Darkness Gathers
Part One of the Darkness Trilogy
Chapter Eleven
The flight back to the mansion passed in mostly silence as each member of the team was lost in his or her own thoughts. Kat remained where she was curled up, leaning against Gambit as she tried to ignore the gnawing pain that was once again starting to make its presence known to her. Something about the cravings was different than they had been when she'd been a teenager but then again the shift in her abilities had been almost instantaneous with this new serum. As the jet landed back at the mansion a shudder ran through the feral before she pushed to her feet along with Gambit. She moved slowly off of the jet, padding along beside the Cajun in bare feet and seeming to be completely unaware of the fact.
Gambit frowned as he watched Kat stand and he quickly grabbed his coat since she made no move to keep it over her body. He draped it over her shoulders before starting out of the jet and into the underground hangar not missing the hundred mile stare the feral seemed to be developing. Beast stepped up beside him once they hit the ground and shook his head.
"Just get her to my lab. I'll meet you there and have everything ready to go. I only hope my original research will be of help to her with this new serum," he sighed and once Gambit nodded Beast took off ahead of the two.
Kat continued to wander next to him and he finally realized that the usual predatory and feral gleam that was always in her eye was missing. He'd never seen the woman so complacent and that in itself worried him. Seconds later he was thanking his quick reflexes as the feral crumpled, completely limp to the ground in mid stride as though every muscle in her body had just…stopped. Gathering her in his arms, the Cajun bolted for Beast's lab hoping the doctor had everything ready as he once again found his heart in his throat.
Beast was just finishing setting up the IVs that had the best anti-serum he'd been able to concoct when Gambit appeared with the unconscious woman. He moved quickly, taking Kat from Gambit as the Cajun explained exactly what had happened back in the hangar. That was a new development; from what the professor had told him about her past, Kat had been awake through most of the ordeal the last time around, even if she hadn't exactly been lucid. Moving quickly he prepped Kat and inserted the IVs while Gambit paced just out of sight. Once Beast was satisfied with his work, he pushed the door open and allowed Gambit back into the room.
"She be alright, right?"
"Honestly, Gambit I am unsure. The effects of the serum are unknown but if anyone is going to pull through this, she will. Stay with her; I was told she became violent during her last fight against the withdrawals but restraints are not a good idea with her at the best of times."
Gambit nodded slightly as he drug a chair over to the bed and collapsed into it. This was going to be a very long few days but he was not about to leave her side.
Renegade woke up in her own bed still wearing the same clothes she had on in the X-jet. She rolled over and looked at the alarm clock; 3:24 am. She could hear the sounds of Logan thrashing in his sleep, and her stomach was growling, unsure of how long she had been asleep a shower seemed like the best idea. Renegade slumped out of bed and into her bathroom, had a quick shower and donned a fresh set of clothes. She then quietly crept down to the kitchen hoping to not wake the entire mansion. In the fridge she found some leftovers and a few pieces of fruit, which she quickly devoured. Then it was off to Beast's lab assuming that's where Kat would be, Hanks lab was dark and quiet when she entered. She could make out Kat unconscious on the lab bed hooked up to an IV and various other monitors. She smiled to herself as she noticed the Cajun passed out in a nearby chair, feeling rather pleased with herself as she was sure that his presence confirmed everything she thought she knew about his feelings for the feral. Renegade exited the room as quietly as she had entered, and with nothing else to do with herself till Logan woke up for their morning run she grabbed her coat and headed for her favourite hiding spot… the roof.
The winter chill was in the air as she ascended the stairs, but the skies were clear and the stars shining beautifully so a little cold seemed like a small price to pay. Renegade sat down and leaned back in a patio chair staring up at the night sky. She truly enjoyed this time of day, when most of the world slept and it was quiet and peaceful, one could almost feel as if they owned the world. About an hour went by when she heard the crunch of approaching footsteps in the snow. She rose up and turned to the staircase just in time to see Logan immerge.
"Good morning." She greeted him
"Morning, I thought I'd find you up here."
"You were looking for me?"
"I stopped by your room to check on you, when you weren't there I thought I'd try the roof."
"Damn now I need a new hiding spot." she chided "How long was I out this time?"
"'Bout a day."
"Did it help? I noticed Kat's out cold in the Lab."
