish display of masculinity uninterrupted.