A/N: Yeah! 200 reviews! So this chapter isn't entirely necessary for the plot (than again there isn't much of a plot anymore) but is celebrating 200 reviews. Anyway next week I have absolutely nothing to do but stay home, play animal crossing with my bros and write some damn fanfiction for my neglected readers. I love you all still (even though I kind of forgot how much I loved you guys) and loved the comments and reviews. I'm back (at least for the summer) so that means get ready because I am packed full of jokes, offensive language, and idiotic humor. :D. NOW READ YOUR DAMN CHAPTER!
...please? ._.

Chapter 18: Operation: Find Sakura a Prom Date

You know I think you've officially been upgraded from slut to outcast rebel.

'Wow. I've never felt so good about myself.'

Really? I never knew I meant that much to you.

Sighing I walked down the halls of my own personal equivalent of hell, high school. Though inner did have a point, the whispers weren't as bad, and I didn't get bad looks anymore. I was just ignored, everyone just sort of figured it was wasted effort I guess. Don't get me wrong I prefer this over the gossip and stares anyday, but can't they at least acknowledge my existence. Is that to much to ask?

Now you know how I feel, All The Damn Time!

'Oh. I'm sorry.'

...Hey, you okay? I mean you aren't even going to try to argue? ... I'll let you win.

'Thanks inner, but no thanks. I think I just want some time to process everything.'

I thought you did that. Remember, new wardrobe, slicing off my hair, fighting shit.

'Inner, my life went from being the funny popular high school girl, to a slut outcast with no friends but a college gang that she was just brought into and except by them and aunt Tsunade isn't even acknowledged as a living human being. To most of these people I'm nothing more than the gum that you scrape off of your shoes. I won't even be able to go to prom.'

Prom?

'It's in a month.'

That's why you're upset? Really? We have an entire arsenal of sexy men at are disposal and that's why you're upset.

'I don't think people can be considered an arsenal, and just cause we're in the gang doesn't mean we can use the members.'

Why not?

'Because...well...'cause...
We Just Can't! Okay?.

You don't even have a good excuse. Admit it, one of them would go with us.

'Whatever, class is about to start and thanks to you I'm lucky if I make it in time.'

Aren't you at least going to ask them?

'Ask who!? Come on inner lets make a mental list, we are going to sort it by who would go, who wouldn't, and who shouldn't.'

Okay, Taylor Lautner.

'For the last time he isn't Taylor Lautner, and Hidan would never say yes.'

Tobi.

'Yeah because people will totally like that! Inner he's a fucking child!.'

Sharkie.

'He's blue.'

So.

'It's illegal.'

So.

'Just say the next one.'

Sasori.

'Also, ille...wait what? Sasori, you aren't going to say Pein?'

One, he is your gang leader, you don't call him by name. Two, I don't care if it was an authors joke or not I don't forgive him for the last chapter. Three, have you seen him and Konan? They are my otp.

'Okay... Fine. Anyway, Sasori? Really? Has he said anything to us? Ever?'

No.

'Have we even ever said one thing to him?'

Well there was that one time and... no.

'Exactly. Next.'

Konan.

'Didn't you just say her and "leader" were your otp?'

Shuddup. Um... Kakuzu.

'I don't have nearly enough money for that.'

True. Very true. Deidara.

'You saw how pissed he was last time we talked. We literally called him a drag queen then a prostitute.'

Oh, right. You know you really need to think before you speak, because losing a possible date could be a consiquence.

'I try to think first, problem is you're always there.'

Yeah, yeah save it for later. Let see who else...

'Inner.'

So, um, what about Sasuke's older brother.

'Itachi?'

That would be the one.

'Inner?'

Yes.

'That's illegal.'

Really? Damn, you know he's hot right? 'cause with that attitude you don't seem to be aware of it.

'That's it. Oh and if you hadn't noticed, They were all no's.'

Wait, you forgot someone.

'What are you talking about?'

Zetsu. He isn't illegal and could probably use the self esteem boost of a girl actually wanting to go somewhere with him.

'He's a fucking green oreo and I'm pretty sure he doesn't like us!'

I like oreo's for one! Second, you don't know that!

'You wanna bet!'

Yeah, actually, I do.

'Fine.'

Fine. You text him what he's doing this weekend, and if he wants to hangout and if he shows no interest whatsoever you can mope all you want. However, if he agrees and wants to and he shows how much he cares then honey we're picking out a green dress.

'Fine but you sure you want to go to prom with him, last I checked you had your heart said on Taylor Lautner.'