"You healed her injuries but that serum they injected her with it… it alters DNA; comes with some nasty withdrawals too and as near as I can tell you can't heal that."
"I suppose I have my limits. How is she doing?"
"We will know more when she wakes up. She'll pull through; she's a tough kid."
"That's something at least. Have you given any thought to my offer? I heard you again when I woke up...the nightmares."
"I don't know."
"Oh come on, I get that I'm not your favourite person in the world, but you can't seriously want to spend all of eternity having nightmares and broken memories."
Logan seemed a little caught off guard by her remark and he thought for a moment before he replied, "Tell you what, I will let you take a crack at it…If you tell me what you really know about Chimera."
"You don't miss a damn thing do you? Honestly I don't know that much but here it is. About 10 years ago I hacked my way into their database and I caught just enough to know that they were experimenting on mutants. I attempted to download the files, but they didn't give me the time; never had enough to read them either. Other than that all I can say is that it did not end well for me. And before you ask, I'm not going into detail."
"You hacked Chimera…could you do it again?"
"Probably, but I won't do it. Those people do not want to be found; there will be consequences, a price to pay and I won't pay it."
"We can protect you."
"It isn't me I'm worried about."
"Those people need to pay for what they did to Kat…and everyone else for that matter."
"I don't disagree and we already know where one of their compounds is at, so if you want to go raze it to the ground, I am with you all the way. Once inside I can use their computers to get their files and everything you need to know. I won't do it from here though; the last thing this place needs is to be on their radar."
"I guess there ain't much point in worrying about it right now. If we took 'em down without Kat there'd be hell to pay and she is gonna need some time."
"I'd wager your right on both counts, but when the time comes I want in; I could use a little action."
"You got it."
"So do I get to try and fix your brain now?"
"Don't you need to recover after Kat first?"
"Hmm, you know I don't really know. I've never tried to heal back to back before."
"You'd better take a few days to rest, just to be safe. Besides you already missed two days of our work out, and I'm itching for a fight."
"You have a point there, I'll go get my IPod and get started."
"Here," he said taking her IPod out of his pocket and handed it to her. "I grabbed it for you when I went to check on you."
"Thanks," Renegade said popping in her ear buds and heading down the stairs for their run.
The next couple days were fairly uneventful, Kat remained unconscious, and Gambit never left her side. Beast was hard at work trying to improve what he was giving Kat to lessen the effects of the serum. Renegade and Logan spent most of the time on one workout or another. Every time they finished up one workout Logan would go check on Kat to see if she had made any improvement, and then was ready for the next go around. It wasn't hard to see that Logan was worried, guilt ridden, blaming himself for everything Kat was going through, and angry that there was nothing he could do but wait. Renegade left well enough alone for the first while but as day two was winding down she couldn't keep it in any longer. They were alone rock climbing just a few miles from the mansion in the afternoon and it seemed like as good of a time as any.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Renegade asked Logan as she began her ascent.
"Talk about what?" Logan demanded sounding annoyed.
"The way you're feeling, you aren't your usual cheerful self," Renegade responded wryly
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine, but don't bullshit me. I can tell you're worried about Kat, you're feeling guilty and you feel like everything that's happened is your fault. It's obvious that you wish you could do something her and this waiting and wondering is tearing you apart."
"Where'd you get all that?"
"I'm pretty well versed in psychology and body language; besides it's written all over your face."
"None of this would have happened if I could have just kept my damn mouth shut."
"You can't know that for sure. Somewhere down the line it may have happened anyway. We all have a share in the blame here; I pushed Kat and Gumbo together, maybe she wasn't ready. If I hadn't those two would probably still be oblivious and you would have had no need to say anything stupid. Xavier let her go alone, the premise of personal business or not he should have at least got her to take someone with her. Then there is Kat who got the bright idea of walking right into the lion's den, without even calling for back up, so you can stop blaming yourself."
"I never said I was blaming myself."
"No you didn't, but you are aren't you."
"You're a total pain in the ass, you know that don't you?"
"I'll take that as a yes," Renegade answered smugly. "Just blame me, and stop being so hard on yourself." She offered as she reached the top of the rock wall and sat at its edge while Logan sat beside her.
"Why are you being so nice to me all of a sudden?"
Renegade laughed at the question "I don't know. You're being so hard on yourself I guess I thought I should ease up."
"I don't want your pity."
