Chapter 6

The next days passed with quiet routine. Sam buried herself in work, but took frequent breaks for meals and snacks with one or more members of SG-1. She seemed to be working through her grief and Jack and Daniel gradually began to back off the constant rotation.

Jack was pleased that Sam seemed to be getting her feet back under her. As he sat in his office absently flicking his yo-yo, he reflected that his decision to let her back to work had been the right one. She hadn't chaffed under their revolving attention at first - a sure sign she'd needed their quiet and covert support - but recently, she'd begun grumping at their constant interruptions. Just this morning she'd practically thrown him out of her lab when he'd almost broken one of her doohickies and scuttled the experiment on which she'd spent days of work.

Jack had almost knocked down a patrolling SF as she launched him out the door with a hard shove and locked it on his retreating back. The SF had given Jack a wide smile as they danced in the hall, trying to catch their balance. "She's feeling better then, Sir?"

Jack did his best to maintain an air of affronted dignity, but it was difficult, Sam's insubordination delighted him to no end. "Ya think?"

Jack was painfully aware of his promise to Jacob and the fact that now Sam was mostly back to herself, they needed to talk. But he was stalling and he knew it. He'd been the King of Stall for the last 8 years. Words were not his strong suit and now he needed to use them.

Use your words, Jack. The thought made him snort. Use his words, indeed. He didn't have two to rub together just now. What was he supposed to say? 'So Carter, I promised your dad I'd take care of you, so lets get married, whaddaya say?' Obviously, that just was not gonna work.

Okay, he knew she loved him. At least he was pretty sure she loved him. He still had a little niggling of doubt about that. What Sam saw in him, he would never understand. He didn't have a very good track record with relationships. The longest he'd ever had was Sara and it was his fault they'd divorced.

He'd fallen into a black pit of guilt, pain and emotional isolation after Charlie's death. He had never blamed Sara for leaving him. He'd abandoned her emotionally long before she left him and filed for divorce. Daniel and the first mission to Abydos has been his lifeline. He'd abandoned ideas of suicide in the year between his return and the first summons from General Hammond. In the years since, the pain and guilt Jack carried over Charlie's death had been tempered by his care for his Team and, if he was honest, his Team's care for him.

The bonds between the four of them were stronger and more enduring than mere friendship. They were family. Four individuals so completely disparate in their backgrounds came together to form the "Best Team to Ever Defend the Planet." Jack snickered softly to himself. Hammond had really been playing them up when he'd described SG-1 to the President with that overblown turn of prose.

But they really had been the best, and then the U.S. Government, in its infinite wisdom, had gone and promoted him to General. Jack still wondered what the hell the Joint Chiefs had been smoking when they'd decided he should run the whole place.

If he was honest with himself, he really couldn't have stayed in the field much longer. His knees were shot and it was either move up the chain of command or retire and despite the number of times Jack had, in fact, attempted to retire, he knew he would have driven himself bat shit crazy within a matter of days.

The cabin and fishing were Jack's sanctuary, but he would not have been able to live on a steady diet of rest and relaxation. Smartass attitude not withstanding, he had a strong type A personality and he would never have been able to walk away knowing the rest of his Team was out there without him. If he couldn't lead them through the Gate, Jack was damn sure he was going to hold the fort and keep the light on for them.

The other reason for taking the promotion had been Sam, of course. She'd been dating Pete then and Jack had been convinced she'd moved on. Jack had tried his best to be happy for her. All he had ever really wanted was her happiness and he knew he wasn't anyone's idea of a good catch.

What woman in her right mind would want a man who had been responsible for his son's death? Who was so emotionally crippled he had driven his wife to divorce him? And lets face it, he wasn't getting any younger. Sam was a brilliant, vibrant, beautiful woman and she deserved a man who would love her and who didn't carry his kind of emotional baggage. A man who could give her all she needed now and wasn't bound by Air Force Regulations to keep his distance.

Suddenly Jack pulled the yo-yo string off his finger and flung if across the room with a curse. He'd been over these thoughts so many times he knew them by rote and he'd never come to any better conclusion. What good was contemplating your stupid emotions if it didn't get you any closer to a solution to your problems?

"Sir?" Walter's tentative knock brought Jack back into focus. "Is everything alright?"

Jack sighed, no everything wasn't alright, but he wasn't about to tell Walter what was bothering him. He wasn't going to tell Daniel, so telling Walter was out of the question.

"Yeah, Walter. Peachy."

Walter paused, then turned back to his desk. The man should just get off his ass and ask Colonel Carter on a date. It would settle the SGC's longest standing betting pool and would make him ever so much easier to deal with!

Jack spun his chair around to face the wall, frustration written like a billboard on his face. He had promised Jacob he'd take care of Sam. He knew he wanted a relationship with her and according to Jacob, she still loved him. The natural result of this would be Jack asking her on a date – if it weren't for the damn Regulations. What was he going to do now?

It was time to bite the bullet and see how the chips would fall if he made tentative inquiries. Jack picked up the red phone. "General Hammond, please. This is General O'Neill."