Oh, be realistic. I don't even know Taylor Lautner. Plus he was in those awful movies.

'You mean the Twilight Saga?'

No I mean all his movies.

'This is so unlike you.'

How so.

'You're dissing Taylor Lautner. I'm not even aloud to do that and I'm you.'

Well you know, he's meh at most.

'Meh?'

Yeah. You know who is really hot and I mean sex-ay.

'Who?'

Liam Hemsworth.

'Who?'

The little brother of Chris Hemsworth.

'Who?'

Chris Hemsworth, a.k.a. Thor.

Okay but who's his brother?

Liam Hemsworth! He fucking plays Gale in the Hunger Games!

'Oh him. He's hot.'

Damn straight.

'The Hunger Games was a pretty good movie.'

Meh.

'Meh? Oh come on it was alright.'

I'm not saying it was bad, I just don't like how similar the book was to Battle Royale.

'What?'

It's a Japanese novel where a class of school children is picked each year to battle to the death, one lives, yada yada. Sound familiar?

'Are you saying The Hunger Games is a rip-off?'

No, I mean who knows, it could be a coincidence but I'll let you decide. Anyway Liam Hemsworth, will marry me, whether I force him to or not.

'Okay then. Moving on.'

What? Oh Right! You need to text your green m&m.

'It's green oreo, not m&m. The green m&m is the sexy female one that all the other m&m's want to get with.'

Exactly.

'That doesn't make sense.'

Hey you made a bet, now hop to it and text gumby.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Neither can I.

'I swear I'll get rid of you someday.'

How you plan on doing that?

'I'll figure it out.'

And if you don't?

'Oh I will.'

Try it, but you won't succeed.

Taking one final breath I pressed send.

Sakura: Hey.

Your kidding, right?

'What?'

Don't what me. "Hey" is the best thing you can come up with.

'Oh come on everyone texts "Hey" then the other person says "hi" or something along those lines. Then the first person says "how's it going?" and the other person says how it's going. Then the first person is like "Oh that's _insert appropriate response_, want to hang out". Don't you know this inner.'

That seems like alot of work, can't you just say "hey, lets hang out".

'Only if you're really close, gosh everyone knows this.'

I don't know this and I'm pretty sure Zetsu won't either.

'Well it's your stupid bets fault we have to go through this!'

You never had to except it.

'You know what this is stupid I'm arguing over a bet I made with myself.'

You're just afraid you'll lose.

Beep Beep Boo-Beep (A/N: Random Sound Effects! Yeah!)

Moment of truth kiddo.

'We haven't asked yet dumbass.'

I'm not dumb.

'Yet, you don't deny the ass part?'

No, I'm ass and proud.

"Huh. Well here goes nothing."

Zetsu: Who is this

'Son of a bitch, see he didn't even add us as a contact.'

That fucking green asshole, he didn't even put a question mark at the end of his text.

'You're worried about grammar. Of course, you're worried about grammar. No, you can't actually show any emotion, that would blasphemous.'

Hey, you show more than enough emotion for the both of us.

'Bitch.'

Jerk.

Bee-Boop Bee-Boop doo-wop (A/N: I think I'll give each of them their own random sound effect ringtone.)

Sakura: Hey

They green skined Akatsuki member looked at his phone and the pinkette's message. Not knowing how to reply he made pretend he didn't know who it was, maybe she'll ignore him and he can go back to pretending he didn't exist.
Maybe she wouldn't notice him.

A/N: Oh my gosh I haven't written a real chapter in so long! Anyway List:
1. This is just a fun two chapters, the next chapter will sort of be part 2 of this. Zetsu may or may not be her prom date it's up to you. Like I said this is sort of a filler to get to the actual prom.
2. I will make this a contest. I made a reference in this chapter, if anyone noticed it I will use whoever they want to be as Sakura's prom date. If no one finds it I'll just put everyones suggestions in a hat as many times as some new said it and draw randomly.
3. Will someone tell me if this is funny or not? I just feel like I'm losing my touch... I don't know I guess I just might be tired since I have to read the jokes over and over while writing to make sure they're right.
4. Read & Review (Forgot to say it last time :p)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I owned Naruto, Itachi would have never ever fucking died and Naruto would have ended happy with Sasuke. Yeah, imagine that.

From a schizophrenic suffering from addiction, yes addiction, to the new animal crossing, of course,
~awesomepikman(This is not the reference, just really tired and wrote pikman instead, decided that it was awesome and would leave it that way.)
~awesomepigman