"That's good, you won't get it I find pity to be a useless emotion; I don't want it and I won't give it, but that doesn't mean I can't be a little sympathetic…oh god…who am I?"
"I was about to ask that same thing."
"Huh, I guess you guys are having some kind of impact on me, but that's enough about me… so yeah… did you want to talk."
"No point in stirring up a bunch of feelings I can't do anything about, besides we should get back. I want to check on Kat."
"Okay," Renegade agreed, just happy Logan had let her display of emotion go. This is bad, very bad she thought to herself. Her walls were breaking, her self-control was lapsing; this could not end well. The longer she stayed, the harder it was for her to keep emotional distance. It had never been a problem before, she never stayed in one place long enough to develop feelings for anyone. At times her existence had felt a little robotic, but it was better than being caged. I will just have to try harder Renegade thought to herself but she was afraid it was already too late.
When they got back to the mansion Logan headed for the lab and Renegade headed for the kitchen stuffing her face full before heading to her room. She sat alone in the room trying to figure out how to stop from getting attached. Before long Logan appeared in the doorway and Renegade looked up at him.
"How is Kat?" she asked.
"Hank figures she will regain consciousness any time now. She still has a long road ahead. I want to stay with her till she wakes up, so if you still want to try and fix my brain now might be a good time so I don't slash apart the Lab or the Cajun in my sleep."
"I could see how that might get you into some trouble," Renegade said as she rose to her feet.
She gently placed her hand against the side of his face, taking a moment to try and see his pain before activating her healing ability. Her healing light went into him, but something went wrong, the light crept back into her hand shooting up her arm. When it hit her head images started flashing through her brain as pain shot through her body; pain like she had never felt before. Her bones felt as though they were on fire. Renegade screamed in pain and horror before she dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Logan caught her as she fell and while this was a new turn of events as far as reactions she'd had to healing someone, once he made sure she was physically fine, he placed her gently in her bed and slipped back to the lab. He'd have Beast check on her later and make sure she was really alright.
Gambit was dozing in his chair next to Kat's bedside. The Cajun hadn't left Beast's lab or Kat's side since they'd returned to the mansion. The rest of the team had taken it upon themselves to look after him whenever they had checked in on the unconscious feral. It was the sudden movement in front of him and the accompanying growl as Kat sat bolt upright eyes blazing in fury and fear that finally woke him. Before he could even react to the frantic screaming of the various machines attached to her, Kat had realized she was attached to IVs and in one harsh yank tore the plastic from her veins.
"Hey!" Gambit exclaimed as he flew to his feet drawing her attention to him but it was as though she didn't even see him; instead she was seeing something that terrified her.
Kat's eyes snapped towards the noise even as the scent of her own blood invaded her senses. Pain skittered through her body and even as her attention turned to the creature in the room with her she clawed at the skin on her arms and sides, nails tearing through skin increasing the blood scent around her. She snarled as the creature leapt to its feet and caught hold of her wrists, pulling her hands away from her body where she was desperately attempting to dig through to rid her of whatever was causing the pain.
An animalistic howl of pain, terror and confusion escaped her lips as Gambit attempted to restrain her from harming herself any further than she already had. He was surprised Beast wasn't already in there but until someone showed up to give him a hand he was on his own. Even knowing her strength that her form didn't suggest, he was surprised when she managed to break his hold on her right wrist, her fist connecting with his cheek forcing him to release her as he tried to absorb the blow though he knew he was going to end up with a nice bruise and black eye in a day or so. As soon as she was free from his hold, Kat leapt to the far side of the room, eyes darting around her surroundings as she seemed to shrink into the corner as though enemies were closing on her. Gambit shook his head and sighed before slowly starting to approach her again.
At the first sound of his boot landing on the floor, Kat's body twisted and Gambit froze as he realized she was starting to change form. A mix of shock, awe and horror warred over his face as he watched, transfixed and unable to look away. Within seconds a large snow leopard was crouched and ready to attack, ears pinned back and teeth bared though she wasn't even looking in his general direction. Without warning, she struck out at a phantom of her own mind, claws extended and slashing air and wall. Instinctively Gambit hissed in a breath through his teeth drawing the attention of the leopard to him. He knew his mistake even as the four legged form launched directly at him and even with his own agility, he was unable to completely avoid her as her claws from one foot sunk into the right side of his chest dragging down and across his shoulder as he stumbled from the impact and grunted in pain as blood blossomed over his shirt.
Claws scrambled over tiled floors as Kat skidded away from Gambit turning even as she slid. Slowly Gambit started to back away as she paced towards him, teeth bared and snarling a low growl emanating from her throat. With her back to the door she didn't see anyone approaching but Gambit did. As the door opened silently, she crouched ready to attack again only to suddenly find herself blinded and tackled flush to the floor, one strong arm around her neck and the other holding her front feet together despite having claws sunk into her attacker's arm. The scent of blood remained in her nose but now two new and much stronger scents overrode everything else…including the hallucinations she was currently dealing with. She hadn't faced any that had ever seemed so real that she'd needed to fight like she had. Slowly her body relaxed under her tackler as familiar and safe scents entered her mind.
"Easy, Kat; just breathe, Kid," Logan's low and even voice finally entered her thoughts as well as he spoke next to her ear and her claws retracted from his arm. "Gambit get those marks bandaged and the bleeding stopped."
Finally the strongest scent had a name to go with it; Gambit. A shudder ran through her being as she forced herself to relax fully, closing her eyes as she inhaled the Cajun's scent as deeply as she could manage with Logan's considerable weight pinning her to the ground. Once she managed to remain calm long enough, Logan slowly let her up and got her back in the bed deciding to forego the IVs for the time being since they really weren't doing her any good when she just ripped them out all the time. He'd just collapsed into the chair by her bed when Gambit returned and without a word grabbed another chair and resumed his own post on the opposite side of the still furry Kat. It would be several hours before she shifted back to human form and tried to deal with her erratic empathy once again. Thankfully the major withdrawal symptoms receded as quickly as they had appeared giving her time to deal with finding her control once again as well as her guilt over hurting Gambit.
About a day later Renegade awoke again, her mind fuzzy, images still flashing in her brain. Violent images of battles that had ended long before she was every born, some type of medical facility, and she remembered pain, so much pain, so vividly that she swore she could still feel it. She was sure she was losing her mind, which felt like it was being ripped in two. She changed quickly, and checked in the mirror, she looked the same as always yet she felt almost as if a stranger was staring back at her. Looking at the clock it was about midday and the mansion was sure to be bustling with people Renegade was not sure she could handle the social call.
A run she thought grabbing a pair of sneakers out of her closet 'a run with clear my mind' she open her window slipping out and running into the woods behind the mansion. She blasted the music from her phone full blast, and ran as fast as she could, mile after mile until her stomach could be ignored no longer. She turned around and started running back to the mansion. As she neared the mansion she stopped momentarily when she started to feel like she was no longer alone. Renegade waited and listened hearing the sound of snow crunching nearby, Renegade followed the sound only to see a familiar face.
"Rose?" Renegade blurted out confused.
"No, it's Jean. Who's Rose?" She asked. Renegade stared blankly at her a moment as her own memories started coming to the surface.
"No one; never mind," Renegade finally answered.
"What are you doing out here? Are you ok? We were worried," Jean asked her face filled with concern.
"I'm sorry to have worried you I just needed some air, had to clear my head."
"I sense a lot of turmoil in your mind."
"Yeah it's a war zone in there I think I'm losing my mind."
"I'm sure you're not losing your mind, but maybe the professor can help."
"Absolutely not," Renegade answered forcefully.
"He will keep your secrets, if that's what you're worried about."
"No it's not that, but if any of the insanity in my head right now is real, I think he may have a few of his own."
"We all have our secrets, Renegade, you of all people should understand that."
"I do, but on the chance that I did just find one of them out, I do not want him messing around in my head. It's not that he has secrets, it's what this one is, or maybe I don't know anything for sure right now except that my brain has gone haywire."
"Do you remember anything before you blacked out?"
"I remember pain, like I have never felt before, I have no idea what caused it everything else is blank. It's like I have false memories or something and I can't sort out what's real and what isn't."
"I don't think those are false memories; I think they are Logan's, you tried to heal his mind."
"That makes sense, now I just have to figure out how to separate who's who up there. Oh and Jean I just want to say thank you."
"For what? I really haven't done anything."
"Well for coming out in the cold to look for me for one, and also for making me feel welcome. You have never treated me with suspicion, you let things go when I don't want to talk about it, which is most of the time; I appreciate your kindness."
"Oh… Um… your welcome, come on we had better get you inside, you're not even wearing a jacket. How long have you been out here?
"No idea, since about 2:00 o clock."
"Aren't you freezing?"
"A little but it's a pleasant distraction from how hungry I am."
Jean laughed as they made their way inside the mansion. Renegade made her way to the fridge paying attention to nothing else. After wolfing down 3 plates full of food from the fridge she went upstairs to her room to shower and after tossing on some clothes, she headed down to Beast's lab to check on Kat bumping into Scott along the way.
"Where were you?" he demanded.
"I went for a run," she answered flatly.
"Half the mansion was worried about you."
"Sorry Dad, I'll check in first next time… Scout's honour," she mocked.
"Your one of the team now, Renegade; you had better start acting like one," he said sternly.
"Whatever dick," she responded shoving him out of her way and breezing past him.
"Renegade!" he shouted after her.
"Let her go, Scott," Jean said softly approaching him from across the room.
Renegade ignored Scott and continued on her way to the lab. She had barely stepped in the doorway before Kat went bezerk.
"Go away!" Kat snarled as the emotional turmoil from Renegade slammed into her less than useful walls around her empathy.
"Kat I…"
"Get away from me!" Kat screamed launching every projectile she should reach in Renegade's direction.
Renegade turned and left room without another word while Logan and Remy tried to subdue Kat. The feral was having a less than easy time in managing her empathy at the moment and the strength of both Renegade's emotions combined with those that she'd picked up from Logan's memory easily hit the recovering feral. They hit her hard enough to twist her own feelings around to reflect what Renegade was feeling at the moment; if she hadn't had her previous training to figure out the difference between her own emotional state and that of someone else she would have been an even bigger mess but as it was, as soon as the other woman was outside of her empathic range, Kat settled back into her bed with a sigh, closing her eyes as she once again found herself apologizing for her actions even if she'd had very little control over herself lately.
Renegade's mind was still spinning and she felt like she was beginning to lose her grip on reality, so she decided to try and reconnect with herself. In order to do that, she went to the music room happy to find it unoccupied. She picked up an acoustic and started playing and singing some of her favourite songs. Music was the only thing Renegade had left of the person she used to be, she had to let go of everything else but no one could take music away from her. As she strummed and sang, she started to feel a little more like herself again. After about an hour, Renegade hung the guitar back up and headed to the kitchen since it was about supper time and she didn't want to miss a hot meal. The kitchen was full, but seemed a little empty to Renegade as Beast, Logan, Remy, and Kat were nowhere to be scene, likely all still in the lab. Renegade devoured dinner quickly, and then headed down the gym. While on her way she bumped into Xavier.
"Renegade, I'd like a word with you. Can you spare a few minutes?"
"Sure," she answered hesitantly before following him to his office where she took a seat in one of the chairs.
"How are you feeling?"
"Physically, I feel great."
"How about mentally?"
"Like my mind is being torn asunder."
"What do you mean?"
"I have all these pictures in my head, I remember wars that were over before I was born, this facility I have never been in, I remember pain, loss, and sorrow that isn't mine. It's overwhelming. I can barely tell what's me anymore."
"It would seem you got some of Logan's memories, I could help you block them out if you like."
"Oh… No, no, no you can stay out of my head, Chuck."
"I don't understand why you won't let me help you."
"Are you sure you don't understand, because there is more that I remember and if they are in fact Logan's memories then I have a rather large bone to pick with you."
"What is that?"
"I remember trying to kill you; I guess I should say I remember Logan trying to kill you. Of course that's truly no threat to someone who can make people see whatever you want them to. I also remember you toying with his mind for your own selfish purposes; you could have helped him remember who he really is, but instead you made him think that he was one of your team all along because you needed a weapon. All this time even I bought your so called noble cause. Tell me Chuck is anyone here because they want to be or are they just here because you made them believe they want to be."
"No, Logan is the only one I swear, and I am ashamed for what I did to him. I feel guilty all the time because of what I did to him."
Renegade rose to her feet "The worst part of all is that if you had just broke the chains that bound his mind he would have joined you willingly…at least I'm pretty sure he would have. From what I remember of his memories Logan is and was a good and honourable man. Apparently your happier playing puppeteer; just stay out of my head. I can sort this out on my own," with that Renegade turned and stormed out of the room.